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Ghostbusters confession was fake as hell and boring to read. Next time put some creativity into it.
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Jan 15, 2017 16:54
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Panfilo posted:So what, looking at porn makes him hungry? No, it doesn't make him hungry, but he spends a lot of time on Pornhub watching incest porn.
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Jan 15, 2017 17:34
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Lol if you think Avengers Age of Ultron is some hardcore poo poo When I first got Left 4 Dead I was a bit uneasy to go down the first stairs cause I never played a zombie/horror game before and hate getting spooked. Eventually a Boomer found its way upstairs and I laughed my rear end off at the fat thing then played the entire game. The day after L4D2 was announced.
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Jan 15, 2017 17:38
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loquacius posted:How exactly do you "prove" to an Internet person that you have watched a comedy movie without closing your eyes Anonymous Confessions: my favorite movie of all time is Avengers: Age of Ultron, so I can handle some pretty f'd up, intense stuff
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Jan 15, 2017 22:39
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Blue Moonlight posted:Anonymous Confessions: my favorite movie of all time is Avengers: Age of Ultron, so I can handle some pretty f'd up, intense stuff People who say their favorite film is a summer popcorn flick make me sad. There's so much more to cinema, why set the bar so low for yourself?
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Jan 16, 2017 05:32
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treiz01 posted:People who say their favorite film is a summer popcorn flick make me sad. There's so much more to cinema, why set the bar so low for yourself? But it's not even a good summer popcorn flick. Obviously fake. Or maybe he's 12?
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Jan 16, 2017 05:39
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My favourite movie is the 1969 cinematic masterpiece Easy Rider, where nothing loving happens ever for seventeen soul crushing hours and then someone shoots Dennis Hopper
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Jan 16, 2017 05:55
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My favorite movie is Jurassic Park. Dr. Grant and Ian Malcolm 
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Jan 16, 2017 06:47
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Hey Monster Trucks goon, how does it feel knowing that film is an absolute pile of poo poo? This isn't just a needle, I'm actually curious how it feels and if you know that
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Jan 16, 2017 11:14
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:I know a guy absolutely terrified of Jurassic Park to the point that he'll immediately leave the room if any part, even the calm parts, of those movies are on. He's not the kind of guy you'd expect to have a weird fear like that though. He has no other irrational fears that I know of, has worked in a morgue or something, will watch scary movies, etc. He says it's because he saw the first raptor scene when he was really little and he feels that terror every time the movies come up.
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Jan 16, 2017 15:30
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quote:I've fallen in love/lust with a girl and have no idea what to do. I've always been awkward as hell but my 2017 resolution was to be more sociable, outgoing, and to go out and make myself available for opportunities. I am 26 now and it's time for me to try and have a relationship as I am a virgin in all respects. Never kissed a girl or went on a date or anything. I think I've seen someone misinterpret the "age/2 + 7" formula as "age/2 + 1" in a previous confession thread too so on the off-chance this isn't a bamboozle: no, the age-dating-creepiness formula was not in fact intended to encourage 26-year-olds to date 14-year-olds, your lower-bound age is actually 20, and you are going to get a restraining order put on you (if you're lucky) Skipping a confession encouraging everyone to reingest all of their bodily waste due to the too-gross rule. quote:I killed somebody in self defense. I am a police officer but this incident had nothing to do with my job.
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Jan 16, 2017 15:46
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Why couldn't you have killed Rovert
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Jan 16, 2017 15:50
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Still traveling, doing a fesh dump all at once since I'm flying home todayquote:I am a milf hunter. I use tinder, okc, and pof mostly. I also use facebook a bit - I find lonely single women in my area then pursue them. Can someone tell me a definition of "milf" that applies to lonely single women on Tinder but not this guy's wife because as it is it sounds like he's using a fetish as a flimsy excuse to sleep around quote:I hate my wife's family. This isn't really a confession, or probably that uncommon, but I can't rant to anyone about this train wreck of a situation in real life. Do not take this kid. I dunno, I think you're in the right here and these people sound toxic as hell. Their problems are their problems.
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Jan 16, 2017 15:52
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How was he pointing a "gun" at your head after you said you disarmed him? Where did he pull it out of if he was only wearing a darth vader mask? This is just a poorly thought out fake "I'm a cop and killed someone for a stupid reason and didn't get in trouble for it" isn't it?
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Jan 16, 2017 15:52
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I enjoyed the goon killer story quite a bit
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Jan 16, 2017 15:54
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hey, 26 year old goon please don't gently caress 16 year olds, that is gross
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Jan 16, 2017 16:01
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There has never been a better time for deadbeat sister-in-law to get a letter informing her that a donation has been made in her name to the NAACP.
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Jan 16, 2017 16:10
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yeah I eat rear end posted:How was he pointing a "gun" at your head after you said you disarmed him? Where did he pull it out of if he was only wearing a darth vader mask? It was poorly worded but I think the first disarmament was the fake sword, and I think you know where the "gun" came from 
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Jan 16, 2017 16:42
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mfcrocker posted:hey, 26 year old goon this and also don't ever type 'very tight cute body' ever again, thanks
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Jan 16, 2017 17:21
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imagine the type of person who sees "half your age + 1" and instead of questioning if that makes sense or looking into it at all just goes with it
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Jan 16, 2017 17:24
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Glad to hear I have a few more years of ethically loving children in me
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Jan 16, 2017 17:32
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free basket of chips posted:I enjoyed the goon killer story quite a bit I did too, because I assume he accidentally killed him during wrestling + gay stuff, and then made up this story about swords and guns to cover it up. Very Chekhovesque confession
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Jan 16, 2017 17:38
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:imagine the type of person who sees "half your age + 1" and instead of questioning if that makes sense or looking into it at all just goes with it Imagine the type of person who needs to use a rule to say it isn't creepy to date someone
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Jan 16, 2017 17:42
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Gloryhold It! posted:Imagine the type of person who needs to use a rule to say it isn't creepy to date someone I'm imagining a 26 year old virgin goon who can't get attention from adult women because he is a mental child and hangs out at Dave and Buster's. But he also has high standards so only a tight cute body will do for his sexing.
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Jan 16, 2017 17:52
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loquacius posted:Do not take this kid. I dunno, I think you're in the right here and these people sound toxic as hell. Their problems are their problems. There's a part of my wife's family that is not allowed to know where our house is. They are white trash pieces of poo poo. Luckily the wife is smart enough to know that we want nothing to do with their drama and don't need them to steal our stuff. It sounds like your wife is mostly there, too, which is a good sign. Don't get involved in their mess, keep them out of your lives as best you can, and never ever give them money.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:06
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The Management posted:There's a part of my wife's family that is not allowed to know where our house is. They are white trash pieces of poo poo. Luckily the wife is smart enough to know that we want nothing to do with their drama and don't need them to steal our stuff. It sounds like your wife is mostly there, too, which is a good sign. Don't get involved in their mess, keep them out of your lives as best you can, and never ever give them money. Same situation here. I'm just thankful my wife doesn't fall for the "family first no matter what" bullshit.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:30
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yeah I eat rear end posted:How was he pointing a "gun" at your head after you said you disarmed him? Where did he pull it out of if he was only wearing a darth vader mask? My favorite part is when the assailant pulls out this fake gun, apparently from his naked rear end
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Jan 16, 2017 18:39
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loquacius posted:Can someone tell me a definition of "milf" that applies to lonely single women on Tinder but not this guy's wife
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Jan 16, 2017 19:40
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:I have a similar sentiment with that scene in Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman gets the needle to the chest. It isn't particularly grotesque, and I have no problem watching way worse things, but I saw that one scene when I was 5 or 6 and just the way the tension builds, then she gets stabbed and jumps up and runs around a bunch freaked me out. I dunno, I still have a hard time watching it. why were you watching pulp fiction at that age?
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Jan 16, 2017 20:09
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"Your honor, I realize I'm being charged with statutory rape, but I'd like to refer to the 'Half your age +1' rule." "No further questions"
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Jan 16, 2017 20:11
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virgin goons just hire a hooker
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Jan 16, 2017 20:15
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Jose posted:why were you watching pulp fiction at that age? 
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Jan 16, 2017 20:41
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:my brother's had it on when we stayed at a hotel on vacation and my parents were at the hotel bar, I remember being less affected by Phil Lamarr getting shot in the head later in the movie i didn't know he was in it
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Jan 16, 2017 20:47
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Jose posted:virgin goons just hire a hooker Don't do this. It doesn't help anything. It will just make you even more awkward around women who aren't paid to gently caress you. You need to connect with a woman as a human first, and work up to sex. The internet is a magical place for this, especially for socially awkward weirdos.
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Jan 16, 2017 21:44
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The age thing is a big deal and obvious dealbreaker, however I feel he should be applauded for doing something most older, awkward people don't push themselves enough to do: he's going out in public and interacting with people enough until it's no longer an awkward or forced thing to do. Is D&B a great place to meet people? I don't know; I've only been there like twice almost a decade ago. Is it good that he's found a place he feels comfortable in enough to hang out and chat with people? Yeah. He's not hanging out at a playground and chatting people up; he's in a place that serves alcohol and has games. He's at least going to an age appropriate place. Obviously he shouldn't be contacting that 16 year old past "Hey, the age thing is a dealbreaker. Good luck in your life!" I personally feel like him hanging out there, having a drink or two, and chatting with people who also like doing the trivia game is a pretty normal and decent attempt at being more proactive in his dating life.
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Jan 16, 2017 22:13
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if you're an adult, DON'T 👏 DATE 👏 CHILDREN 👏 NO EXCUSES they are not capable of making good, informed, or rational decisions regarding sex and relationships. they are not 'mature'. if you think a 16 year old is mature, that says more about your 'maturity' level than theirs. anon goon, stay the gently caress away from her snoo fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Jan 16, 2017 |
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Jan 16, 2017 22:20
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The Management posted:Don't do this. It doesn't help anything. It will just make you even more awkward around women who aren't paid to gently caress you. You need to connect with a woman as a human first, and work up to sex. The internet is a magical place for this, especially for socially awkward weirdos. tell them you're a virgin and they'll probably be able to tell you what to do
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Jan 16, 2017 22:33
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The Management posted:Don't do this. It doesn't help anything. It will just make you even more awkward around women who aren't paid to gently caress you. You need to connect with a woman as a human first, and work up to sex. The internet is a magical place for this, especially for socially awkward weirdos. i disagree because i literally did exactly that. hiring a hooker and getting that poo poo out of the way boosted my confidence immensely. i managed to have real unpaid sex a week or two after, thanks to my newfound confidence and no longer obsessing about sex. i will also say that having sex does not fix anything if you are depressed or anxious, maybe for a week or two tops. then everything sucks again. also for all you virgin nerds, trust me if you still haven't had sex by like 24 its not worth it. the many underlying issues that kept you a virgin so long make sex really difficult and disappointing. find something else to make you happy discarded box fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jan 16, 2017 |
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Jan 16, 2017 23:28
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Back in my day we used to go out and meet girls and talk to them and sometimes if we liked each other we'd have sex. Crazy I know.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:33
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loquacius posted:another travel-day double post 90% certain that Monster Truck confession is a copy and paste job from somewhere else. Definitely have seen it before.
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Jan 16, 2017 23:33
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