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Cleanliness is next to godliness so if you poo poo on your floor you're a demon
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:26 |
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# ? May 12, 2024 16:06 |
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That robot story is seriously good but it needs a visual aid. Goons?
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:33 |
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I AM A DRUG PUSHER ROBOT
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:03 |
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Robot victim really needs to lay off the drugs, they are making you paranoid and delusional.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:08 |
CaptainJuan posted:I AM A DRUG PUSHER ROBOT I am protected! (by having lovely insurance)
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:18 |
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That robot story did make me chuckle but only because of how earnest the author is being. Like Jason Statham describing his antics in Spy.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:48 |
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Beep boop must key car
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:51 |
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loquacius posted:I'm gonna be honest with you, this sounds believable both as a story and as a family legend and I'm not really sure how your conclusion after hearing everything is "ok SOME possessions are real though". I dunno, I'm not Catholic and haven't really spoken to any serious Catholics about demons, maybe it's A Thing for them There are apparently college courses and people that "research" demonology, but it's not clear whether they believe in them in a literal sense or if it's more of a metaphor or something and consider things like alcoholism to be a "demon". Getting an actual exorcism seems to be a big pain in the rear end and they make you jump through a lot of hoops to make sure you aren't just looking for an excuse to tie your mentally ill grandma to a bed and throw water at her, so to me it seems like it's the kind of thing where they don't want to outright say there aren't demons, but they also don't want to waste time on something they know is just a placebo. If true possessions were real and exorcisms could drive them out and make them do supernatural stuff, there would be non-faked video of it by now. If it is real I guess it would be a terrible ordeal you wouldn't necessary want to remember, but at least one relative would be thinking of how many youtube bucks they could rake in and whip out their phone.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:12 |
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free basket of chips posted:I don't get the trope that people possessed spread poo poo and vomit everywhere. Thats not demonic, just unclean. Some missionary must have seen someone with Ebola or some other disease where you spew out of both ends and assumed it was demonic. yeah I eat rear end posted:If true possessions were real and exorcisms could drive them out and make them do supernatural stuff, there would be non-faked video of it by now. Also true for UFOs, Bigfoot, etc.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:20 |
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Those robots are gunna take yer jawb pill goon
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:02 |
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Sjs00 posted:That robot story is seriously good but it needs a visual aid. Goons? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eRzBNzVohc
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:14 |
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Nocheez posted:A bar in my hometown has Keno run by the Ohio lottery. They keep "waste" baskets for losing tickets, and people who hit the big prizes that are taxable can take enough losing tickets and have them negate the tax burden. Since all the tickets are bought with cash, the government never knows who really purchased them. Sounds legit until one person decides to cash in on the IRS reward for turning in tax cheats.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:38 |
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<Robot story> Made up, or the robot engineer is the real creeper. If one tries to follow you into the bathroom you'll know.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 22:04 |
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free basket of chips posted:I don't get the trope that people possessed spread poo poo and vomit everywhere. Thats not demonic, just unclean. It's a trope because of The Exorcist. Most of the modern depictions of possessions come from that.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 22:12 |
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RatHat posted:It's a trope because of The Exorcist. Most of the modern depictions of possessions come from that. Just like how spotting an unknown furry creature used to be "the wolfman" and now it's "bigfoot"
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 22:16 |
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420 SWAGLORD posted:please stop owning me and if you ever stumble across a big ol pile of money just talk to a good accountant/tax attorney before you pick it up ok? I'm just trying to help in case you win the lotto. Also you owe me $500.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 22:25 |
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I got you robot guy
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 23:05 |
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i'm buying my first property on monday and i'm bricking it
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 23:30 |
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Jose posted:i'm buying my first property on monday and i'm bricking it How much bricking does it need?
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 23:40 |
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Moridin920 posted:Sounds legit until one person decides to cash in on the IRS reward for turning in tax cheats. Just in case anyone wants to collect their cool 15-30% of collected taxes: Remember that snitches get stitches.
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 23:43 |
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therattle posted:How much bricking does it need? the chimney needs work but the housing association are paying for it
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# ? Jan 10, 2017 23:46 |
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WampaLord posted:Some missionary must have seen someone with Ebola or some other disease where you spew out of both ends and assumed it was demonic. That reminds me of that TV series where people earnestly go out and search for Bigfoot. Naturally only at night, and while doing random Bigfoot calls :douchechill:
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 01:43 |
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Omg 42 year old lady, if the Finnish dude is Tony Kakko then please back off, he is mine.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 01:57 |
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quote:My wife and I got married in college after about 4 months of dating. It was way too fast and I would re-do things if I could, but it's too late now. Spoken like a man who has not yet found his fetish I dunno dude I'd try some porn honestly. Best case, you can figure out what turns you on, and hopefully it's something you can actually use in the bedroom; worst case you broaden your horizons a little bit. I imagine the pressure aspect isn't helping you much either; you can probably learn something from just taking care of yourself without your wife in the picture. Explore your mind and body. quote:I let my ego and libido run my life in my early 30s and am paying the price for it now. No offense dude but you did not handle your divorce very well I dunno, my wife's parents have been divorced basically her whole life and her dad has been very much a huge part of her life anyway. If you let yourself drift from your kids, only so much of that can be blamed on the divorce. Like, I'm not gonna take the bait and say you shouldn't have gotten divorced, because you don't seem sad to have split up with your ex-wife, at all. You only seem to care about your kids. Your ex is an afterthought here. Basically, my thought is that if you're not sad about the divorce, it was the right thing to do. You just needed to be a more present divorced dad for your kids.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:06 |
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Yeah, I knew plenty of kids with divorced parents while I was growing up and most of their parents managed to be present and loving for their children despite the circumstances.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:17 |
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quote:We don't want her vagina stretched to the point I can't pleasure her anymore.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:35 |
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dude who can't gently caress: might as well get a bull
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:36 |
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You know vaginas don't stretch like that based on penis size, right? Lol virgin nerd. Such a big virgin that after having sex for years, he's still a loving virgin.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:39 |
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divorce goon posted:When we were married she weighed 127 lbs, and after our third son she exploded up to 160 lbs. I bought her a treadmill for Christmas and got her signed up for a lot of diet plans, but none of it worked. She lost a little bit of weight (maybe 10 lbs) but was still pretty grossly overweight. Seriously? She only gained 33 pounds and you divorced her? How short is she that 160 is "grossly overweight"? Is she only 4'2"? According to the CDC, the average adult woman in the US weighs 166.2 lbs. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm If this story is real and that's actually the primary reason for divorcing her....what a massive fuckwad this guy is.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:48 |
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Pearnicious posted:Seriously? She only gained 33 pounds and you divorced her? How short is she that 160 is "grossly overweight"? Is she only 4'2"? the average american is fat tho
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 03:54 |
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I think Donald J Trump is the pissbitch
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 04:04 |
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Pearnicious posted:If this story is real and that's actually the primary reason for divorcing her....what a massive fuckwad this guy is. Spoilers: it's not. A magic fuckin' spell wasn't the reason he was a lovely dad who's kids don't like him the second his divorce went through.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 04:08 |
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Sounds like you secretly lust after your personal trainer impotencegoon
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 04:22 |
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how much does this guy weigh lol
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 05:53 |
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alpaca diseases posted:Sounds like you secretly lust after your personal trainer impotencegoon yeah dudes totally just gay lol
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 06:01 |
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I don't believe divorce goon is real, but let's pretend. If you stop loving the mother of your kids because she gained weight while pregnant, you're probably a piece of poo poo person and your kids are lucky not to have you in their lives.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 07:03 |
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Ugh my bitch girlfriend is ballooning to slightly higher weight, also I had a couple of kids with her or whatever? gently caress this I'm done with this relationship.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 08:23 |
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Oh poo poo here come 50000 fat fingered posts about being owed sex just like the e/n confessions thread.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 10:13 |
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nah I just think it's funny that he's mad that she 'exploded' up to 160 pounds, especially after being pregnant 3 times? christ dude e: even at 150 she was 'grossly overweight' yikes
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 14:08 |
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# ? May 12, 2024 16:06 |
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I try to keep a veneer of plausibility over each confession, but I'll just come out and say that I think that one was a troll meant specifically to make people mad about his definition of "fat" which is why I responded earnestly about how actually the main problem is he's a lovely dad keep 'em guessing quote:My (soon to be) in laws are very religious. They do not believe in sex before marriage. When my fiance moved in with me there were some minor arguments, and my future father-in-law said he loved us both, but that we were sinning in the eyes of God. I told him that we had never had sex and did not plan on it until marriage, and this seemed to calm him down. quote:I lost my virgininty at 27 and I'm 34 now. In a happy relationship with great everything. The best part is that she satisfies my fetish. Which is watching people lose their virginities. She does the guys, I do the girls. Every now and then we will seek out a virgin, completely inexperienced. Like having had a kiss at most.
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# ? Jan 11, 2017 14:32 |