/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Who makes fun of a dude for eating eggs? "Ha ha, look at THAT GUY, eating a human staple food in his own home!!"

# ? Jan 2, 2017 02:54

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# ? May 14, 2024 05:54

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Antivehicular posted:

Who makes fun of a dude for eating eggs? "Ha ha, look at THAT GUY, eating a human staple food in his own home!!"

what if its all he eats?

# ? Jan 2, 2017 02:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Ranma Fan Art posted:

what if its all he eats?

Then Egg better sack up and get used to his new name

# ? Jan 2, 2017 02:55

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

If you earn a nickname, you goddamn own it. He'd solve all of his problems by accepting his moniker as the dumb and harmless term of affection it is. His buddies keep ribbing him about because it bothers him so much. A normal reaction would be to just roll with it and be named Egg in that social circle. That's how it works. He's creating his own suffering. I am perfectly happy blaming the victim here.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 02:59

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Pvt.Scott posted:

If you earn a nickname, you goddamn own it. He'd solve all of his problems by accepting his moniker as the dumb and harmless term of affection it is. His buddies keep ribbing him about because it bothers him so much. A normal reaction would be to just roll with it and be named Egg in that social circle. That's how it works. He's creating his own suffering. I am perfectly happy blaming the victim here.

Agreed. If he keeps hatching plans to move out, it'll just get worse.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:01

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

If you earn a nickname, you goddamn own it. He'd solve all of his problems by accepting his moniker as the dumb and harmless term of affection it is. His buddies keep ribbing him about because it bothers him so much. A normal reaction would be to just roll with it and be named Egg in that social circle. That's how it works. He's creating his own suffering. I am perfectly happy blaming the victim here.

EGG lol

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:03

naptalan: Feb 18, 2009

Oh look I found the OP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3Y9xidFr94

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:03

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

I almost didn't post this because it's borderline depressing but holy gently caress so many red flags. I started bolding the most hosed up parts and stopped when I realized I was basically bolding the entire post. I did add some line breaks to make it slightly more readable.

Feel like [18F] in an abusive relationship [26M] need anyone's help

quote:

Hi everyone this is my first post and is really sad to write for me because I really care about this guy but everyone at home and friends are telling me to break this off.

I don't know what to do because when I break up with him he apologizes and makes me feel bad for what he says he's done for me so I keep coming back to him. We were on the phone for lots of years and he lived across the country he was sweet and had all the things I wanted in a boyfriend. I took him seriously because we would be on the phone non stop and shared lots of things throughout the years. I saw him only once before he came to move out here. He came less than a year of us talking to each other on the phone and wanted to meet up. So he told me he was at a hotel and when I got there there was another girl there that he said was a friend but didn't tell me beforehand she'd be there. The girl seemed like she was upset and he told me they used to date years ago. Then he said he wanted a threesome which I didn't do because I didn't feel safe. Then he played it off as a joke which I knew was a lie. What happened that night was the girl was sleeping on the hotel floor, wearing his clothes and I was sleeping on the bed with him. We did not have intercourse but performed oral. I was devastated at this threesome he wanted because I felt he was using me for sex and didn't even tell me about it. I had my hopes high to finally meet him and now there's another girl there. I stayed at the hotel because I wanted to get to know him in real life even though he had hurt me by even going to the extent of asking me if I was "down with OPP". After he went back to his state, we kept talking on the phone for years until last June.

June of 2016 he decides to move out here to my city to permanently stay out here and to have a normal relationship not an LDR. Since he's been living in my state he constantly complains how his job doesn't pay him enough and how he's struggling financially to stay out here. He used to live with his mom, dad, and sister back in his hometown and this is his first job. This is why I understand his financial situation but I'm feeling uneasy about how this "relationship" is unfolding.

He has picked me up from my house only 4 times the whole time he's been here. All the other times I have to drive 20-25 minutes to the next city to see him in his apartment. I've gone to his place hundreds of times because again, I'm really trying to be with him. The first couple of months he was here I didn't really take offense to the fact that I was the one paying for buses or gas and that he wouldn't pick me up because I understand his financial situation. He has barely anything to eat and it's hard for him to make ends meet. However every time I would go to his house all he would do is put a movie on. Then he would insinuate sex with me but I was okay with having sex because I feel like I know him. Then after the sex he'd put on another movie and if I try talking to him he ignores me and then says he can't hear me even though I'm right next to him. I began to feel abused because he would only have sex with me if I performed oral for about an hour only to get 10-15 minutes of intercourse. Every time we've had sex he makes me perform oral and he doesn't give it back. He's only given me oral 6 times. He also refuses to buy and wear protection and told me to get on birth control but I don't want to so every time we have sex I'm risking a pregnancy/STD.

He also has 2 roommates, both guys who bring girls home from bars, streets, dating apps who then I hear them talk about with my boyfriend. They make fun of the girls and talk bad about them when I'm there. I know it's none of my business but I don't understand how my boyfriend admires his roommates lifestyle but somehow "commits" to me. It makes me doubt whether or not he's cheating on me if he sees girls as easy then laughs. I've talked to him about it and he says that's his roommates bringing the girls and not him. However there was this one time where there was a girl the roommate had over and she was talking to my boyfriend while I had to wait in his room for him to come back. Then he ended up making me stay alone in his room while he went out with the girl and his roommate. He has never taken me out and I got hurt because he was flirting with the other girl and I could hear them.

On my birthday he gives me a used necklace from the thrift store across the block but I accepted it because a gift is a gift however when asking my friends they told me they'd be mad but I didn't know what to do because I'm not materialistic and don't expect much from anyone especially someone who is struggling financially so I didn't complain of it to him but the necklace was in poor condition. The chain was rusty and the charm was yellow, somewhat black like mold.

Yesterday I show up to his house and I tell him I feel like he doesn't like me and he's taking advantage of my kind heart and he pulls out a phone for me. He broke the phone I had when he came and he didn't replace it so I got happy he was trying to make up for it. So he gives me the phone and says it's mine and that he got it to stay in contact with me. I was confused because he doesn't call me or text me ever besides inviting me over. Then since I was crying and he gave it to me at the wrong moment I put the phone on the floor and told him that I cared about him. Before he gave me the phone he yelled at me because I told him how I felt and he told me I don't appreciate anything he does because he left his hometown and his friends. He yelled because he says if he didn't love me he would've been went back to live with his mom and wouldn't be paying all this money for rent let alone get a job. Since I felt bad I left the phone on the floor and fell asleep on his bed. Today in the morning I hear him telling his roommate about how the extra phone was free because he bought himself a new phone and that he got "suckered into" buying the extra phone because of a deal. Then he said he's going to return the extra phone, which was supposedly the one he claims he bought for me. I don't care about the phone because I'm a kind girl and I just want a person to love and to care for. He didn't say it to my face he was returning it but I overheard him talking to his roommate. I don't care about the phone but he hurts me and I just need advice from anyone out there.

Tl;dr Current boyfriend who used to be LDR makes me feel taken advantage of but I don't know what to do because he says he's going to change but hasn't

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:03

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

He's better off showing them the sunny side of his disposition, for sure.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:04

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Ranma Fan Art posted:

maybe he is actually Anne from Arrested Development

Who?

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:04

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Chichevache posted:

Who?

you know, her

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:05

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

The funny one

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:07

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pvt.Scott posted:

If you earn a nickname, you goddamn own it. He'd solve all of his problems by accepting his moniker as the dumb and harmless term of affection it is. His buddies keep ribbing him about because it bothers him so much. A normal reaction would be to just roll with it and be named Egg in that social circle. That's how it works. He's creating his own suffering. I am perfectly happy blaming the victim here.

Based on his followup comments they actually seem to be doing it cause he's a blacksheep in the group and it's an indirect enough way of bullying for everyone to join in on.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:09

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I'd agree with the "it's just ribbing" except that it's been a thing for months, he's repeatedly asked them to stop and in response they go public with it instead. That goes beyond just some friendly ribbing. That's bullying and harassment.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:11

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

i truly do not think those people are his friends perhaps he needs to work on finding new friends and also his self esteem

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:12

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

ArbitraryC posted:

Based on his followup comments they actually seem to be doing it cause he's a blacksheep in the group and it's an indirect enough way of bullying for everyone to join in on.

It's way more annoying than most people think because "It's just a goofy nickname, get over it" at one point in my childhood my sister started calling me something dumb for literally no reason (I think she just wanted to see if it would annoy me?) and I ignored it because why bother getting into a fight over something stupid, right? Everyone seemed to assume the lack of protest meant I liked it so it stuck for years. People I'd never even met before just kind of assumed that was my name or something. It gets really weird when people just flat out refuse to use your name, and insist that it's okay even when you start asking them to stop and if you lose your temper, then you look like the rear end in a top hat.

quote:

My 36F boyfriend 37M of 3 years hasn't ever gotten me a Christmas gift, this year was no different except be bought another woman 30F a $300 gift.

Chandler and I have been together for 3 years. He's never gotten me a birthday or Christmas gift, it's something we've talked about but hasn't ever changed. We have a great relationship otherwise so I just kind of push it aside because it isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

This year for Christmas was no different. I was away for the holidays on a volunteer trip (I'm a doctor) to Peru. We celebrated a week early. I got him a sweet and thoughtful gift, he did not get me anything. I wasn't surprised and just let it go.

I got back yesterday, and was scrolling through Facebook this morning and see him tagged in a post. He had bought very expensive snow boots ($300+) for a girl I know he messages/texts sometimes. My stomach was churning, so I gave him a call and asked him about it.

He just kept saying how he was just trying to do something thoughtful for someone, and went on to say "am I an rear end in a top hat for doing something nice for someone?" And I wanted to breakup with him on the spot. He said there are no feelings for this girl at all and he isn't cheating.

But I am a believer in 2nd chances and he apologized and said he'll make it up to me. I told him I didn't want a present out of guilt.

I am still really upset, and having a hard time seeing past this. Am I being unreasonable?

tldr: bf has never given me a gift, bought expensive boots for another woman for christmas.

Yes, he is an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:17

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Anony Mouse posted:

I almost didn't post this because it's borderline depressing but holy gently caress so many red flags. I started bolding the most hosed up parts and stopped when I realized I was basically bolding the entire post. I did add some line breaks to make it slightly more readable.

Feel like [18F] in an abusive relationship [26M] need anyone's help

quote:
Then he said he's going to return the extra phone, which was supposedly the one he claims he bought for me. I don't care about the phone because I'm a kind girl and I just want a person to love and to care for.

God drat this one is heart breaking but this really twisted the knife :douche:

Poor woman.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:22

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

quote:

Because it's not nice to not be called by my name and it makes me sad when this happens every single day of my life for months on end. It isn't a lwacky absurd story where they make a story about me murdering people. If I try and add something to a conversation they just say egg and laugh, before ignoring me.

Lol this guy is the Sweet Dee of his group

# ? Jan 2, 2017 03:50

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I've been in situations like that guy is facing and it is indeed incredibly annoying. I don't blame him for not being charitable. Then again I don't really understand people who, when asked not to do something, do it more and more so maybe I'm just missing the rear end in a top hat gene.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:00

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Professor Shark posted:

EGG lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk3xVkOQL0Y

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:08

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

He could do something insane like bring a live chicken to class and rip it into pieces like that one girl

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I'm sorry I am just being GENEROUS by donating my PENIS to ANOTHER WOMAN when you are helping the needy in Peru like a BITCH

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:43

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Maybe the Peruvians will get her something nice

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:47

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Ranma Fan Art posted:

maybe he is actually Anne from Arrested Development

Better Fred Than Dead posted:

She's prob depressed honestly

Combine depression or OCD with targets or rationalization and you can really fall apart under the guise everything is cool and I'm trying to ACTUALLY take care of myself.

Mm no she sounds pretty par the course for someone who is diving face first into the crunchy lifestyle. I like to think I have a tasteful amount of crunch and people like OPs wife....they do not hold back.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 04:53

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Pick posted:

I'm sorry I am just being GENEROUS by donating my PENIS to ANOTHER WOMAN when you are helping the needy in Peru like a BITCH

I am a sexual socialist and must distribute my D to those who need it most.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 05:13

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

The Egg guys are being huge jerks, yes. Well beyond the call of duty. Still, OP is the one getting mad about it. I guess I've got too much chill because I've gone by many names, not all of them flattering.

If he really doesn't want the name, a face full of fist is the answer in a group of rear end in a top hat guys, not whining about it. He should probably move and find better people to hang with in the long term.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 05:25

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

naptalan posted:

That's so utterly disgusting I couldn't finish reading. Here is a palate cleanser:

Me [20M] with my friends(?) and housemates [20M&F] of nearly two years keep calling me an egg?

Why would a girlfriend beg for months to put an egg in your rectum (sexually) and then when you finally agree she now always calls you a �yolk-assed bitch� in public and even in front of your parents?

# ? Jan 2, 2017 05:33

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

# ? Jan 2, 2017 06:01

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Sounds like she picked out the nickname first then came up with a way to start using it naturally!

# ? Jan 2, 2017 06:01

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

chitoryu12 posted:

Why would a girlfriend beg for months to put an egg in your rectum (sexually) and then when you finally agree she now always calls you a �yolk-assed bitch� in public and even in front of your parents?

Humpty Dumpedty

# ? Jan 2, 2017 06:39

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Bonster posted:

My (34M) wife of 5 years (37F) and I are, or were, TTC. She went on a natural health kick but now she smells and possibly has an infection. I can't stand to touch her and she thinks I'm "disgusted" by her. She's kinda right.

EWW! Eww ew ew!

Between that, this and this you basically have a collection of disgusting body horror coalescing on something awful like a pool of unknown body goop
Read all three consecutively if you wanna puke

# ? Jan 2, 2017 08:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Okay okay I finally caught up with this thread, jesus, y'all posted up a storm. Thanks for eventually stopping the derails I would have told you to stop.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 08:57

El Estrago Bonito: Dec 17, 2010; Scout Finch Bitch

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

His parents are right because going to Japan (or really, anywhere internationally) solo at age 18 is a very bad idea and a total waste of time and money. I can see the desire to visit Japan with a friend or three, but dude going on his own as a literal teenager sounds like a miserable time, so he should listen to his parents.

He should also be taking advantage of exchange programs, discounted student tours, etc at his age. What made him think going solo without a real plan was a good idea?

Japan is actually like the safest possible place you could travel at 18. Hostels are super clean and cheap, public transportation will take you anywhere, there's tons of fun stuff to do that's very safe and pretty cheap, most young people are pretty chill, speak broken English and will help you out if you need it. Like his parents probably have some good points, but I've been to Japan a few times and the first time I was around 18 and literally had no plans but a debit card and a week long stay at a hostel booked and it was an extremely fun and rewarding experience. Its a good place to experience things that you can't experience back home and get that out of your system for a while. The drinking age in Japan is officially "no one gives a gently caress" and the number of people who will card you to get into a live house/concert/club is exactly 0. Not to mention if you shack up in the hostel district (which is also where all the college bars are and college rentals) you'll be around a strong crowd of international young travelers like yourself and immediately gain a bunch of drinking buddies from various European nations and American cities. Tokyo is the fuckin' bee's knees if you like music, hands down the best indie music scene on earth right now. Any night of the week you have a choice between dozens of shows in every genre imaginable. Last time I was there we just stopped looking at flyers and poo poo and just walked into various clubs, we saw a rap battle, some metal shows, some kind of swing/ska/experimental jazz thing, some great punk bands, and more.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 10:08

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Help, reddit a coworker is sexually harassing me in all the specific ways that years and years of case law have definitively declared to be sexual harassment is there anything I can do to make it stop?

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:11

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Lone Goat posted:

Maybe the Peruvians will get her something nice

Lol.

Also, Wolfe's older sister's boyfriend is a ninny.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:14

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

*reports sexual harassment to HR*

*gets fired for being a "low performer"*

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:14

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Traveling when you are young and healthy and don't have poo poo like a job or family is the ideal way to travel. Go anywhere, just travel, I don't even care if you're going to Japan because you're a weeb, at least you're a weeb who left his house and got on an airplane and actually managed to interact enough with society to accomplish a goal.

Traveling owns.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:18

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Thanks Francis Bacon

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:19

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

zakharov posted:

*reports sexual harassment to HR*

*gets fired for being a "low performer"*

*sue the pants off the company*

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:21

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# ? May 14, 2024 05:54

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

This court rules in favor of *Corporation*, Plaintiff will pay court costs

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:28

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