ArbitraryC posted:

If they were jonesin for each other I feel like it woulda happened a while back, it more reads like a dime romance novel.

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean why bother even posting it on r/relationships at that point "help reddit, my new relationship could come straight out the mind of a lonely incel and is perfect in every way, so perfect in fact that I think my family might feel it's too perfect"

ArbitraryC posted:

will my parents approve of this perfect person with a good job that they've known for years and considered borderline family almost my whole life? please help me reddit

quote:

My [26f] fiancee [31m] is in jail. I am so devastated I don't know what to do.

I met my fiancee when I graduated university. He had just graduated as well, because he had started a little later than most people. We've been together for 5 years now. When you meet him he's an extremely nice guy - very friendly, very cheerful, talkative, and generally quite intelligent. He works as a software engineer (well, he actually lost his job a couple of months ago because the company he worked for got bought by another company).

But when we met he told me that when he was younger, he was poor and fell in with the wrong crowd and did a lot of dumb poo poo - robbed people, sold weed, got into a lot of fights, he's been stabbed once etc. It didn't bother me because he didn't even strike me as that type of person at all. But he admitted that he used to have serious anger issues and was used to be extremely aggressive and sometimes, in his own words, psychotic. He got arrested by the police when he was and moved to England (He's eastern european, I don't really want to get too specific). Then his friend back home died while he was away and he said that made him really rethink his life. He said he then actively tried to become a better person and you wouldn't even believe, upon meeting him, that he might do that kind of stuff. The problem is it's obviously not that easy for him, over the 5 years I've seen him "crack" a couple of times and switch back to being a mean rear end in a top hat, but it's usually very brief and he feels horrible about it every single time and always apologises. Those instances are very few and far between, but they do happen. I never held it against him, everyone has bad days sometimes. Well, anyway, he got a job, made some money, put himself through university and then we met.

When we first started dating, my parents were really against him. Being brutally honest the reason was because he was a foreigner and my parents had a very bad view about "eastern europeans" and both of them said some pretty nasty things about him even before they met him. They've both apologised for it now, but I honestly always feel like they genuinely still dislike it. My mom sometimes makes these really weird comments, they're not necessarily mean or anything, but it really gives you the sense that she thinks about it a lot and she has some sort of view of him because of it.

Don't even know where to begin with this whole story.

Basically he decided to go back to his country before Christmas, to visit some friends. He flew out there and we messaged/called each other every single day throughout the day. We were both busy so we kind of didn't have time to message/call on a couple of days and then one day I woke up, thinking he would have messaged me something, but he didn't. He hadn't even seen my message prior to that. I thought he must have been hungover/asleep or maybe his phone died or something, so I just went about my day. By mid-day he still hadn't seen my message, so I tried calling him. His phone was switched off. Obviously I was a bit concerned, but I didn't put that much thought into it.

By the evening, I started messaging mutual friends seeing if they know anything about where he is and that's when I found out he had been arrested by the police and is now in jail for stabbing someone.

I honestly don't really know what happened. I talked to like 2 people, but both of them couldn't really properly explained what happened because they weren't there. Essentially what I know is that him and his friends went to some sort of event. Something happened, some sort of fight/argument, one thing led to another and then someone pulled out a knife and a bunch of people got stabbed.

My fiancee's friend got stabbed in the chest and the back and died, my fiancee apparently sliced his arm/hand and then some guy got stabbed a bunch of times (allegedly by my fiancee) and he's in the hospital right now. My fiancee went to the hospital as well, got stitches and right afterwards he was arrested by the police and is now in jail. The details are incredibly fuzzy and everything I've heard has been stuff I've heard from two people who only heard things through other people themselves, so I genuinely have no idea what happened or what's happening. Even everyone they know has been hearing conflicting accounts about what actually happened. And apparently you're not really allowed to call people, so only him, his lawyer and the one person he chose to contact (his mother) even know what's happening.

I'm absolutely destroyed. It's been a few days now and I've just been crying every single day, I can't eat, I can't sleep, obviously christmas has been absolutely ruined for my whole family. My parents are both extremely upset as well, I can almost feel the "We told you" vibe going off of them. I have absolutely no idea what to do. He's in jail, but I don't know what happened or how it happened or anything. He apparently called his mother, but she doesn't speak English so I can't contact her to ask. I don't know what to do. I am absolutely lost and devastated, it's been over a week now and I still don't know what happened or what to do. I feel like my life is falling apart right now. Since he doesn't have a citizenship, this might potentially mean that he might be unable to come live here again. I don't know what this means for our relationship and I'm in absolute shock and don't know what to do. I knew his friend that died as well, I've met him a couple of times and he seemed like a nice guy, the whole thing is just so shocking and bizzare I'm completely lost.

This might be completely all over the place and I'm sorry if it's unreadable. I'm just absolutely devasted. Can you guys just give me some guidance/advice on what to do?

tl;dr: Boyfriend is in prison in a foreign country for allegedly stabbing someone. One of his friends died. I have no way of contacting him and I don't know what to do. I am so sad I honestly don't know what to even do with myself

webmeister posted:

Remember that most of the abuse stories tend to describe the partner as "perfect person in every respect, except for the time he flipped out over a tiny thing and threw me through a window"

Gaunab posted:

Here's something better suited for the grimdark reality you crave

Gaunab posted:

Here's something better suited for the grimdark reality you crave

Gaunab posted:

Here's something better suited for the grimdark reality you crave

WampaLord posted:

So fake, I bet this was written up by the girl while she masturbated.

...

How is calling poo poo fake fun?

quote:

My [28F] son [2M] name is Bray. My husband [30M] keeps telling him his name is Goku and it's starting to confuse him.Non-Romantic
submitted 27 minutes ago by Confusingnamez
My stupid husband keeps telling our son his name is Goku. He wanted to name him Goku when he was born. I was OK with it at first until I heard he was an anime character. He keeps telling our son Bray is not his name and Goku is his name. So he is just confused and I need some help
TL;DR: Husband is being an idiot.

Pick posted:

quote:

I'm [31F] kind of upset about what my BF [34M] of 8 months got me for Christmas. Not sure how to approach it or what to say....if anything.[new]
submitted 43 minutes ago by muchdisappoint
So to start this out, I love Christmas. My bf does not. He says he hates it, blah blah, whatever.
Anyways, this is our first Christmas together so I really wanted it to be special. So we hadn't actually talked about a budget for each other's gifts, but a month ago there was something pretty big that he wanted so he asked me for half the cash (almost $300) then so that he could go ahead and order it. He said that could be my Christmas gift to him. So I agreed, gave him the cash and then I picked up a few small things here and there for him to have something to open on Christmas day from me.
Well, I keep asking him what he's going to get me and he keeps telling me it's a surprise. That he things I will like what he is planning, etc. During this I also pointed out some small things here and there I liked in case he needed any other ideas. He mentioned one thing that I have been wanting and he was thinking about getting me (around $250) so I thought we were on the same page for gifts....
He tells me a week before Christmas that he was working on a deal for my gift and he hoped it happened otherwise he would have to go last minute shopping.
Well the day before Christmas Eve I know he was at the mall because he told me he was shopping. I saw him that night and he was showing me the stuff he bought himself and telling me what he got his parents. He said that the deal for my gift fell through (craigslist deal that didn't work out) so he got me something but he didn't spend as much as he had planned on but he would take me out somewhere nice later. But he said I'll really like what he got me and he's excited about it.
So anyways, we go to Christmas at his parent's. They already know about the cash I gave him. Then I had all the other gifts for him. We are doing our gift exchange and he pushes his present to me "open mine first" all excited. And I was going to save it for last because I'm weird like that. I figured it would be like saving the best for last.
Well, it wasn't. When I first opened the box there was this huge piece of candy. Ok, that's cool, I got him some candy too for his stocking. I pull it out and there's something underneath. It's something I had pointed out I wanted in the "small" category because it was on sale for $24 and it's one of those things that I could buy myself anytime but just hadn't gotten around to it.
And that was it.........that's all he got me. All told, I spent almost $400 on him. Amost $300 of that was him specifically asking me for cash for his Christmas gift. And he spent MAYBE $35. His dad even said something in front of everyone "Ummm...you keep opening gifts from her and that's all you got her?".
I was crushed. Honestly, crushed. I really considered getting up and leaving right then and there. I was almost in tears. It's not even the money thing, it's just the fact that he put so little effort into it. He even got his mom something I had said I wanted. He said "Well, I couldn't get you both the same gift". Uhhh...yea, you could have gotten me one of those along with what you got me and I would have been a lot happier.....
He kept on for the next two days "I feel so bad that I asked you for that cash and I didn't get you much". "I feel bad that I didn't get you anything nice". "I felt bad for asking you for that cash after you gave it to me". And I really haven't said anything to him at all, either way. I just kind of walk away or change the subject. I can't figure out a way to tell him how hurt I am without sounding like an rear end in a top hat. But I am hurt. I put a lot of thought and effort into the other gifts that I gave him and he got me nothing, basically.
Now, he did say later that he would buy me his original idea for me when he got some cash "because I wasn't able to get you anything nice for Christmas". But to me it feels like it's a bit of lip service.
To be fair though, he does get me small gifts fairly often throughout the year, but they are more things that he trades because he does a lot of buying, selling and trading of memorabillia in a hobby we share.
I joked in November that something he gave me could be my Christmas gift and he said no, he was going to buy me something else. Then after we exchanged presents and stuff, he made the comment "Well you've had 4 months of Christmas with all the stuff I've given you". So that made me a little irritated. I'm also shocked because he isn't like this. My Birthday was awesome. He really went above and beyond for my gift then. He's normally a really thoughtful and caring guy and maybe that's what makes this even harder to understand. He treats me great any other time. And I think this is why it's hard for me to vocalize my feelings to him about how I feel about all of this. Because this is really the first complaint I've had about him since we have been dating. After the assholes I have been dating up until him, it almost seems petty to say "My boyfriend who would never cheat on me and who loves me didn't spend enough on me for Christmas". But it's more of I feel like I wasn't important enough for him to make an effort to do something semi-nice for me when he asked me to fork out a large sum of cash for him. If he had said "Let's put a cap of $50 on Christmas" I would have happily agreed.
tl;dr: BF asked me for a big item for Christmas early, I gave it to him then he barely got me anything at all.

quote:

My boyfriend [22M] doesn't like the fact that I [18F] write in my diary in my native language. He thinks I'm trying to hide something from him.Relationships
submitted 50 minutes ago by bilinguality
My BF and I have dated for 2 years and I've known him for 3. We are both British, however I immigrated to the UK from Russia when I was young and he is ethnically English. Russian is my native language and I try to practice it as much as possible so I don't forget it.
I write some parts of my diary in Russian. My boyfriend didn't know this until yesterday when he saw me writing in it. He was peeking over my shoulder and was like, "What are you writing?" I just replied "stuff" and he jokingly said, "Don't tell me you're some kinda secret spy." I was like haha very funny. Then he became more serious and asked me to tell him what I was really writing. I said that I was just writing about my day, how we went shopping, etc.
For some reason he got really bothered by it and asked me why I don't write in my diary in English. He asked, "Are you trying to hide stuff from me?" I was like, of course not, I just like to practice writing in Russian so I don't forget it. And then he said, "Why? You're in the UK now, why can't you just write in English?" I told him that it was still an important part of my identity and that it's my own diary and I could write whatever I want in it.
He let the subject go but before changing the conversation he was like, "Whatever, just try to write in English from now on."
???? I'm confused as to why it's such a big deal for him. Maybe he wants to read my diary? But this is not the first time the topic has come up. Once when I was talking to my brother in Russian, my boyfriend asked me to translate once I had hung up. I told him what he had said and he got all skeptical and was like, "Really? Why can't you speak to him in English? Doesn't he know English?" And another time, I was showing him pictures of me as a kid in Russia, and he commented, "You must be glad you got out of that shithole country". I got quite offended at that and in the end he apologized.
Otherwise, our relationship has been great so far, not a lot of problems except for the fact that he can get somewhat "clingy" at times. For example he always wants to know where I am, and he wants to spend as much time with me as possibly can. I don't mind at all, but this incident has got me rather concerned. Should this be a warning sign that he's getting a bit too controlling? Or am I overreacting?
TL;DR: I speak English fluently but my native language is Russian. My bf saw me writing in my diary in Russian and he got all paranoid and accused me of hiding something from him. I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of it.

quote:

I [24f] recently got enagaged to my boyfriend [27m] of 2 years, he described me as "submissive" today and it's bothering me more than seems necessary. Should I bring it up with him?Relationships
submitted an hour ago * by Foreverandaway
He announced our engagement at a post Christmas brunch with our friends. After congratulating us hIs friends were teasing him about having said he'd never get married in the past. My boyfriend replied "Well I never thought I'd find beautiful, submissive woman. Don't settle for less brother, it isn't worth it." He then put his arm around me and changed the subject.
I wouldn't describe myself as submissive. Yes, I'm easy-going and not too particular. I do go out of my way to make him happy but that's what you're supposed to do for someone you love. I am somewhat shy and prefer to let him take the lead around strangers because he's naturally outgoing. I can't think of anything else that would outright give him the idea I'm submissive. I don't shy away from disagreeing with him when it's important to me or ask his permission to do things.
After we arrived home, while walking up the drive I asked him what he meant by submissive because I would never have thought to describe myself that way. He replied by saying "Obviously not since you're picking a fight about me complimenting you." I told him I wasn't picking a fight I just wanted us going into marriage with clear expectations of each other as he responded "I expect you to not ruin a good night because you're feeling insecure. Take a minute to clear your head and adjust your attitude before you come inside."
I said ok because I really did want a minute to handle how I was feeling about what he was saying. I sat down on the porch and he continued inside and locked the door behind him.
I was bothered by that, he doesn't usually lock the door until just before bed and I didn't have my keys. I'm not sure if it was intentional or he was distracted thinking about what I said and forgot I didn't have a key. It just gave me a weird feeling when I ended up having to knock to be let back in.
It's been niggling at me and I'm not sure if I should take it seriously or not. I'm starting to feel that maybe we haven't known each other long enough yet and should have a few more conversations before setting a date. Just to make sure everything is clearly aired out between us. But maybe I'm just experiencing normal cold feet?
tl;dr: My boyfriend described me as submissive and didn't want to explain what he meant. Am I reading too much into him using a single word or should I push the issue?

SnoozeOrder posted:

That poor Russian girl, her boyfriend sounds like a control freak and she can't seem to see it.

Pick posted:

Can we get a combined sever/murder

quote:

He wanted to name him Goku when he was born. I was OK with it at first until I heard he was an anime character.

quote:

Dated girl (20F) for a day, told me (20M) she wasn't ready for a relationship, a month later she is dating another guy.[new]
submitted an hour ago by theshockwave4
Hello everyone,
So I messaged a girl 2 months ago who I went to high school with. I tried texting her last year but she had a bf. I wait until a month or two after I notice they break up. We see each other for about a month and I asked her out to which she said yes. The next day she becomes upset and says stuff like "I'm afraid of hurting people or being hurt" and "I feel like I pressured you into asking me out" and says she was not ready for a relationship just yet. We talk about it and I decide that I should give her space. We remained friends on Snapchat and Instagram.
Well a week after this, I noticed on her snap story she is hanging with a guy. Every week or so she posted a snap of them. I begin to worry a little bit so I ask her if she stopped it between us to see this guy. She says, "I stopped it between us because I wasn't ready and I didn't know what I wanted. He has been my friend all through college and picks me up when I'm down." Nothing she said told me that she was dating him. I let it go because she told me they were friends but two days later she posts a picture of them together on her snapchat story with the caption "Proud girlfriend". I become very upset and I chew her out. She says "this didn't happen when we were talking. I can't explain it and I don't expect you to understand, but God has a plan for everything. If you hate me that much delete my number and unfollow me." I chew her out which was a mistake because she stopped replying. This was the Friday before Christmas Eve.
I didn't view her snapchat story of her and her dad on Christmas eve because I wanted to let her know I was still thinking about her. This was not the right move because she didn't view my story when I put it up hours later and she deleted me that night on sc.
I wait til the day after Christmas to text her. Being the coward that I am I apologized to her for losing my cool. I don't get a response. She's blowing me off. I call her, she lets it go to voicemail. I never get a response. This was messing with my head. I send her one last text that explains I waited for her and I finally got a chance but let her have space because she said she wasn't ready, and I can't wait for her anymore after this, and I said goodbye to her and wished her well. I wasn't expecting a response to this and I didn't get one, but I saw she saw my message.
I honestly don't know what to think. I hope that she realizes that she could have had a chance with me but now it's gone. I'm also thinking there was another reason why she stopped it between us, something she's not telling me.
I'm not expecting any response from her. It's over. I just want to hear from you guys, do you think she will miss having me in her life? I mean she still follows me on Instagram.
TL;DR: Saw a girl for a month, ask her out, says she's not ready, weeks later is dating another guy, what should I expect to happen in the future?

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

And the duh post for duuhhh goes to

54 40 or gently caress posted:

He's not sorry at all, if he was sorry he wouldn't have done it in the first place. Now he thinks if he acts sad and pathetic enough it'll make it better and that Christmas will forever have that stain on it for her.

quote:

My wife [30F] of 6 years is disappointed in how I [31M] handled Christmas.[new]
submitted 20 minutes ago by pokemaster919
My wife is currently 31 weeks pregnant with our first child, so I can't tell if she's just being hormonal/irrational or if I've legitimately hosed up.
My wife works from home (she makes and sells baked goods and candies at farmers' markets and to small local shops), and I am the primary breadwinner. I work about 50 hours a week, but I had some extra time off around the Christmas holiday. My wife is also Jewish, and I come from a Christian background (I am not religious myself). She has no living family, so we usually just celebrate Christmas with my family and she lights a menorah at home by herself. Once our daughter is born, she intends to include her in Jewish traditions as well as Christian, which is fine with me, but for now she has no one to celebrate them with. I think that's part of why she's sad.
In lieu of our buying gifts for my extended family, my wife usually makes boxes of cookies, candies, and other assorted treats from scratch. It takes her about two weeks and many hours of labor to prepare these, and as she is a talented baker, they are a big hit in my family. She also bakes all the desserts for my family's Christmas dinner. My extended family is quite large (30+ people), so that plus her normal holiday baking workload can leave her feeling quite overwhelmed around the holidays. This being our last year as a childfree couple, she really outdid herself. These gift boxes were really impressive. She also bought additional gifts for my immediate family and for me, which were very thoughtful and budget-friendly.
Since I was at work in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I did not have time to contribute as much as I would have liked. I did accompany my wife to the store for supplies and helped her with dishes, as well as paying for all the supplies and gifts, including my own present (we have a joint account, but I make the majority of our income). As I saw it, her ability to provide these gifts was my gift to her, as I paid for it all.
Admittedly, I've never been a great gift-buyer. I used to buy her gifts for holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, but the last gift I bought my wife was for Christmas two years ago. She could not afford to buy me anything that year (she did bake me a cake instead, which was nice), so I thought we were done with the gift-exchange thing. She's given me suggestions for stuff she would want, but I just don't feel it's necessary considering she doesn't always buy presents for me, and even when she does, I'm paying. I usually don't want any gifts, so she bakes me cakes and special dinners on those occasions, and only buys a gift if there's something she knows I want/need that we can afford. She hasn't seemed too bothered by not receiving an additional gift...until now. I'm grateful that she put this much work into gifts for me and my family, but since I contributed financially, I didn't think she'd need another gift for herself. Apparently I was wrong, and she has told me that she feels a bit sad and disappointed. She's said she hopes that I'll take advantage of the remaining days of Hanukkah and buy her a gift, but I'm not sure if that's fair to me to have to spend even more money on her for the holidays. I also do not celebrate Hanukkah myself.
She says she's also upset because I didn't spend much time with her during my days off from work. I was off for five days for the holidays, and she was busy baking for the first three. I did help, as I said, but I also did spend a little too much time gaming online with my friends. I took her out to lunch yesterday, but apparently that wasn't enough and she wanted more out of our "last Christmas alone together." We don't really go on dates or anything, so I'm not sure why she suddenly wants to now. I need time for myself, too, but I think she's trying to make this all about her. She's usually really cheerful, but has been crying and withdrawn since we talked about all this.
Is she being too demanding, or have I done something wrong I'm not seeing? As I said, she usually doesn't care about getting presents and going on dates, but she seems really unhappy and I don't know how to snap her out of it. Is it just a pregnancy thing?
TL;DR: My wife wants me to spend more money on her for Christmas. I already shelled out for the entire family and don't see a need. Which of us is in the right?

quote:

as I saw it, her ability to provide those gifts was my gift to her

Pick posted:

And now for an eastern european getting the sorry end of the stick

Pick posted:

And the duh post for duuhhh goes to

Pick posted:

My [28F] son [2M] name is Bray. My husband [30M] keeps telling him his name is Goku and it's starting to confuse him.

rear end in a top hat redditor posted:

As I saw it, her ability to provide these gifts was my gift to her, as I paid for it all.

Pick posted:

Take a minute to clear your head and adjust your attitude before you come inside."