Andrast posted:

Sounds like a really nice death bed discussion.

Gaunab posted:

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

no, no it's her, she has the problem:

quote:

OP posted:
She's been on OK Cupid since age 14 and dating men since then. 6 years is not a minute and a half.

Gaunab posted:

[28/M] My wife [26/F] sent me a snapchat of her fully naked and spreading her legs, she has never done this before and it was very abrupt which makes me suspicious.

Mirthless posted:

MDMA contains the molecules of methamphetamine, they are not the same substance and MDMA is not generally considered a true amphetamine. You'll only get the full stimulant effects of Methamphetamine by actually doing meth. It's apparently a pretty popular combo to take them together.

gentle pete posted:

MF_James posted:

Well yes, I was being very pedantic about it. As said, I have never taken meth, but have done MDMA plenty and mixing it with uppers is 99.9% of the time something that kills the MDMA high, though perhaps crystal has a different effect

NomChompsky posted:

Tabletop gaming didn't do this to this guy. This guy was hosed up beyond repair long before he ever picked up a 20 sided die.

quote:

Did I [M35] cheat on my wife [33F] at a massage parlor?

I've been happily married for the last ten years. We have our problems, but generally, we're a good couple. While I, like a lot of people fantasize about having a fling, I'm loyal to my wife and don't wish to cheat. Our sex life was good, but has gotten even better recently.

I also have back that often gets sore. I think it's because of how I sleep, but it's been bad for years. Sometimes going and getting a massage helps, so every once in a while I'll book an appointment with a massage therapist and get a massage. So far so good.

My wife finds this indulgent and makes me feel guilty about it. She thinks it's a waste of money, though she lets me go once or twice a year. It's expensive, but we can afford it as we both have good jobs.

Well, my back has been acting up and I wanted a massage, but didn't want to deal with my wife so I decided I would "go cheap". Basically, there is a massage place at the mall near our house. The mall is nice, the place is clean and staffed by 60 year old Chinese ladies, so everything looks legit. It's cheaper than a regular fancy massage therapist and I could do a quick half hour and be on my way. I could pay cash and my wife would never know. Score!

So I go and book a half hour. I'm lead into a curtained off area and I strip to my underwear. The nice lady starts rubbing my back and doing a great job. (The little lady had some strong rear end hands.) But then it gets a little weird.

She pulls down the towel and then pulls down my underwear and starts massaging my rear end with oil. Rubbing it with her hands. First as part of a back rub, then for a minute or two on my rear end. Then a few minutes later, she pulls up my underwear from the leg holes and begins massaging my inner thigh just below my junk.

Ordinary massage therapists have never done this to me and I have to admit, I was incredibly turned on. Even though she was a little old lady, I was incredibly horny and while I didn't say anything, I deeply wished she would stroke my rear end more and get me off. I was as horny and turned on as I'd been in years.

Nothing else happened and I paid and left. Now I feel terribly guilty. I really think if she had offered, I would have happily received a handjob or something if she was offering. (Was she giving me signs I missed here? Was this a normal Asian massage or was she offering more? Just curious...)

Sexual stuff aside it was a great massage and my back feels great, though I doubt I'll go back.

So: Did I cheat? Was I wrong for not stopping her from massaging my rear end? Should I have run screaming? Do I owe a confession to my wife? Am I making too much out of this? Should I forget about it?

TL/DR: Went to what I thought was a legit massage. Had my rear end rubbed and feel guilty because I loved it.

Gaunab posted:

Did I [M35] cheat on my wife [33F] at a massage parlor?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

He's gay

scrubs season six posted:

I think every woman should confess to their SO that the night before they met she got All Holes Filled with Hard Cock by some strangers, just to see how he reacts.

Gaunab posted:

NomChompsky posted:

Tabletop gaming didn't do this to this guy. This guy was hosed up beyond repair long before he ever picked up a 20 sided die.

Pick posted:

I like the dick mileage assumption that he pulls it out all the way in between thrusts

Pick posted:

I like the dick mileage assumption that he pulls it out all the way in between thrusts

Pick posted:

One! *thrusts it in balls deep*
*deep breath, removes cock up to the tip*
Two! *thrusts it in balls deep*
*deep breath, removes cock up to the tip*
Three--!

Pick posted:

I like the dick mileage assumption that he pulls it out all the way in between thrusts

Pick posted:

you can get a fake one that wiggles and lasts for hours for less than a hundo. and you can wash it, to make sure it's washed, which frankly is a reaaaal step up

chumbler posted:

Do guys like this guy not connect the dots to maybe just asking his wife to touch his rear end?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

be sure to change your labia every 3000 miles for optimal performance

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

be sure to change your labia every 3000 miles for optimal performance

Jeff Sichoe posted:

what do you think normally happens, you just chuck it in and wiggle it around a bit?

full strokes are the par for the course

Jeff Sichoe posted:

I insist the vaginas I dump my load into are equipped with a lubrication nipple so I don't have to stop the pump

Pick posted:

When I was in undergrad, all the girls super heavy into dressage talked about their horses like a normal person would talk about their boyfriend, and I thought this was super weird, but then it turns out that a lot of guys about snatch so I guess there's something about humans that can't seem to distinguish genitalia and modes of transport

Pick posted:

When I was in undergrad, all the girls super heavy into dressage talked about their horses like a normal person would talk about their boyfriend, and I thought this was super weird, but then it turns out that a lot of guys about snatch so I guess there's something about humans that can't seem to distinguish genitalia and modes of transport

Improbable Lobster posted:

As long as they aren't loving their horses/cars

quote:

This is going to sound like a joke, but I am serious. I am convinced my boss is trying to kill me. I am a diabetic, and struggle with it. She knows that. I came back from the doctor not too long ago and told people my blood sugars were really high again. The next day my boss brought in a box of oranges for the break room. She brings in doughnuts a lot and likes to surprise us with afternoon treats of smoothies. Our holiday lunch consisted of two entrées: fried chicken and pizza, neither of which I should be eating. There was salad too, but not much. And the desserts were overwhelming. I know my boss doesn’t like me. Luckily she can’t get rid of me easily. But now I’m wondering if she might be actually trying to get me to ruin my diabetic diet and end up in a diabetic coma or worse. I asked a couple of co-workers about it, but they just laughed. But I’m serious. Do you think I have a case to take to HR here?

Pick posted:

I would not put it past either of those two groups

quote:

Girlfriend (f23) loves horses. I (m27) hate horses.

I can't tell if I'm really a jerk or if I just can't see a tree through the drat forrest.

My girlfriend is a really nice chick. She's pretty, well employed, soft natured, motherly, and we've been together for 1 1/2 years, living together for one. She does all the cooking/cleaning/looking after me.
She loves horses. I can't stand them. She's a vegetarian, I am a deer hunter.

She lets me go hunting whenever I want to. No complaints.

She's had horses all her life, and doesn't involve me in them because she knows I don't like them. It really upsets her.

A few months ago, she'd been planning on going to a big horse show and she'd been planning it for six months. That weekend I'd completely forgotten about it. I told her the boys were going hunting and I was going to tag along. It wasn't until after the weekend I realised, I missed the show. And she wasn't able to go because I was supposed to take her.

Since then, she hasn't asked me to go, ever. I feel pretty lovely about it.

She, however, has made a sincere effort to get into my hobbies. She even bought her own rifle so I could teach her how to use it. She asks questions about my hunting. All that stuff. She tries.

Problem is, I can't get into her hobbies because I HATE horses.

Dunno what to do.

tldr: girlfriend is amazing, but her big passion is horses. I hate horses. Dunno what to do.

she owns two and only spends time with them now when I've gone hunting so I don't have to be involved.

I helped her buy the rifle when she expressed interest in perhaps learning. She went from 100% anti hunting to wanting to give it a go herself. I didn't force her into this, she just asked a lot of questions and said it'd be fun to do together. She doesn't bring this horse thing up, ever, but when I do, she gets pretty upset.

I'm mostly asking because these are the things we do on the weekends. She wants to ride, I want to hunt. So we have to do one or the other if we want to ever see each other. She's chosen to come with me hunting.

Pick posted:

My (35F) husband (40M) of 10 years thinks I want to die on a horse.Relationships
submitted 11 months ago * by Hohhthrowaway

All right, the title was a little clickbaity. The problem, though, is real.

My husband has trouble hearing me when I talk. I don't know whether this is genuinely a hearing problem or a listening problem. Regardless, he is constantly asking me to repeat myself and has been for years. That is annoying enough, but I could probably have continued to deal with it for the forseeable future if he hadn't recently picked up what is possibly the most irritating habit in the history of time.

When I say something he doesn't hear, he no longer just asks me to repeat myself. Now, he paraphrases what he "thinks" he heard me say. For example, the title came from a time I told him I was going to iron my shorts. I guess he didn't hear, so he replied "what? You want to die on a horse?" He does this every time he doesn't hear something. We're talking about upwards of 5 times a day. "I'm brushing my teeth" becomes "you're rushing a thief?" "I'm going to the store" becomes "you're mowing on the shore?" "I'm making the baby a bottle" becomes "you're taking the neighbors a throttle?" You get the point.

Obviously, he knows that I'm not actually saying the things he thinks I'm saying. I'm not even sure he actually thinks I'm saying them. I'm pretty sure this is all a big joke to him. He seems to think he's being absolutely hilarious, but this is driving me up the wall. I have told him it bothers me, and he agrees to stop, but that only lasts for a few days and then he's back to "what? You're baking a winner?"

I think part of the problem is that we have very different senses of humor, and he genuinely doesn't understand why I don't find him the funniest guy ever when he asks why I'm going to put glass in my jar. But Reddit, I don't know how much longer I can take this. FWIW, I have asked him to get his hearing checked, but he claims it's fine. Should I insist? Should I talk to him again? Should I just stop talking to him at all? Do I need to get earplugs so I never have to hear "what? You're beading a hook?" Again? Help, please.

TL;DR: Husband thinks it's funny to "mishear" me as saying ridiculous things. He's driving me up the wall and I don't know how to get him to stop.

EDIT: Thanks for the responses, everyone! I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one with this issue. I'm going to sit down with my husband tomorrow and try to have a conversation with him about his hearing. I'm hoping he'll agree to a hearing test, but if he won't, I think I can at least explain how his current behavior is maddening and get him to agree to use less irritating ways of asking me to repeat what I said. I'll post if I have an update!

Pick posted:

Girlfriend (f23) loves horses. I (m27) hate horses.

Pick posted:

My (35F) husband (40M) of 10 years thinks I want to die on a horse.Relationships
submitted 11 months ago * by Hohhthrowaway

All right, the title was a little clickbaity. The problem, though, is real.

My husband has trouble hearing me when I talk. I don't know whether this is genuinely a hearing problem or a listening problem. Regardless, he is constantly asking me to repeat myself and has been for years. That is annoying enough, but I could probably have continued to deal with it for the forseeable future if he hadn't recently picked up what is possibly the most irritating habit in the history of time.

When I say something he doesn't hear, he no longer just asks me to repeat myself. Now, he paraphrases what he "thinks" he heard me say. For example, the title came from a time I told him I was going to iron my shorts. I guess he didn't hear, so he replied "what? You want to die on a horse?" He does this every time he doesn't hear something. We're talking about upwards of 5 times a day. "I'm brushing my teeth" becomes "you're rushing a thief?" "I'm going to the store" becomes "you're mowing on the shore?" "I'm making the baby a bottle" becomes "you're taking the neighbors a throttle?" You get the point.

Obviously, he knows that I'm not actually saying the things he thinks I'm saying. I'm not even sure he actually thinks I'm saying them. I'm pretty sure this is all a big joke to him. He seems to think he's being absolutely hilarious, but this is driving me up the wall. I have told him it bothers me, and he agrees to stop, but that only lasts for a few days and then he's back to "what? You're baking a winner?"

I think part of the problem is that we have very different senses of humor, and he genuinely doesn't understand why I don't find him the funniest guy ever when he asks why I'm going to put glass in my jar. But Reddit, I don't know how much longer I can take this. FWIW, I have asked him to get his hearing checked, but he claims it's fine. Should I insist? Should I talk to him again? Should I just stop talking to him at all? Do I need to get earplugs so I never have to hear "what? You're beading a hook?" Again? Help, please.

TL;DR: Husband thinks it's funny to "mishear" me as saying ridiculous things. He's driving me up the wall and I don't know how to get him to stop.

EDIT: Thanks for the responses, everyone! I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one with this issue. I'm going to sit down with my husband tomorrow and try to have a conversation with him about his hearing. I'm hoping he'll agree to a hearing test, but if he won't, I think I can at least explain how his current behavior is maddening and get him to agree to use less irritating ways of asking me to repeat what I said. I'll post if I have an update!

quote:

I (23f) saw a facebook chat between my BF (23M) and his brother (27ishM) that was very cruel about my appearance. I just don't know what to do because it REALLY hurts.Relationships
submitted 6 months ago * by verysadrightnow1234

I will try to make this is as short as possible. I'm taking summer courses and my laptop just broke. I asked my BF (Andy) to borrow his overnight so I could finish a paper. He gladly said yes. As I was procrastinating with reddit in one window the tab at the top started indicating that there was a new Facebook message. Not even realizing that actually Andy was logged into facebook I clicked on the tab, instantly realized that ooops this wasn't mine when I saw the message was from his brother. I didn't cut and paste but basically the message said "Dude, where's horse teeth at? You're up late?!?" (I have terrible teeth, yes, not a secret, so obviously this was about me).

I did not answer but my curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled through their conversation. While there were lots of positive things Andy said about me (she's amazing, she's very fun, I would never cheat on her no matter what [brother was pitching pretty hard to have Andy hook up with a girl from his work], lots of compliments about my rock climbing), he also said called me things like "NoBoobs McGee,""Rat's nest hair" and "avocado nose." He also went through a long conversation sort of at his brothers urging that I am far from the prettiest girl he's ever dated and sometimes he misses the dumb, big boobed types he dated in high school.

Here's the thing, I know I'm not the best looking girl. I wish I was but I've come to terms with my appearance...well at least I thought I had until last night. But I REALLY love Andy. It's not like a first love, puppy dog thing either because I've had boyfriends and been in love before and this is very different.

I don't know if I should or even could get over this...but I want to because nothing he said was untrue (I have no boobs, my nose is too big for my face and I spend all my spare time outside so my hair is a mess most of the time) and it was a private conversation I was never supposed to see. But it still hurts that Andy does not see me as even attractive compared to his other girlfriends.

How do I approach this? Or even should I? I know he would feel horrible if he found I knew about this...I don't want that. But I feel like I need to clear the air somehow...should I?

tl;dr: I saw my BFs private Facebook conversation with his brother that included some very mean and negative things about my appearance. I'm not sure how to proceed.