FactsAreUseless posted:

That's what you get... when you mess with the Big Dog!

Machai posted:

is this a chewbacca joke?

FactsAreUseless posted:

Canis Majoris

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Not to be confused with his mother, Anus Majoris

Solice Kirsk posted:

I'd say it's fake, but I've seen too many ancient cum spattered objects in my day. I think I need a little break.

Trig Discipline posted:

Oh yeah, wish your mom a merry christmas for me.

cinci zoo sniper posted:

Prepare Debbie Reynolds memes.

Popelmon posted:

I guess she didn't want to Carrie on.

PleasingFungus posted:

I'm sure I've asked for this one before, but I can't find it: does anyone have the quote about the jock and the non-jock in the retirement home? The non-jock travels the world, romances beautiful women, learns to play grandmaster chess; the jock lifts steadily more weight... something about 'musk' and needles underfoot.

quote:

Gym it up dude. Reach the pinnacle of ancient Greek physical perfection while having your nostrils invaded by garlicky male testosterone musk. Immerse yourself amongst the dudes and bros sweating and grunting, trudging heavy things around in time with the sounds of Hoobastank and Scott Stapp. Admire the Rorschach patterns of ball-sweat on the weight bench you're about to wipe down and use and be sure to wear appropriate protective footwear in the men's locker room to keep the fungus, AIDS, and used steroid needles at bay.

As others learn a trade, analyze chapters of Ulysses, make friends, travel, and have adventures, you'll be slightly improving your ability to lift things. One week it will be 185 and the next week it will be 190. With luck you'll be at 230 by the end of the year.

One day you will sit in a recliner in the Bristol Palin Home for the Uselessly Old in Rubtsovsk, Siberia, next to another man who will tell tales of his time as a minor but notable grafitti artist in Prague, his passionate relationship with an Italian socialite that ended in a swordfight, and his later years as a writing consultant to a TV crime drama series that centered around an Aspergian super-sleuth. And you will think to yourself, I can lift that man.

Horror_Business posted:

This? I lost the source...

Horror_Business posted:

This? I lost the source...

Horror_Business posted:

If I remember correctly, it was someone in E/N making fun of everyone always suggesting working out when the OP had depression. I love lifting weights and found it to be hilarious.

Dreddout posted:

"Weekly Cracker Barrel Dinner for One" is up there with "Baby shoes never worn"

Doc Hawkins posted:

I lift in order to die outside of retirement homes and hospitals, but agreed the post has some poetry to it.

Doc Hawkins posted:

I lift in order to die outside of retirement homes and hospitals, but agreed the post has some poetry to it.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Because they would be fit and healthy enough to care for themselves in old age.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

"Exercise does nothing for you and here are some notions I have"
-Signed, A Idiot

Solice Kirsk posted:

While I agree with some of that, mostly that disease can gently caress you up in old age even if you're active and healthy, how would being in good shape while you're younger hinder you in your advanced years?

Jeza posted:

all dementia patients will be very swole, and communicate almost entirely in memes they shared on the internet in their teens and twenties, much like how current ones constantly sing the greatest hits on the wireless from the 30s

Cindy Shitbird posted:

Imagine a swole dementia patient, wandering away from the nursing home, lifting things at random as he goes.

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

The real tragedy is that he can't remember when leg day is.

FactsAreUseless posted:

FOR poo poo'S SAKE, SOMEONE TELL ME HOW EXERCISE TO BE

FactsAreUseless posted:

FOR poo poo'S SAKE, SOMEONE TELL ME HOW EXERCISE TO BE

FactsAreUseless posted:

FOR poo poo'S SAKE, SOMEONE TELL ME HOW EXERCISE TO BE

TrixRabbi posted:

David was a blackstar who went through changes
But he didn't tell a soul he had terminal cancer
Prince was popping fentanyl, he thought couldn't go
Then he OD'd in an elevator
Leonard went quietly, 82 years old
He knew it was his time when he died
He was a friend of mine

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
We were all their fans, and they died

Muhammad and Gene saw their health go rotten
So they died of brain problems at home in their mansions
Fidel in Havana went peacefully in bed
Scalia stopped breathing with a pillow on his head
They were two more people who lied
I can't really say I'm sad that they died

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
We were all their fans, and they died

Anton had a car they said it was a trap
The company had it recalled but he didn't act fast
He said, hey, I know it's dangerous,
But I'll fix it soon
But the next day he got crushed
By the car before noon

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
We were all their fans, and they died

Glenn took his last trip around the moon
Merle is finally sleeping for good in his tomb
Carrie had a heart attack on a plane to L.A.
We thought she was safe but she still passed away
And Carrie, I miss you more than all the others
I hope you Rest In Peace with your mother

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
We were all their fans, and they died

The MSJ posted: