Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Whoa there, slow your roll dude. Yeah, it might be a little weird on paper, but my girlfriend has told me before that she sniffs my clothing when the mood strikes on occasion. I'm sure she did it much more when we were long distance for a long while too!

It's completely nuts if OP's husband is sniffing his MIL's underwear though. I agree. I don't get full-blown panty fetishes either, which are real weird.

Mirthless posted:

tbh i feel like it should not only be culturally acceptable to charge people to come to your wedding, it should be the norm and it should be taboo to refuse

c'mon people, you shouldn't have to start a lifetime together with 5 digits in credit card debt

quote:

My fiancee [25 F] wants an open relationship to explore her bisexuality but I [25 M] do not anymore.

Throwaway for obvious reasons....
My fiancee and I have been together for almost 8 years. For several years we were in a long distance relationship during college, but we have lived together for 3 years now.
The past two years she hasn't really been able to climax once she changed her birth control, and she experiences some pain because of a tilted uterus. She can't switch her birth control because of an increased chance of stroke with migraines (and she takes it for irregular bleeding?)

Anyway, several months ago, she told me she was bisexual and she wanted to hook up with her best friend. She explained she didn't want to grow old without exploring that side of her sexuality so I agreed that she can experience it.

Since she has no intentions of hooking up with another man it didn't really seem to bother me too much at first and she said it would be okay if I saw other women which I really don't have much interest in and haven't taken advantage of.

Once she started seeing her friend, who is also in a long term relationship with another guy, our relationship has gone down hill. I'm beginning to realize she isn't actually that interested in me sexually, and it's making me distant. I'm also rather jealous, and it annoys me to see my fiancee texting her ALL the time. I made the mistake of glancing at her phone and she has thousands of texts to her in the past 4-5 months.
She always seems depressed and torn now, and started to see a therapist. Apparently she hasn't really been open with me about a lot of things like her being bisexual, and not really being attracted to men sexually.

Actually, she said she was slightly repulsed by penises.

I know I haven't been the most exciting person to be with the past year due to some really bad anxiety about eating out and having an allergic reaction, but I don't think that this is really the big issue.

What do I do in a situation like this? Ask her to stop with the open relationship? Do I ask her to move out and take a break? Do we break up? I feel like she's been stringing me along for all these years now because I'm someone who 'knows' her and was someone to come home too.

Just to clarify, I do love her, and I honestly had no idea that there was an issue until she brought this up. I want to save this relationship but at the same time I'm so angry since it feels like shes stringing me along because she can't decide what she wants to do and is being selfish.

tl;dr: Fiancee wants an open relationship to explore her bisexuality and is trying to figure out her life. I don't know what to do anymore.

Waterbed Wendy posted:

There's a huge difference between smelling a lover's shirt and smelling their used underwear.

It's basically like "mmmm this combo of sweat, farts, and vaginal discharge is such an enchanting elixir that only my weird little boner can provide providence while my moral center dissolves into nothing."

quote:

My[27/F] mother[51/F] won't stop giving my daughter[2] coffee.

Hi there, So as the title says, my mom won't stop giving my daughter coffee. I am a stay at home mom to 3 young kids. My 2 year old twins and my 1 year old. My life is quite hectic with all these little ones running around. My husband works long days, 6 days a week so isn't around much.

My mom helps out a whole lot. She's here almost every day to help me get groceries, do laundry, etc. I don't know how I would do any of this without her.

A few weeks ago while I was drinking some coffee my daughter asked me if she could have some too. When I said no she threw a fit. I thought it was strange because I thought she never had it before so why would she be so upset.

A few days later when my mom was over she made herself and myself some coffee. My daughter then asked my mom for some coffee and she just handed her the cup, and let her drink some. I immediately asked my mom why she would do that and she told me that it does no harm and she gives it to her all the time. I told her I did not want her to drink coffee and to please stop giving it to her.

My mom still hasn't stopped. She still gives her coffee in front of me like I've never said anything about it before. I keep telling her every time and I've gotten angry about it a few times too. My mom just shrugs it off and tells me not to whine so much..

I don't know what to do. I know coffee isn't the worst thing for my daughter, but it's still not good. My mom won't listen to me and respect my decision. I need her in my life though because she helps me so much. How can I get her to stop doing it without kicking her out of my life?

TL;DR: My mom helps me out in raising my kids and taking care of my housework. She won't stop giving my 2 year old coffee and refuses to listen to me saying no.
less

La Brea Carpet posted:

Tale as old as tiiiimmmeee

Improbable Lobster posted:

What's the lesbian equivalent to beard?

Waterbed Wendy posted:

There's a huge difference between smelling a lover's shirt and smelling their used underwear.

It's basically like "mmmm this combo of sweat, farts, and vaginal discharge is such an enchanting elixir that only my weird little boner can provide providence while my moral center dissolves into nothing."

quote:

We've been married two years. Long story short his mother cut his hair all his life before we were married because they had six kids and were too poor to go to hair salons. After we got married he expected me to cut his hair too, I said f*ck no, we have enough money for you to go to a salon and I have no clue how to cut someone's hair.

He kept pestering me and two months ago I gave in. It was terrible, and he kept snapping at me for doing it wrong.

He asked me again tonight and I was reluctant, reminding him how bad it was last time. He kept saying I just need more practice. So I tried again and it led to him being annoyed again and me with hurt feelings.

My husband's feeling is that as a wife I should be cutting his hair, and that it's something a lot of wives do. Maybe I'm just a bad wife, but I have zero desire to cut his hair or to learn how to cut his hair, I was never told that was part of the job description. My mother certainly never cut my father's hair for him, and I've honestly never heard of that before. Tonight he came in and said to me sarcastically, "I've decided I'm not changing the baby's diaper anymore because I've tried it twice and decided I'm not good at it." (a mirror of what I said earlier tonight about cutting his hair)

Am I being unreasonable here, or does anyone else feel like this request is a bit over the top?
tl;dr: I don't want to cut my husband's hair. My husband thinks I should because I'm his wife. Thoughts?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Did she give you a peppermint after each cut?

Pick posted:

For several years, I let a classmate cut my hair because she said she'd been doing it since she was like three years old. I thought that was kind of weird but went with it, and she did do a good if not particularly delicate/artful job, and she did do it for free. Later I learned that she had practiced cutting hair since she was about three, but it's because she was obsessed with dressage. That is, she had lots of experience cutting hair, on horses.

zakharov posted:

hachi machi

I don't want to cut my husband's hair anymore. Me 25f, him 26m

Jeff Sichoe posted:

my missus trims my beard but only because I don't like the idea of a dude running his long thick fingers through my facial hair.

it's just weird

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

How is getting a haircut from a dude any different than a beard trim? It is you who are pretty dang weird, not the act.

Gaunab posted:

I smell like a sub sandwich so I'm apprehensive about the women who would be attracted to that

Lonely Virgil posted:

I more worried about it being hot liquid in a mug than the actual coffee. My nephew got badly burned by hot cocoa around the same age. He still needs surgeries a decade later.

Toddlers and hot liquids do not go together.

Pick posted:

I imagine to this day that my corpse will be identified by a massive burn my parents promised me would never scar, the result of my mother leaving the iron plugged in and hanging precariously over a toddler.

Lonely Virgil posted:

I more worried about it being hot liquid in a mug than the actual coffee. My nephew got badly burned by hot cocoa around the same age. He still needs surgeries a decade later.

Toddlers and hot liquids do not go together.

Husband's Friend is Cheating: He's Relieved Truth is Out, Wife (Me) Resentful He Knew posted:

My (40F) relationship with my husband (43M) had been frustrating for some time. We’ve been together for 20 years, married for 10 years. His major complaint is the sad frequency of our sex life and general lack of intimacy. He takes the position that I hate him, am mean, and don’t care how sexually frustrated his is. He counted in 2016 and his total of sex days (days, not total # of times) was 17. I think we did it a few more days, but he’s in the ballpark.

My major complaint is that I feel overwhelmed as the primary/sole breadwinner and go-to person with our 3 young kids. I am the one who gets them up and ready for school. I take them to school and pick them up. He works as an artisan. He heads out at night when I come home with the kids. He’ll be gone for hours in the evening. I never know if he’ll be gone 2 hours or 6 hours. I make dinner and do the bedtime routine most nights. Last year had a “bad year” and brought home very little. In fact, I came into some cash and paid $25,000 on two credit cards he uses for his “business” and everyday expenses. I had no idea his bills were so high. He insists that he is making money, which makes me suspicious that he is bringing in cash but stashing it somewhere for his own use. Or, he may be exaggerating to save his pride.

I’ve been asking him for years to quit what he’s been doing and take up any other job, hopefully one with health benefits (we are in the USA and I pay our family’s health insurance costs to the tune of about $1300/month). He says I don’t support his dreams and want to tie him to a desk. In his view, I can just work harder, be better at my job, and pull in enough money to keep the whole family happy. This is true, in theory. In real life I’m overwhelmed with my job; it is a high-stress position.

Our youngest is only in day care three days a week, so twice a week he stays home with the baby. He quit his desk job when I was about to give birth to the baby (now 3). He does some chores but only the ones he feels like doing. He doesn’t clean the bathroom or the floors, though he will do laundry, wash dishes and vacuum. He’ll go to the market but buying groceries isn’t “his” responsibility. If there is no food, fruit, milk, etc, then it’s just as much my responsibility to have seen that we needed something.

I’m in charge of making all the money for bills, paying the bills, and the family’s calendar. I make the kids breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He’ll help with the kids/family responsibilities but I have to ask. His take is that years ago I agreed that he could pursue this dream and that my job is profitable. He is a wonderful father and I know he loves our children very much. I get frustrated because I feel like our family responsibilities default to me. He feels blamed and victimized when I try to talk about him taking on more responsibility.

Truth: it is hard for me to see him as sexy because I see him as an irresponsible boy rather than a reliable partner. He is very attractive and in excellent shape, doesn’t understand why we don’t have the wild sex life we used to have years ago. He gets mad and says he doesn’t make enough money for me to be attracted to him. In my eyes it is not just the lack of income, it’s the fact that he is more than happy for me to do the heavy lifting while he enjoys his hobbies. I am exhausted and being intimate feels like more work.

We’ve been in a bad place for at least 2 years. Last week I learned that one of his good friends has been having a long-term affair, keeping the other woman as his girlfriend. We, as a family, are good friends with the family. My husband takes the husband’s side, saying that the wife (my friend) participated in their relationship problems, should have seen what was going on long ago because of all the signs, and that I can learn a lesson from my friend about what happens when a wife isn’t loving enough to her husband. This line of argument enrages me. I think his friend is a coward for leading a double life. I know he couldn’t tell me (I would have told my friend) but I still feel lied to and deceived. I feel like he’d rather keep his friend’s dirty secrets than be honest with me, his wife.

The secret-keeping complicated our already troubled relationship. My husband started deleting texts shortly after the affair started. At the time he told me it was because I don’t get boys jokes, that I’ll misunderstand their humor, and that his phone was always running out of space and deleting texts was necessary. Really it was because the cheater and another friend were joking/talking about the affair. My husband swears he didn’t participate in the jokes and that he told them to keep him out of it. He says he started to cut off contact with his friend. It is true he didn’t want to spend time over at their home and he did tell me to stop making plans with our mutual families. But he went out with this guy, spent time together, and kept (keeps) up a friend relationship. Looking back, he didn’t want to spend time (personally) with my friend (the wife) and their kids. Seems to me he felt guilty seeing the wife.

Now that the truth is out, my husband is relieved he doesn’t have to keep the secret anymore and he wants me to “stay out it” with my friend. He even told me to block her texts, saying that if she is a real friend she will understand how much stress her life is causing in mine. This enrages me also, as it seems that he should have told his “friend” to gently caress off months prior. He is still talking to his friend/the husband, though not frequently. My friend just had her life pulled out from under her feet. Pushing her away seems unnecessary and cruel. My husband insists I don’t know all sides of the story and that she, for lack of a better phrase, had it coming (he hasn’t said this explicitly but this is the theme of his position).

My husband thinks he was doing the right thing by telling his friend to stop the affair and by keeping his friend’s secret. I’m angry and offended that he would (and will) continue seeing his friend. I know he met the other woman, though my husband insists that he only saw her once. I’m disgusted thinking about me home with our kids and my husband shaking hands with some other woman.

I feel like my husband’s mentality about us has changed because of his friend’s decision to cheat (and my husband’s ongoing knowledge of the affair). My man is spending time with a guy who has decided that putting up with his wife essentially earned him the right to have an affair; I see this as a poison to our marriage. I’ve had to hear about how women over 35 aren’t any fun; how women only want to complain and drink; that younger women have more fun and are more fun to hang out with; how boring I am because I am tired all the time; how he has to go out to the bars because he is seeking out adult conversations and because I am always asleep by 9 or 10pm, he has the right to go out with his friends for a little fun.

I’ve never stopped him from going out. He goes on hunting trips and motorcycle rides with his buddies as well as out to the bar. He may go out a few times a week, or not at all. All I want to know is where he is and when he’s coming home. Husband makes fun of me, saying “where are you and when are you coming home” is all I ask him. His new stance is that I should just ping the gps on his phone to see where he is. I don’t want to polarize too badly but it feels like emotional abuse to make fun of me for wanting him to volunteer his plans to me. Am I overanalyzing?

I know we had problems before his friend started this affair. It seems to me, though, that seeing how much his friend enjoys his girlfriend has clouded his perception. Husband said to me once that while me and my friend (the scorned wife) are mocking the other woman’s kind words (she found out about the affair by finding sordid texts), that he can assure me that her husband (his friend) loves hearing compliments from his new girlfriend and that his friend is much, much happier with the girlfriend. This disgusts me and I don’t want to hear about it at all.

Despite how it sounds, I don’t think my husband is cheating but I think he may be using his cheating friend’s sexual happiness to glorify how awesome a girlfriend could be. Also important: he accuses me of cheating, says he knows I am for a fact (I am not). I blame this on his year of knowing my friend was totally in the dark about her husband’s cheating (and if she can be fooled, why am I not lying to him and fooling him in the same way).

I can’t shake my anger about this. Husband swears he never lied to me but at best he told lies of omission. He is mad that I’m blaming him for his friend’s misdeeds, saying he did everything he could to get the friend to see reason and stop.

How do I handle my anger/frustrations about this? I’ve got to get back to a place where we have a more vibrant sex life or else we are doomed.

TL/DR: husband’s friend has been cheating for a year and husband’s covering for him making resentful wife more resentful. What to do to get over it?

curlingiron posted:

quote:

Despite how it sounds, I don’t think my husband is cheating but I think he may be using his cheating friend’s sexual happiness to glorify how awesome a girlfriend could be. Also important: he accuses me of cheating, says he knows I am for a fact (I am not). I blame this on his year of knowing my friend was totally in the dark about her husband’s cheating (and if she can be fooled, why am I not lying to him and fooling him in the same way).

Pick posted:

duh, murder.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I bet he tells anyone who will listen, including whoever he's cheating with what a horrible,heartless ice queen she is

Pick posted:

Like, I'm not saying she should murder him per se, just that he should die, and that if she kills him then that is fine and an ok to way to arrive at that conclusion.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Oh god no. My cousin pulled a pot of boiling water on himself when he was three, had to be airlifted to a big hospital for emergency skin grafts. I was there when it happened, those were some horrible shrieks. Burns are just awful.

"My ex-husband [45M posted:

wants me [32F] to be a godmother of his newborn son."]
I married my ex husband when I was 19, almost 20. It was not a great marriage to say the least. He began cheating on me a few months after our honeymoon with one of his ex-girlfriends, "Laura" (currently 34). I did not know about this until 5 years after we married. Anyways, my ex and I had two sons [11 and 9M]. We separated 1.5 years ago and divorced less than a year ago.

Throughout our 10~ year marriage, my husband has been seeing Laura. Even after I found out, we stayed together for the sake of my two sons. But last year was when I could not take it anymore and we got a divorce. Less than 6 months after our divorce was finalized, my husband married Laura. She was about 3/4 months pregnant at the time. Their baby son is now almost 1 month old. I visited the child when I took my sons to see their new baby brother at the hospital.

Yesterday I received a call from my ex husband. He asked if I wanted to be the godmother of their son. I would be one of two godmothers. He said it would be a way of "mending old mistakes" and that it would be a symbol of forgiveness between the two of us. I asked him if Laura was even ok with this idea and he said that she was.

Im not sure how to make of all this. My ex husband sounded as if he genuinely wanted me to be the godmother, but I feel like its a form of insult. Or am I just being paranoid and petty?

TL;DR: Ex husband's new wife (with whom he cheated on me with since the beginning of our marriage) just had a baby boy. They both want me to be one of his two godmothers. I am not sure of their intentions.

quote:

My [24 M] girlfriend [21 F] is a POC and often makes jokes and quips about white people that I don't appreciate.

We've been together for over 6 months and have had some slight issues as we grow together. I'm white and she's POC, and she oftentimes makes jokes about white people or quips or little digs about white people being racist, etc. It's not all the time, and it's not super heavy handed, but it bothers me.

I've told her how I don't like those jokes, and she basically just told me to get over it because she's made jokes like that her whole life and isn't going to change. She also pointed out the fact that her sister makes jokes like that too and has a white fiance and they've been together for eight years. My response is that I'm not him, and I react differently to things.

On the other hand, I can be overly sensitive. She jokes a lot in general about other things as well and I know that she's just the type of person to joke, even though she doesn't mean to offend me. I've had issues where I overreacted or took offense to something that I didn't need to, and it wasn't related to anything racial.

Am I too sensitive? Is she too insensitive?

tl;dr: My POC girlfriend makes jokes/quips/digs/etc. about white people, and I get bothered by that. Not sure if I'm being too sensitive or if she's insensitive.

Mirthless posted:

i'm not saying she should murder him, but maybe they should go on a cruise and maybe he should have a spill off the side of the boat

quote:

My [24M] girlfriend [23F] has been extra clingy lately around our home. She woke me up at 3 am to ask me if I could walk her to the kitchen. She won't tell me what her issue is.Non-Romantic

I have been dating my girlfriend now for three years and I love her. Please don't take this as me making GBS threads on her, I'm just frustrated because she won't tell me what her problem is. This all started about a month and a half ago. I was at the gym working out with my best friend. We are body builders and I am currently studying to become a personal trainer. She called me asking me to come home. So I went home and I asked what the problem was. She told me she just wanted me home.

Ever since that night she has been extra clingy. She follows me around the house. If I wake up in the middle on the night, she wakes up as well and follows me. She wants me to have her in this bear hug type hold around her waist when we go to sleep. This is the same woman prior to this who would always moan I take up to much space in the bed because I'm a big guy. If we're lying on the sofa she has to have my arm. She turns the lights on wherever she goes in the house at night time. She never use to do that. Last night she woke me up at 3 am and asked me to take her to the kitchen.

I asked her right there and then what's bothering her. She insisted it's nothing. I asked why she needed me to go to the kitchen with her and she said because. Because what I'll never know. That's all she said. I went with her in hopes of getting answers. She drank water went back to bed. She still won't tell me what the hell is going on.

There's no woman or other man causing drama in our lives. Apart from a a friends death 5 months ago and a couple of mishaps around the house. The window breaking because the neighbours kid hit a ball. Nothing has really caused this . Her attitude and personality did a 360 in a day.

TL;DR: Something is bothering me girlfriend and she won't tell me what. She's become extra clingy.

quote:

Well I asked her and I told her not to bullshit me.

she told me when she was cooking dinner, she turned around and saw a woman peering around the corner in the kitchen. Pulled her head back and was gone. She told me before that a door opened by itself. She said, "I wish that door will close. I don't want to get up" according to her it slammed shut after she said that.