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spankmeister posted:i would be your manager minivan, my resume is free of spelling and grammatical errors, and does not repeat anything. if you're in/willing to move to chicago and know how to ops devs and reliable sites send me your drat resume and save me from reading another one of these
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Jan 20, 2017 02:05
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oh god this one lists "Waterfall" under Skills: Processes. I just highlighted it and wrote "why. why why why." next to it.
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Jan 20, 2017 02:09
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I'm trying something new with my resumé. instead of a list of accomplishments, each job details section reads like a paragraph. it's actually longer but easier to read and hopefully not terribly boring.
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Jan 20, 2017 02:13
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lol if your resume has ever been anything but a formality for some checkbox hr requires
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Jan 20, 2017 02:14
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The Management posted:I'm trying something new with my resumé. [...] it's actually longer no thanks
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Jan 20, 2017 02:14
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Management" post="468534370"] I'm trying something new with my resumé. instead of a list of accomplishments, each job details section reads like a paragraph. it's actually longer but easier to read and hopefully not terribly boring. [/quote] is it more than a page? yes: try again no: ok thanks
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Jan 20, 2017 02:16
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mishaq posted:lol if your resume has ever been anything but a formality for some checkbox hr requires a resume has at least three audiences
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Jan 20, 2017 02:18
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minivanmegafun posted:ugh I hate interviewing other people so much i had to review a resume that was 20+ pages once i threw it away
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Jan 20, 2017 02:18
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and over 2 pages long.
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Rex-Goliath posted:i had to review a resume that was 20+ pages once i never read past the first page i don't really care what you did more than 10 years ago anyway
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Jan 20, 2017 02:21
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oh if we're gonna hate on recruiters i guess i'll toss this gem out again
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Jan 20, 2017 02:22
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not sure if that's better or worse than the form letters the rest of them send out but it was certainly more memorable
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Jan 20, 2017 02:23
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non-agenda-based conversation, lmao
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Jan 20, 2017 03:04
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recruiters are almost all incredibly bad. not all of them though, because one got me a job
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Jan 20, 2017 03:09
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Elder Postsman posted:non-agenda-based conversation, lmao How do you do, fellow humans
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Jan 20, 2017 03:11
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Rex-Goliath posted:oh if we're gonna hate on recruiters i guess i'll toss this gem out again condolences if you live near/go to/work at PSU
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Jan 20, 2017 03:11
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Notorious b.s.d. posted:a resume has at least three audiences our customer wants resumes presumably so they know that they're paying for someone with the right tier of skills, so they get the resume made in ms word instead of LaTeX (that i haven't updated since the last time i needed a resume to get a job)
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Jan 20, 2017 03:19
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quote:is it more than a page? nope. well, page 2 has literally a pile of buzzwords on it for database searches and that's it.
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Jan 20, 2017 04:06
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The Management posted:nope. well, page 2 has literally a pile of buzzwords on it for database searches and that's it. go all the way and throw in a sql injection if they're not going to read it
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Jan 20, 2017 05:03
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Notorious b.s.d. posted:ask her for her salary, the CTO's salary, and the cap table
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Jan 20, 2017 05:33
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i may or may not have put in my two weeks' notice the day after my boss gave me a glowing annual review, oops
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Jan 20, 2017 16:46
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chmods please posted:i may or may not have put in my two weeks' notice the day after my boss gave me a glowing annual review, oops did the raise go through and the bonus check clear?
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Jan 20, 2017 16:47
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The Management posted:did the raise go through and the bonus check clear? that would have been next month. imo it would come across as significantly more petty to quit *after* being guaranteed a bonus and a fatter final paycheck. i like my boss and don't want to burn that bridge.
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Jan 20, 2017 17:48
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chmods please posted:that would have been next month. imo it would come across as significantly more petty to quit *after* being guaranteed a bonus and a fatter final paycheck. i like my boss and don't want to burn that bridge. who cares, stack the paper.
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Jan 20, 2017 18:01
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my bonus check got deposited today, hopefully the interview I had yesterday pans out and I can drop notice late next week, gently caress this place.
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Jan 20, 2017 18:02
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I quit my job a month after my bonus, it's for last year's performance
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Jan 20, 2017 18:19
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qirex posted:I quit my job a month after my bonus, it's for last year's performance this is correct. bonus is for work already done. if you did the work, you deserve the bonus.
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Jan 20, 2017 18:23
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jony neuemonic posted:who cares, stack the paper. The Management posted:this is correct. bonus is for work already done. if you did the work, you deserve the bonus.
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Jan 20, 2017 20:23
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companies that only give you your year's worth of 401k match in one lump sum at the end of the year are the worst
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Jan 20, 2017 20:24
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mishaq posted:companies that only give you your year's worth of 401k match in one lump sum at the end of the year are the worst is this a thing?
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Jan 20, 2017 21:49
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krooj posted:is this a thing? yep, i know people who have worked at companies that do this usually its a cost cutting measure that fucks over people that leave/are fired before the end of the year thankfully never worked at one personally
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Jan 20, 2017 21:51
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I'll have to fill in the thread on cost-cutting fuckery once my company is done being merged with another. I'm at the point of giving zero fucks whether I lose my job and I'm not even a US citizen, just down here on a TN visa 
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Jan 20, 2017 22:12
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Can I make mad bank as an independent PCI or other standard auditor/assessor? I have my CISSP and years of experience auditing and securing 
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Jan 20, 2017 22:56
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I keep bouncing from stepping stone job to stepping stone job. I turn 33 soon and I'm not making the national median per person wage. Feels weird and I don't care for it or the outlook.
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Jan 21, 2017 00:46
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I was trying to email in an application last night, and it kept bouncing, I double checked the address was right several times even going back and copy/pasting it from the advert. Since the deadline was the next day I panicked and sent an email to the guy I knew was actually going to be choosing applicants and let them know that the email address in the advert wasn't working. 30 minutes later I return to a flurry of emails I'd been CC'ed into where it turns out there was a typo in the email listed in advert that literally spelt the name of the company wrong and I hadn't noticed 
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Jan 21, 2017 01:10
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vodkat posted:I was trying to email in an application last night, and it kept bouncing, I double checked the address was right several times even going back and copy/pasting it from the advert. Since the deadline was the next day I panicked and sent an email to the guy I knew was actually going to be choosing applicants and let them know that the email address in the advert wasn't working. 30 minutes later I return to a flurry of emails I'd been CC'ed into where it turns out there was a typo in the email listed in advert that literally spelt the name of the company wrong and I hadn't noticed you failed the attention to detail test but may have saved it with proactive and communicates well.
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Jan 21, 2017 01:51
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lol hired.com can't find embedded software jobs in the Bay Area
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Jan 23, 2017 22:43
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even embedded is web dev now - just need one guy to figure out how to shoehorn node.js onto a armv5 and then everyone else can just write JavaScript that executes so slowly there's a 10s lag between a button press and your IoT light bulb turning on!
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Jan 23, 2017 22:52
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hobbesmaster posted:even embedded is web dev now - just need one guy to figure out how to shoehorn node.js onto a armv5 and then everyone else can just write JavaScript that executes so slowly there's a 10s lag between a button press and your IoT light bulb turning on! i really enjoy our ceo yelling at us about performance all the time, meanwhile our frontend is some webforms monstrosity and it's like no poo poo everything is laggy to hell.
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Jan 24, 2017 00:12
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The Management posted:lol hired.com can't find embedded software jobs in the Bay Area yeah I got nothing for UX design except to a helpful tip to add python, rails and angular to my profile I'm pretty sure they have basically no inventory beyond a few generic webdev jobs at bad places
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Jan 24, 2017 00:52
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Eh, Apple passed on me. They wanted in-depth knowledge of Swift and IOS coming in, which I obviously can't provide since I don't work on those at all in my job. The hunt continues.
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Jan 24, 2017 02:04
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