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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

The little kids make this gif.

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Marcade
Jun 11, 2006


Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?


So, did he or did he not dance all night?

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

Grandma accidentally dedicates years of worship to Elrond, Lord of Rivendell.

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!
You won't be laughing when she is the only one allowed into Valinor

Abugadu
Jul 12, 2004

1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Marcade posted:

So, did he or did he not dance all night?

:lol:

Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Marcade posted:

So, did he or did he not dance all night?

uvar
Jul 25, 2011

Avoid breathing
radioactive dust.
College Slice
http://twitter.com/brianstelter/status/818481557027647493

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013




That is a work of art.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
Baltimore Sun: Dundalk man charged with attempted murder after barricading self in house over grilled cheese dispute

It's what you'd expect. A man was angry when his wife took a bite of his sandwich, so he busted out a gun and fired a shot. His wife went downstairs, so he fired three more. One police standoff later, he surrendered. The kicker?

Baltimore Sun posted:

Police said Blackwell is not legally allowed to own guns because of prior assault convictions. Fifteen guns, four of them loaded, were found inside the home, police said.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
But how would a man who wasn't supposed to have guns get guns?! This guy sounds like bad news all around.

Veth
May 13, 2002
Homeless Pariah

Marcade posted:

So, did he or did he not dance all night?

Holy poo poo, I haven't seen a reference to that in forever.

Two Owls
Sep 17, 2016

Yeah, count me in

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Explorers find disease-cursed City of the Monkey God and nearly lose their faces to flesh-eating parasite

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

I can't stop laughing at that shadow. 4th dimensional panthers are loose!

Gravitas Shortfall
Jul 17, 2007

Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.


Dienes posted:

I can't stop laughing at that shadow. 4th dimensional panthers are loose!

Displacer Beast spotted in Watford, adventurers wanted

Sakurazuka
Jan 24, 2004

NANI?

Not the worst thing you'll find in Watford tbh

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give


You can't say the disease-cursed ruins didn't deliver.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

gleebster posted:

Baltimore Sun: Dundalk man charged with attempted murder after barricading self in house over grilled cheese dispute

It's what you'd expect. A man was angry when his wife took a bite of his sandwich, so he busted out a gun and fired a shot. His wife went downstairs, so he fired three more. One police standoff later, he surrendered. The kicker?

Report: Man arrested for assaulting girlfriend with a taco

Blount County Sheriff's Office deputies arrested a Maryville man after he threatened to burn down his girlfriend's house and assaulted her with a taco, according to a report from the sheriff's office.

Steven Erwin Stokes, 47, of Maryville is charged with domestic assault, aggravated domestic assault, failure to appear to in court for a misdemeanor charge and contempt of court, according to the Blount County Sheriff's Office.

The report states an argument started Friday afternoon when Stokes learned his 46-year-old girlfriend had a profile on an online dating website.

The girlfriend's adult nephew lives with her and returned from work while the couple argued. The report states Stokes "hit her in the face" and "was tearing up the house."

...

When the girlfriend picked up the phone, Stokes picked up a taco. He then pressed the taco into his girlfriend's face and pushed her down the hallway, according to BCSO's report.

The girlfriend yelled for her nephew to call the police, but Stokes threatened to attack the nephew if he made the call. Instead of calling the police, the nephew called a neighbor.

Stokes attacked the nephew, grabbing him by the neck with both hands.

Responding officers noticed "severe redness" on the nephew's neck. On the girlfriend, officers saw "remnants of a taco smeared on her face, as well as her black shirt."

Officers observed a cake and additional taco remnants on the kitchen floor.

http://www.wbir.com/news/crime/bcso-maryville-man-arrested-for-assault-with-taco/385161219

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Largest ever shark was doomed by its taste for dwarf whales

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Has anyone heard of #Indycamp?

Following the referendum on Scottish independence a couple of years ago, an obscure group decided to get together and camp out in front the Scottish parliament building and refused to move until Scotland became independent. The Scottish government has sought to evict them, and they have since been going through the court system.

This is a summary of the proceedings earlier in the week, compiled from the Twitter feed of BBC journalist Philip Sim, with some of the more unusual bits and pieces highlighted:

quote:

Court is in; Lady Dorrian in the chair, with Lords Glennie and Menzies alongside. Mr Keatings, speaking for four campers, asks Lady Dorrian to recuse herself; she refuses. He says the case is proceeding "under duress". Lady Dorrian says today's #IndyCamp hearing is scheduled to last 30 minutes. Ambitious. I've brought a packed lunch.

Mr Keatings argues that #indycamp case is a matter of public importance; says campers were denied a fair hearing in original case. Mr Keatings says the time limit put on his submissions in the first appeal left it "like a game show"; so ruling was "unsafe". Mr Keatings says "a fair minded individual" would see that "judicial intervention ultimately prejudices the case". Mr Keatings argues he was prevented from making all of his points in first appeal. Also unhappy case didn't appear in Sheriff Courts first. This was an "egregious" abuse of power, Mr Keatings says. Now arguing the parly's corporate body is using public money with no oversight.

Mr Keatings now arguing Parly broke Facebook's terms & conditions by taking posts off social media without permission. "Serious in itself". Mr Keatings says Parly taking photos from #IndyCamp Facebook page was "clear violation of privacy"; cites "snooper's charter". Mr Keatings says campers were under surveillance by parly; camp was their home, so they were "entitled to a private life" there. ​
Mr Keatings is arguing that the electoral system is skewed towards the Union. Lady Dorrian tells him to stick to the point. Mr Keatings says the makeup of the SPCB (one MSP from each party) and its "inherent bias" is a matter of public interest. Mr Keatings is now singling out SPCB member @andywightman for criticism, as a reason why #IndyCamp should be allowed Supreme Court appeal

It's now been 30 minutes since Lady Dorrian said #IndyCamp hearing was down to last 30 minutes. Mr Keatings is talking about David & Goliath

Mr Keatings argues that #IndyCamp case is of public interest as it's been "splattered all over social media" and the press. Mr Keatings says he got involved with #IndyCamp case as it's been a "political steamroller from start to finish" running over the campers. Courts are meant to defend the rights of individuals, Mr Keatings says. All he's seen so far is courts limiting them. #IndyCamp

Mr Keatings says if Court doesn't allow #IndyCamp appeal, "we'll take it to Strasbourg, we'll scream, we'll shout". He then leaves the court. Mr Keatings says he has to go represent someone at a DWP hearing; he leaves the court. Lady Dorrian is shaking her head. #IndyCamp

Another #IndyCamp respondent, Mr Gemmill, is up now. He says "what's happening in this court is corruption at the highest level." Mr Gemmill says this matter has to be dealt with in Scottish court; Lady Dorrian asks if he's withdrawing UK appeal bid; he says no. Mr Gemmill: "nobody can get a fair hearing in a court of law in this country". Court is not impartial; "complicit" in ensuring campers lose. "This action must be heard under common law" by a jury, Mr Gemmill says; #IndyCamp shouldn't be judged by a judge, but by the people.

Mr Gemmill is talking about the sale of the Scottish Parliament building. The judges have stopped taking notes.
Mr Gemmill is now questioning where the Scottish Parliament gets its money from. Mr Gemmill now reads out the constituency address of James Dornan MSP; I think he's arguing this is a sort of outpost of the Parliament. Lady Dorrian asks how this relates to the fundamental question of whether Supreme Court appeal should be allowed. "Corruption," he says. Mr Gemmill says the Supreme Court "has been proven to be corrupt". "Its your application" to appeal there, Lady Dorrian points out. "I'm not going to give you legal advice Mr Gemmill," says Lady Dorrian. "Little point in labouring point" about corruption of Supreme Court. Mr Gemmill says "this court is causing the people of Scotland harm. This court is supporting the UK government."

Mr McFarlane up next. Lady Dorrian outlines very specifically points that should be discussed today. He calls her "Mrs Dorrian".

Mr McFarlane says "Mrs Dorrian" has ties to Brodies and should have recused herself. Cites the Book of Ezekiel as the authority for this. Lady Dorrian asks Mr McFarlane, who is reading bible quotes, to address law recognised by the court. He says court has no lawful authority. Mr McFarlane says the judges are appointed by the Queen, and as she's not a legitimate monarch they have no authority. Mr McFarlane says Scotland should only seek independence through a Biblical jubilee, not the "fascist and Nazi-founded EU".

"The fact is that Christ is here in a new human body" Mr McFarlane says. Lady Dorrian asks if religious texts are the only things he's using.

Lord Menzies asks what proof Mr McFarlane has of Lady Dorrians links to Brodies. He says it was in the Herald. Lord Menzies says just because something is in the Herald may not make it true. Mr McFarlane says the Herald is a quality publication. Mr McFarlane hands over some paperwork from Companies House, which Lord Menzies is now perusing

Mr McFarlane is now talking about how doctors are clearly biased against benefits claimants. Refers to campers as "the Jedi". Mr McFarlane says the #IndyCamp judges have "hardened their hearts" against the Lord's wishes. Gods Law is the only law, he says. "The three judges work for the government," Mr McFarlane says; they swore oath of allegiance to "Mrs Battenburg, also known as QE2".

"The return of the Jedi is upon you," Mr McFarlane tells #IndyCamp judges. Now calls EU a "Babylonian dictatorship of evil".

Mr McFarlane says Deuteronomy 17:15 is biblical precedent for why Scotland should be free of the EU. Mr McFarlane now cites Romans 6/23; says two billion people will die in world war three if the true Stone of Destiny is not brought out. Mr McFarlane says he doesn't understand how anyone could oppose the second Christ "unless you are criminally insane and working for Satan".

The judges have a quick huddle; then quickly return and refuse bid for #IndyCamp Supreme Court appeal. No public interest, court adjourned. As the judges leave the court, one camper shouts "Traitors! Rats leaving the sinking ship!"

Mr Keatings confirms #IndyCamp will submit written appeal bid direct to the Supreme Court. If that's refused, it's on to Strasbourg

Here's the Biblical precedent for Brexit Scottish judges were given today; "thou mayest not set a stranger over thee"

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
That made my night. How I love that kind of thing.

"Mrs. Battenburg" is lovely, as is the Deuteronomy business.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Friendship is magically delicious.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010


Apparently the restaurant serve meat from old and dying animals that are of little use for much else, and even rats if you want to try something more post apocalyptic.

Intoluene
Jul 6, 2011

Activating self-destruct sequence!
Fun Shoe

The MSJ posted:

Apparently the restaurant serve meat from old and dying animals that are of little use for much else, and even rats if you want to try something more post apocalyptic.

You know what, I'd try rat if it was prepared properly.

Radio Paranoia
Jun 27, 2010

It is now safe to turn off your computer.

Intoluene posted:

You know what, I'd try rat if it was prepared properly.

Hell, I'd try anything if it was prepared properly.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Intoluene posted:

You know what, I'd try rat if it was prepared properly.

Grilled on an overturned chainlink fence and paid for with a Rolex?

josiahgould
Nov 10, 2009

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Intoluene posted:

You know what, I'd try rat if it was prepared properly.

Well, Demolition Man led me to beli...



MOTHERFUCKER!

Humerus
Jul 7, 2009

Rule of acquisition #111:
Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.


Is Florida cheating? Whatever.

Angry Key West woman really had to pee. Now she is charged with her second felony in a month.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

She's basically guaranteed a Presidential pardon.

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006


Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?

Intoluene posted:

You know what, I'd try rat if it was prepared properly.

What, with ketchup? Only, ketchup's extra.

Count Uvula
Dec 20, 2011

---

Solice Kirsk posted:

The little kids make this gif.

I see no evidence this gif was made by a child of any sort.

Elohssa Gib
Aug 30, 2006

Easily Amused
Man trying to hide arrest, makes arrest go viral
http://www.waynetimes.com/news/story-goes-viral-afer-newark-man-scoops-hundreds-times-newspapers-attempt-hide-dwi-arrest/

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh


Holy hell.... I have a lot of aging to do in 2 years.

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

I like the comment white-knighting the drunk driver.

Shikantaza
Sep 10, 2016
RSPCA warns of false alarms after call to catch cuddly toy
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38633548

eek snek

L0cke17
Nov 29, 2013

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3515202/Man-reported-police-Sweden-doing-revenge-fart-woman-denied-sex.html

Man is reported to police in Sweden for doing a 'revenge fart' after woman denied him sex

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



L0cke17 posted:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3515202/Man-reported-police-Sweden-doing-revenge-fart-woman-denied-sex.html

Man is reported to police in Sweden for doing a 'revenge fart' after woman denied him sex


The linked Swedish article has a followup:
http://www.hallandsposten.se/nyheter/laholm/polisen-utreder-inte-stinkande-h%E4mndfis-1.307100

Rough translation:

quote:

The Laholm police are not going to investigate the smelly fart.

Sunday, a woman in Laholm pressed charges against a man for "disturbance". He had left her apartment with a stinking cheeser as she did not want to have sex with him.

- "Disturbance" requires malicious intent. In this case it cannot be proven that he "laid this fart" on purpose. Whether it was especially malicious, I cannot say either, says Kenneth Person, chief investigator at Laholm Police.

The police are required by law to receive all "charge-presses".

- We can't refuse to receive a charge from someone, but afterwards, a higher-up can drop the case. So it went in this case, says Kenneth Persson.

(man it's kinda hard to translate between two second languages)

E: Corrected cheese(r) typo

Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 21:26 on Jan 16, 2017

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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Powaqoatse posted:

The linked Swedish article has a followup:
http://www.hallandsposten.se/nyheter/laholm/polisen-utreder-inte-stinkande-h%E4mndfis-1.307100

Rough translation:


(man it's kinda hard to translate between two second languages)

Good thing sex and farts are universal. :v:

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