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For a second there, I thought it was a new word filter or something. EDIT: Goddammit, I snipe way too many pages. 
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Jan 12, 2017 03:22
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Finally, a pride flag that represents me. 
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Jan 12, 2017 03:27
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I walked out on it with ~30 minutes to go. Haven't done that since The Other Guys was in theatre. loving garbage.
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Jan 12, 2017 03:29
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im becoming self conscious because i have a desmond hoodie that i really like and i dont want people to think i got it because i was inspired by the movie
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Jan 12, 2017 03:35
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CaptainBeefart posted:I walked out on it with ~30 minutes to go. Haven't done that since The Other Guys was in theatre. loving garbage. You walked out on The Other Guys? I think it is you who is loving garbage.
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Jan 12, 2017 03:36
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CaptainBeefart posted:I walked out on it with ~30 minutes to go. Haven't done that since The Other Guys was in theatre. loving garbage. Which would seem to indicate that the Assassin's Creed movie is actually really, really good because The Other Guys was hilarious.
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Jan 12, 2017 03:37
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I Am Crake posted:Which would seem to indicate that the Assassin's Creed movie is actually really, really good I had hoped for good fight choreography and stuff because I expected a trash plot, but not only was the plot even more loving stupid than I could possibly have imagined, in multiple different equally dumb ways, but the fights were stupid garbage where supposedly trained fighters just stood around waiting to be stabbed in the neck. Also the director really really loved the stupid bird flying around and also horse hooves for some reason.
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Jan 12, 2017 03:47
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Phimosissy posted:I promise you it is not. Oh there's no doubt in my mind that it's a bad movie, I just thought it was weird to use The Other Guys (which I thought was an excellent comedy) as an example of a horrible movie.
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Jan 12, 2017 03:57
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I Am Crake posted:Oh there's no doubt in my mind that it's a bad movie, I just thought it was weird to use The Other Guys (which I thought was an excellent comedy) as an example of a horrible movie.  Although I have seen the AC movie and yes, it was disappointing.
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Jan 12, 2017 04:10
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Jan 12, 2017 05:36
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Phimosissy posted:I promise you it is not. On par with the games then in quality
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Jan 12, 2017 05:39
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Implying they have crabs too just seems mean-spirited.
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Jan 12, 2017 05:41
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I was at a theater and it had a display for Assassins Creed and I covered up the letters so it said rear end Creed. I hope everyone gets a little chuckle from my story.
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Jan 12, 2017 05:43
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 Can't go to the AssCreed movie without your preorder crossbow!
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Jan 12, 2017 06:02
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Kwyndig posted:You walked out on The Other Guys? I think it is you who is loving garbage. On the one hand, the two best things about that movie are "aim for the bushes" scene (which is right at the beginning) and the end credits which is just a PSA about Ponzi schemes and wealth inequality and poo poo. Nothing in the middle quite lives up to what sandwiches it. On the other hand, the middle is still pretty dang good. Verdict: Captain Beefart is in fact garbage.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:10
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bobjr posted:
Is that a good price for a medieval crossbow? I honestly don't know.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:12
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Guy Goodbody posted:Is that a good price for a medieval crossbow? I honestly don't know. If it has genuine hardwood for a frame that's a steal. Just caress it lovingly to feel if the workmanship is right.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:16
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Guy Goodbody posted:Is that a good price for a medieval crossbow? I honestly don't know.  89$ On first google search. So..going with, no.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:17
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The AC movie would never work for the same reason a Hitman movie would never work. You take a game that revolves around meticulous planning and multiple reloads until a busboy doesn't spot you hiding in the bushes at the wrong moment and turn it into a standard shootem up movie racking up 100's of bodies. Any Hitman film that doesn't aim to get a Silent Assassin rating just isn't worth it. All we want really is an hour and a half of the beginning of Leon (aka Leon the Professional) poo poo now I need to watch Leon again.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:17
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Feonir posted:
Do the math. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewj3wrIUR3s Buddy
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Jan 12, 2017 06:19
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CaptainBeefart posted:I walked out on it with ~30 minutes to go. Haven't done that since The Other Guys was in theatre. loving garbage. Oh Ubisoft. Maybe once Vivendi buys you and puts in place some sane executives the quality of the products you release will actually be consistent.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:22
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alpha_destroy posted:On the one hand, the two best things about that movie are "aim for the bushes" scene (which is right at the beginning) and the end credits which is just a PSA about Ponzi schemes and wealth inequality and poo poo. Nothing in the middle quite lives up to what sandwiches it. On the other hand, the middle is still pretty dang good. Listen, far be it from me to break up a dogpile, but all he said was 'since The Other Guys was in theatre,' there's nothing saying what film he walked out of. You know what else was in theatres in June of 2010? 
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Jan 12, 2017 06:27
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Ak Gara posted:The AC movie would never work for the same reason a Hitman movie didn't work. Ftfy. It exists. Well, they exist. Theres 2007 Hitman movie and a 2015 reboot. 2nd one is.. okay, and 1st one is literal trash. If you want a good hitman movie, just watch John Wick.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:29
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Critics Consensus: NoAk Gara posted:The AC movie would never work for the same reason a Hitman movie would never work. You take a game that revolves around meticulous planning and multiple reloads until a busboy doesn't spot you hiding in the bushes at the wrong moment and turn it into a standard shootem up movie racking up 100's of bodies. Any Hitman film that doesn't aim to get a Silent Assassin rating just isn't worth it.
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Jan 12, 2017 06:34
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Sormus posted:Ftfy. It exists. Well, they exist. This. In fact, just watch John Wick for no reason. Have you seen John Wick lately? Cause goddamn John Wick.
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Jan 12, 2017 07:01
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AnElegantPeacock posted:This. In fact, just watch John Wick for no reason. Have you seen John Wick lately? Cause goddamn John Wick. I watched John Wick last month, for the first time. I'm going to go watch it again. Right now.
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Jan 12, 2017 07:56
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RoboRodent posted:I can't wait for Trump to insult Chuck Tingle on Twitter. Vicious LIES from not very good gay erotica writer Chuck Tingle! Not a nice person!
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Jan 12, 2017 08:48
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Tiggum posted:Critics Consensus: NoI would much prefer a Hitman (or any stealth game) movie that was based more on the way I play those games (ie. badly). An attempt to be stealthy that starts going wrong, quickly snowballs out of control and ends with a pile of bodies, followed by people acting like nothing's wrong continuing to send this incompetent protagonist out on more stealth missions.  Also guards walking in patterns.
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Jan 12, 2017 09:25
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AssCreed is a movie whose central premise is grabbing a guy with a big robotic arm and swinging him around while memories are livestreamed out of his DNA, and it takes itself completely seriously.
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Jan 12, 2017 10:07
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Knormal posted:AssCreed is a movie whose central premise is grabbing a guy with a big robotic arm and swinging him around while memories are livestreamed out of his DNA, and it takes itself completely seriously. To be fair, the arm's really only a conceit to get the audience understanding the whole bleeding effect from the Animus. In the games the Animus is a seat the user lies in while the memories are pumped into their head, and it's a known thing that prolonged use is bad if you're going through your own genetic memories because they start bleeding intothe user's mind. It's beneficial to some degree, because they pick up stuff like their ancestor's Assassin skills, but they also start believing they are that ancestor in brief bursts. The arm is still pretty dumb, but you can at least see the train of logic as to why they used it.
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Jan 12, 2017 10:19
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Sormus posted:Ftfy. It exists. Well, they exist. They both are trash with a couple great scenes. Four more of those and you'd have enough for one greatest hits collection. I think the key to a good Hitman movie is having him show no emotion whatsoever and that is never going to happen if they keep giving him a companion. The sequel to The Mechanic remake was also trash but it's greatest moments were Statham's character planning and executing his hits. The second job is like a 5 minute sequence without dialogue and it was a diamond in a field of poo poo. It even was executed to look like an accident, one of the greatest things about a modern Hitman game.
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Jan 12, 2017 10:35
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https://twitter.com/shanevader/status/819008788481114112
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Jan 12, 2017 10:39
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I think a great Hitman movie would have to involve time travel somehow. Which means the current best Hitman movie is Edge Of Tomorrow.Mierenneuker posted:I think the key to a good Hitman movie is having him show no emotion whatsoever Wanna make a Keanu Reeves joke so bad right now, but John Wick will come for me.  [edit] Is imgur down for anyone else? I haven't been able to upload pics for a few days now. / nm, it's back. Keeps saying overloaded. 
Ak Gara has a new favorite as of 11:10 on Jan 12, 2017 |
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Jan 12, 2017 11:01
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Neddy Seagoon posted:To be fair, the arm's really only a conceit to get the audience understanding the whole bleeding effect from the Animus. In the games the Animus is a seat the user lies in while the memories are pumped into their head, and it's a known thing that prolonged use is bad if you're going through your own genetic memories because they start bleeding intothe user's mind. It's beneficial to some degree, because they pick up stuff like their ancestor's Assassin skills, but they also start believing they are that ancestor in brief bursts. videogames.txt "Can't just do a thing. Gotta poo poo it up with a pointless, convoluted, impossible plot first!"
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Jan 12, 2017 12:27
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The animus arm is basically the least bad thing about the AssCreed movie. And, to be fair, Fassbender does a good job with what he had to work with, but drat he signed up for a stinky turd of a movie
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Jan 12, 2017 13:37
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Are there any video game movie adaptations that are good / competent? I remember the first Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie being sort of okay for what it was but haven't seen it in a while.
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Jan 12, 2017 13:49
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This reminds me of The Brave Little Toaster. Wheat Loaf posted:Are there any video game movie adaptations that are good / competent? Mortal Kombat (I'm only half joking)
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Jan 12, 2017 13:56
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Ak Gara posted:I think a great Hitman movie would have to involve time travel somehow. Which means the current best Hitman movie is Edge Of Tomorrow. The "Germany" at the bottom really makes this for me
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Jan 12, 2017 13:59
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RCarr posted:Mortal Kombat (I'm only half joking)
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Jan 12, 2017 14:01
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RCarr posted:Mortal Kombat (I'm only half joking) This person gets it. MK was incredibly faithful to the spirit and tone of the material: hokey, convoluted, and full of fighting. It's the last time I can remember that fans of the source material got what they hoped for in movie form.
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Jan 12, 2017 14:03
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