Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I've only ever gotten a couple interviews from online applications; the signal-to-noise ratio on them is so low they barely count as an application. The vast majority of my job interviews have been through recruiters (either in-house recruiters I got in contact with or independent recruiters who fell upon my software-engineer resume like salivating wolves when I put it on a job site one time)

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:06

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# ? May 9, 2024 04:26

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

The_Franz posted:

Depends. Some managers really don't want to hire overqualified people who will obviously take off the second something better comes along.

Who's overqualified?

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:27

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

I got my first job when the company found my resume somewhere and cold called me

Helped that I lived 2 miles away, but still

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:30

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

Just go teach English abroad. What could possibly go wrong?

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:35

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Hi there, anon who is terrified of dying in a plane crash and being eaten by crabs despite logically knowing that's unlikely to happen. A big part of that ties into how freaked out by crustaseans and dead fish I am in general. The seafood aisle in any store is my personal torture chamber because all I see are the dead eyed fish staring at me like I stole their soul and the lifeless frozen crabs, judging me.

This all combined with planes because my first trip on a plane was to the East Coast and a few days after getting there the TWA flight 800 crash happened. I was with my grandparents (who house the den of my crack rodent father) and my grandpa came up behind me with a lobster while I was watching the coverage of the flight on t.v. He tapped me on the shoulder and then shoved the lobster in face talking about how they were delicious despite eating dead things. It freaked me out and then later that night I had a horrible nightmare that I was being eaten by lobsters after dying in a plane crash because that's how my 9 year old brain decided to interpret everything.

A couple of times a year I'll have that dream with twists like being laughed at by dead fish or it turns out I'm actually the crab/lobster/horrific dead sea creature and I'm eating myself. The worst was when I dreamed I was at a family dinner where we were serving crabs and then the crabs came to life to eat me while my entire family watched and laughed. Logically I know my terrifying (to me) sea creature dreams are just a manifestation of my anxiety and poo poo but at the end of the day I still avoid the seafood aisle. I once had a panic attack because some friends took me to a fancy seafood restaurant as a surprise for my birthday and then it was like I was surrounded by the creatures that crave my flesh.

This is a confession because who the hell is terrified of crabs?

The seafood restaurant sounds like it should have been great, actually. Eat those fuckers right back! :v:

Seriously though this is an extremely specific phobia but a believable one because I'm largely the same way about spiders (w/r/t the dreams mostly). The main difference is that instead of being scared of plane rides and supermarket sections, if I see a spider in my house I absolutely have to kill it because I don't feel safe knowing it's alive in my home somewhere.

quote:

I had my sexual awakening to the movie Gremlins 2: The New Batch. The female gremlin, of course. If you don't know who I'm talking about, I suggest you do a quick image search. You won't be disappointed.

She's cute, curvy, loving, and has that Gremlin attitude that makes her so appealing to me.

I have tried to find a girlfriend since then but nobody compares to her. I dream about her marrying me (like in the movie) a lot.

The subject line on this one was "Gremlins 2: The New Batch... of cum" so I'm not taking it the most seriously ever

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:43

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i too hate walking past the seafood aisle but thats because it smells extremely bad

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:46

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

The red head lady in that movie is what gave me a thing for red heads.

# ? Jan 7, 2017 16:50

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

Uh phoebe cates you fools

# ? Jan 7, 2017 17:19

Darth Freddy: Feb 6, 2007; An Emperor's slightest dislike is transmitted to those who serve him, and there it is amplified into rage.

TKIY posted:

@UTI Goon:

I (male) had a UTI once and yeah the urge to just go and then go again and then again was agonizing.

The best part was having to convince my doctor that I had a UTI and that I didn't get the clap from cheating on my wife. They just wouldn't loving believe me no matter how many times I told them that I've never cheated.

I had my first kidney stone over the new year and one of the things a doctor kept on asking was about my sex life and my wife's sex life. rear end in a top hat.

Darth Freddy fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Jan 7, 2017

# ? Jan 7, 2017 18:42

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

I'm the tech oriented arts degree lmao wtf

# ? Jan 7, 2017 19:53

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Darth Freddy posted:

I had my first kidney stone over the new year and one of the things a doctor kept on asking was about my sex life and my wife's sex life. rear end in a top hat.

Ah yes kidney stone or uti. Good cover.

# ? Jan 7, 2017 21:43

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Waroduce posted:

I'm the tech oriented arts degree lmao wtf

if you somehow got onto a geography arts degree i can see it but i also don't know if those are a thing

# ? Jan 7, 2017 21:44

TotalLossBrain: Oct 20, 2010; Hier graben!

Jose posted:

if you somehow got onto a geography arts degree i can see it but i also don't know if those are a thing

I take "tech-oriented arts degree" as 'video gaem graphics design'. I have a couple of friends that have been to these programs and are now employed in retail and service industries.

# ? Jan 7, 2017 21:54

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

yeah if a geography degree taught someone how to use any of the GIS software tehy'd be employable

# ? Jan 7, 2017 21:57

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

TotalLossBrain posted:

I take "tech-oriented arts degree" as 'video gaem graphics design'. I have a couple of friends that have been to these programs and are now employed in retail and service industries.

I thought it was web design, which is actually fairly marketable but which would probably require an internship to get a full-time spot :shrug:

either way, anon, learn web design

# ? Jan 7, 2017 22:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I used to be involved in a local garbage wrestling fed (if you know wrestling, think a sub-CZW) that involved a bunch of us beating each other up with light tubes, nail guns, weedwhackers, etc. My name was Bobby Slam, I was a big chubby dude who slammed people around, and that was my main source of entertainment and income from the ages of 17 to 20. Don't get delusions of this being a good source of money - I was being tossed off ladders every weekend and making around 20 dollars a show plus a cold cut sandwich, a bag of chips, and a faygo soda.

That was also a really long time ago and I'm honestly ashamed of a lot of it. A lot of guys I wrestled are now crippled or have other physical issues since none of us were trained or had any idea what we were doing. One guy was "famous" for his multiple headbutts and now he's suffering from depression and sometimes can't remember his kids names. All I can think of is wrestling him at Death-a-mania and smashing a cookie sheet on his head and it makes me realize how much damage we did to each other for such minimal payoff.

Nobody I knew made it big in wrestling, none of us made any money, and most of us don't even talk about it since the fed shut down almost a decade ago. I have a normal job now and I still worry somebody might recognize me one of these days.

quote:

For the last year or so I have been able to work full time at something most people consider a dream job. I get to be creative, I get to work with my friends, and I get to interact with fans. I have more than one successful youtube channel, I have a website with the backlog of our work, and I have even met and worked with people in the industry we started off making videos about.

My confession is that I completely lost my passion over the last year. We also created a Patreon, with the express purpose of quitting our day to day jobs and working 100% on being creative. Which I realize now was a mistake. So much of our creativity began as a way to deal with the mundane parts of life. Now we have turned being creative into a mundane thing, since fans pay money every month and we provide content.

Which is good, yay capitalism and I still can't believe we get paid for making goofy internet videos. But I constantly worry about the well drying up creatively, or the fans moving on and our income disappearing.

I had an okay job before this, but I imagine it will be really hard to find work if I have a multi year gap on my resume and have to explain that "Internet content creator/D list celeb" is a marketable skill.

It doesn't help that the group of friends who started this have started to change as soon as serious money was introduced. Egos (I'm guilty of this too), arguments over the most popular characters, major blow out fights over making deadlines.... I worry a lot.

# ? Jan 8, 2017 02:28

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Owning your own business usually looks good on resumes.

# ? Jan 8, 2017 02:39

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Oh someone from TeamFourStar is a goon?

# ? Jan 8, 2017 02:49

Arven: Sep 23, 2007

VanSandman posted:

Oh someone from TeamFourStar is a goon?

I was gonna say RLM

# ? Jan 8, 2017 04:21

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Homestar Runner

# ? Jan 8, 2017 04:25

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

VanSandman posted:

Oh someone from TeamFourStar is a goon?

If it was TFS they could get poo poo out more than they do! Pretty sure they are all still working normal jobs less I missed something?

# ? Jan 8, 2017 05:27

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Regardless it kinda does make me think about the wages of success on passion.

# ? Jan 8, 2017 12:01

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

hire some hookers and do some shameful stuff and that will get you being creative again

# ? Jan 8, 2017 12:12

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Sorry about your mundane existence, Gurf.

# ? Jan 8, 2017 15:43

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Patreon man you should subscribe to my Youtube channel.

# ? Jan 8, 2017 19:07

stringball: Mar 17, 2009

Yogscast, mega 64, Freddy wong are the goons who are popular on YouTube is who I can remember off the top of my head

mega64 probably loves doing what they do, and I'm sure I've missed a couple popular goons

# ? Jan 8, 2017 19:24

stringball: Mar 17, 2009

And because I can't edit by mega64 at least Rocco is but not sure on the rest

# ? Jan 8, 2017 19:27

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

stringball posted:

Yogscast, mega 64, Freddy wong are the goons who are popular on YouTube is who I can remember off the top of my head

mega64 probably loves doing what they do, and I'm sure I've missed a couple popular goons

i too have an encyclopedic knowledge of youtubers and a mlp av...

NOTTTTTT

# ? Jan 8, 2017 19:31

RatHat: Dec 31, 2007; A tiny behatted rat👒🐀!

stringball posted:

Yogscast, mega 64, Freddy wong are the goons who are popular on YouTube is who I can remember off the top of my head

mega64 probably loves doing what they do, and I'm sure I've missed a couple popular goons

The confession says "the last year or so" though, those channels have been popular for much longer than that.

RatHat fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Jan 9, 2017

# ? Jan 8, 2017 22:52

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

I'm guessing the ole Chapo Trap House boys.

# ? Jan 9, 2017 00:03

skeemon: Aug 4, 2007; $ $ $T R A P L O R D $ $ $

Bip Roberts posted:

I'm guessing the ole Chapo Trap House boys.

Their whole style is chump

# ? Jan 9, 2017 02:09

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Just to preface, I am not crazy, I am a highly educated (PhD in physics) well-respected person in my personal and academic community. That said, my confession is that I've recently become obsessed with demonology and the occult. It started a couple years ago when I was in Italy for a conference. I stayed an extra week to celebrate my 30th birthday and visited Vatican City. It started out just gaining interest in Catholocism in general after finding the Museums interesting, but within a few months I was reading any material on demons and demonic possession I could get my hands on. I started to become convinced that the highest levels of the Catholic Church as well as the European and American governments have been infiltrated by demons.

People made a big deal about Hillary Clinton's Moloch stuff, but it was mostly a smokescreen - she may be possessed, but if she is I think she was just a scapegoat lower level demon to keep people from seeing the true Evil (Trump mostly). I've tried reaching out and sent close to 50 letters asking for help and offering my knowledge to the researchers at the Vatican, but they have all been ignored. I went to several Catholic churches and described my beliefs to the priests that would speak to me. I've tried joining supposedly occult organizations like the Freemasons to try and find out more about them from within (they wouldn't let me join and acted like I was insane). All of them discourage me from pursuing this any further, leading me to believe the problem is more widespread than I first thought.

If the Church itself is corrupted to such an extent, I feel like all hope is lost, yet I also feel that I am being called on by God to fight this. Meanwhile, my academic work is suffering, my girlfriend of 6 years left me because this stuff was absorbing so much of my time and causing me high levels of stress that led me to lash out and become irritable, etc. Before this I wasn't particularly religious, and certainly didn't believe in things like demons, but the evidence seems incredibly clear and obvious now. I just wish I could find someone likeminded so I wouldn't have to face such a huge problem alone.

is this like a more Dan Brown version of Jerusalem Syndrome or something

(Jerusalem Syndrome is when a Christian, Muslim, or Jewish person visits Jerusalem and either generally becomes obsessed with religious iconography or specifically becomes convinced that they are the Second Coming / Messiah)

quote:

I have pretty bad anxiety that I've done a good job of defeating over the past couple of years IRL. But for some reason posting on a dead gay mostly anonymous internet message board scares the poo poo out of me. I've posted here sometimes, mostly in Games and sold some poo poo on SA Mart, but in my 12 years as a member I think I've made like 50 posts, and never in GBS, even though I read stuff here pretty much daily.

Anyway, a few months ago I started calling myself a piss bitch when I got tired exercising and it's a surprisingly good motivational technique, so thanks for that.

It turns out verbal self-abuse solves all your problems, who knew

# ? Jan 9, 2017 03:45

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

loquacius posted:

Ok assuming this is real, you realize if you get divorced your wife is getting some to most of that money, right? And probably she gets to keep the kid, too.

Don't go nuts planning your retirement just yet is all I'm saying. Also, maybe don't get divorced? Unless there's a ton of poo poo you left out, your main reasons for resenting her all have to do with financial problems that were not her fault any more than yours. Maybe try keeping her around and see how you feel after you get a little more comfortable.

I'm not a hot tub expert but that water has to get cycled out, right

right???

You didn't win 3 mill. After taxes you won 800k and your wife won 800k.

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:08

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

scrubs season six posted:

You didn't win 3 mill. After taxes you won 800k and your wife won 800k.

You'd have to be a real chump to actually pay full taxes on lotto winnings

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:14

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

I'm highly educated but here's a supernatural explanation for bad things happening.

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:29

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Hi social anxiety goon!

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:31

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

quote:

Just to preface, I am not crazy, I am a highly educated (PhD in physics) well-respected person in my personal and academic community

Actually this is a pretty good indicator of craziness.

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:46

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

I'm a butt doctor

E: a well respected butt doctor

Police Automaton fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Jan 9, 2017

# ? Jan 9, 2017 04:58