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You know your realm has health problems when your ruler is a eunuch with one arm, leg, and eye and each of those cured cancer, syphilis, smallpox, and consumption.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:39
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Hi there, I was thinking of getting this game on steam, should I just get the basic game for 10 euros or splash out 36 euros on the collection? I haven't played any of these paradox grand strategy games before, the closest I got was Civ IV. Any thoughts?
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Dec 31, 2016 00:44
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Go for the basic. CKII is good poo poo but it's niche as hell. It's totally possible that you'll hate it or have it sit in your library for years occasionally trying to get a grip on it. Besides, some of the expansions make parts of the game significantly harder or more complex which will really serve to create a bad first impression. On another note, poo poo man I can't get a decent dude to succeed me to save my life. In my new game my eldest son decided to be a monk (I could've prevented him but he would've become stressed and that's killed like half my characters overall so I avoid that like the plague), leaving me with my hunchbacked second son and a short regency. It seemed alright because he got shrewd and later brilliant strategist buuut then apparently traded out shrewd for dull which I didn't even know could happen. Gobblecoque fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 00:54
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Honky Dong Country posted:
I mean what would be the point otherwise?
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Dec 31, 2016 01:09
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Sever your dick and balls to treat cancer! Doctors hate this one weird trick
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Dec 31, 2016 01:15
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Anyway my name is Marco and lately I've been naming my kingdoms variants on my name like Markovia, Marcovy, Marklund and such. My question is should I cut off my dick and balls, or is this some sort of psychological condition
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Dec 31, 2016 01:18
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Darth Windu posted:Anyway my name is Marco and lately I've been naming my kingdoms variants on my name like Markovia, Marcovy, Marklund and such. My question is should I cut off my dick and balls, or is this some sort of psychological condition It is a psychological condition and that is why you should treat it by cutting off your dick and balls
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Dec 31, 2016 01:21
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I thought having jars of live bees thrown at you was the cure for psychological conditions? It worked wonders for my malaise.
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Dec 31, 2016 02:22
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how in the goddamn do i learn this game i have like 100 hours and im still lost. eu4 clicked a lot faster
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Dec 31, 2016 02:54
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:how in the goddamn do i learn this game i have like 100 hours and im still lost. Did you try: code:
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Dec 31, 2016 02:59
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my last ruler did die of syphilis after having like 10 lovers.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:01
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:how in the goddamn do i learn this game i have like 100 hours and im still lost. Ireland 1066 -> Novgorod 1066 -> Aragon 1066 -> Karen 867 In Ireland your goal is to unite Ireland, then maybe Brittania if you feel like it. In Novgorod your goal is to have your dynasty survive the Mongol horde and regain independence if you lost it. For Aragon your goal is to retake Spain from the Muslims. For the Karen Dynasty, your goal is to become the Saoshyant. Those are the scenarios that basically taught me how to CK2 back in the day. It's an escalating series of challenges that will force you to adapt or die. This sequence is super military-focused so if you want to play a political game be a vassal in France or the Byzantine Empire or something.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:02
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like how the hell do i expand, it seems like waiting for people to die takes forever.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:04
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:like how the hell do i expand, it seems like waiting for people to die takes forever. Fab claims and marry for alliances dude
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Dec 31, 2016 03:07
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:like how the hell do i expand, it seems like waiting for people to die takes forever. If your neighbors are of the same religion, you can fabricate claims. This takes a while and is random but you can do it whenever without much setup. If your neighbors are pagan you can Holy War them, which is awesome, easy, and immensely rewarding assuming you can win, but weakens the legitimacy of your faith and costs hella gold if you lose. If folks have unmarried daughters and no sons (or sons you could feasibly plot to murder, or weird succession laws that let women inherit) then you can play the long con and marry them to your heir and inherit everything.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:09
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Honky Dong Country posted:
Went into seclusion during an epidemic and had a rash of gluttonous characters raid my food supplies. Going cannibal felt so right...
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Dec 31, 2016 03:15
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:my last ruler did die of syphilis after having like 10 lovers. This is pro-tier CK2 play in truth, you have little left to learn.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:16
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Mister Adequate posted:This is pro-tier CK2 play in truth, you have little left to learn. i figured if everyone in my council was my lover it would help me to pass laws and stuff. it worked but then again i died so...
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Dec 31, 2016 03:21
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well HECK Phil posted:Went into seclusion during an epidemic and had a rash of gluttonous characters raid my food supplies. Going cannibal felt so right... The only downside is that you end up with Kinslayer when all your fat kids get in there to eat the food.
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Dec 31, 2016 03:33
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:like how the hell do i expand, it seems like waiting for people to die takes forever. Just in case, Speed 1 is not the standard Speed to play this game on.
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Dec 31, 2016 04:07
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:like how the hell do i expand, it seems like waiting for people to die takes forever. And are you not playing as muslim/pagans? ye gads
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Dec 31, 2016 04:26
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What is the consensus best new game for a total beginner now that it isn't Ireland? Charlemagne feels overwhelming because you start so powerful
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Dec 31, 2016 05:22
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beergod posted:What is the consensus best new game for a total beginner now that it isn't Ireland? Charlemagne feels overwhelming because you start so powerful It's still Ireland, just not in the Charlemagne era. 1066 is the newbie playground, any earlier and you're going to be dealing with constant viking raids.
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Dec 31, 2016 06:14
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Duke of Apulia in 1066 seems pretty nice. Decent starting realm but not so big as to feel overwhelming and fantastic initial expansion opportunity. You can unite the whole kingdom of Sicily quickly without ever touching fab claim since you can holy war all the Muslims in Sicily and then de jure claim the handful of independent counties. Only thing is that you're starting guy is old and has a lot of (young) kids so if you're not careful you might end up with your demesne disintegrating and having a big succession struggle. Edit: Total beginner should still probably go Ireland first but if you're allergic to that then there ya go Gobblecoque fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 06:17
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Loaded up a Haesteinn game so I could test eating people to gain their powers and HERE WE GO.
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Dec 31, 2016 06:23
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I got turned into a baby.
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Dec 31, 2016 06:40
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uPen posted:Loaded up a Haesteinn game so I could test eating people to gain their powers and HERE WE GO. If I remember right he has more than 22 martial, so make sure you choose that as your option.
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Dec 31, 2016 06:40
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Darth Windu posted:Sever your dick and balls to treat cancer! Doctors hate this one weird trick Actually, of the various "Doctor removes a body part to cure a disease" combos, "Removing testes to cure cancer" is the one that makes the most sense, and is something that is actually done. VERY FEW Eunuchs actually had a full penectomy; it was quite a hard thing to survive.
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Dec 31, 2016 07:55
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Is it normal to go like months and months with nothing happening? I'm waiting for my diplomat to find a casus belli so I can go to war with a neighboring place but not much else is going on. I set the rest of my dudes to research.
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Dec 31, 2016 08:44
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So I'm playing my first real game since like 2013 and I had a good first 100 years, but for some reason lately the select a spouse screen is always empty, no matter who I try to pawn off. Is this a bug?  I tried seeing if all kinds of different characters could get married and nopewhy did my nice wife have to go get the gout
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Dec 31, 2016 08:54
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Honky Dong Country posted:Cutting off your dick and balls in CK2 is like "walk it off" in baseball. Last I checked, you need four balls for that. I'm sure this can be expanded into a joke about holy relics. Michael Bayleaf posted:So I'm playing my first real game since like 2013 and I had a good first 100 years, but for some reason lately the select a spouse screen is always empty, no matter who I try to pawn off. Is this a bug? Have you tried going to the character page and seeing if you can do it directly?
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Dec 31, 2016 09:00
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catlord posted:Have you tried going to the character page and seeing if you can do it directly? Sure have! When both portrait box things are empty I can see the complete list of eligible people on both sides, but the moment I choose someone to whore off on either side, the other side goes 100% empty.
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Dec 31, 2016 09:05
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I just noticed that my new liege as of 5 years ago is also the leader of the knights templar. Could that be the cause? Googling around made it look like that could be it, which is hilarious because that'd mean the whole HRE can't marry anyone lol edit yeah now that he finally died a decade+ later I and everyone else can marry. How goofy Michael Bayleaf fucked around with this message at 11:26 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 10:30
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:i figured if everyone in my council was my lover it would help me to pass laws and stuff. What the hell are you talking about you're playing the game right.
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Dec 31, 2016 12:35
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uPen posted:Loaded up a Haesteinn game so I could test eating people to gain their powers and HERE WE GO. I've never seen this event, what doe it do?
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Dec 31, 2016 12:44
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It's the start of the immortality chain.
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Dec 31, 2016 13:09
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I'm playing a nice vassal game in the Byzantine Empire (as a merchant republic in Trebizond) and the Basilissa has just married the Karling emperor of Francia in a regular marriage. Interesting times ahead! Edit: Virtually the whole empire joined a faction for elective monarchy, guess we won't unite the realms anytime soon. Torrannor fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 13:58
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I just found out that if you accidentally make your son a Doge he won't be your heir anymore for some reason. I also found out that winning wars against trade republics gives you lots of money.
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Dec 31, 2016 14:29
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shut up blegum posted:I just found out that if you accidentally make your son a Doge he won't be your heir anymore for some reason. I also found out that winning wars against trade republics gives you lots of money. The reason is pretty clear, republicans (of normal republics or merchant republics) can never inherit feudal titles.
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Dec 31, 2016 14:54
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| # ? May 31, 2024 01:41 |
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Torrannor posted:The reason is pretty clear, republicans (of normal republics or merchant republics) can never inherit feudal titles. Yeah, didn't really think about that until I gave my son a duchy while he was already mayor or something? Don't really know. But it's not that bad. We'll see how it goes with my other heirs. EDIT: wait. Apparently my new heir is my grandson, son of the doge. So he'll inherit the kingdom of Sicily later, but what will happen when his dad dies? Will I lose the trade Republic of Venice? shut up blegum fucked around with this message at 15:58 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 14:57
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