Samizdata posted:

Or do you forget Sears became famous by way of their mail order business?

Magna Kaser posted:

Do people just craft these as elaborate jokes now? Literally every comment on the post is just calling it out as fake so I'm not sure who ever believes these any more.

Tunicate posted:

They had the chance to get in on the ground floor of e-retail, but they flubbed it so bad

Detective Buttfuck posted:

Did they delete the Imgur post? It only has the title now, no contents, comments, or uploader name.

King Doom posted:

It looks that way, yeah. Anyone want to recap for those of us who missed it?

yeah I eat rear end posted:

From what I remember, the poster's niece was paid to housesit for him. She invited her boyfriend over and he stole a "10000 dollar" bottle of whiskey and broke his truck or whatever. Then he posted a bunch of tough-guy texts to the boyfriend threatening to cut his dick off etc unless he hands over the title to his truck and does 300 hours of unpaid work, the boyfriend turns into a simpering "yes sir, sorry sir" idiot and it ends with us supposed to pat the OP on the back for being so tough+cool.

chitoryu12 posted:

He also stole his gun belt and Ruger Vaqueros with it. The last update had him posting a picture of a Winchester rifle and a hatchet at the meeting spot, suggesting he was waiting for the guy to arrive with a gun. He justified it as "Well what if he brings his friends to kill me instead?"

Detective Buttfuck posted:

Did they delete the Imgur post? It only has the title now, no contents, comments, or uploader name.

GreenMetalSun posted:

Hnnnngh.

GreenMetalSun posted:

Hnnnngh.

quote:

Fun story. When I was a kid, I really wanted a 3DO. It was the most expensive console at the time, but it looked so cool. I was 12 at the time, so there was no way I could afford it. A month after it was released, my mother and I drove up to Connecticut from Florida to see my grandfather. Now, my grandfather was rich at the time and he had a lot of rich friends (my mom and I on the other hand, were broke). Anyway, one of my grandfather's rich friends was feeling rather cheeky one night while we were all at my grandfather's house; he handed me three toothpicks and bet me $500 that I couldn't turn them into four without breaking any. I made the number "4" on the table in front of us. I had solved his riddle. The guy wanted out of the bet, but my grandfather made him pay me.

Well, I still needed $200 to cover the cost of the 3DO. When my mom and I were leaving Connecticut to return to Florida, we stopped at a gas station. She bought a handful of Lotto tickets and let me scratch off half of them. She said if we win anything decent, we could split it. Well, one of the tickets I had scratched off was a $400 winner. My mom let me keep $200 of that. In total, I had all the cash I needed to pay for the 3DO, except the tax (which mom graciously paid for).

Cut to 2015, 23 years later. I'm standing behind Trip Hawkins (founder of the 3DO company) in line at the grocery store. I can't believe it. I just had to say something to him, I mean... his console had a huge impact on my childhood and resulted in a lot of very fond memories. I told him I recognized him and he was very surprised by this, I suppose he doesn't get that a lot. After that, he insisted on buying my groceries that I had on the conveyor. My bill came to just over $70, enough to cover the tax of the console I had bought two decades prior.

tl;dr - Was a kid, got a lot of money by making a bet with an old rich dude, bought a 3DO, and Trip Hawkins paid my grocery bill.

bean_shadow posted:

Not many kids exist that give a huge drat about pep rally's outside of "We get out of class", much less the whole school.

Reminds me of people who share memes about how schools need to still make kids recite the Pledge of Allegiance, when I never knew one kid who liked it. I thought it was a waste of time and I still do.

It amazes me how quickly people forget what they were like as children and how other kids acted.

Horror_Business posted:

Not the most stdh of this stdh, but I feel like a "4" made out of 3 toothpicks is going to look pretty lovely.

fuckin breeders man posted:

it's supposed to be "IV", not "4", but the author couldn't even get that right

oldpainless posted:

I don't get the pledge thing either. The fact you decide to continue to live in and pay taxes to a country shows your devotion more than a pledge

Horror_Business posted:

Not the most stdh of this stdh, but I feel like a "4" made out of 3 toothpicks is going to look pretty lovely.

Horror_Business posted:

Not the most stdh of this stdh, but I feel like a "4" made out of 3 toothpicks is going to look pretty lovely.

Lord Chumley posted:

poo poo that didn't happen: fanaticism towards the loving 3D0

quote:

When, some ten years ago, this troper's middle school vice-principal got tired of trying and failing to expel him, she caught wind of his near-perfect national test scores (as compared to near-failing grades), and he got Kicked Upstairs into high school, mid-semester. When the high school figured that bit out, sometime after all the paperwork was signed and stamped, the staff was Not Amused - and let him graduate high school early, too.

quote:

When this troper was 14, he once spent the night at his stepcousin's house while their parents and mine were out celebrating my aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary...by going to a concert and then to an all-night casino (where they apparently cleaned house). Anyway, around 2AM, my 16-year-old stepcousin wakes me up off the couch and quietly pulls me into her room. She asks me, "Would you like to sleep with me?", to which a raging hormone 14-year-old boy faced with the possibility of sex could only reply, "Ummm...sure, okay". Then she follows up with, "One condition: We never tell anybody about this and we never talk about it again". Again, what other answer can a healthy adolescent give than, "Ummm...okay"? And you know what? It wasn't that bad, the subject never came up again, and the next Christmas morning was only the slightest bit awkward. All in all, nothing to regret about it, other than the lingering curiosity as to why I was the lucky guy whose bones were jumped. Leading theory is: I was available. And willing.

quote:

This troper was told by his girlfriend that for a while she was worried we were cousins or second-cousins, since our families both came from one rather...backwater town. She also said that she probably wouldn't have told me that she wouldn't have told me. To make matters more amusing, his aunt has made incest jokes about him and her grandchild. And his mother noticed that he'd built leg muscle and fondled his thigh for a few seconds in the car. This troper finds it more hilarious than squick, though.

quote:

This Troper and her female cousin were playing a game when I was about nine and she's several years younger than me. In the game one of us was king and the other was queen and my bedroom was full of imaginary subjects we ordered around. At one point, we made-out (no tongue, thankfully) and sort of rubbed against one another on this troper's bed and the word 'sex' was said. I wasn't and still am not attracted to her, and I doubt she was or is to me. Other than the closed-lipped kissing and mild rubbing, nothing ever came of it, but I am still freaked out whenever I think about it. Horribly freaked. She, on the other hand, probably has no memory of it, which I am both thankful for and irritated at.

quote:

When this troper was around nine years old, her two-months-older but precocious male cousin asked her to take her clothes off for him. This troper didn't quite understand why her cousin would want that, but she was old enough to sense that these were waters too deep for her to swim in. Cousin pleaded, and finally this troper smiled and kindly said she would remove her shoes and socks. Even at age nine, she knew how to be a Literal Genie.

quote:

This troper and his younger cousin used to tie each other up with skipping ropes as children. We never really dropped this as we grew older, although we both stopped mentioning it whenever someone else was around. It grew to the point where we would go to our rooms in secret to tie each other up, with none of our family ever suspecting anything was amiss. We would lie on the bed, and I would hold her mouth shut with my hands, arms behind her back, and we would just watch T.V. We never said anything, but I'm sure we both knew there was an attraction. She ended up staying over night at my house when we were both 17, and I felt her up as she slept. Of course, it turns out she wasn't really sleeping. We never said anything, went to bed, and unfortunately haven't had a chance to visit since then. I would totally be up for going further, however...

yeah I eat rear end posted:

More importantly, he's the least funny man alive.

Henchman of Santa posted:

55-year-old comedian Dan Nainan has been scoring interview after interview with various publications about his story as a millennial who left a cushy job to be a successful comic, a millennial undecided voter, a millennial who voted for Obama and then Trump, etc. He is also a lunatic who harasses every comic who makes fun of this obvious bullshit and even said he would fight one to the death on the Isle of Man.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/01/05/the-media-s-favorite-millennial-is-a-55-year-old-comedian.html

life is killing me posted:

These troper tales keep getting creepier and more self-aggrandizing somehow, which I didn't think was possible.

And at least one of them might be bragging about statutory rape because how else do you get people to think you're cool than make poo poo up like that

Zelder posted:

It's extremely cool that I'm going to live to see the death of journalism and possibly the death of information as we know it

quote:

“So yesterday on my flight to Vancouver I was watching Supergirl, more specifically, the episode where Alex comes out to Kara. I had headphones on but I was watching it with subtitles, which I do a lot because it is hard for me to understand spoken english sometimes. After Kara tells Alex to go get the girl, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I pause, the guy next to me trying to get my attention. Guy tells me I’m being inconsiderate and disrespectful becausr there were kids on the flight. I shouldn’t expose them to “gay abomination”. I pointed out that the audio is off, but even so, there’s nothing wrong with kids being exposed to queer character, queer heroes on TV. He says it’s wrong, I tell him that a lot of kids are already queer and that I’m sure they’re happy to have their sexuality represented on TV. He gets upset, calls me “one of those disgusting dykes” and “a loving n*****”. He tells the flight attendant he must switch seats ASAP. I usually don’t let those things get to me, but I was emotional from leaving my home and my family behind, so I got visibly upset. She asks me what’s wrong, I tell her the guy has been attacking me with racial slurs and homophobic comments; the woman behind me backs me up. Guy outright tells FA he absolutely can’t stand sitting next to someone as filthy as me. Of course, I get livid, as well as those around me. FA tells him she’ll solve the problem and leaves, then she comes back and tell me I’ve been upgraded to 1st class, free of charge. Guy is outraged, FA claps back, “You wanted her gone, so she is. Stop disrupting the flight or you’ll have the police waiting upon landing”. I get to First Class, I’m still livid, I take my laptop out and keep watching Supergirl because I can, I love the show and gently caress homophobia. After Alex & Maggie kiss, I notice the woman next to staring at my screen so I brrace myself for yet another argument. Thankfully, I’m wrong. She asks if I like Supergirl, I tell her it’s one of my favorite shows. She tells me her daughter loves it & actually got her to watch it. She asksme if I’m alright, and I tell her no–I’m still angry–then tell her what happened. Once I’m done, she tells me Supergirl helped her. Because her BFF of 35 years came out to her as a lesbian and at first, she jusy couldn’t accept it. It went against her beliefs. It was wrong. But watching Alex Danvers’ journey with her daughter “who, mind you, I’m sure she’s a little bit gay” helped her understand her best friend. She told me she saw her best friend’s struggles reflected in Alex. That Alex helped her understand what her best friend was going through. And basically thanks to Supergirl she got past her own prejudice and wrongful belief and now their frienship is stronger than ever. She told me she also joined a group for parents of LGBTQ kids cause she wants to be ready when her daughter comes out to her. It was a happy coincidence that I got to meet a kind and understanding human being after experiencing a very uncomfortable situation”

GreenMetalSun posted:

Of all the poo poo that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Horror_Business posted:

I'm not giving you $500 for that weak-rear end 4.

System Metternich posted:

I don't think I've ever read anything where someone was described as being “visibly upset“ that wasn't really obvious stdh