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FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

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xeria
Jul 26, 2004

Ruh roh...

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

First step to the London Jets.

Well poo poo, if the Jets take that London spot prophesied for the Jaguars, what's the next option? Moscow Jaguars?

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

xeria posted:

Well poo poo, if the Jets take that London spot prophesied for the Jaguars, what's the next option? Moscow Jaguars?

come on, in trumps america we give russia good things

xeria
Jul 26, 2004

Ruh roh...

shiksa posted:

come on, in trumps america we give russia good things

I full-throatedly support the New England Patriots becoming the Moscow Komrades.

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo

a patagonian cavy posted:

Gonna have to change the mascot to DB Cooper while they're at it

They'll probably have to sign nothing but British players after the Brexit too. Pretty much need a head to toe re-branding.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

sorry if your owner isn't woke like Steve Ross

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







quote:

Free agent Johnny Manziel admits he was "lost in the sauce" last year.

Manziel also called himself a name, and said he's now focusing on "trying to be a good PERSON." He's apparently attempting a comeback. Manziel is still only 24, but a no-room-for-error "prospect" who's been a disaster off the field is going to be disappointed if he's waiting for the phone to ring.

lol calling it the sauce like he's loving dean martin or something

a patagonian cavy
Jan 12, 2009

UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

Azhais posted:

They'll probably have to sign nothing but British players after the Brexit too. Pretty much need a head to toe re-branding.

Gonna give Rex Grossman a British passport to play for them, after some dude mathematically "proves" that throwing the ball the longest way in the smallest number of passes correlates with more touchdowns :itisabritishsoccerlongballeraanalogy:

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
https://twitter.com/JManziel2/status/822158779848343552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr
The alcoholic version of the guy who only shows up at the gym during January.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Johnny Manziel shows all the textbook signs of a guy who's helplessly addicted and still hasn't hit rock bottom.

Still it was pretty funny when he promised to go clean....after this sick party this weekend.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
Gonna hazard a guess and say he was trashed when he tweeted this

iospace
Jan 19, 2038



Who is this guy?

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


sirtommygunn posted:

lmao poor billionaire needs an apology for getting a punishment so harsh his team will still end up in the AFC championship game at worst every year until Brady retires. Maybe next time he shouldn't publicly call out his judge, jury and executioner before the sentence is handed out.

he ended up being right so uh.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal

iospace posted:

Who is this guy?

Rams starting quarterback.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

Gonna hazard a guess and say he was trashed when he tweeted this

at 2 PM? high bar to clear

a patagonian cavy
Jan 12, 2009

UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

iospace posted:

Who is this guy?

but for the Chargers making GBS threads themselves in Week 16, the most recent Browns starting QB to win a game.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

corn on the cop posted:

at 2 PM? high bar to clear

Let he who has never been wasted at 2 PM cast the first stone

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







corn on the cop posted:

at 2 PM? high bar to clear

how else do you think he wakes up every day at the crack of noon?

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

FizFashizzle posted:

lol calling it the sauce like he's loving dean martin or something

Naw he's just trendy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekqu_Ku7nuY

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Ringer did an oral history of the tuck rule game and the year that led up to it that's really good: https://theringer.com/nfl-playoffs-tuck-rule-oral-history-raiders-patriots-15-years-later-d731b0a6d00e#.pi4mdgsnt

quote:

Phil Simms (CBS broadcaster): I remember a snowball being thrown from somewhere in the middle of the stands, and I was turning to my right, looking at Greg Gumbel, and for some unbelievable reason, I saw the snowball coming at me and moved my head just a little. It nicked the side of my nose and hit the wall behind me, and it was like a grenade just went off. That was during the game! And the most amazing thing is that I didn’t curse on the air, because it was an ice ball. And I thought, “If that thing would have hit me in the face, it would have definitely knocked me out.”

Walter: We were messing around with shoes to wear, and luckily they had the old [heating] coils under the field so there was footing underneath the snow. And the snow was kind of fluffy. But I remember at halftime [Oakland punter] Shane Lechler and I trying to practice, and we were literally laughing out loud. Some punts we would launch, and some we’d slide forward and hit the drat thing off our shin. We’re like, “Bro, this game needs to be over.”

Anonymous fan: We had been drinking quite a bit of whiskey trying to keep warm in the parking lot. We found our seats, watched a couple of series, and then went looking for food. On the way, my friend fell over in the concourse. I was helping him up and a cop detained us both. We were put in separate paddy wagons, driven to the Foxborough jail, and were eventually released when his other friends thought to check the jail at about 2 a.m. I missed the entire game, but every new arrival to the jail was an opportunity for a score update.

Pereira: Anytime I would get a fax after that from the Raiders, it would come with a still photo of Brady with two hands on the ball. All the way through 2009 or 2010. I mean, we’re in 2017, for God’s sake, and I still get, “It was a fumble.” But still photos are nothing. It’s the process of bringing the ball back into the body. If you want to use a still photo, then go ahead and call roughing the passer on Woodson for clubbing at the quarterback’s arm.

blue squares
Sep 28, 2007

corn on the cop posted:

at 2 PM? high bar to clear

It's 2:46 CST and I've had four beers

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


https://mobile.twitter.com/NFL/status/822187295952355328

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
why are americans so dumb

iospace
Jan 19, 2038



:ughh:

Blarfk
Dec 26, 2003


I like how the all-caps emphasis makes it seem like he is currently something other than human.....

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves
I believe the implication is supposed to be "as opposed to being a good football player"

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Blarfk posted:

I like how the all-caps emphasis makes it seem like he is currently something other than human.....
That something would be a piece of poo poo

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

why are americans so dumb

We cut live now to Derek Carr's Twitter account:

https://twitter.com/derekcarrqb/status/822189685988409348
https://twitter.com/derekcarrqb/status/822193290644627456
https://twitter.com/derekcarrqb/status/822197742092984321

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


a patagonian cavy posted:

but for the Chargers making GBS threads themselves in Week 16, the most recent Browns starting QB to win a game.

No wonder he's not relevant

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Has kraft ever been to Russia? Surely with all his shady business dealings he's been there once or twice.

Putin almost certainly has a sex tape of him as well.

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

swickles posted:

Especially since teams like the Pats list Brady as questionable for like 12 games a season. Who cares if he is going to play anyway, just list everyone with a bruise.

I think that's way more of a result of the NFL eliminating the "probable" designation for injured players. That was more or less the dumping ground for any players with minor or lingering issues that were still pretty much locks to suit up. Now you've got guys like Brady, who show up on the injury report with a bruised thigh or some poo poo, on the same list as dudes who are only a few weeks removed from a major sprain or tear. They've got to figure out a way to allow teams to represent players that are technically injured but are certain to play, because if they're starting to go after teams that fail to list injured players, poo poo is about to get crazy.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

FizFashizzle posted:

Has kraft ever been to Russia? Surely with all his shady business dealings he's been there once or twice.

Putin almost certainly has a sex tape of him as well.

there's already a more embarrassing video tho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QeitEjj6wk

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Jesus is my king to

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

seiferguy posted:

The Seahawks probably won't lose a 2nd, but likely they'll lose a 4th or 5th, unless Roger decides to be an rear end in a top hat about it.

Can't wait to see the rating this gets on yourteamcheats.com!

Holy poo poo, I have never heard of that site. :staredog: Man, Patriots fans get really pissy about the tiniest things. Can't they just enjoy being dominant for over a decade without imagining giant conspiracies against them?

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


Some can, others are Boston townies

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

fack yew, poosey

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

whiteyfats posted:

Holy poo poo, I have never heard of that site. :staredog: Man, Patriots fans get really pissy about the tiniest things. Can't they just enjoy being dominant for over a decade without imagining giant conspiracies against them?

There are christians in america that imagine persecution

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

got any sevens posted:

There are christians in america that imagine persecution

pats fan coworker believes he is a persecuted white male Christian and he believes in the anti pats conspiracy

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Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


gently caress derek carr.

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