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DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Sash! posted:

Coach Jesus replied, “They do not need to come off the board. You give them something to string them along.”

“We have here only seven scholarships to offer,” His recruiting coordinator answered.

“Bring those markers here to me,” He said. And He erased and re-wrote names in columns on the whiteboard. Taking the seven scholarships and looking up to Heaven, He gave thanks and wrote the handwritten cards. Then He gave them to the assistant coaches, and the assistant coaches gave them to the recruits. They all texted and were satisfied, and the assistant coaches picked up twelve commits.

"Greyshirts, son," He proclaimed.

:laffo:

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vikingstrike
Sep 23, 2007

whats happening, captain
Just gonna believe that mad libs on a Joel Osteen sermon.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Sash! posted:

Coach Jesus replied, “They do not need to come off the board. You give them something to string them along.”

“We have here only seven scholarships to offer,” His recruiting coordinator answered.

“Bring those markers here to me,” He said. And He erased and re-wrote names in columns on the whiteboard. Taking the seven scholarships and looking up to Heaven, He gave thanks and wrote the handwritten cards. Then He gave them to the assistant coaches, and the assistant coaches gave them to the recruits. They all texted and were satisfied, and the assistant coaches picked up twelve commits.

"Greyshirts, son," He proclaimed.

:perfect:

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Jim Leavitt has his buyout with Oregon waived if and only if he takes the KState job

Bill Snyder will coach until the heat death of the universe

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO
It doesn't appear that Bill Snyder is at all interested in being a retired person. At this point he's gone far enough that he might as well just keep it going until he dies or becomes incapacitated.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Thermos H Christ posted:

It doesn't appear that Bill Snyder is at all interested in being a retired person. At this point he's gone far enough that he might as well just keep it going until he dies or becomes incapacitated.

He's scared to leave after what happened with ladies man Ron Prince, also he probably wants his kid to be the next coach and will never be able to convince anyone else that's a good idea.

Leavitt's probably a proven enough coach that at least he'd feel like he was leaving the program was in good hands (as long as he ignores the abuse stories).

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Leavitt was also an assistant under him for a long time (as part of the Fry-Snyder coaching graduate program) which might make him a little more amenable to it

MourningView fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Dec 30, 2016

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Grittybeard posted:

He's scared to leave after what happened with ladies man Ron Prince, also he probably wants his kid to be the next coach and will never be able to convince anyone else that's a good idea.

Leavitt's probably a proven enough coach that at least he'd feel like he was leaving the program was in good hands (as long as he ignores the abuse stories).

KState knows Snyder Jr probably isn't the best man for the job

OTOH, Snyder saw what Ron Prince did

KIM JONG TRILL
Nov 29, 2006

GIN AND JUCHE

MourningView posted:

Leavitt was also an assistant under him for a long time (as part of the Fry-Snyder coaching graduate program) which might make
him a little more amenable to it

I can't wait for Snyder to retire (not really) so we can get the PPV event of the century in the Leavitt-Venables thunderdome to see who gets to be the successor.

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO
Well I gotta tell you I'm super pumped about all these rumors that our OC is gonna be Warriner or Beck. tOSU's o-line, QB, and offense in general looked stellar last night. I'm sure tOSU fans will be despondent if they hear one of their favorite coaches ever has been lured away.

Lasagna Pilot
Feb 6, 2009

No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Thermos H Christ posted:

Well I gotta tell you I'm super pumped about all these rumors that our OC is gonna be Warriner or Beck. tOSU's o-line, QB, and offense in general looked stellar last night. I'm sure tOSU fans will be despondent if they hear one of their favorite coaches ever has been lured away.

I would assume Herman will be the brains behind the offense and it won't matter, but I thought the same thing about Mac and Nuss.

Lasagna Pilot fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Jan 1, 2017

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

Thermos H Christ posted:

Well I gotta tell you I'm super pumped about all these rumors that our OC is gonna be Warriner or Beck. tOSU's o-line, QB, and offense in general looked stellar last night. I'm sure tOSU fans will be despondent if they hear one of their favorite coaches ever has been lured away.

Warriner was at his best when he was just the Oline coach. If he was to get canned from Ohio State hiring him to coach the Oline would be a pretty good idea.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
Assuming none of these guys run off to the NFL, top guys on the hot seat going into next year would be? Top 5 off the head with no research:

1: Brian Kelly
2: bert
3: Kevin Sumlin
4: Hugh Freeze
5: Kliff Kingsbury

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


C. Everett Koop posted:

1: Urban Meyer
2: Brian Kelly
3: bert
4: Kevin Sumlin
5: Hugh Freeze

Adapted to reflect twitter

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

You might say

that OSU performance

was Sub-Urban.

:smug:

Hed
Mar 31, 2004

Fun Shoe
The SEC is going to be a coaching blood bath after next season between firings and people leaving is my guess.

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO

Lasagna Pilot posted:

I would assume Herman will be the brains behind the offense and it won't matter, but I thought the same thing about Mac and Nuss.

Given that Charlie Strong is a very good defensive coordinator, I wouldn't have thought it'd matter that much who his DC was. For that matter, Vance Bedford has a pretty good track record as a DBs coach, so with him as DC it seems like that unit would be solid even if the DBs coach was bad.

Instead we had a terrible defense with terrible DBs, and it noticeably improved when Strong took over DC/defensive playcalling duties and had Bedford work with the DBs.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


C. Everett Koop posted:

Assuming none of these guys run off to the NFL, top guys on the hot seat going into next year would be? Top 5 off the head with no research:

1: Brian Kelly
2: bert
3: Kevin Sumlin
4: Hugh Freeze
5: Kliff Kingsbury

That looks pretty good.

I'd put Mac at 5a if the team looks absolutely awful tomorrow. And it'll be red hot if we are a dumpster fire again next year.

New AD...maybe we will never hire another Saban assistant.

kayakyakr
Feb 16, 2004

Kayak is true

C. Everett Koop posted:

Assuming none of these guys run off to the NFL, top guys on the hot seat going into next year would be? Top 5 off the head with no research:

1: Brian Kelly
2: bert
3: Kevin Sumlin
4: Hugh Freeze
5: Kliff Kingsbury

Kliff's on the hot seat, but his expectation is not super high. A bowl and not losing by 60+ to Iowa State would do it.

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART

LeeMajors posted:

That looks pretty good.

I'd put Mac at 5a if the team looks absolutely awful tomorrow. And it'll be red hot if we are a dumpster fire again next year.

New AD...maybe we will never hire another Saban assistant.

I know your division's been bad and all, but I can't fathom a coach who's brought his team to their conference championship game twice in his first two years being in the hot seat.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


Pakled posted:

I know your division's been bad and all, but I can't fathom a coach who's brought his team to their conference championship game twice in his first two years being in the hot seat.

New AD, no offense, defensive attrition....all of that could be a disaster for him next year.

And it's hard to bang the Division Champ drum when Kentucky was in play until the last weekend of conference play.

Next year will be when we actually see if he's doing ok. His seat will be warm.

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD
Yeah winning the division isn't some great feat when everyone is garbage. It's the old Big 12 North problem, someone has to win and go be a sacrificial lamb.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


Yeah, I'm not saying its a foregone conclusion or anything. If they go out there and stomp the piss out of Iowa tomorrow maybe outlook will be a bit different.

But if they take a giant dump on the field tomorrow (entirely possible) with a month to prepare and better athletes than Iowa we might start hearing the drumbeat. If Foley were staying I'd say that was ridiculous.

He'll probably get 4 years no matter what, but if he tanks and then next season is bad the seat is going to be scooooooooorching.

It doesn't help that Jimbo, Kirby, Richt, and Saban are all killing him on the recruiting trail and it's going to be worse as Strong/Kiffin start snagging 3 star gems that the Big 3 offer late.

LeeMajors fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Jan 1, 2017

CrumFUNist!
Nov 27, 2005

C. Everett Koop posted:

Assuming none of these guys run off to the NFL, top guys on the hot seat going into next year would be? Top 5 off the head with no research:

1: Brian Kelly
2: bert
3: Kevin Sumlin
4: Hugh Freeze
5: Kliff Kingsbury

Jim Mora, Todd Graham, Rich Rodriguez, Sonny Dykes all look to be hanging by a string. With Dykes it's more of a mutual feeling. A third of the Pac-12.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

CrumFUNist! posted:

Jim Mora, Todd Graham, Rich Rodriguez, Sonny Dykes all look to be hanging by a string. With Dykes it's more of a mutual feeling. A third of the Pac-12.

Yeah, I'd put Mora at 6, maybe swap him and Koach Kliffy K.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


C. Everett Koop posted:

Yeah, I'd put Mora at 6, maybe swap him and Koach Kliffy K.

What happened with Mora? It seemed like he was poised with Rosen to take over the Pac 12 while USC was down, then they just seemed to tank. Even lost recruiting momentum.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

LeeMajors posted:

Yeah, I'm not saying its a foregone conclusion or anything. If they go out there and stomp the piss out of Iowa tomorrow maybe outlook will be a bit different.

But if they take a giant dump on the field tomorrow (entirely possible) with a month to prepare and better athletes than Iowa we might start hearing the drumbeat. If Foley were staying I'd say that was ridiculous.

He'll probably get 4 years no matter what, but if he tanks and then next season is bad the seat is going to be scooooooooorching.

It doesn't help that Jimbo, Kirby, Richt, and Saban are all killing him on the recruiting trail and it's going to be worse as Strong/Kiffin start snagging 3 star gems that the Big 3 offer late.

Don't forget Butch Davis.

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

Taggert's still going to be bringing florida players to Oregon

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

LeeMajors posted:

What happened with Mora? It seemed like he was poised with Rosen to take over the Pac 12 while USC was down, then they just seemed to tank. Even lost recruiting momentum.

he's a bad coach and they dramatically shifted gears offensively to try to cater to Rosen and it hasn't worked

Komet
Apr 4, 2003

What will happen first? Jim Harbaugh quits or Jim Harbaugh is fired.

Ghost of Reagan Past
Oct 7, 2003

rock and roll fun

CrumFUNist! posted:

Jim Mora, Todd Graham, Rich Rodriguez, Sonny Dykes all look to be hanging by a string. With Dykes it's more of a mutual feeling. A third of the Pac-12.
I don't think anyone's really looking to can RichRod. People aren't happy with a 3-9 season, but not "fire the coach responsible for the best 4-year run in Arizona football history" unhappy. Arizona knows it's not a football school, so competence will get you far. If Arizona falls into a pit next year I can see firing RichRod (Mike Stoops was canned when he'd gone a year without winning an FBS game :haw:) but I think RichRod could get Arizona back to bowl eligibility next year. Stoops' teams were plagued by bizarre errors in addition to being bad, while Arizona last year was just bad.

Graham and Mora are on scorching seats, and it'll take a minor miracle for them both to come back after next season.

Really all I want is for Todd Graham to be fired before RichRod.

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches
Alright

https://twitter.com/Andy_Staples/status/815969702816219137

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


it's time

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf
I guess Saban really hated the playcálling

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
*Running back goes 60 yards untouched*

gonna throw ten times in a row now, gently caress you, dad

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/McMurphyESPN/status/815981360221487104

Canned Sunshine
Nov 20, 2005

CAUTION: POST QUALITY UNDER CONSTRUCTION



Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

Really all I want is for Todd Graham to be fired before RichRod.
So do I, so that RichRod languishes another year in Tucson while ASU gets first choice at a HC replacement.

DrunkPanda
Apr 24, 2005
I am trolling you, CineD

28 Days Later is actually a great movie

fuck starcraft

I guess work-dads aren't as forgiving of teenager-like petulance as real dads are. Sorry Lane :(. Doesn't look like he actually gained any maturity under Saban, though

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

Komet posted:

What will happen first? Jim Harbaugh quits or Jim Harbaugh is fired.

Jim Harbaugh dies as Michigan's football coach

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MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Of a heart attack when he gets owned in Kinnick again

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