Tears In A Vial posted:

My [29F] boyfriend [28M] of five years has become infatuated (?) with female Twitch streamers and it's making me feel like crap

"He set up a stream, started coming on to me in bed, and left his tablet propped up on the night table. I was going along with his advances, but attempted to close the tablet when he told me, no leave it on, I want to watch her while I do you."

Heaps of Sheeps posted:

I [27F] quit my job, got a septum piercing, dyed my hair blue and started a tumblr blog. My BF [35M] is NOT happy about it

quote:

I updated, in case anyone is interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3p6ron/update_me_26f_with_my_husband_30m_of_1_year_is/

edit: I started to try to reply to everyone, but I honestly didn't expect to get so many replies. I'm sorry I can't respond to each of you individually. I'm numb right now. I just texted my husband and told him that I'm going to visit my parents for the weekend. I've got important papers, some clothes, and important belongings in my car, and I'm shutting my phone off while I'm with my parents. Thank you all for giving me some perspective on this situation. I'll update once I've had a chance to figure out whatever the gently caress it is that I'm feeling right now.

Hello Reddit. Longtime lurker here, and now it's my turn to post about my conundrum and get outside opinions. I'm really at a loss at to what I need to do. This is really, really long, so apologies in advance.

My husband and I have been together four years, married for one. Before we met I went to cosmetology school and I loved to express my style by coloring my hair bright colors, wearing dramatic makeup, and stretching my lobes. I enjoyed those things for a few years, and then I outgrew them. I still appreciate such things on others, but my personal style is more conservative now. I've always dressed somewhat modestly, because I don't like showing a lot of skin in public, so it's not like I used to wear daisy Dukes and now I wear burlap sacks. But my hair color is much more "natural" these days, my makeup is classic instead of dramatic, and I let my lobes close up. My workplace is quite conservative, so my red lipstick and heels is already pushing the envelope a bit.

My husband has always known that I used to look edgier than I do now, but I've never dressed like that since we've been together. He's said in the past that he wishes I still had blue hair or stretched lobes, but its always been understood that I no longer want to do those things, and that I would most certainly be fired if I came into work with blue hair. Or at least I thought that was understood.

I came home two weeks ago to find him looking at some pictures that one of my old friends had posted and tagged me in on FB, and I was in several of the pictures, blue hair and all. He started saying how hot it was, and how he wished I looked like that. He said it would be more exciting and that he had always had a kink for girls with edgier style. Ok, I can work with that! I bought some colored clip ins and surprised him a few nights later. I went all out: colored hair, black thigh highs, cute little panties with skulls on them, and a tight baby doll tee that he's always liked. At first I thought he was really into it, but after we had sex he said that he thought the "trial run" had gone well, and now I should commit to an edgier style. I explained that I didn't want to dress like I used to, that I enjoyed doing it in the privacy of our home, but I wasn't going to wear fishnets and combat boots to the grocery store. He got quiet and asked why I wouldn't do this for him. I said that I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, and that I was more than happy to dress up for him for sex or a date. I just am not going to bleach and color my hair or stretch my lobes again.

He stayed quiet for the rest of the night, and refused to discuss it with me any further. He ended up getting up and sleeping on the couch, and had already left when I got up for work. That evening he came home after work and said that he'd done some thinking, and he'd thought of a compromise. He wants me to to get my clit pierced, because that way I'll be "edgy" but it won't be hard to cover like stretched lobes or bright hair. I considered it while I fixed supper, and later than night I said that I would probably be ok with getting my nipples pierced, but that I wasn't comfortable with a genital piercing. I've never been intimate with another person, and the idea of someone else seeing and touching my vulva/clit is very uncomfortable for me. I don't think it would bother me as much if it was my breasts, and if nipple piercings would make me husband happy, I would be willing to try. He blew up and said that I was boring and plain, and why couldn't I just give him what he wanted? He said that he had always hoped that I would regain my old style, but that he was becoming disappointed because I still hadn't after four years. He went on and on about how boring I am and how a wife who wanted to keep her husband satisfied would agree to a clit piercing if that's what he wanted. He said that he wants to use me and make me cry and see my makeup run down my face. He said that regular anal and PIV isn't enough anymore, and that my blowjobs are terrible because I don't want to deepthroat him or be facefucked. He kept going and going, shouting at me and turning bright red. I started crying because I was hurt and humiliated, and he told me to shut up. Then he left for two days and wouldn't answer his phone. When he came back he started giving me the silent treatment and sleeping in the guest room.

He seems to think that I was a different person back in those days. I wasn't. I wasn't promiscuous or "easy". For pete's sake, I was a virgin when we started dating! And I'm not withholding or cold sexually. I'm willing to try almost anything once. We have anal sex once or twice a week, PIV six or seven times a week, and he gets a few blowjobs a week. We've tried light bondage, spanking, and role play. The only things we've tried that I don't like is face loving and facials. Both feel very degrading and humiliating. I'm not sure if it's just the act itself, or if it's the way my husband treats me during and after these acts, but I don't enjoy them. He got very upset when I told him this, but he hasn't asked about doing those acts in a few months, with the exception of mentioning it during his rant about clit piercings. He wasn't willing to try cuddling afterwards, or talking to me affectionately during, he just quit mentioning it altogether.

It's been days since the piercing discussion, and he hadn't mentioned sex once. He's barely speaking to me. He's been leaving his computer on with pictures and videos of heavily pierced and tattooed porn stars getting facefucked or roughly anally penetrated, but he won't speak to me. I don't know what to do. Do I leave? Should I ask him to leave? It seems so silly to leave him over something as insignificant as a clit piercing, but he really hurt me when he yelled and called me boring.

TL;DR: Husband wants me to dress edgier, and when I said I didn't want to dress like that all the time, he suggested I get my clit pierced. I said no because I'm not comfortable with it. He called me boring and said that he wants to use my body and make me cry. Now he's giving me the cold shoulder and sleeps in another room.

quote:

Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3p1d1o/my_26f_husband_30m_of_1_year_is_upset_because_i/

I'm awed by the outpouring of support and advice that you all showed me on my last post. I really wasn't expecting that. Thank you all.

It's been an overwhelming day, but I learned a lot and I know what my next step needs to be.

After I got to my parents', I told them everything. I didn't realize how much I had been keeping from them. I haven't been close to them in years, but I get the feeling that they were just patiently hoping that I would come back around. They were shocked and angry about everything I told them. Not angry at me, but angry at my husband. They told me that they felt i needed to leave him immediately.

This morning I got a Facebook message from a woman that I didn't know. It turns out that my husband has been cheating on me for a long time now. He sometimes works in the next city over, and once or twice a month he would leave for what he called a "guys' day". He was visiting her. This woman told me that they had a very kinky relationship, tons of BDSM, D/s, etc. She ended their relationship and my husband apparently couldn't handle the fact that he a) no longer had her and b) no longer had the sex that he had grown accustomed to. He called her yesterday after I left and she said that she was concerned for me, which is why she wrote.

I'm inclined to believe her, because all of the dates she gave me coincide with my husband's work trips and days away from home, and I also have no reason to believe that a stranger would lie to me about all of this.

I'm still pretty shaken by the realization that my husband is this kind of monster. He was never the sweetest guy around, but his blow up over the piercing was the first time he'd ever raised his voice to me. We were never madly in love; like many of you pointed out, I settled for him because I thought he was all I could get. And yes, he was selfish in bed and made comments about me being plain and all of that. But nothing that struck me as violent or unacceptable. I now know that my standards are way too low.

It hasn't really hit me yet. I feel very calm and focused. I'm pretty sure I'm going to flip out soon, but I wanted to make my choice before that happened. I'm divorcing him. I don't want counseling. I don't want to work through this. I was never all that happy, and after reading so many responses telling me that what happened was awful and abusive and wrong, I no longer want to pretend that my marriage is satisfying.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I'd like to quit my job and move my life back here, at least while I get everything figured out. I'm just tired of feeling numb and calm and bland. I want to feel excited and angry and passionate again. I've been a robot for so long. Even now. Why am I so calm about this?? I don't know. My parents have been great. They told me that I'm welcome for as long as I need to stay, and they want me to let them be involved in my life.

It's silly, but I was going to go back home today and try to talk to him. Then I got that facebook message and that hurt me more than anything. The fact that he cheated on me for so long, while I tried so hard to make him happy. He was my world. I wasn't happy, but I always figured that one of us should be. Now I realize that I'd rather be unhappy by myself than be unhappy with him.

Thanks again, Reddit. Thank you for showing me common sense and stating the obvious when I couldn't see it. I feel very small and stupid and insignificant right now, and the thought of actually being divorced is scary. I don't even want to think about finding anyone else. Maybe I never will. I don't know. That's so far in the future and I have bigger stuff to tackle right now. First priority is getting away from my husband for good. We both make good money, and I have plenty squirreled away. Maybe soon I'll start worrying, but like I said, I've been numb for a long time. I haven't really done anything solely for myself in a so long. I'm definitely going to therapy as well. I was going when my husband and I first started dating, but he convinced me that I didn't need it. I guess he was wrong.

My sister just called while I was typing this up. My parents had asked if they could fill her in. She had an idea for how we should commemorate the complete train wreck that my life has become: She wants us to get matching blue streaks in our hair. I think I'm gonna take her up on it. If I'm going to be different, it will be for myself, not for anyone else.

TL;DR: He was cheating on me. I'm going to divorce him.

lemon-lyme disease posted:

Also I find "due to my unpredictable penis" to be an extremely hilarious phrase and at least somewhat apt for the thread as a whole. My apologies if the reality of the/your situation is such that I'm being a complete rear end for pointing it out.

Gaunab posted:

quote:

My [28F] boyfriend [26M] is obsessed with my weight and I don't know how to handle it

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

You joke (probably), but
My [26F] husband [30M] of 1 year is upset because I don't want to color my hair blue or get a genital piercing


Update

quote:

My sister just called while I was typing this up. My parents had asked if they could fill her in. She had an idea for how we should commemorate the complete train wreck that my life has become: She wants us to get matching blue streaks in our hair. I think I'm gonna take her up on it. If I'm going to be different, it will be for myself, not for anyone else.

quote:

He went on and on about how boring I am and how a wife who wanted to keep her husband satisfied would agree to a clit piercing if that's what he wanted. He said that he wants to use me and make me cry and see my makeup run down my face. He said that regular anal and PIV isn't enough anymore, and that my blowjobs are terrible because I don't want to deepthroat him or be facefucked. He kept going and going, shouting at me and turning bright red. I started crying because I was hurt and humiliated, and he told me to shut up. Then he left for two days and wouldn't answer his phone. When he came back he started giving me the silent treatment and sleeping in the guest room.

quote:

My friend (f 22) and me(f22). She threw a fit over an christmas gift.. I don't want to be her friend any more.Non-Romantic
submitted 8 hours ago * by 123dogsarecool
My friend and I have known each other for about 3 years. I'm dating her older brother. When we first met things were fine but one day my SO had a bruise on his face and he joked and said it was me (it was not) and she took it seriously and stated she hated me. Eventually she came around and her and I became good friends. Anyway this past Christmas I asked her if she wanted to get gifts together since we bonded through shopping. She refused and said she wasn't doing that because "no one she knew deserved poo poo." I went alone and I got her a cheap "toy"(it was a gag gift). A couple of weeks later she got me some cups and candy which I didn't know about till later. Anyway long story short when she saw my gift I could tell she hated it. She refused to open it and left it on my SO's bed. I took it home and kept it for myself. Since then I changed my number(not bc of her but bc I needed a new phone) and I haven't talked to her or given her my new number. I feel like this was my tipping point especially since she's done some lovely things to me in the past
One time I was smoking her out(smoking weed) and I left for a while and left some of my stuff, when I came back I couldn't find my stuff from where I had left it. I smoke a lot so I usually don't forget stuff and especially NOT my weed stuff. I looked all over and couldn't find my stuff and she kept insisting I leave( I was leaving with my SO to my house) and she would let me know when she found it. I persisted in my search and I coincidentally "found it" in her bed(where I had looked) and my stuff felt hot as if someone had used it recently.
I got her a REALLY nice bday gift and a mini cake. She ditched me to go out to a bar and left the mini cake I got her out all day and night. She didn't even say thank you but made a big deal when her other friend got her a balloon and not my thoughtful expensive gift(another reason why I got her a cheap xmas gift). In addition she never got me a bday gift but went above and beyond for her other friend(balloon girl).
one time I got weed from her and she charged me 60 then she stupidly told me a couple of weeks later she had charged some person she knew(me) 60 and got 10 in profit. I remembered because the dealer(a friend of mine) told me he sold her weed for 50 only.
we went to the store one day and she took the receipt from her purchase and tried shoving it in my mouth. I punched her as hard as I could in the tit and she hosed off. Thats not also accounting the times she constantly ties to trip me when we walk together.
I asked her for help with baking some stuff and she ghosted me and went to drink with balloon girl.
6.she goes on rants on FB over things related to me. For example I bought an ipad a couple of years ago for school when I couldn't afford a computer. I have since upgraded and use my iPAD for netflix or other things. She went on a rant saying people who got ipads where idiots and faggots and there were fuckin retards and only people who are gay and stupid get them. There was a couple of other things like my apple watch and other things of the sort where she would go on similar rants aimed at things I specifically had.
TLDR friend has been the opposite of a friend from stealing to lying and trying to hit me. I changed my number(unrelated) and I have refused to answer her fb comments or messages. Am I doing the right thing or should I just tell her I don't want to be her friend? The biggest issue is her brother is my SO and I HAVE to see her and interact with her.

quote:

we went to the store one day and she took the receipt from her purchase and tried shoving it in my mouth. I punched her as hard as I could in the tit and she hosed off. 

Play posted:

It was meant to be funny, I only have an unpredictable penis (great band name btw) in the way that it's large, unwieldy and somewhat drippy and I'm a tall guy making the toilet hole a difficult target to hit reliably. Nothing that should evoke pity, sir, carry on.

Now that I think about it, perhaps I have been doing it wrong the whole time. The shower/bathtub has got to be a much simpler target. I could put up some foliage-themed shower curtains and pretend I'm pissin free in the great outdoors!!

Krabboss posted:

Imagine making it to 30 years old and still thinking sex is just like porn. And sulking and giving the silent treatment when you don't get your way entirely. That poor woman went above and beyond in trying to meet this idiot's desires by communicating and compromising. He doesn't deserve anything better than masturbation for the rest of his life.

quote:

My [32/f] parents [60s] plan on letting my brother [31/m] live in their house after he sent me death threats. They want me to pay for the house despite this.Non-Romantic
submitted 54 minutes ago by Orangejuiceisadrug
Title was getting kind of long but my husband is involved and he's 37.
My brother has been awful to me in more ways than I can type. He has sent me death threats, attacked my husband and tried to punch my stomach while I was pregnant. The reason? I testified about my bio dad's [redacted see comments]. For a brief background, I was abused when I went to visit him at 14 and testified at 15.
My brother is sexist and believes that all women lie about [redacted see comments] so when I went to college, he sent me a hate filled letter about how I was dead to him, etc.
It seemingly came out of nowehere because I had done so much for him and all of a sudden he hates me because of that? Okay whatever. It hurt but with therapy I was able to accept that it was better that he was out of my life.
However, he would send me hate mail about once a year. He's done things like this to lots of people but my parents (mom and adopted dad) would say he acts like that because of Aspergers. No, that is NOT why. He gets so mad with people for stupid things. He told our younger cousin she'd never amount to anything because she got in an argument with her mom. It was typical teenager rebellion and he had nothing to do it to even make a statement like that. He then told the cousin to never talk to him again. Our cousin and her mom were more than happy to have him go no contact.
The reason I decided to make this post is because I don't know how to handle my parents. My husband and I were planning to buy them a house and pay annual property taxes for it.
We are very fortunate to be in a position to do this, but I found out that my parents plan on letting my brother live with them in the house. My husband pretty much washed his hands of them and I'm beyond livid. They know what he's done to me.
I grew up in poverty but my parents did their best to support us and I wanted to pay them back in someway.
My parents are upset because I said my husband and I aren't sure we can go through our plans. I just don't want my brother living in a home I paid for.
tl;dr: Husband and I said we'd buy my parents a nice house. Did not know they'd let my brother stay with them. I don't feel comfortable paying for their home because they're letting my brother stay there.

quote:

Sexual abuse was what I was trying to type but had to be redacted. For some reason that caused the bot to delete my last post automatically and told me to go to a sub for rape survivors. That's ridiculous.

quote:

[–]qabadai 2 points 38 minutes ago
I mean, is he formally diagnosed? It doesn't justify what he has done, but it can't be completely ignored.
You've already told your parents you won't be able to pay for it, they know why and are left with a choice to make. I think that is all you need to do. Perhaps you can help repay them in some other way.
permalinkembed

quote:

[–]Orangejuiceisadrug[S] 2 points 16 minutes ago
He is formally diagnosed but Apsergers does not make a person behave like that so I think this
but it can't be completely ignored.
is bs.
Sending death threats and trying to harm my baby because I wouldn't give him money is not caused by Aspergers.
Perhaps you can help repay them in some other way.
I think this is perfect advice and I would do this, but they want a house. They've said they won't accept anything else. They believe they are entitled to that.

Pick posted:

Tolkien minority posted:

people that use their mental illness to justify being a terrible human being are the worst

quote:

What if he had hurt my baby? Like do they not care? He's always gotten away with poo poo because of his Aspergers. Like he would get the coolest game consoles each year "to help with his Aspergers".

quote:

My sister [26,F] and I [24,F] have been constantly giving our mother [55,F] and brother [21,M] money and it is ruining us.Non-Romantic
submitted an hour ago by moochingfamilyissues
Throwaway account because I know too many people on here. Bear with me, this is a long one.
Both my sister (Patricia) and I moved away from home for university. I moved 4000+ miles away and she moved about 500 miles away. There is an older sister [Francis, 29] and a younger brother [Leo, 21]. We grew up poor. Parents got divorced when we were young, father was very verbally and occasionally physically abusive. Mother had breast cancer when I was 16 ish. Many other things in our childhood and teenage years lead to us not being a very cohesive family.
Time comes for Patricia and I to go to university, and we both took the responsibility and did what we had to do to get our educations. We started to, in short, handle our own poo poo once we turned 18 (even though we were doing so anyways). Both of us have debt from school, worked while going to school to put ourselves through it, moved away from home, paid our own way, didn't ask for any help financially or otherwise, and are now finally starting to barely build something for ourselves.
Francis doesn't talk to our mother. They had a falling out more than 6 years ago (they don't see eye to eye on things -- Francis claims my mother took a lot of her money, my mother claims that Francis never contributed to the house when she was old enough to). I try not to get into it, but from what I've heard from both sides, Francis is stretching the truth, and my mother is blowing things out of proportion. But anyways.
Leo was the youngest and the only boy and so he grew up getting anything he wanted. When he (finally) moved away from home, my mother still pretty much supported him. Over the last two years alone she has given him more than $25,000. He has never learned to be self-sustaining, hasn't learned the value of hard work or saving money, and my mum continues to feed into it. He throws what are essentially hissy fits if he doesn't get what he wants -- I told him I didn't have any money for him to borrow, so he threatened to come to where I live and smash the windows and beat up my roommates. When I can't drop my entire life to help him with whatever he has gotten himself into, he calls me a oval office, selfish, bitch, etc etc., yells and doesn't talk to me and makes up lies about me. He's even told lies to family about me who don't talk to me anymore because of it. My mother, however, continues to enable him.
So now to the money. My mother hasn't worked in about 8 years, since she got sick. She is able to work now, as her cancer is in remission, but doesn't (bar one 3 month stint last year). My brother, even though he has a full-time job, spends all of his money on weed and alcohol, and doesn't save a lick of it. My mother has been asking Patricia and I for money pretty consistently for the last 5 years. My brother has also been asking us for money, and to do things for him. He even asks my mother to ask us. I would help them if I could, but they literally want me to skip work, have no money to pay my student loans, and blow off my own commitments at the drop of a hat for them. Over the last 3 years, she has borrowed about $8000 off Patricia and $7000 off me, as well as having me run around doing things for both her and my brother. I am also currently paying a $200-a-month loan that she has, and she wants me to take out a $6000 loan for her so she has money for rent and whatever else. My brother just asked Patricia for $800 for 'a security deposit', and wants it within 2 days, and told her to send it to his friends' paypal account. Knowing him, the apartment that the security deposit is allegedly for will fall through and the money will mysteriously disappear.
I'm trying to keep it short, although this really doesn't even touch the surface of all of it. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, my mother and by extension my brother have been borrowing money and milking me and my sister for years. We never had anything to begin with, and the little that we do have we worked drat hard for -- full-time school, 40+ hours of work a week, not having food, even both of us being briefly homeless during our efforts. But to them, it's like everything we have worked for they can ask for. I love my mother and brother to death, and wouldn't ever want them to be homeless or in trouble, but it's not fair to me or Patricia to have to keep doing this -- not only is it severely draining us financially, but it is also incredibly stressful to us, and puts stress on our relationships with others. My mother and brother came to 'visit' me two years ago and ended up just living in my apartment with me and my three roommates for 6 months. It essentially ended my friendships with them, as well as me ending up briefly homeless after they finally left. I have had to drive my brother everywhere because he got a DWI, usually involving 10+ hours of driving around the state or various states for his bidding. I've given him money, I'm expected to help him at the drop of a hat, and when I don't both my mother and him yell and call me names and etc. My mother wants me to take out ANOTHER loan for her (this isn't the first, I had one for $15,000 while in university that I was paying while in school, along with trying to support myself and taking out student loans). I already pay her other loan. I've given her thousands of dollars to help her out.
She comes to us and cries and says she doesn't know how she is going to get the rent, and it kills both of us. She guilts us sometimes even, of hangs up the phone, or gives us the silent treatment. I know it's not fair to us but neither of us know how to say no, plus neither of us want something bad to happen to her. But it's not fair to me or Patricia. Am I being selfish in thinking this? I just feel like we've worked really hard to get our degrees and get out on our own, and she keeps siphoning from us, for her and for our brother.
She claims that she hates liars, accuses all of us of lying to her, but then turns around and lies to us (even if it's only about small things). I feel like she isn't good with money -- her mother died 8 years ago and she got a considerable sum of money when the estate/house was sold, but has none of it left (and had none of it left after only a few years). She didn't save any money from the 3 month job she had at the end of last year -- it ended October 31st and as of December she was asking us for money again. We just through hoops to help her and are now financially killing ourselves to help her and my brother. I don't think it's fair to us because we worked really hard to get the little we now have, but I don't know how to say no as I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't know what to do, neither of us do.
tl;dr: mother and brother keep borrowing large amounts of money from me and my sister. It is killing us financially, after we have worked hard for many years to get the little we now have. We don't want anything bad to happen to them but don't know how to say no. Is it selfish? Should we still continue to help them?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

That is super concerning and while I don't like to demonize porn, I think the easy accessibility to violent porn is a big part of it. I'm definitely a little worried about the younger kids in my family and how easy it is to access nowadays.

quote:

Me [32 M] with my GF [35 F] three years, Christmas let me feeling under appreciated.
So let me start off by saying this isn't about the money spent (Or not spent). My gf of three years probably spent less than $50 on me for Christmas in gifts that felt like she was buying for a secret Santa that she was forced to participate in.

First off, I am not huge on material things. I have a few material things, but I'm not crazy about buying random things.

We both make quite a bit of money (Around 250k annually combined).

So for Christmas, I went all out. I bought her three separate gifts (plus a few smaller gifts and stocking stuffers) that were thoughtful, planned out for weeks in advance and took quite a bit of work to not only get together, but hide until Christmas morning. I did it because I love her, and I like to see her happy.

On Christmas morning she was super excited and happy to receive her gifts. She's told me more than a few times how great everything she received is, going on and on about how lucky she is to be with someone who understands her so well.

That's what makes the whole situation worse. Like I said, not spending very much is fine, but the things she got me weren't even an after thought, they feel like it was no thought at all.

What is worse is, Christmas night we went to a friends house for Christmas, and they had gotten me a really nice, very thoughtful gift. I was almost in tears, because it wasn't something that I had necessarily wanted, but it was almost the perfect gift for me.

How do I deal with this? I know she cares about me, but she seemingly put more thought and time in to gifts for people she works with that she doesn't even like much.

I do a lot for her, and I just want to feel appreciated sometimes, and after this I don't know what to feel. This isn't the first time either. It seems every Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, she never puts any thought into it, yet she'll go out of her way for other people, and doing stuff for them.

TLDR: Girlfriend, never puts a lot of thought or effort in to gifts she buys me, even though I put a lot of work into things I do for her. I'm beginning to feel unappreciated.

Pick posted:

Nuebot posted:

I don't think it's necessarily the easy accessibility of violent porn, but the sheer casual nature of it. A lot of sites will present more violent actions as the vanilla presentation. A great example is deep-throating, complete with gagging. That's not something a lot of people experience in their life, or enjoy but boy howdy do a lot of porn sites want their viewers to know that's the best way for a blowjob to go down.

Must suck to be in a relationship with someone who not only is a lovely gift giver, but doesn't have the awareness to just ask you what you want and give you that or default to gift cards.

Tolkien minority posted:

theres like a million of these where the op is wondering how to not give their family money and i just want to scream at them "MAYBE SAY NO WHEN THEY ASK FOR MONEY"

quote:

Stay or give it all up? Me [32F] with my current [49M] 1.5yrs, or re-chance with ex [32M] 5 yrs, 6 yrs ago.Personal issues
submitted 2 hours ago by Juliev1121
Oh boy do I need your help.
I split with an amazing guy 6 years ago. We connected so well and I trusted him endlessly, but he always felt a bit far away and had a gaming addiction (which he’s since resolved). I had an internship opportunity in Africa and had to decide whether to keep it short and come back to him, or end our relationship and be open to jobs there. So I laid out 2 things I needed from him – stop gaming so much and a bit more sexually adventurous – but he said he couldn’t do those things. So I ended it.

Forward 6 years. Work and the decision I want a family landed me on the other side of North America from my ex. I hadn’t met anyone and kept thinking about him. I wrote him a long letter, and we talked so openly about what happened. I learned that during that time he was failing school, and actually dropped out adding 2 years to his education when we split. He couldn’t give me what I needed, because he was losing himself. He would love to explore us, but right then he was seeing an old ex who was going through a lot (alcoholism), and while he doubted it’d last he had to let it take its course.

Two weeks later I met a great guy 15 years older than me. He is hot (for almost 50), has a great career, is very well off, great sex, and tells me I’m beautiful and smart every day. It’s been a year and a half and we just moved in, and he wants to marry soon (he’s very ready to find his life partner and build with them). Fantasy right? Suddenly though, I felt like.. how could I ever NOT be with my ex again? OMG.. never another chance! It tore me apart. And now I suddenly am picking out all these little annoyances about the current guy. I don’t even feel as attracted to him and have been a bit rude but almost feel I can’t control it.

I met for coffee with my ex while visiting home over holidays. He said he was sorry he never had the confidence to come after me – he just never believed he’d amount to anything. That I was out of reach. Then he saw me with this guy and he thought I was happy - he wanted me to have that. Figured I’d marry this guy, and with that resolved he’d likely just be alone for a long time. He would love another shot… but also doesn’t want to be the reason I change everything. He feels guilty, like a home-wrecker. We’re both logical enough to know it might not even work. We’d be starting from scratch emotionally and in life, new (but good) careers with student loans and not even have enough to buy a home if it does work. And, it would mean me leaving a job, life, moving across the country to a place I know no one. But, much closer to my fam (4 hour drive vs. 700$ flight).

Since the talk with my ex I’ve told my current guy a million things Im unhappy about. Too far from my family? He’ll get me a condo there so I can see them. He’s too clean for kids? He will learn to be messy. Loves penthouse too much? We’ll get a house. He is just so willing to fix every single thing I bring up! – because he will do anything to see me happy.

I don’t know who I love. My ex? I did so much but its been 6 years we don’t even know each other anymore. My current, I thought I did but now I’m really not sure. I haven’t even wanted to kiss him. I cant ‘follow my heart’ – its not speaking to me! Am I just running away from a good thing, cold feet? And, I worry the money clouds my vision – a life where I could have anything and so could my kids. But, it’s not just that – one is ready to do anything for me, while the other let me walk away once before. But, the current is so willing to do anything, I worry I’ll steal how he envisioned his retirement – kids instead of travel and luxury, and he may resent it later. Or I could go after the one I’d get to grow and build with and who finally put himself out there, sharing more with me than he ever has – but if it doesn’t work lose everything and have to start all over and maybe never meet another good guy for years and years. All I do know - is Im tired of dating, am ready for the next stage of life.. and both are so great I might never find another as great as either. :’( Im just so lost. Please help :””(.

tl;dr: Two great guys. One older, well off and a sure thing. The other.. amazing connection and history. I dont know what to do.

Pick posted:

This woman is such an idiot

Earwicker posted:

maybe its just me but it seems pretty weird to be so emotionally invested in holiday/birthday gifts in your 30's

Zelder posted:

I hope that awesome old dude gets away from that trash lady

Pick posted:

same. also he should call me.

quote:

Needless to say, this is absolutely disgusting. It all started about a month ago, which makes me think it's someone new at the office. There's only one urinal, and beneath it is just tons of piss. It's impossible to avoid, your soles end up all sticky and the whole room just reeks.

This morning, I was making my morning constitutional and heard someone come in and use the urinal. Right before he left, another guy came in. When I emerged from the stall, the second guy looked at me and was like, "Dude, any idea who's been pissing on the floor?" So I asked him who it was who left when he walked in. He replied it was the new guy in finance.
Bingo!

Granted, the new guy doesn't seem the type, but then again, no one really seems the type. What kind of person pisses on the floor? Which leads me to believe that perhaps there's some sort of odd medical condition that may account for this: uncontrollably shaky hands perhaps or a stream that's somehow ultra-pressurized. Either way, it's made trips to the bathroom very unpleasant and I have no doubt the custodial staff shares my disgust. Obviously, I have no smoking gun evidence it's him and it would be pretty unfeasible and undoubtedly fireable to attempt to get it. What should I do?\

TL;DR: I think I know who's been pissing on the men's room floor. Now what?
EDIT: Thanks to the person who commented that it could be a leaky urinal. I wouldn't have thought of that. While I don't necessarily believe it is a leak, it provided me the opening I needed to email our custodial manager without making it seem like I was accusing someone.

Zelder posted:

fuk u I saw him first

Pick posted:

look, the two of us fill different niches, we'll both call him and see which he prefers. but the important thing is to get him away from the woman who lives in a stupid loving dreamworld and is forcing her un-reality on others because she saw the notebook too many times