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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


NXT thing:

Big Damo's NXT name is

Killian Dain

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Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Who the hell is Badd Bones

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Wait Hornswoggle is in TNA now? Hahaha.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Basic Chunnel posted:

Who the hell is Badd Bones

German guy who won some online popularity Gut Check contest forever ago and gets occasionally used but never really.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

bad bones is good

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.
Davey's back? Shame.

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Eddie lost the title to Lashley in their Iron Man Match

Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.
I heard that Moose was fat now. anybody got pics

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

Bard Maddox posted:

I heard that Moose was fat now. anybody got pics

He looks mostly the same to me. Not very cut, but I don't think he ever was?

Super No Vacancy
Jul 26, 2012

i'd put him at 15% droopier

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy

Codependent Poster posted:

Wait Hornswoggle is in TNA now? Hahaha.

He's a poo poo ex-WWE star, of course he's in TNA

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Yesterday's TNA stuff:

Impact
* Davey Richards def. Andrew Everett
* Drew Galloway retains the Grand title over Moose. Ref got KO'd, Drew lowblowed and pinned Moose in round 2
* Hardys cut a promo saying that they had a premonition to "get every piece of gold there is" as Jeff pointed to their "Open Fight Night" briefcase, granting them a world title opportunity. The Decay and DCC interrupted the promo, which led to an impromptu three way tag title bout. The Hardys pinned DCC to retain
* Knockouts champ Rosemary retained over Jade in Monster's Ball, after superplexing Jade through a table
* Trevor Lee cashed in his "Open Fight Night" briefcase on DJZ to win the X Division title
* Lashley won the world title over Eddie Edwards in a half hour iron man match, 3-2
* Sienna def. Brooke after interference from Maria

Xplosion
* Eli Drake def. Mahabali Shera
* Laurel Van Ness def. Deonna Purrazzo
* Robbie E def. Marshe Rockett

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

I love that they're sticking with the worked MMA garbage

Also, the DCC being huge jobbers right out of the gate

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

DCC seem lame and pointless, which is a shame since I've always liked Kingston but I don't know what the point is of putting him in a mask and matching suit and having him not talk.

So I guess the cases are Feast or Fired without the Fired? Blue, Red, Gold, and Green sound color coded but the Blue one was for the X Belt instead of the Green one so I guess not.

And yeah, the Global Title is beyond stupid and I can't for the life of me figure what they think they're getting out of it. I guess they just wanted the midcard title to have some twist but they don't realize you can just book it well to give it identity.

I was going to try and watch some more impact to see if there's changes but this looks like more of the same. Stick to the RAW "DVR and Delete" schedule, I guess.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Yesterday's TNA stuff:

Impact
* Hardys want all the tag belts, Jeff wants more and cashes in his briefcase on Lashley
* Lashley retains the World title over Jeff Hardy with a spear. Eddie Edwards comes out and asks for a rematch, which Lashley accepts
* Drew Galloway wants to make the Grand title more important than the World title. Moose wants a rematch, but Galloway says he's already booked
* Galloway retains the Grand title over local jobber Rob Ryzin via first round pin
* Eli Drake cashes in his briefcase against an opponent of Tyrus' choosing. It's EC3, and EC3 wins. Eli and Tyrus beat down EC3 after the match, but the lights go out. When they come back on DCC attack all three. EC3's helped to the back
* Brandi Rhodes is back and calls out Rosemary. Rosemary beats down Brandi with Decay surrounding her until Moose comes out and helps
* Aron Rex def. Robbie E. New parts of Rex's gimmick: Spud's entrance music is jazz, Rex has makeup and glitter trunks, Rex tapes his oversized rings and turns them to act as brass knuckles, and Spud dries down Rex after the exhausting match
* Gregory Helms introduces new X Division champ Trevor Lee as the crown jewel of Helms' Dynasty. The weak link is Andrew Everett, and to trim the fat Helms and Lee beat him down
* Brooke def. Sienna
* Brandi and Moose def. Rosemary and Crazzy Steve
* DCC def. Eli Drake and Tyrus in a handicap match when Eli walks away

Xplosion
* Marshe Rockett def. Sam Shaw

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Mob posted:

The masses love when a big man can move. Remember when Sportscenter used to show highlights, a big fat lineman scooping up a fumble and running for a touchdown always made the top 10

Vader and the Bossman. Not to mention the nicest guy of his day, Earthquake. Fat guys who can go are awesome.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Today's TNA

Impact
* Jessie Godderz def. Kingston
* Lashley retains the World title over Eddie Edwards. Postmatch, Davey Richards and Angelina Love attack Edwards and Alisha
* Hardys are on an expedition of gold, and have upgraded Vanguard 1 with teleportation abilities. They'll get all the gold from all the lands and promotions until the 7 Deities deem them the greatest team in time and space. They touch Vanguard 1, lights go out, and they're gone
* Drew Galloway retains the Grand title over Mahabali Shera
* Tyrus hosts the Facts of Life, Eli Drake guests in a sling. Tyrus challenges him for next week
* Trevor Lee retains the X Division title over DJZ. After the match DJZ attacks Helms, and Everett comes out to save DJZ from Lee
* Cody congratulates Brandi on chasing her dreams and thanks Moose, then kicks him in the balls after Moose says he was happy to help and Brandi had his number
* Jessie Godderz def. Bram
* Jade calls out Rosemary, challenges her for the Knockouts title in a Last Man Standing match. Rosemary accepts
* Tyrus def. Eli Drake when Eli disqualifies himself by hitting Hebner. Tyrus and Eli celebrate together
* Moose and Cody have a big brawl. At one point Cody clocks Josh Mathews. Moose dives onto everyone
* Trevor Lee retains the X Division title over Andrew Everett

Xplosion
* Caleb Konley def. Kongo Kong

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

Chris James 2 posted:

* Hardys are on an expedition of gold, and have upgraded Vanguard 1 with teleportation abilities. They'll get all the gold from all the lands and promotions until the 7 Deities deem them the greatest team in time and space. They touch Vanguard 1, lights go out, and they're gone

Man, I hope that's the Hardys leaving TNA. It would be the perfect way for them to go and they get to be in better promotions.

Delsaber
Oct 1, 2013

This may or may not be correct.

Hell, screw wrestling, they could be pitching a series to Adult Swim or something at this point.

Germansimp
May 28, 2013



Holy poo poo do those spoilers sound awful, apart from the Hardys. Oh, and Cody finally doing something positive by hitting Josh.

But other than that? Davey turns on Eddie as expected, the Grand Title is a joke, and for the majority of the roster you can't tell who's a face and who's a heel.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Chris James 2 posted:

* Tyrus def. Eli Drake when Eli disqualifies himself by hitting Hebner. Tyrus and Eli celebrate together

what

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Wasn't the fake MMA gimmick Corgan's idea? I can't believe it's still a thing.

Destroy My Sweater
Jul 24, 2009

Delsaber posted:

Hell, screw wrestling, they could be pitching a series to Adult Swim or something at this point.

Matt Hardy Presents: World Peace

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012



Germansimp posted:

for the majority of the roster you can't tell who's a face and who's a heel.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Josh Barnett just debuted and beat Bobby Lashley for the TNA title

https://twitter.com/TheFrayMovement/status/819716943158636544

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

NO DAMMIT TNA

https://twitter.com/MrJacobCohen/status/819716723406438401

https://twitter.com/MrJacobCohen/status/819717295769587714

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014





Billy Robinson is rolling in his grave right now.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Tonight's TNA:

Impact
* DCC cash in their Open Fight Night briefcase on Decay, falls count anywhere. DCC win when Bram piledrivers Crazzy Steve through a table to the floor
* Lashley says he's the baddest man on the planet and too good for the roster. Nobody in wrestling or MMA can beat him. Josh Barnett comes out and challenges him
* Moose wins the Grand title over Drew Galloway by split decision
* Eddie Edwards challenges Davey Richards, they have a pull-apart brawl. Anything goes street fight later
* Josh Barnett def. Bad Bones
* Rosemary retains the Knockouts title over Jade in a Last Knockout Standing match
* James Storm def. Jessie Godderz
* Angelina Love introduces Davey who attacks Eddie from behind. They beat up Eddie, Alexis, and Earl Hebner. Angelina counts the pin
* Josh Barnett wins the World title over Lashley
* Refs argue about finish, match restarts
* Lashley retains World title over Barnett
* Braxton Sutter and Laurel Van Ness marriage. Mike Bennett is drunk best man, Spud is Flower Boy with Aron Rex, Allie is ringbearer. Laurel says yes, but Braxton doesn't, saying he's always loved Allie but was forbidden from pursuing it by Maria. Maria fires Allie, Allie quits. Fight happens

Xplosion
* Angelina Love def. Brandi Rhodes

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

So who is their booker right now because they might be taking the "wrestling is soap opera" thing a little too literally

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

quote:

* Angelina Love introduces Davey who attacks Eddie from behind. They beat up Eddie, Alexis, and Earl Hebner. Angelina counts the pin

:psyduck:

quote:

* Braxton Sutter and Laurel Van Ness marriage. Mike Bennett is drunk best man, Spud is Flower Boy with Aron Rex, Allie is ringbearer. Laurel says yes, but Braxton doesn't, saying he's always loved Allie but was forbidden from pursuing it by Maria. Maria fires Allie, Allie quits. Fight happens

:psypop:

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



:aronrex:

Flower boy

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





did TNA rehire Russo or something?

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


TNA teasing putting the title on Josh Barnett then not doing so is unironically the most angry I've ever been at them.

Marquis de Pyro
Sep 25, 2006

Evil Prevails
Wow, who knew that Dixie Carter was actually a genius, and the only thing holding TNA together

Blast Fantasto
Sep 18, 2007

USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

rare Magic card l00k posted:

TNA teasing putting the title on Josh Barnett then not doing so is unironically the most angry I've ever been at them.

This makes no sense unless it's a convoluted angle where he's going to get another shot and win because of the screwy finish.

Even then that's dumber than him just winning the title outright.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I mean, I was kind of going to watch some Impact to see if the new management improved things... but it sounds so much worse.

And whoever's now in charge seems to really hate tag teams.

Aye Doc
Jul 19, 2007



STAC Goat posted:

And whoever's now in charge seems to really hate tag teams.

at least they got one thing right

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


rare Magic card l00k posted:

TNA teasing putting the title on Josh Barnett then not doing so is unironically the most angry I've ever been at them.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Aye Doc posted:

at least they got one thing right

Tag wrestling rules and if someone had asked me to name 1 good thing about TNA at the moment I probably would have settled on something like "Well, uh the Wolves and the Helms Dynasty are both excellent teams, the Hardys are fun right now, the Bro Mans and Decay are good character teams, and Bram and Kingston of DCC could probably make for an interesting team so they could probably get the Tag Division in order really quick if they wanted to."

So in these tapings they appear to have broken up the Wolves and Helms Dynasty with no build or great purpose, the DCC got beat up by 1 Bro Man alone with no indication he's still in a tag team, and the Hardys literally disappeared.... so "the tag division is as much of a mess as any of the other divisions."

So now if you asked me to name one good thing about TNA I'd have to go with "Maria's pretty hot."

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DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Marquis de Pyro posted:

Wow, who knew that Dixie Carter was actually a genius, and the only thing holding TNA together

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