/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I'm actually rooting for that husband to bang that sister

yeah seriously

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:29

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# ? May 14, 2024 10:06

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

mobby_6kl posted:

This is what happens when you don't make your SO sign the hoes paperwork, kids!

How are you supposed to properly fist bump if you can't even look

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:29

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

No way live in single hot lady down on her luck who is apparently horny kuz she's wearing clothes that are asking for it.. and a intamately cold wife who feels sex more than once a month is rape.

:sever:

Then hook up with younger hotter horn dog sister.

tater_salad fucked around with this message at 00:36 on Dec 29, 2016

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:32

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

tater_salad posted:

No way live in single hot lady down on her luck who is apparently horny kuz she's wearing clothes that are asking for it.. and a intamately cold wife who feels sex more than once a month is rape.

Then hook up with younger hotter horn dog sistet.

All men are rape.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:33

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

It's true

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:38

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

Mameluke posted:

[33M], my [30F] girlfriend is pregnant with another guy's kid "because she wanted her child to have the best life possible". Wants me to be the father. Don't even know how to start processing this?

Leave your unmarried girlfriend now! You're a lawyer, you know that's not how family law works! Let her raise the baby of the guy she cheated on you with!

This lady sounds like a gone girl tier psychopath

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:38

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Pearnicious posted:

It was a love between two cousins that the world thought was wrong, but it was the world that was wrong...

Les Cousins Dangereux

I watched the episode where George Michael tells Maeby they should see that like thirty minutes ago.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:39

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

tater_salad posted:

No way live in single hot lady down on her luck who is apparently horny kuz she's wearing clothes that are asking for it.. and a intamately cold wife who feels sex more than once a month is rape.

Then hook up with younger hotter horn dog sister.

She wasn't saying sex more than once a month is rape, she was saying sex that she didn't consent to/was pressured into was rape. Which is correct. The woman clearly has issues but she's not wrong about this one.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:43

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

No I get it but :drat:

once a month is a bit infrequent and there are other issues going on here that are in play. If I was with someone who made that their stipulation I'd probably :sever:

.

All sex is rape, or Prostitution.

What I've learned from /r/relationships.

Women don't like sex, they hate it but they do it to make men want to buy them things, or give them crotchfruit so they can talk about how great of a mombie they are (unless the man is generically inferior then voluntary donation through vaginal sex is allowed). Also mombies can have them ask strangers they don't know to taste their pootine (Because eating a strangers food at a young age is acceptable). Women use sex as a way to get free meals as dates then they continue to ramp it up until marriage, once that happens they set an agreement that will make the man somewhat happy to which they will continue to suckle off the teet of men's wallet all while living rent free. Presents shall be given agreed upon values from separate accounts, if you can not afford it sex can be used to receive money to purchase gifts. If gift giving is unequal by more than $15 of researched internet pricing then one must throw a fit and demand that sex be taken off the table for 1 session of agreed upon fornication payment.

Men area also allowed to have as many Thai side pieces as possible, but no white women, women are not allowed to partake in extra sex time because basically they are being raped as it's not for financial gain, also unless the primary provider is given sufficient financial compensation for the use of his woman's currency then this is considered cheating (Unless they are into berth el pupping).

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:44

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

My [25 M] girlfriend [25 F] of almost two years slapped me in the middle of a wedding because I was chatting with another woman (it was my friend's girlfriend).

quote:

Excuse my bad english, it is not my first language. And sorry for the long post.

Backstory: I have been together with Cinthya for almost two years. I met her in a Hackaton at University, because of the hackaton we started developing a startup from scratch for two years since the time we met, and having relationship for one year and eight months.

The first year on the relationship I had with her was amazing, we were really happy, after that we started having some communication problems, with fights regarding the startup and us being more frequent, even having a big one every other day.

Like any other startup we have had some problems involving team leaving, no funds, bad outcomes, etc. In other words frustration has been around in our relationship, and since last year we have been only the two of us, and outsourcing the other people.

Around 3 months ago I decided to break up with her because I couldn't go on with all the fights and communication problems, it was awful for me, but devastating for her.

She would be mad at me for doing things like uploading instagram stories, even calling me while she was drunk asking me if I was hooking up with my male best friend (I am not gay/bisexual).

So we have had some recent good news regarding our startup, and we wanted to improve our communication, so long-short story we went back together.

Back to the story.

Last weekend we went to a wedding of a very good friend of mine, that was our first time going out since we got back together. While we where there I said to her that I needed to go to the restroom, apparently she didn't hear me so she went to the male restroom and started shouting my name.

After I finish, I went with her and asked her to not be ridiculous and to not shout my name in the restroom, telling her that's not a proper way, I was really pissed at her, I said to her that she could stay with my friends waiting while I finish.

After that we spend like 2 hours apart from each other, my friends started telling me to go to her, but I didn't wanted to play her game, so we spend time apart.

I started talking to the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and suddenly she came to me and slapped me in the face and went away, naturally I ignore her, but everybody turn to me to go to her (drama time!).

So I went to talk to her, she was crying and mad at me because I didn't talk to her for the last two hours, and that she was jealous of the girl I was talking to (apparently she didn't notice she was my friend's girlfriend because she was drunk), suddenly the party was over, so everybody was going out and passing near us watching us fighting.

Eventually we asked for a taxi and I took her to her house, when I woke up I had like 60 missed calls, and some messages, I didn't want to answer her I was really pissed, a couple hours later she arrived to my home with no notice because she wanted to talk to me, I said to her that I didn't want to talk to her now, that it was better to talk later.

I don't know what to do, I love her but I feel tired of this, and I'm thinking my relationship turned into a High School one. On top of that we are going to go to another country in mid January because of an acceleration program so we are gonna be living and working together more closely. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

tl;dr: Girlfriend of two years is insecure of me, she slapped me in a wedding because I was talking to the girlfriend of a friend of mine (she thought I was flirting to another girl).

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:50

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

Starting a business with your insecure girlfriend, great idea.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:56

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

tater_salad posted:

No I get it but once a month is a bit infrequent and there are other issues going on here that are in play. If I was with someone who made that their stipulation I'd probably .

All sex is rape, or Prostitution.

What I've learned from /r/relationships.

Women don't like sex, they hate it but they do it to make men want to buy them things, or give them crotchfruit so they can talk about how great of a mombie they are (unless the man is generically inferior then voluntary donation through vaginal sex is allowed). Also mombies can have them ask strangers they don't know to taste their pootine (Because eating a strangers food at a young age is acceptable). Women use sex as a way to get free meals as dates then they continue to ramp it up until marriage, once that happens they set an agreement that will make the man somewhat happy to which they will continue to suckle off the teet of men's wallet all while living rent free. Presents shall be given agreed upon values from separate accounts, if you can not afford it sex can be used to receive money to purchase gifts. If gift giving is unequal by more than $15 of researched internet pricing then one must throw a fit and demand that sex be taken off the table for 1 session of agreed upon fornication payment.

Men area also allowed to have as many Thai side pieces as possible, but no white women, women are not allowed to partake in extra sex time because basically they are being raped as it's not for financial gain, also unless the primary provider is given sufficient financial compensation for the use of his woman's currency then this is considered cheating (Unless they are into berth el pupping).

That seems reasonably accurate to the r/elationships OPs, yeah. Must be a horrifying world to live in.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 00:59

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

chitoryu12 posted:

Okay I know I just posted one but this story ended up going straight to alarm bell city.

It's Ethan bradberry

# ? Dec 29, 2016 01:11

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

bone app the teeth posted:

Starting a business with your insecure girlfriend, great idea.

Sounds like he started the business first and then started going out with his co-founder, which is also a great idea.

Also "Cinthya" means OP is either using her real name or is too stupid to come up with a convincing fake name.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 01:56

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

I [24F] injured myself on a skiing trip with my BF [31M] of 4.5 years. I'm pissed that he left me alone today so he could go skiing.

quote:

My boyfriend and I are on vacation skiing. Yesterday I had a bad crash and dislocated my shoulder. When it happened my boyfriend was kind of unsympathetic and thought I was just being dramatic so he left me with the medics and continued to ski. It became pretty obvious that I had dislocated my shoulder and needed to go to hospital. He drove me but I could tell he wasn�t happy about cutting his day of skiing short. He also never apologized for not believing I was hurt.

When we got back he continued to be kind of unsympathetic. I maybe was being a little needy but I was in pain and feeling like poo poo and wanted him to be more caring. Then he got pissed because I didn�t want to have sex with him � I really wasn�t in the mood.

Then today he has gone off skiing and left me alone here. I thought we could go do something together that did not involve skiing, there is other stuff to do here. His excuse was he has paid a lot of money for this vacation and so he wants to do what he wants to do. We had an argument before he left because I wanted him to stay but he didn�t. He left me with the feeling that I�ve ruined his vacation. It is loving annoying but what can I do?

I could be being overdramatic because I feel like poo poo and have taken a load of painkillers. Am I being unreasonable in wanting him to spend some time with me and give me some sympathy? The longer I sit here by myself the more I get angry that he left me alone. I don�t want to make this vacation even worse but now we�re pissed at each other I feel like an even bigger argument is going to happen. Advice?

tl;dr: I got injured on a skiing trip with my boyfriend. He is being really unsympathetic and left me behind alone today so he could go skiing

# ? Dec 29, 2016 01:57

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

if you gently caress up and hurt yourself skiing, you stay back at the goddamn lodge or in the bar - everyone else gets to ski. that's the loving rule.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:02

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Incoherence posted:

Sounds like he started the business first and then started going out with his co-founder, which is also a great idea.

Also "Cinthya" means OP is either using her real name or is too stupid to come up with a convincing fake name.

He almost certainly took her real name and changed the i and y lol

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:03

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

JFairfax posted:

if you gently caress up and hurt yourself skiing, you stay back at the goddamn lodge or in the bar - everyone else gets to ski. that's the loving rule.

But you also don't attempt ot have sex with girl that dislocated her shoulder and get pissy about it when she says no, also you should probably be more sympathetic.

Now, if you dislocate her shoulder WHILE having sex, you keep going, thems the rules

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:05

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

JFairfax posted:

if you gently caress up and hurt yourself skiing, you stay back at the goddamn lodge or in the bar - everyone else gets to ski. that's the loving rule.

Agreed but it probably would've been easier for the boyfriend to get her on board with that if he hadn't been a piece of poo poo during/after the injury. It doesn't say how long/far into the vacation they are, either, if there are still a good few days of skiing left it wouldn't kill him to sit one out and be nice to her

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:07

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

JFairfax posted:

if you gently caress up and hurt yourself skiing, you stay back at the goddamn lodge or in the bar - everyone else gets to ski. that's the loving rule.

And his behavior before that?

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:07

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

MF_James posted:

But you also don't attempt ot have sex with girl that dislocated her shoulder and get pissy about it when she says no, also you should probably be more sympathetic.

Now, if you dislocate her shoulder WHILE having sex, you keep going, thems the rules

Chichevache posted:

And his behavior before that?

well yeah obvs he was a prick about that and it was unacceptable.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:09

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

he also did other stuff, but I skimmed, so I missed the fact that he was grumpy when she hurt herself and thought she was faking it, and then continued to be a prick.

Obviously, she could be lying/omitting things, but take it at face value and that dude is a dick.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:18

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

MF_James posted:

he also did other stuff, but I skimmed, so I missed the fact that he was grumpy when she hurt herself and thought she was faking it, and then continued to be a prick.

Obviously, she could be lying/omitting things, but take it at face value and that dude is a dick.

Even if she is omitting things, the girlfriend with a dislocated shoulder usually gets a pass for screaming at her boyfriend.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:20

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

First dont be a bag of dicks wen she hurts herself.
Then
At least hang with her for a few hours and then be all like: "hey hanging out and waiting on you has been fun but I'd like to take some time and ski because [tickets were expensive and not refundable/ I've waited my life to ski here/ my friends are bummed I'm not out there with you. I'm going to go and ski for like 2 hours, I put Gilmore Girls on Netflix for you there anything else you need? Ill be back in like 2 hours to check on you.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:26

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

If you dislocate your shoulder while we're at dave and busters on bonus token night then I'm not spending the evening sitting with you in the booth. By god I'm gonna spend these loving tokens.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:31

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

JFairfax posted:

if you gently caress up and hurt yourself skiing, you stay back at the goddamn lodge or in the bar - everyone else gets to ski. that's the loving rule.

lol are you the bf in question or something

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:36

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

[39/f] My husband [39/m] of 3.5 years pooped in the shower last night and now I don't know how I feel about him

quote:

We've been together for 10 years, he's generally a very clean person so this was kind of shocking. I had a suspicion that he might have done it one other time but he denies it. Last night we were getting ready for bed/sex and we took a shower together but I got out before him. I went into the walk-in closet that is across from the shower area. I took a few minutes selecting a sexy nighty to wear and when I came out I could smell poo poo and he had the shower hose in his hand and had it pointed at the drain. I had an immediate flashback to reading about the the disgusting people here on Reddit that claim to poo poo in the shower because they are too drat lazy to get out and use the loving toilet. I couldn't believe my husband was doing this! I called him out and he said it was an accident and that he was embarrassed and sorry. But like I said, I suspect he's done it before. Anyway, we didn't have any sex last night because I couldn't hide my disgust. Our shower has not been draining properly and the idea of it being used as a toilet is too much for me. I put out the bleach for him while he was still in the shower last night and told him he had to clean it. But this morning I went to look and there was still some residue. I have to go get some Draino, and I don't intend on using the shower anymore.

I just don't know what to do now. I am so angry, and disgusted. I love my husband but i don't know if I can look at him the same way anymore.

UPDATE: My husband and I have been talking. I'm not going to throw away almost 10 years of what has been a very happy and fulfilling marriage over a very odd lapse in judgement on his part. He obviously was not thinking straight when he "sharted" accidentally (I'll take his word) in the shower. This is very unlike him, he is well-to-do professional, no mental illness or anything like that. He's Asian but he grew up in a big city on the East coast of USA. Maybe it's the medication, he's only used it one other time many years ago before being put on it again recently for 7 days. I don't know.

He tells me he is so ashamed he can't even look at me, so I am going to take the high road on this one and let it go, as some of you have suggested. And also because I love him. He promises to be careful in the future. He also took care of the drain and scrubbed the bath while I was out. For now I think this has been resolved.

Thanks for the advice not to freak out. I get it, it's embarrassing for him.

I know that to some of you this is an over-reaction, I've been on Reddit long enough to know that to some of you making GBS threads in the shower is no big deal, there's even an affectionate term for it, Waffle Stomping. For me, this kind of behavior is unacceptable and it is not normal. It's extremely disturbing to me that some Redditors think doing that is ok, though not surprising.

UPDATE #2: WE ARE NOT DIVORCING OVER THIS!! I was completely shocked that he did what he did but I am not leaving him. We have talked and things are going to be fine. Secondly, I did NOT say he does this regularly, I said I SUSPECTED he's done it one other time, but I have no proof. So please stop telling me to join him or whatever. Thirdly, the only reason I mentioned he was Asian is because he is of Japanese heritage. Japanese people are very meticulous about their bathrooms, especially the bathing area, so this was something I never expected him to do. I'm not Asian and I'm not White, my race is irrelevant because I don't poo poo in the shower.

"my race is irrelevant because I don't poo poo in the shower"

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:41

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

never trust a fart

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:50

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Esoteric Scientist posted:

[39/f] My husband [39/m] of 3.5 years pooped in the shower last night and now I don't know how I feel about him

"my race is irrelevant because I don't poo poo in the shower"

the phantom shower shitter strikes again!

# ? Dec 29, 2016 02:52

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

bone app the teeth posted:

never trust a fart

If you can't shart in the shower where can you?

Besides the toilet I mean.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 03:54

Malkof: Oct 13, 2001; Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Hey gang it's another "I adopted my niece/nephew and my family told me not to show up" story, now with hot model action:

I [25F] am the parent/guardian to my nephew [1M]. His bio parents [20's] were going to be at Christmas so my parents lied to me and told me they were going away for Christmas. All because his parents did not want to see him

quote:

Look I am angry right now, but ranting and raving never solves anything. My ex husband and I adopted Chazz and he left not long after that. Nothing to do with Chazz, he still see's him it's just our relationship fell apart. We're on speaking terms.

I spent Christmas alone with my son. My ex husband saw us on Christmas eve before he had to leave for his parents in the next city over. My sister and I are both models, we've been in the industry for a long time. I am moving into more of an event manager/agent role in the industry so I have more time to spend with, Chazz. So far all is well and nothing really to complain about. She is still doing her thing, but not for much longer. My sister got pregnant with, Chazz and decided she did not want a child. We decided to adopt him and the rest is history.

So I normally spend Christmas with my parents. They told me they were going away for Christmas this year. I thought OK, I will just spend it with my sister. She told me they were going to visit her boyfriends family. So I decided whatever, I'll just stay home and do my own thing. I don't feel comfortable asking one of my friends to join them.

So Christmas day I'm sitting on the sofa while, Chazz is playing with one of his toys. I got on Facebook and my sister has posted a selfie. It's of her, her boyfriend and my parents. It has the title "Christmas lunch with the fam. xoxox and then a bunch of stupid emojis. I saved it because I knew she would take it down. She has a history of posting stupid poo poo and deleting it. What do you know she deleted literally 5 minutes later.

So Yesterday I called my mother and I told her to explain herself. I said, I have the picture on my phone so don't lie. She came clean and told me they lied because my sister and her boyfriend did not want to see Chazz. They want to wash there hands and pretend it never happend. She claims they were going to spend a "Christmas" with me later on with me and Chazz in the new year. One thing I will say is Chazz is a perfectly healthy baby in every way possible.There is nothing wrong that will make him more challenging than any other baby. But they used the excuse of it's less stressful to have a baby around. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stunned.

TL;DR: Family lied to me about X-Mas plans because my son, Chazz bio parents/my sister were going to be there. She did not want to see him which resulted in me spending X-Mas alone.

Malkof fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Dec 29, 2016

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:34

Malkof: Oct 13, 2001; Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Oh hey double postin'.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:34

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

It kills me that ski boyfriend thought it was a good idea to ask his injured girlfriend for sex. Yeah bro, I'm sure that's exactly what she wants after dislocating her shoulder. :lol:

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:35

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It kills me that ski boyfriend thought it was a good idea to ask his injured girlfriend for sex. Yeah bro, I'm sure that's what she wants after dislocating her shoulder.

last i check shoulder, nowhjere near genitals, checkmate

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:37

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

ArbitraryC posted:

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 3 months, I'm getting jealous of how she acts with her cousin.

who does this

14 year olds who can't drive themselves

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:38

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

Malkof posted:

Hey gang it's another "I adopted my niece/nephew and my family told me not to show up" story, now with hot model action:

I [25F] am the parent/guardian to my nephew [1M]. His bio parents [20's] were going to be at Christmas so my parents lied to me and told me they were going away for Christmas. All because his parents did not want to see him

chazz

# ? Dec 29, 2016 04:39