Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

JcDent posted:

You pour a couldron of lye on a petard crew about to blow your gate and the wind/moat carries the lye towards a group of nuns or something.

Actually just Magdeburg.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 17:50

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# ? May 18, 2024 14:00

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

JcDent posted:

You pour a couldron of lye on a petard crew about to blow your gate and the wind/moat carries the lye towards a group of nuns or something.

You pour boiling oil over the walls onto the invaders, only to discover too late that a wagon of fleeing women and children are rushing through the gate at that very moment.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 17:54

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

You accidentally use the square bullets with the puckle gun on enemies whose religious affiliation is uncertain.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 18:14

Kemper Boyd: Aug 6, 2007; no kings, no gods, no masters but a comfy chair and no socks

lenoon posted:

Surely the Vikings TV series isn't historically accurate because it's talking about possibly entirely mythical Ragnar Lodbrok? Like it should be a mythical saga, he was a saga kind of guy.

There's levels to historical accuracy. Such as the picture that Rome paints of Roman culture and society, it is very accurate based on what we know about Rome. It doesn't matter that Pullo and Vorenus weren't probably around for most of what happened.

Vikings has this weird thing going on where some of the stuff in the series is very accurate, and then they drop historical accuracy for the next scene for dramatic purposes. For instance, the scene in the first episode where the two dudes show up at Ragnars and Lagerthas house and she tells them that there's water and food if they want, otherwise they can gently caress off: very much an accurate representation of how the duty of hospitality worked in early medieval Scandinavia.

Then again, the next scene where the Jarl, played by Gabriel Byrne, condemns a guy to death for reasons. They didn't have the death penalty. Likewise, Byrnes Jarl is presented a lot like a late medieval king or something. He's the Jarl because people have confidence in his leadership, he can't actually tell people that they have to do what he says for most of the time.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 18:41

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

SeanBeansShako posted:

Also, I guess heated shot for the naval situation but then if your unlucky enough to be hit by a roundshot already it being incedibly hot is the least of your problems.

How does this work? I have a hard time picturing how you'd warm up a cannonball enough to be a fire hazard to a ship yet safely handle it.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 18:48

turn it up TURN ME ON: Mar 19, 2012; In the Grim Darkness of the Future, there is only war.

...and delicious ice cream.

I spent my entire childhood theorycrafting why the Empire was actually cool and good.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 18:52

TerminalSaint: Apr 21, 2007; Where must we go...

we who wander this Wasteland in search of our better selves?

Kemper Boyd posted:

There's levels to historical accuracy. Such as the picture that Rome paints of Roman culture and society, it is very accurate based on what we know about Rome. It doesn't matter that Pullo and Vorenus weren't probably around for most of what happened.

Vikings has this weird thing going on where some of the stuff in the series is very accurate, and then they drop historical accuracy for the next scene for dramatic purposes. For instance, the scene in the first episode where the two dudes show up at Ragnars and Lagerthas house and she tells them that there's water and food if they want, otherwise they can gently caress off: very much an accurate representation of how the duty of hospitality worked in early medieval Scandinavia.

Then again, the next scene where the Jarl, played by Gabriel Byrne, condemns a guy to death for reasons. They didn't have the death penalty. Likewise, Byrnes Jarl is presented a lot like a late medieval king or something. He's the Jarl because people have confidence in his leadership, he can't actually tell people that they have to do what he says for most of the time.

I got unreasonably upset when I saw Floki building a ship frame first.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:01

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Pornographic Memory posted:

How does this work? I have a hard time picturing how you'd warm up a cannonball enough to be a fire hazard to a ship yet safely handle it.

tongs

SoggyBobcat posted:

What's the seventeenth century equivalent to white phosphorous?

your presence

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:01

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

TerminalSaint posted:

I got unreasonably upset when I saw Floki building a ship frame first.

Is that not how you do it? Or do you build a drydock-esque frame for it first?

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:04

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

PittTheElder posted:

Is that not how you do it? Or do you build a drydock-esque frame for it first?

they're clinker built, the frame goes in after the shell is completed, and the shell is made by lapping bent pieces of wood over each other and riveting them into place

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:06

Perestroika: Apr 8, 2010

Pornographic Memory posted:

How does this work? I have a hard time picturing how you'd warm up a cannonball enough to be a fire hazard to a ship yet safely handle it.

I remember reading somewhere that they'd use an additional wad that had been soaked with water between the powder and the ball. That would give you enough time to load the ball and aim the whole thing without the heated ball setting off the powder right away.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:14

BalloonFish: Jun 30, 2013; Fun Shoe

Pornographic Memory posted:

How does this work? I have a hard time picturing how you'd warm up a cannonball enough to be a fire hazard to a ship yet safely handle it.

Heat it up in a fire (a forge was best because they were partially enclosed and had good draft) and then use tongs and clamps to carry it to the gun and load it. Careful sponging of the bore ensured there were no loose grains of powder from the previous shot and wadding prevented the heated ball from burning through the powder bag and setting off the charge.

It's not that difficult but heated shot was used mainly by shore batteries against ships rather than ship-on-ship. All fires and unneccesary lamps were put out when a ship went into action because of the risk of sparks setting off a fire or sparking some loose powder, so using heated shot on-board was at best a calculated risk.

efb, by HEY GAL and Perestroika

# ? Dec 27, 2016 19:18

Animal: Apr 8, 2003

HEY GAL posted:

tongs

your presence

somebody has a case of the hangovers. just get right back to the hair of the dog that bit you, as your dudes would.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 20:24

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Perestroika posted:

I remember reading somewhere that they'd use an additional wad that had been soaked with water between the powder and the ball. That would give you enough time to load the ball and aim the whole thing without the heated ball setting off the powder right away.

Like HEY GAL said, tongs and a really big furnace. It's not exactly 100% efficient and depends how well the barrel of the gun is cast, If the artillery piece is really lovely it will gently caress the barrel up from cracking it to even exploding if you are really unlucky. If the artillery piece is well well casted siege level a a few balls will be shot before it will need cooling time.

The aim of the shot is that a few pieces will be doing it, multiple fires on board a wooden sailing ship is a horrible horrible nightmare with the worst case scenario always being the hot roundshot somehow finds it's way into the powder magazine.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 20:47

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

turn it up TURN ME ON posted:

I spent my entire childhood theorycrafting why the Empire was actually cool and good.

Playing TIE fighter makes it tempting to do that. Unfortunately all those theories fall apart once you acknowledge the guy at the top of the org chart who is an evil wizard that shoots lightning out of his hands

. I never figured out a way to get around it

# ? Dec 27, 2016 20:48

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; Can't post for 48 minutes!

Ainsley McTree posted:

Playing TIE fighter makes it tempting to do that. Unfortunately all those theories fall apart once you acknowledge the guy at the top of the org chart who is an evil wizard that shoots lightning out of his hands . I never figured out a way to get around it

It's a sadly common problem in fiction: the bad guys tend to have so much more style and moxie than the good guys.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 20:50

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Kemper Boyd posted:

There's levels to historical accuracy. Such as the picture that Rome paints of Roman culture and society, it is very accurate based on what we know about Rome. It doesn't matter that Pullo and Vorenus weren't probably around for most of what happened.

Vikings has this weird thing going on where some of the stuff in the series is very accurate, and then they drop historical accuracy for the next scene for dramatic purposes. For instance, the scene in the first episode where the two dudes show up at Ragnars and Lagerthas house and she tells them that there's water and food if they want, otherwise they can gently caress off: very much an accurate representation of how the duty of hospitality worked in early medieval Scandinavia.

Then again, the next scene where the Jarl, played by Gabriel Byrne, condemns a guy to death for reasons. They didn't have the death penalty. Likewise, Byrnes Jarl is presented a lot like a late medieval king or something. He's the Jarl because people have confidence in his leadership, he can't actually tell people that they have to do what he says for most of the time.

Also doesn't Ragnar fall more into quasi-mythical than straight up mythical? I thought he was one of those cases where there are a lot of things that are clearly mystical / mythical / exaggerated / etc about him, but there's also probably a real person (or persons) somewhere at the core of all that.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 20:51

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Ainsley McTree posted:

Playing TIE fighter makes it tempting to do that. Unfortunately all those theories fall apart once you acknowledge the guy at the top of the org chart who is an evil wizard that shoots lightning out of his hands . I never figured out a way to get around it

ITYM a democratically elected head of state with a bad skin condition and a few eccentric hobbies

# ? Dec 27, 2016 21:30

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Cyrano4747 posted:

Also doesn't Ragnar fall more into quasi-mythical than straight up mythical? I thought he was one of those cases where there are a lot of things that are clearly mystical / mythical / exaggerated / etc about him, but there's also probably a real person (or persons) somewhere at the core of all that.

We can't prove he exists, and he comes mostly from sagas. That said, he is said to be the father of a number of actual, factual historical dudes, including: Bj�rn Ironside, Halfdan, Hvids�rk, Ivar Boneless, Sigurd Snake-in-the-Eye and Ubbe.

Some say he's the son of Sigurd Hring, but Hring is also mythical, so apart from his kids we don't have much tying him to (non-legendary) history.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 21:49

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Cythereal posted:

It's a sadly common problem in fiction: the bad guys tend to have so much more style and moxie than the good guys.

Darth Vader is pretty much peak this. The way he just murders underling after underling in Empire never fails to make me laugh.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 22:15

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; Can't post for 48 minutes!

Nebakenezzer posted:

Darth Vader is pretty much peak this. The way he just murders underling after underling in Empire never fails to make me laugh.

As a kid I always wanted to root for the Empire because they're the ones with the giant badass starships.

# ? Dec 27, 2016 22:17

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Are there any notable successful military leaders with a predilection for personally murdering underlings?

# ? Dec 27, 2016 22:42

Xerxes17: Feb 17, 2011

Fangz posted:

Are there any notable successful military leaders with a predilection for personally murdering underlings?

Well if you exclude the "personally" bit, Stalin I guess?

# ? Dec 27, 2016 23:21

Ice Fist: Jun 20, 2012; ^^ Please send feedback to beefstache911@hotmail.com, this is not a joke that 'stache is the real deal. Serious assessments only. ^^

Nebakenezzer posted:

Darth Vader is pretty much peak this. The way he just murders underling after underling in Empire never fails to make me laugh.

Apology accepted Captain Needa. *signals two random guards to drag the body away* :black101:

# ? Dec 27, 2016 23:33

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Cythereal posted:

As a kid I always wanted to root for the Empire because they're the ones with the giant badass starships.

Me too but then I'm British :sun:

# ? Dec 28, 2016 00:34

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Kemper Boyd posted:

There's levels to historical accuracy. Such as the picture that Rome paints of Roman culture and society, it is very accurate based on what we know about Rome. It doesn't matter that Pullo and Vorenus weren't probably around for most of what happened.

Vikings has this weird thing going on where some of the stuff in the series is very accurate, and then they drop historical accuracy for the next scene for dramatic purposes. For instance, the scene in the first episode where the two dudes show up at Ragnars and Lagerthas house and she tells them that there's water and food if they want, otherwise they can gently caress off: very much an accurate representation of how the duty of hospitality worked in early medieval Scandinavia.

Then again, the next scene where the Jarl, played by Gabriel Byrne, condemns a guy to death for reasons. They didn't have the death penalty. Likewise, Byrnes Jarl is presented a lot like a late medieval king or something. He's the Jarl because people have confidence in his leadership, he can't actually tell people that they have to do what he says for most of the time.

Also the bit where they talk about Britain as some impossibly distant possibly mythical land. Bitch on a clear day you can see it from NORMANdy with your naked eye.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 00:43

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; Can't post for 48 minutes!

feedmegin posted:

Me too but then I'm British

I'm American. We've got bigger than you. Much bigger. :gop:

# ? Dec 28, 2016 00:58

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

feedmegin posted:

Also the bit where they talk about Britain as some impossibly distant possibly mythical land. Bitch on a clear day you can see it from NORMANdy with your naked eye.

Well it wasn't called Normandy yet.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 01:00

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

Cythereal posted:

As a kid I always wanted to root for the Empire because they're the ones with the giant badass starships.

Lot of imperial fascists itt.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 01:05

Mantis42: Jul 26, 2010

Of course I have always rooted for the Empire. Who else to keep the church Catholic and Vienna out of the hands of the vile Turk?

# ? Dec 28, 2016 01:14

ulmont: Sep 15, 2010; IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

Splode posted:

Lot of imperial fascists itt.

Any excuse for more Hugo Boss uniforms.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 01:21

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Those First Order guys in the 1st Film of the new ones seem to be the ones getting the Hugo Boss treatment now. The hats the Empire officers seem to wear more or less look like the KuK forage caps from the 1st World War.

Xerxes17 posted:

Well if you exclude the "personally" bit, Stalin I guess?

Remember he was a bandit and fought in the Russian Civil War. I can actually see young Stalin happily pulling a mauser and wasting his own dudes/White Army guys.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 01:32

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Ainsley McTree posted:

Playing TIE fighter makes it tempting to do that. Unfortunately all those theories fall apart once you acknowledge the guy at the top of the org chart who is an evil wizard that shoots lightning out of his hands . I never figured out a way to get around it

The movies are obviously propaganda pieces, the pro alliance slant is blatant.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 02:12

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

If you're a civilian in Star Wars between the end of the Clone Wars and the battle of Yavin, odds are you're part of the Empire, paying taxes and such, or else . If you want to escape their control, you've either got to try your luck in the dangers of the outer rim or the criminal underworld. Fascism is harsh and all, but the rule of law still has its advantages.

Even if you want to take up ~~the sword~~ arms against your oppressor, your odds aren't great. You'd have to find the rebellion before you can get involved, otherwise you're just randomly slinging ~~pipe bombs~~ thermal detonators. I can't imagine the rebels going to high schools and passing out ~~pamphlets~~ datapads. And even if you find them, they're not very likely to give you any training beyond showing you which end of a blaster to point before slapping a helmet on you and sending you off to fight the good fight, so you're probably better off trying to do something like say, go through the imperial academy and defecting (like a lot of rebels did themselves).

So long story short, even if you despise your government and those in charge of it, you're probably stuck working with it one way or another.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 02:20

Mantis42: Jul 26, 2010

FrozenVent posted:

The movies are obviously propaganda pieces, the pro alliance slant is blatant.

The filmmaker's bias was really obvious when it portrayed regular Stormtroopers killing Sand People and innocent moisture farmers in cold blood. I mean, sure, the Sith or Grand Moffs I could see, but the average Stormtroopers didn't care at all about Palpatine or politics and simply fought to protect his empire from what he thought was radical terrorists.

Plus an At-At being taken down by a Snowspeeder?

# ? Dec 28, 2016 02:37

bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w574XSFPFkk

I dunno if this has been posted yet but I dont know what is going on here

# ? Dec 28, 2016 03:02

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

SeanBeansShako posted:

Those First Order guys in the 1st Film of the new ones seem to be the ones getting the Hugo Boss treatment now. The hats the Empire officers seem to wear more or less look like the KuK forage caps from the 1st World War.

Remember he was a bandit and fought in the Russian Civil War. I can actually see young Stalin happily pulling a mauser and wasting his own dudes/White Army guys.

Bit more than 'fought in', he was one of the leaders. There's a reason Stalingrad specifically got his name on it.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 03:06

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Hell yeah Panthers getting messed up I am interested.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 03:10

Polikarpov: Jun 1, 2013; Keep it between the buoys

bewbies posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w574XSFPFkk

I dunno if this has been posted yet but I dont know what is going on here

I have no idea but its going to make wehraboos extremely angry.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 03:29

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# ? May 18, 2024 14:00

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

bewbies posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w574XSFPFkk

I dunno if this has been posted yet but I dont know what is going on here

Soviet Fury? I'd watch

# ? Dec 28, 2016 03:39

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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