Gaunab posted:

NomChompsky posted:

I'm sure glad you saved me all that pain all those times you lied. Now I can experience it all at once as I begin to question everything you've ever told me.

quote:

I'm dating a younger woman, 21-26. I'm her first boyfriend, she's my fourth serious girlfriend. We've had sex and it's got to the lovely stage where she's enjoying it as much as I am. I am aware that I am much more experienced than her and I'm happy to slowly introduce new things that she might enjoy. There's a number of things that have happened in all my relationships and some that only some people like doing, so I'm starting out introducing her to the things that have been standard to all my relationships. From what I understand, these are common to most relationships (PIV, missionary, girl on top, doggystyle, cunnilingus and, now, fellatio).
Recently, she tried out giving me a blowjob, just as a starter to sex. She has an amazing mouth and much more natural skill than I expected. She said she didn't want me to cum in her mouth.
In short, this really upset me, though I hid it at the time. In all my previous relationships there wasn't even the question of cumming in their mouth and them swallowing. They all viewed it as an integral part of the act and did it joyfully without my suggesting it. This includes my first girlfriend where we were both each other's first sexual partner.
So, though I am more experienced than her, I've never encountered this idea in my personal life before and I am unsure how to explain to her that a) it's important to me, and b) what it's like (ie. that it's not that bad, try it once at least, kind of thing)
As to it being important to me, this is for both physical and psychological reasons. The physical is that it feels better to be warm and wet rather than cold at the moment of joy. The psychological aspect is that it feels quite rejecting of me; like if, during sex, I pulled out at the end and used my hand to finish her then she might feel that I'm being somewhat withholding. However, I recognise that the act is for my physicial pleasure alone (rather than sex which is fun for us both simultaneously) and I'm trying to find a way to express the importance without sounding selfish.
As to what it's like, I've never given one. I was bi-curious at school but all the boys I liked were straight and I had a steady girlfriend then. So what can I say to her about what it's like, to prepare her, perhaps overcome her negative presumptions? I never much discussed this with past girlfriends because it wasn't an issue.
To give some further context: she's working in the UK to improve her English before going to uni next year; so we both know that this relationship has a defined end-point. My last relationship that became long-distance failed quickly and I don't want to try again. She, sensibly, wants to be free when she arrives at uni. Also, we use condoms now but she's shortly going on the pill; so she has no experience of "mess" during sex.
tl;dr: How do I explain that cumming in her mouth is something she should try at least once and how much it means to me (without sounding like an rear end)?

quote:

My (25F) boyfriend (26M) of more than 2 years has a really weird specific fetish... like not one I think anyone will have heard of

We just moved in together after Christmas. So now that we live in the same place, I accidently walked in on him masturbating, which I have no issue with but before I ducked out I noticed he had a video up.

I thought at first he was just watching porn but it was Youtube not a porn site. I clearly saw what the video was, it was a rather well known far right wing conspiracy theorist.

Like I said I immediately left after realizing he was having personal time. I apologized which took a couple seconds and that's when I saw what he was watching. He mostly just looked startled. Later on when he came out he was embarrassed. I asked him what was up with the particular video he was watching, in a joking way.

It turns out, it wasn't he got bored watching stupid videos and just started to masturbate or something while it kept playing, it's actually some kind of fetish he has that he never mentioned. Basically he gets off to videos or podcasts where someone with extreme or ridiculous views is talking about them?

So he watches this guy host his talk show and that's his version of porn....

Now I don't know how to think about our sex life. Does he want me to pretend to act like that?

TL;DR my boyfriend has a fetish for conspiracy theory videos

Nazzadan posted:

ahaha gently caress this dude so hard

Me [26 M] with my ___ [20 F], 5 months in, her first relationship, my 4th serious one. She's reticent about trying oral sex, cumming in her mouth specifically. Need help explaining why this is important to me and what its like the first/second time.

Tears In A Vial posted:

54 40 or gently caress posted:

All men who demand their women swallow should have to take one load in the mouth and swallow it without complaint

54 40 or gently caress posted:

All men who demand their women swallow should have to take one load in the mouth and swallow it without complaint

Nazzadan posted:

ahaha gently caress this dude so hard

Me [26 M] with my ___ [20 F], 5 months in, her first relationship, my 4th serious one. She's reticent about trying oral sex, cumming in her mouth specifically. Need help explaining why this is important to me and what its like the first/second time.

NomChompsky posted:

This right here is one of the ways porn legit fucks people up.

quote:

My [39M] brother-in-law [30sM] scammed my wife [20sF] and I out of $200 by impregnating our beloved pedigree dog with a non-pedigree sire and he will neither repay us the money or pay to rectify the situationPersonal issues
submitted 4 months ago * by sac_boy

My wife and I have a lovely little dachshund called Dorothy (sometimes Dotty, due to the spots on her belly). She is currently pregnant and we face the difficult and emotional process of seeking a termination because the sire of her pups turned out to be a schnauzer-corgi-dachshund mix with serious learning difficulties instead of the purebreed we were promised.

This all started in late summer when I casually explained to my brother-in-law that we wanted a litter of pups before Dorothy got too old. Our intention is to keep one or maybe two and gift the others to interested friends from church. We talked about the kind of money that changes hands and he said he knew a guy with a suitable sire through his car detailing business and he could do it for $200. I leaped at the chance and gave him custody of Dorothy the next time she was in heat, along with $200 and $50 for his trouble.

When my brother-in-law returned Dorothy he assured me that the deed had been done, but he was vague about 'the guy' who owned the dog. I explained that I would need to talk to 'the guy' about pedigree papers and he was reticent to give me the necessary information. Eventually I got a name out of my sister-in-law and realized that I knew him as a one-time client of my carpentry & roofing business.

So I called the gentleman and met him at his work, he explained that he had received no money whatsoever and thought he was doing a favor for my brother-in-law. He also explained that his dog was heavily miscegenated as previously explained and that it had a serious mental deficiency as well as jaw and joint problems. I saw a picture of this creature that had been in our Dorothy and I nearly fell over. Only my anger kept me going. I stormed off in righteous fury.

I tracked down my brother in law who was out witnessing that afternoon and I pulled him by his collar into the truck. I am not a violent man but this was a serious betrayal of his sister and I, not to mention poor Dorothy, and I was ready to break his teeth for him. I gave him the option of paying us back or organizing and paying for the termination (it's very hard to find a vet in our county equipped to perform abortions and we will probably have to go to the blue state next door). He agreed at the time and said he would pray on it but we haven't seen or heard from him in two weeks and Dorothy is getting fat around the middle.

My wife says I should just turn the other cheek (but she has always had a soft spot for her brother, all the women in his family treat him like a baby.) So now I'm not only out of pocket $250, but I'm going to be out of pocket for Dorothy's procedure AND I need to pay for another pedigree sire before Dorothy gets too old.

Who is in the wrong here? Did I overreact? Should I let go and let God? I want to hold a family summit to shame him in front of the mother and sisters that fawn over him, but part of me knows that it's more trouble than it's worth. What would you do in my position?

quote:

I (24F) have never been hit on or flirted with, and I just want to know if this is common?

So, this is a short post. I'm 24 and have never been hit on and have never been flirted with. And it's not really a case of me not detecting flirtation. Men I don't know never approach me or speak to me, unless it's at work or something. I'm pretty new to the bar scene and try to look friendly, but I'm always ignored. I don't have resting bitch face either. Am I just ugly? I didn't think I was. I'm no beauty but I'm okay. Is there something I can do? I know I can always approach men but according to my friends my situation is very unusual and I'd like to just ask about it and see.

tl;dr: 24 year old woman, never been flirted with.

Gaunab posted:

NomChompsky posted:

This right here is one of the ways porn legit fucks people up.

quote:

Me [28M] with my 22F approx 6 months (dating), She wants to have sex with another girl.

I met 22F initially when I was not looking for anything serious, and we started off as FBs. After a while I started to develop feelings and we started dating/ seeing each other. I told her initially that I was looking for something serious and usually do not date 21/22 year olds as my ex (dated her when she was 21) wanted to explore other people and have an open relationship by 23/24 (final year of college). I tried to be open to this and even slept with other people but ended up resenting her.

Me and 22F are now 'exclusively seeing each other' though I have some doubts on this as I am still trying to find out if I can stay with her for the rest of my life. This has the longest I have 'seen/dated' someone, as usually by 3 months I figure out I don't like the girl or have commitment issues and leave. We both have very high sex drives. I have slept with alot of women since my ex (my ex was the second person I slept with)

22F has now expressed desire to have sex with another girl. I am not comfortable with this, as I feel that it would be a repeat of my previous relationship, and get that sick feeling in my stomach. However, I have also slept with another girl during our exclusive period. I feel it is only fair to let her do the same, and if it is something that she wishes to explore and needs to know how it feels then I should not stop her.

Im not sure how I will feel should she do this or if I should give her permission to. I may resent her or I may be OK with it. I am still exploring whether this relationship would last, as I do like her. If I don't let her do it, I feel she would resent me for not giving her the opportunity and she would bring it up again in the future. my ex had initially brought up an open relationship to which I said no, but eventually she cheated on me anyway and I agreed to an open relationship. This ended up with each one of us having sex with other people whenever we told each other we had slept with someone.

If this situation was to happen a second time around I don't feel as though I would be as hurt as the first time, where I was physically sick when she told me. I feel as though Iv been conditioned more to accept it.

I don't currently 'love' 22F yet so I can leave the relationship without getting too emotionally ruined. I did love my ex and I was a wreck when I left her.

Thoughts?

tl;dr: Girl I am dating wants to have sex with another girl. I am not sure how I feel. Do I give her permission?

Gaunab posted:

Mirthless posted:

oral sex is pretty awesome to be fair

nobody should be pressured into doing it if they don't want to, though.

ArbitraryC posted:

Yeah this is kinda mixed to me, on one hand if you don't wanna do something sexually you obviously shouldn't have to and it's not okay for your partner to pressure you about it, on the other hand if the guy is going down on her it really only seems fair to get the favor returned.

Pick posted:

She is blowing him she just doesn't want to swallow that nasty loving garbage

Mirthless posted:

Skinny women who love big ol' fat dudes always makes me laugh, I wonder if there's any weird feeder ladies out there who've gotta make their men fatter, like there is with dudes?

I think she's right to be concerned, he is on a slippery slope right now to getting fatter, but he was already quite fat when they got together. Healthy weight for a dude of that height is around 180lbs, and that's assuming a big frame. If he was 300lbs before, the dude had a legitimate problem with food - addiction level problem - and if he's eating fast food all the time and has gained 30lbs in a "recent" timeframe I think it's fair to say he's relapsing and something needs to be done before he eats himself into an early grave.

ArbitraryC posted:

If he's actually getting her off it's not like he's not getting a continuous mouthful of her stuff too. It's not like it tastes amazing.

CharlestheHammer posted:

Well that's on him

ArbitraryC posted:

Right all I'm saying is it's a bit selfish, she is totally within her right to not do stuff she's not comfortable with in the bedroom but that doesn't mean you can't call it a bit stingy when looking at the situation as a whole.

Mirthless posted:

this has to be the most clueless woman on planet earth

i feel bad for the hundreds, if not thousands of men who have attempted to flirt with her only to feel that they were shot down in the most cold and merciless way possible.

Pick posted:

gently caress you

ArbitraryC posted:

If a dude liked getting blown but was "uncomfortable" with going down on his girl would you staunchly defend his sexual right to choose what he is and isn't comfortable with or would you make fun of him.

ArbitraryC posted:

Right all I'm saying is it's a bit selfish, she is totally within her right to not do stuff she's not comfortable with in the bedroom but that doesn't mean you can't call it a bit stingy when looking at the situation as a whole.

Improbable Lobster posted:

She's already blowing him

Improbable Lobster posted:

I don't know why some people are obsessed with cum swallowing. They've already blown their load, who cares about what happens to it afterwards

Tears In A Vial posted:

My (25F) boyfriend (26M) of more than 2 years has a really weird specific fetish... like not one I think anyone will have heard of

Khorne posted:

205 at 6'1 is like your abs might be showing.

Themata posted:

Maybe she actually doesn't get hit on much? At least not by people she doesn't know. She says nothing however about those she does. The only men I can think of that have attempted to flirt with me in recent memory were people I was already at least acquainted with and I only knew because either my girlfriend said they were (some guy asked if I wanted to grab dinner after class and he'd pay - I thought he was just trying to be nice cause we were friends, but she said that wasn't the case), or because I asked them directly (when I was with my ex, some guy asked if I wanted to come back to his place and spend the night and I only got suspicious once he held my hand). The latter also said I can't ask questions like that because it made him feel embarrassed.

ArbitraryC posted:

Finishing with a handy just isn't the same.

Pick posted:

Interestingly, oral and anal sex were not particularly common in relationships in the early 1900s; it became more common with "sexual liberation" and now with the proliferation of pornography is considered essentially mandatory.