extra row of teeth posted:

Of course, I wholeheartedly agree. However if this dog was running around with a small child on the front lawn of a somewhat busy street with regular passersby and cars, there is no loving way that dog was being raised in a stable or loving environment. The way he ran around like a wolf and got yelled at looked like the perfect storm to raise a Cujo.

Regarding the Magda story, the only STDH feeling thing about it were the multiple charges/arrests yet she was still allowed to roam free. Even if she was a rich white lady that got constantly bailed out, there's no way she wouldn't be in huge trouble after the break in even if she required round the clock care.

Mirthless posted:

a wealthy white lady is not ever going to go to jail over something like this, the police department aren't going to spend months or years dealing with her lawyers over 30 days in jail and 200 hours of community service

Mirthless posted:

a wealthy white lady is not ever going to go to jail over something like this, the police department aren't going to spend months or years dealing with her lawyers over 30 days in jail and 200 hours of community service

there's a reason a lot of these people get away with crimes up to and literally including murder

lazorexplosion posted:

I don't care if pitbull did maul some folks he's still a good rapper.

quote:

My wife [27 F] of 9 years, is taking "sexy" pictures of herself at her cousins [F] house and I [29 M] don't know why shes doing it.
I have told my wife I don't like her taking naked or risky photos because I have two opinions on them:
first I think photos never really disappear.
second I feel like photos are meant to be shared.
My wife knows my opinion on this but insists she takes them because she wants to feel good about herself. She leaves and takes these types of photos with her female cousin's house while i'm at work. I tell her I don't want her to take those photos but she does it anyway. When I confront her she acts like there's no problem because she told me she was doing it before she did it. I can't help but think shes sending these photos to other people and is cheating on me because she has such little respect for my opinion. Am I thinking too much into this? Or is this a sign of cheating?
tl;dr: wife is taking sexy photos I dont approve of.
EDIT* I define sexy photos as pictures in lingerie, underwear, or clothing while posing in a seductive way. Ex: by bending over while having her rear end face the camera.

quote:

Just to provide another viewpoint: me, my cousins and aunts get together every now and then (all females) with bags of makeup, outfits, and gear just to take rad and often sensual pictures together. Its kind of a bonding thing that especially gives everyone a little boost in confidence.

almightyerin posted:

IDK that JustnoMIL sub is a little too much to be true to me. I know crazy knows no bounds but there is a sameness to all the stories with a little deviation. Like when everyone in there had their mother in law find their posts about them in the span of a few days spurring this rash of name changes. I've always thought that Magda story was horseshit. She updated about it again later under a different name and I think the woman had started stalking her again or something.

Sorry, that sub really irritates me for some reason.


Edit: Like the Gropecunt story guy.

quote:

TL;DR: Two years ago I agreed to let my Thai MIL move in even though it wasn’t necessary. She is (1) costing us money, (2) causing damage (unknowingly) in the relationships between my wife, me, and my two children (7M, 12F), and (3) wearing away at my sanity. I feel that she and my wife are in a codependent relationship. Or maybe I’m just being unfair?

Maybe this should also be in TIFU. Sorry this is so lengthy, but even the story below won’t capture it all…

My wife (41F) and I (38M) have been married for about 14 years. She is from Thailand; we met in Tokyo when I was in the military. Eventually we had children and her mother would travel from Thailand on a 6-month visa to help us out with the kids during the first few months. I’m grateful for that; it allowed my wife to recover and took some pressure off me.

So, fast forward to April 2015: I agreed to let my wife’s 60 y/o mother to move in with us and she did. My wife wanted to take care of her mother (because my MIL had taken care of her as a child) and believed she would have a better life in the U.S. I figured she could help with the kids and maybe my wife and I could spend more time together. My wife and I are completely different people in every way and our relationship could use the boost.

Things didn’t quite turn out as I had expected. Keep in mind while reading below the dotted line:

(1) MIL is still married and has housing, health care, and everything else she needs in Thailand – free.
(2) MIL has a 4th grade education and several medical issues including gout, which can leave her bedridden when it flares up.
(3) MIL can’t speak any English and seems to lack the motivation and/or ability to do this. She has no concept of personal space, no idea regarding (western) manners, and a very thin skin. If you bring anything up or if my kids get frustrated with her, she will start to cry and isolate herself to her bedroom for hours.

Every day is a challenge.

My MIL is the proverbial bull in a china shop – she’s always breaking things because she doesn’t know how to be gentle. I’ve replaced blinds, dishes and various other things she’s broken. She was cut off from giving our (then 5 y/o) son showers because she was too rough with him and would pinch his privates (seriously, wtf?). She’s forgetful; she’s locked herself out of the house while we’re at work, she’s left the deep freezer open on several occasions spoiling the food within, and our cat is always getting out because she forgets to close doors. My MIL tries to help but just doesn’t seem to be able to grasp basic concepts. She tries to wash clothes, but often ruins them because of incorrect settings and/or mixing colors. She tries to vacuum, but she can’t understand how to push the button to detach the dust container to empty it, so sometimes she’ll just try and use a broom. The list goes on and on.

My wife spends almost all of her free time with her mother. The two of them eat together, watch Thai television together on YouTube every evening (all evening), and spend most of the weekends together with local Thai friends. She spends almost no time with me or our kids as a result, and leaves me to handle homework, dinner, entertainment, etc. (for the record, I try to stay positive and not badmouth my MIL, but the kids are starting to figure things out on their own). My wife takes time off work every month to take my MIL to various medical appointments. We have to pay for 100% of this. We are fine financially, but we could save hundreds each month and save it for our kids, pay off our house early, etc. Again, medical care is free for her in Thailand! While on the topic of medical issues, I should mention that my MIL is borderline diabetic but my wife is always sneaking her sweets. I don’t understand this. At all.

Some things that happen just defy explanation. For example, we were recently traveling home by car from a small vacation when my MIL suddenly announces that she needs to poop. So I hit the next exit and pull up the gas station but it’s too late. She just yells “oooooohhhhheeeeeeee” and craps her pants. So my wife had to go into the gas station with her mother and help her get cleaned up. The entire gas station smells like a toilet as a result. I tried to air out the car, but there was some liquid on the seat that had leaked through her pants. I mean WOW. To be clear, her mother does not have issues with incontinence or anything. She just “thought she could hold it.” She had no shame, offered no apologies or explanation – she just laughed it off and started talking about what to eat for dinner.

So that’s about maybe 40% of what’s been going on. I’m leaving a LOT out. I could write a book on this stuff.

I try to communicate to my wife that all of the above bothers me, but… Whenever I bring up an issue regarding my MIL (e.g., “Please tell your mother not to stick her fingers into that bowl of pasta – everybody is eating from that so use the tongs.”), my wife gets defensive. Doesn’t matter how diplomatic I am. And what really makes me angry is that instead of asking her mother to correct the behavior, my wife will tell her mother that I said her hands are dirty or something like that. In other words, I’m the bad guy. Her mother can do no wrong.

People have asked me how I handle this situation because they see what’s going on, and in the past I’ve just shrugged it off. However, more recently I’ve been opening up to close friends and my parents and they’ve been supportive. But it’s not enough. I need a serious change because this situation and the resulting stress are affecting my entire life.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

would they need to press charges even in a case of fairly serious crimes? I mean, she tried to kidnap a kid, attacked multiple police officers(!), stalking someone and breaking into their house to kill their fuckin dog... I dunno how criminal law works in the US really, but that seems kind of insane

Mirthless posted:

edit: VVV good point VVV

just uh please don't get a pit bull, millennials, there are enough of them in the shelters by now that you should know they're too much for you to handle

quote:

If you bring anything up or if my kids get frustrated with her, she will start to cry and isolate herself to her bedroom for hours.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I've never checked out JustNoMIL but is it anything like this:

I (38M) Made a Mistake by Agreeing With My Wife (41F) to Bring Her Mother-In-Law (62F) to Live With Us.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

The victim doesn't "press charges" in a criminal case, the state does, but a huge amount is up to the DA's and police discretion and if the victims aren't champing at the bit to hang the defendant they might just decide not to prosecute, even on fairly major stuff. Pretty much what happened with the guy who broke into my house and tried to strangle a tenant in his bed, the strangle-ee skipped town before the court date and since I was the only witness who'd been there through the whole thing who bothered show up and by that point of the stated opinion that dude had a point they just dropped the case right there in the courthouse lobby.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

The victim doesn't "press charges" in a criminal case, the state does, but a huge amount is up to the DA's and police discretion and if the victims aren't champing at the bit to hang the defendant they might just decide not to prosecute, even on fairly major stuff. Pretty much what happened with the guy who broke into my house and tried to strangle a tenant in his bed, the strangle-ee skipped town before the court date and since I was the only witness who'd been there through the whole thing who bothered show up and by that point of the stated opinion that dude had a point they just dropped the case right there in the courthouse lobby.

Antivehicular posted:

... I'm still trying to figure out the 18 goddamn miscarriages. I guess it's technically possible if she was conceiving and miscarrying every 3-6 months when she wasn't pregnant, but holy poo poo. I hope for her own sake that she's just a compulsive liar, honestly.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Okay, this story is messed but I'm actually posting because one of the comments has me even more weirded out. Oh and this is like his third thread, there's others about his wife wanting a divorce but him not, and another about his wife wanting to...aw hell do I even need to tell you?


This comment, not from the OP

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I've never checked out JustNoMIL but is it anything like this:

I (38M) Made a Mistake by Agreeing With My Wife (41F) to Bring Her Mother-In-Law (62F) to Live With Us.

quote:

Some things that happen just defy explanation. For example, we were recently traveling home by car from a small vacation when my MIL suddenly announces that she needs to poop. So I hit the next exit and pull up the gas station but it’s too late. She just yells “oooooohhhhheeeeeeee” and craps her pants.

Mirthless posted:

Hey I thought I would point out that the rick and morty character Mister Poopy Butthole has "oooooohhhhheeeeeeee" as a catchphrase

Lots of fakeposts have a hint in them and I think that's it right there

WampaLord posted:

It's more like "Ooooooh-wee!"

Maybe I'm just gullible as hell but I believe 99.9% of these.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I would search Mister Poopy Butthole to confirm but I'm at work :/

and here I am ready to proclaim that the role of "Goon" could finally be played by an old, Asian woman.

Mirthless posted:

Yeah I think most crazy poo poo people post online is completely true because everybody has at least one story that no one on earth is going to believe. Given that we're detached from the thread and not validating these people I don't see the harm in just assuming they're true, it's just fun to play spot the fake sometimes.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

also it makes literally no difference to my life whether these stories from anonymous strangers are true or fake, so unlike many goons I would prefer to live in the world where interesting things happen to people

Mirthless posted:

Hey I thought I would point out that the rick and morty character Mister Poopy Butthole has "oooooohhhhheeeeeeee" as a catchphrase

Lots of fakeposts have a hint in them and I think that's it right there

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

also it makes literally no difference to my life whether these stories from anonymous strangers are true or fake, so unlike many goons I would prefer to live in the world where interesting things happen to people

quote:

I [28F] need help measuring up to my husband's [31M] standards.Relationships
submitted 6 months ago by StandardsTaway

I [28F] have been together with my husband Matt [31M] for ten years, married for four. We have a pretty good life - nice house, a cat and a dog, decent jobs. But it seems like no matter what I do, I can’t match up to Matt’s housekeeping expectations.

I will admit up front, he does about 60-70% of the family responsibilities, although a lot of them are things he insists on taking because I don’t do them “right”. I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I dust, and I do the one-off animal stuff (nails, baths, meds, etc). I also help with laundry, groceries, gardening, general tidying/putting away, and maintenance/repairs, as well as going on dog walks when it’s above freezing. And obviously when we have stuff come up or do a seasonal clean, I take whatever he puts on my list and get it done to the best of my ability , and I step in on any of his chores (except roof stuff) when he's sick/busy/whatever.

Matt does sometimes appreciate my work. When we did spring cleaning, he thanked me for being willing to give up an entire weekend to get it done (we spent two 12 hour days cleaning). But a lot of the time, he finds something that I didn’t do right, and he gets mad at me for it. And when that happens, I become the stupidest, laziest person who should clearly know better. Half of the time, he doesn’t even clearly explain what I did wrong, or tell me how I should do it to do it “right”, just rants about me not knowing how to do “basic” things.

And he’s not always wrong. I grew up in a home where cleaning was… pretty infrequent. And while I was expected to do my chores, keep my room nominally tidy, and help clean when we had company, I never got shown the right way to do things, so I just guessed. And having been away from them for ten years, I can see now that my parents are pretty dirty. It bothers me that when I go visit, the guest room is dusty enough to make me feel sick, and there’s piles of dog hair everywhere. It bothers Matt even more, to the point where he’s decided we’re no longer staying there for a couple of nights at Christmas, like we used to.

On top of that, I have ADHD. I know it’s not an excuse (Matt tells me that, when he’s not telling me that I’m lying about it), but it does affect things. I have a harder time remembering things need to get done, especially if they’re out of the way and not an immediate need. I do fairly well when I have an actual list to work off of, but I’m generally not good at noticing things need to be done and then doing them, especially as I usually see them when I’m in the middle of something else and can’t get to them right away (and then end up forgetting until the next time I see them).

But when I do notice and try to help… well, it usually blows up in my face. I noticed that the dishwasher needed to be unloaded and so I put the dishes away. When Matt saw how I’d put our Tupperware away, he told me that how I had done it was wrong and I must be stupid to put it away like that. The next time I was helping unload, though, I asked him to show me how it should go, and he told me I should be able to figure it out if I was as smart as I thought I was. I get the same sort of result with loading the dishwasher - if I can’t tell if it’s clean or dirty, I ask and am told that I should be able to figure it out. If I decide clean and put dishes on the counter, I get yelled at for not knowing it was dirty or for not putting the clean stuff away. But if it’s completely empty and I put dishes in, sometimes I’ll get yelled at for not knowing that there weren’t going to be enough dishes to do a load for a few days, or that he was planning on doing a hand-wash load.

Recently, Matt broke a toilet and caused a huge leak that did some damage to some of our drywall. I helped him fix the toilet and put everything back the way it was, including painting over what we thought were just some water spots. Matt was quite upset that I couldn’t make the new paint perfectly match the old and sarcastically said “I thought you were an artist?” (I like drawing but don’t work with paints at all). A few weeks later, the drywall started puckering and it was clear there was more damage than we’d initially thought. Matt said it would need to be taken out and cut out the piece that was water damaged.

Because I’d done some small patches in other rooms, we agreed that I would patch this section as well. Matt now claims it was all my idea, while I remember offering and him agreeing that it made sense as he’d previously made a complete mess of a patch. Either way, I did a little reading and saw that there were two possible ways to fix the situation, because the location was textured. I chose the second and spent a long weekend applying texture to patch the damaged drywall. I then had to do some sanding and then apply more texture. After the weekend, I realized that things weren’t working the way they should and tried using the first method. I got the spot patched that way and wanted to let it dry before deciding if it was good enough.

Matt flipped. He was mad because the patch doesn’t look perfect (I’d give it about a 6/10 - better than the damage puckering or a hole, but definitely doesn’t match) and I’d dared to say that I thought it looked much better. And mad because I didn’t take everything I could out of the room when I was sanding. Now, I admitted to him that I didn’t even think to do so, because he’d not done so when he was cutting out the piece. He said he had (I know he didn’t, because I went in the room right after he’d cut the piece and everything was in there) and then ranted at me how I was stupid and lazy and useless. And I told him that everything could easily be cleaned and we could sand down the patch and try again if he went and got me more texture (I don’t drive). He told me I was wrong, I was a liar, and that I was useless and lazy.

So I gave up. I’m not proud of that, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’d spent two weekends straining and hurting myself and got yelled at because my efforts weren’t perfect. So I told him that if he was so confident that he knew how to do it right, he could redo it himself. And I walked away without doing anything else - not cleaning, not fixing the patch, nothing.

For the past few days I’ve been sick. Matt had a cold over the weekend and seems to have passed it to me. He did pretty much nothing while he was sick, which I understood, but he’s been on my case about a few chores while I’ve been sick. Nothing big - putting some stuff away, doing some dusting - but I’ve just been feeling like poo poo and therefore putting it off. Last night he snapped at me for it (this is pretty typical - I get three days before he gets impatient with me being sick), but instead of his usual getting frustrated that I’m not doing anything currently needed and then getting over it, he started yelling at me about the drywall patch again, and how I haven’t done anything with it in the past few weeks.

I pointed out that we’ve been busy (we have - events every weekend since the last time I touched the patch). I pointed out that he hasn’t bought more texture yet. None of it mattered. I was lazy, I was useless, I was worthless. I was too f-ing stupid to know that the method I tried first was never going to work. I was too f-ing dumb to take everything out of the room before sanding. I was so f-ing stupid for thinking that a good dunking in water will clean the dust off things. I should never claim that I want a partner because I’m not even close to being one. I don’t deserve emotional support or to be treated nicely because I’m a useless f-ing b.

Tonight, he’s going to come home and apologize and bring flowers. And we’ll talk about it, and he’ll promise to try to get a better handle on his response to frustration. So that’s handled. But what isn’t is the fact that I keep causing this frustration by not being able to do what he thinks I should be able to. I keep failing at being a “real adult” (his words). And I never know what I’m going to fail at next.

So how do I learn those basic adult skills my parents should have taught me without driving my husband up the wall with my inadequacies? Is there some overarching “here’s how to adult?” guide that I could reference?

TL;DR - I keep making housekeeping mistakes that frustrate my husband, and he claims I should know better and am stupid/not an adult if I can’t figure it out on my own. How/where do I learn to do things “right”?

almightyerin posted:

Edit: oops, here it is...

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3453028

Pick posted:

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Murder him

quote:

My [30 F] BF [29 M]calls me "Bro" during arguments & I can't ever seem to win [Attachment Issues] [Fights]Relationships
submitted 6 minutes ago by berlinblack

My BF and I have been dating almost a year. When things are great, they're great but it hasn't been easy as we're almost total opposites when it comes to communicating feelings so naturally that's lead to some ugly clashes and subsequent personality adjustments. Mostly on my end.

Namely - my BF tends to have issues with how we spend our time together and how things work when we're together. He likes to be the director of our relationship and for the most part, I do let him steer but not everything always goes seamlessly. He's very affectionate and expects that in return - this also means that he is very attached and hates to do anything alone. Our time together then translates to mostly everything being done with us joined at the hip.

We hadn't had a big argument in probably a month until Monday night - everything seemed fine. Got home, we took a shower together, got dressed, and started watching a movie. We had plans to meet up with a friend later for his birthday so I knew we'd have to cut the movie short so we could get ready to go out and get ready for the next day.

So skip ahead to around an hour later and my boyfriend has been on his phone. I'm looking over and giving him looks like, "Hey! Watch the movie with me!" for a few seconds and then a few minutes later I pause it and tell him I need to prep our breakfast and start getting ready. We have been drinking smoothies in the morning so I like to get everything chopped and into the tumblers to mix and it takes sometimes a while.

He immediately got mad. He started yelling at me from the living room and tells me I need to stop being over there and instead get ready and that he'll wash dishes, but I'm already halfway into it and so I'm telling him to just come over and help me so we can finish it and I can start the smoothie prep.

He keeps getting angry so I just stop and walk out. I'm already getting upset because he's basically kicked me out of the kitchen and I can't do what I wanted to do. He stays and finishes the dishes but doesn't do the food.
I get ready. He starts trying to taunt me because he knows I'm mad - this is like playground antics, he starts mocking me, playfully slaps or pulls my hair, etc. Normally it wouldn't be bad but I was visibly upset and it's making me feel worse. I'm about to get dressed and then he pins me on the bed and asks me if I'm gonna be "nice". I'm mad but I play along and ask him if he will. He starts to shift and he's like "Nevermind dude, maybe we need to spend time apart cuz I hate you right now!". I know he's playing but it's still hurtful and I get quiet and he just stays in bed and gets on his phone.

I'm finished so I ask if he's going to get ready so we can head out and his mood is just shot. So he doesn't want to go with me and then starts to say that I'm not paying attention to him and that I'm being neglectful. [insert a bunch of "Forget it bro!", similar statements] I'm asking him what that means since we've literally spent maybe a week apart the entire time we've been dating and have been living together for months and he tells me that I don't get it. But the thing is that not only do we spend time together, we do most normal boring things together and I even wake up earlier to spoon him, show affection, etc so I think the statement is just flat out surreal and bizarre.

Then he hits me with the "I'm having a lovely day and you don't even know!" and granted we took a shower and we normally talk about our day during then but we didn't that day because we started having a really long talk about something else and then watched a movie. He never seemed like something was wrong and even during the day when we were both at work, didn't text me either so I was oblivious. But he took it as me being willfully ignorant and uncaring. I tried to apologize and ask him what was wrong and he just said I was "too late" and that I don't care, that I should have known better, etc.

Statements like those really bother me because he constantly asks me to spend time with him, which I do, and which I sacrifice (like my sleeping time) to cater to him. I tell him that of course I do and I even apologize about not asking about his day but he keeps telling me I don't "get it because I'm not being compassionate" and finally tells me I need to leave and wants to be alone.

I go out for about two hours, come home and he's sleeping on the sofa. I ask if he wants to come to bed and he declines. Goes back to sleep. The next day I go over for lunch and he's still sleeping. He barely acknowledges me even though I get in bed with him and I'm trying to hold him. Later I get home from work and he's still being very distant and cold towards me.

When he acts that way, I naturally don't want to talk because the attitude toward me is so unwelcoming and uncomfortable. I end up feeling like poo poo and just want to stay away. We pretty much just watch tv and keep the communication to very little. We're in bed later, he's on his phone and I'm not and I'm feeling really sad. I start sniffling and have some tears and he ends up getting out of bed to go sleep on the sofa. I get up and ask him why and he said I'm making him uncomfortable and he doesn't want to be next to me. At that point, I just have to tell him I'm sad and that he's acting really mean and he tells me he's not going to have a conversation that late at night when it should have been done earlier.

Again - when I went home and he was sleeping? When he was busy avoiding contact with me the whole night? He refuses to argue or talk via text about situations like this so I knew that would go nowhere if I tried throughout the day. Finally he tells me to again leave him alone and go to bed so he can go to bed.

He text me this morning saying we needed to talk after work. I don't feel like we're at the point of a break up but that we're definitely hitting our capacity for this type of fallout that seems to happen when we clash. He calls me things like "bro" or "dude" during arguments and will then shut down and tell me that I don't "get it" if I ever try and ask him to help me understand why he's upset or how to fix things. So it ends up with me feeling really hopeless that I feel incapable of even salvaging what I've done to upset him.

If my boyfriend does have attachment issues - what are some good ways to help those? I've always been independent so this is completely new territory for me. What are some helpful ways to argue with someone like him in order to be productive? Feeling very at a loss on how to change the way we argue and make this work long term.

tl;dr: My BF and I can't argue constructively and I need help helping him with his attachment issues!

Pick posted:

anyway,

quote:

Me [22 F] with my one of my best friends [21 M]. He assaulted me while blackout drunk.Relationships
submitted an hour ago * by seekingadviceasap

Hi reddit - throwaway here. Not really sure how to handle this so really any advice would be helpful.

One of my best guy friends, Mark, and I went away this weekend for fun. He's in a relationship, I'm in a relationship, and we've been really good friends for awhile without anything weird ever going on despite being opposite genders. We both consider each other like siblings at this point.

We went out Saturday night and went bar hopping until about 3am. We were both very heavily intoxicated. When I drink though, I am always aware of my surroundings and was definitely still in control of my own actions. It seemed like Mark was fine as well. We headed back to the hotel (same room, separate beds) upon bar close and stayed up chatting for awhile on the couch, mainly it was me being a good friend and listening to him chat about his ex that he really dislikes.

Eventually, I was too tired as it was probably about 3:30am at this point and I said I'm going to bed. I move off the couch and get into bed at this point. He decides to follow and just sits on the bed because he wants to keep talking. He still wasn't weird towards me at all during this time and wanted to just keep talking about his relationships and about his new girlfriend. Eventually I just fell asleep on my side of the bed because I was so drunk.
I woke up some time later to him next to me, so so drunk, and trying to take my bra off. He was feeling me up underneath my bra and I pushed his arm off and turned over to fall asleep again. This is where I feel like it's my fault because I got SO drunk that I wasn't able to just get up and walk away and passed out pretty immediately after that.

Well, around 5:30am (I looked at the time soon after) I woke up again and he was kissing me all over. He was also fingering me very aggressively. It took drunk me a second to realize what was going on, where I was, and that it was not my boyfriend doing this to me. I still feel bad for even pausing for a second due to the time it took for me to register. I wish I wasn't so drunk.

I ended up rolling out of bed pretty freaked out and immediately called my boyfriend, who's also very close to Mark as well. I told him what happened and he was just trying to calm me down. Eventually I fell asleep again.
The next morning I talked to Mark and said we need to talk about last night. He was like what?? And I asked if he remembered. He said no. He just remembers bar hopping.

He literally has ZERO memory of what happened. He didn't even believe me at first because he said he would never ever do something like this. It was only when I told him the stuff he told me about his ex (that he hasn't told anyone before) that he realized I wasn't lying.

I don't know what to do. I have been freaking out for the last few days. He apologized and feels terrible. I made him tell his girlfriend who wasn't happy but said they'll work through it. I've been a mess and feel disgusting and violated and he just gets to move on with his life.

I guess here's where I'm asking for advice. He's one of my best friends. Right now, I don't know how to keep him as a friend but I can't imagine not having him in my life now. It's making me so upset. I don't know how to handle this. He said he understands if I don't want him in my life anymore and apologized a ton and said that he'll respect whatever decision I make and that he feels like a monster.

And then there's the part of me that wants him to suffer too. I don't want to ruin his life by going to the police but he did assault me while I was SLEEPING. I'm not one to just say ok I'll start healing now and eventually I'll move on. No. I want him to feel the consequences and feel just as affected by this as me. He's back at school with his new girlfriend and just enjoying being with her while I'm still at home trying to process everything that happened. Is there anything I can do so he takes full responsibility and is deeply affected by this too??? It just feels so unfair that because he was blackout, I'm the only one who is truly hurting deeply from this and has to keep having flashbacks and nightmares.

Thanks in advance.
tl;dr: Best guy friend assaulted me while blackout drunk. How do I respond??

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Antivehicular posted:

I swear to God, if I read one more post on r/relationships where a stalking/abuse/assault victim is super- apologetic about engaging in totally normal behavior, I'm gonna... well, probably just be really sad.

Pick posted:

last one for now


he's notttt yourrr friiiennnddd

quote:

Either way, I did a little reading and saw that there were two possible ways to fix the situation, because the location was textured. I chose the second and spent a long weekend applying texture to patch the damaged drywall.

Pick posted:

I think people have to earn their crazy poo poo stories by doing and being exposed to crazy poo poo, not making it up like a bunch of applewhites

anyway,