Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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Moleboy: Apr 20, 2011; Looksy
-Hindsight-

Looking Back, I am sure of 2 things:
1. I should have found the thread before it finished
2. Grimper may have actually done one or two things wrong

I do believe I am now 2 for 2 in getting snake venomed and headcapped.

this new serpent mans meta is disappointing.

Nerf Snakemans!

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:42

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# ? May 28, 2024 23:11

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

Spermy Smurf posted:

In my defense the bribes for running fights this round are really poor.

Last year I got all sorts of awesome stuff but now its just nothing but unsolicited dick pics.

And whoever it is needs to have that bump checked out. Also: the incredble bend is alarming and unsettling.

That's not a bribe.

# ? Jan 11, 2017 04:49

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Figured it would be hard to go wrong with a dwarf and a giant axe, but looks like someone's getting her beard shaved. :commissar:

# ? Jan 11, 2017 04:59

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I just want to remind everyone that even though my fighter has been unsuccessful so far, I know in my heart that I am smarter and nicer and better at Dwarf Fortress than any of you.

And also taller.

# ? Jan 11, 2017 05:03

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Round 2, Fight 8 :siren:

1056 Armok Arena League Champions (1-0) is on the left side of the arena.
The Million Dollar Tigerman (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Zombie Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male troll. He wields an iron two-handed sword and a wooden shield and wears an iron mail shirt.
Stabbington McStabbystabs (Lady Teacup) is a male kobold. He wields an iron large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears no armor.

And The Horse They Rode On (0-1) is on the right side of the arena.
Hecarim (Galick) is a male molemarian. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Not A Kobold (Tiler Kiwi) is a male dwarf. He wields a bronze spear and a wooden shield and wears no armor.
Hobert (gbuchold) is a male minotaur. He wields a copper flail and wears a bronze cap, leather leggings, and leather high boots.

1056 Armok Arena League Champions is a 1.94 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3829.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1970.00 dwarfbucks for And The Horse They Rode On.

The size looks about even across the board. This is going to be a bloodbath.

Whats this? Not a Kobold's eyes just rolled back in his head for a minute. Now they're all black. Oh poo poo he's in a trance!

The trance pays off and the dwarf thrusts his spear into Stabbington's right shin, snapping it in half. Down goes the kobold.

Not a Kobold, still tranced up, spins on a heel and stabs Million Dollar Tigers right shin as well! The bone is chipped and Tiger is in pain!

Hobert the minotaur brings his flail down onto the fallen Stabbington's left thigh will all of his might and the kobolds leg is smashed into pieces. Stabbington gives in to pain.

Zombie Rob Ford charges at Not a Kobold but the tranced dwarf dodges easily. In the north Hecarim the moleman bites the distracted Tiger.

Not a Kobold spins away from Rob Fords charge, thrusts his spear into Stabbington's brain, and spins back to face the oncoming troll.

The troll barely registers the dwarfs spear before it cracks against his mail. Rob Fords guts are bruised, and the spear dips and twirls with incredible speed. Rob Ford puts up his shield and charges to disrupt the deadly dwarf.

Not a Kobold dances away with laughter. Hobert lumbers forward and swings that flail again. It connects with Rob Fords right foot which fractures bone. Rob Ford finishes his charge with all of his weight on his left foot. Hobert reaches down and scratches the troll's already-broken foot and tears the ankle muscles. Rob Ford falls to the ground and out of the corner of his eye sees that deadly bronze spear just before it pierces his arm. Rob Ford passes out.

In the north Tiger is throwing Hecarim back and forth without ever releasing his grip. The moleman slams into the ground, is thrown again, and then slams into the ground yet again. I picture it like Hulk grabbing Loki and just slam slam slam slam slam.

Hobert manages to crush Rob Fords skull with his copper flail.

Hecarim watches his teammates finish off the second gladiator just before he slams into the floor. He is picked up and thrown yet again but he manages to smile when his teammates charge Tiger. And then he slams into the floor again.

Armor protects Tiger for a few blows but finally Not a Kobold puts his spear through an iron gauntlet. This gruesome injury, combined with the previous chipped bone in the leg, proves too much and Tiger passes out.

Hecarim stands up, glad to not be thrown around like a rag doll anymore. Not a Kobold puts his spear through Tigers face to end the match.

And The Horse They Rode On might have gotten lucky with a martial trance, but either way that was a severe 3-0 asskicking.

Kills:
Not a Kobold: 2
Hobert: 1

Combat Log

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Jan 13, 2017

# ? Jan 13, 2017 14:05

Tiler Kiwi: Feb 26, 2011

nerf dwarfs

# ? Jan 13, 2017 17:26

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Round 2, Fight 2 :siren:

Bizarrest Overthinkers (0-1) is on the left side of the arena.
Neck Size Optimiser (AJ_Impy) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears no armor.
GRAARG! (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears no armor.
Polyctena the Survivor (Maigius) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a copper spear and a copper shield and wears a copper helm, two copper mail shirts, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots.

not going to overthink things (0-1) is on the right side of the arena.
Noose (frankenfreak) is a male strangler. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Yet I Live (Maugrim) is a female yeti. She wields a bronze halberd and wears a bronze cap.
The Green Menace (captaindirtnap) is a male elf. He wields a copper mace and wears no armor.

not going to overthink things is a 2.96 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 1265.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 427.00 dwarfbucks for Bizarrest Overthinkers.

Its like looking into a mirror! Well, except for the Ant/Elf battle we're about to see it's a virtual mirror thing. Oh, and the fact that the yetis and stranglers are different genders.

The fighters meet. Yet I Live spent the entire run to the center of the arena winding up for a hell of a swing. She manages to clip Neck Size's head and sends his ear flying. First blood was a non-issue this fight.

The rest of the first round of combat was spent blocking, dodging, and sorting out into 1v1's.

Yet I Live draws second blood as well. GRAAARG falls to the floor with a ruined foot. Green Menace follows in his teammates footsteps and ruins one of Polyctena's feet as well. The Antwoman falls to the floor and rolls away to dodge the next attack.

And then just like that the fight is all but over. Yet I Live sends her huge halberd deep into GRAARG's stomach, and the male yeti crumples.

Neck Size dives and bites Yet I Live on the thigh, but she shakes him loose and plants her halberd deep into his chest. Neck Size passes out as well.

Yet I Live removes Neck Size's head.

And then she takes of GRAAARG's head.

And then it's a 3v1 against a downed Antwoman. Green Menace pulps an arm. Yet I Live removes another arm. Yet I Live removes her third head of the match.

I never once mentioned Noose, the male strangler on the winning team. There is a reason for that: He didn't do anything. A dodge, drawing 2 attacks in his direction, and then grabbing an arm of the almost-dead Antwoman at the end.

not going to overthink things wins with an easy 3-0 victory. Yet I Live took a small scratch and bruise to her thigh and that was the only injury for the entire team.

Kills:
Yet I Live: 3

Combat Log

# ? Jan 13, 2017 18:43

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

A yeti with a halberd was a great idea apparently.

# ? Jan 13, 2017 19:12

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

arena binary: 03300030 03303300 03303333 03303333 03300300

# ? Jan 13, 2017 19:16

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

jon joe posted:

arena binary: 03300030 03303300 03303333 03303333 03300300

Your team is either GOOD or TRASH. Binary logic is unforgiving

# ? Jan 13, 2017 19:19

Lady Teacup: Dec 6, 2016

I hate to say it AGAIN but since Bronzestabbed is now 2 for 2 in terms of Dwarves getting a trance on the first line of combat this round

jon joe posted:

Wonder how it would have gone without the trance.

Also, holy crap, only one more chance for this round to not end in straight 3-0 victories. I have to admit, the roflstomps aren't as entertaining as closer matches.

# ? Jan 13, 2017 19:38

Maugrim: Feb 16, 2011; I eat your face

Splode posted:

A yeti with a halberd was a great idea apparently.

It promised to be entertainining if nothing else.

# ? Jan 17, 2017 09:02

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Running my own fight to end the round. Totally cheating obviously.

:siren:

Round 2, Fight 1 :siren:

Bizarrer Adventurers (1-0) is on the left side of the arena.
DickSpear (Spermy Smurf) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears an iron cap, leather armor, leather leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Snakes Laugh At The Human 1/2 (Tunicate) is a female serpent man. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm and an adamantine mail shirt.
BEHOLD! a beehole? (Anchors) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears an adamantine helm.

Bizarre Adventurers (1-0) is on the right side of the arena.
The Last Pirouette (I R SMART LIKE ROCK) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt.
Kung-Fu Prancer (astus) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Iam Lefthanded (habituallyred) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron long sword and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm.

Bizarrer Adventurers is a 1.41 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5384.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 3812.00 dwarfbucks for Bizarre Adventurers.

And because I'm a giant dummy who named his team dumbly thinking I'd never have to run my own fight and have this problem: The team names in the combat log are "ERER" and "BIZ." And yes, I know "erer" doesn't really make sense, but "bizzarrer" would have been a dumber moniker so this is what I settled on and if you don't like it you can go to heck.

My team is at a severe size disadvantage.

The gladiators clash, everyone at about the same speed. Prancer the minotaur grabs the goblin BEHOLD by the throat! Snakes bites Pirouette in the left arm and immediately injects venom. Pirouette isn't phased by this and bites DickSpear in the stomach, making him nauseous. Will the venom take hold and paralyze the evil werewolf before the peoples favorite gets shaken back and forth and basically killed for the fight?

BEHOLD is in a 1v2 with his throat held by a huge minotaur. The goblin absorbs a punch and deflects the huge sword swung by Lefthanded despite being immobilized.

BOOM! Venom courses through Pirouettes veins and down goes the evil werewolf. DickSpear is no longer nauseous, just bruised. Snakes begins shaking Pirouette around.

Kung Fu Prancer begins squeezing BEHOLD's throat and soon the little goblin passes out.

Dickspear smashes his iron axe against an iron helmet of Pirouette, but it does nothing.

And here we sit for about an hour. BEHOLD is saved by an unlikely charge from LeftHanded that misses and forces Kung Fu Prancer to dodge away and release his stranglehold.

Iron axe clangs against iron helm up north. Snakes shakes violently but does nothing. In the south Kung Fu Prancer doesn't go for the easy stranglehold again, but LeftHanded beings slashing BEHOLD's body to shreds.

I just noticed why Kung Fu didn't go for the stranglehold again. He grabbed the silver warhammer from BEHOLD and is using that instead. My team might be saved by a ~~glitch~~ feature of DF!

DickSpear hasn't changed targets. The iron axe vs iron helm is nothing short of annoying. DickSpear will not change targets so he's pretty much out for the fight. My team might be hosed by a ~~glitch~~ feature of DF.

Kung Fu Prancer pops and locks various limbs on the unconscious goblin before LeftHanded's sword chops BEHOLD nearly in two.

LeftHanded and Kung Fu Prancer both attack Snakes. The war hammer bruises the snake, and the huge iron sword chops deep into Snakes hand. Snakes does what Snakes does and bites LeftHanded in the thigh which injects venom and down goes LeftHanded.

Dumbface DickSpear still clangs uselessly up north.

Kung Fu attacks and bruises Snakes again.

Bad idea, Kung Fu.

Snakes says "you get some venom, you get some venom, and you get some venom" and down goes the huge minotaur.

Snakes begins thrashing him around just like he thrashed his teammates around. If any of them wake up they'll be in severe pain, so it's just a matter of "can DickSpear not be a useless gently caress for the rest of the fight?"

3 hours pass posted:

Pirouette woke up! The evil werewolf forces DickSpear to dodge back, breaking his focus on the helmet!

Note: So this entire time Pirouettes teeth have been latched onto DickSpear's waist. He never let go throughout the paralyzing or thrashing he took from Snakes.

DickSpear takes advantage of his newfound movement and removes some legs, nearly severing some arms, and chopping deep into his chest.

And that's one for DickSpear.

1 hour passes posted:

DickSpear chops the tigerchick up for a long time before she finally bleeds to death.

Kung Fu Prancer is still being thrashed around by Snakes.

1 hour passes posted:

This combat log is a mile long. What a shitshow.

Bizarrer Adventurers wins with a annoying as poo poo 3-1 victory. Thanks to Snakes for the win.

Kills:
DickSpear: 3
LeftHanded: 1

Combat Log

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:40 on Jan 18, 2017

# ? Jan 18, 2017 14:24

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Alright, everyone can place new bets and update their fighters with the 7 points they got for being active! Buy yourself something pretty! :siren:

# ? Jan 18, 2017 14:42

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Our killstealing plan is foolproof!

# ? Jan 18, 2017 19:12

I R SMART LIKE ROCK: Mar 10, 2003; I just want a hug.; Fun Shoe

gently caress snakes and the venom they rode in on :argh:

I R SMART LIKE ROCK fucked around with this message at 08:55 on Jan 19, 2017

# ? Jan 18, 2017 21:30

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

I hereby open a bounty on snakes. That'll get rid of the snake problem, right?

# ? Jan 18, 2017 21:34

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Sorry I have been slow on updates lately... or the entire round so far.

Neverwinter Nights was on sale on GOG a while back (Free!) and I knew drat well I didnt have time to start that game but monks are unstoppable and, well you know.

# ? Jan 20, 2017 01:19

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Round 3, Fight 8 :siren:

gently caress Rogers Tribute (2-0) is on the left side of the arena.
( . Y . ) (Bad Munki) is a male dwarf. He wields a copper war hammer and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.
Gnobody Important (Gnoman) is a female human. She wields a bronze pike and wears a bronze helm, a bronze mail shirt, leather leggings, bronze gauntlets, and leather high boots.
One of Heygals Guys (Splode) is a male human. He wields an iron pike and wears no armor.

1056 Armok Arena League Champions (1-1) is on the right side of the arena.
The Million Dollar Tigerman (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Zombie Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male troll. He wields an iron two-handed sword and a wooden shield and wears an iron mail shirt.
Stabbington McStabbystabs (Lady Teacup) is a male kobold. He wields an iron large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears no armor.

gently caress Rogers Tribute is a 3.01 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2407.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 800.00 dwarfbucks for 1056 Armok Arena League Champions.

Wait a minute. Did Jazz change Munkis name? Wasn't it an ASCII dick? Now it's boobs? His name in combat log is Boobs_Fuck. Awesome.

The fighters clash, dodging, jumping away, and then a savage crack as Boobs fractures Million Dollar Tigers left shin through his boot. Million Dollar Tiger gets to second base withBoobs and pulls the dwarf to the floor with him.

Heygals pike sings and Rob Ford's tusk goes flying. Boobs gets to his feed and Gnobody stabs the downed tiger in the guts. Armor holds and it just causes a bruise to the guts and nausea.

Rob Ford chases Heygals to the south. The huge troll can't keep up with the humans pike and soon Rob Fords sword clangs to the floor due to a broken forearm.

In the north it's "swing at the downed tiger" day and a paw is cut, guts are further bruised, the tiger throws up and then throws Boobs twelve feet through the air. Boobs bounce as they land and get to their feet.
Stabbington can't connect with Gnobody. The human dodges while keeping up a flurry of blows on the downed Million Dollar Tiger.

Down south Rob Ford abandons all finesse and charges Heygals.

A savage blow fractures Rob Fords hand and he passes out. His head is shattered by Heygals moments later.

Stabbington has finally got the attention of Gnobody, but the tiny kobold bit off more than he could chew. The Kobold is sent tumbling from a charge from the larger human... and then Heygals arrives and tears Stabbingtons arm apart, forcing the dagger from numbed hands.

But wait, what's this? Heygals mistimes a charge and sends his teammate Gnobody to the floor. Million Dollar Tiger grabs Gnobody's arm from the floor. A grunt and the humans wrist is bent completely backwards! Stabbington stands up, Million Dollar takes one more stab from Gnobody and passes out immediately.

Stabbington just needs to hurt Gnobody a little and the human is bound to pass out from pain.

Two blows and Heygals breaks through the tigers helmet.

At the same time Gnobody stabs Stabbington with her pike and lifts the tiny kobold on the point. A nasty twist of the pike and Stabbington is thrown to the floor unconscious.

Gnobody takes this kill.

gently caress Rogers Tribute wins with a decisive 3-0 victory.

Kills:
One of Heygals Guys: 2
Gnobody Important: 1

Combat Log

# ? Jan 20, 2017 17:11

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Start betting you assholes.

# ? Jan 20, 2017 17:17

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

DAMNIT I FORGOT TO BET AGAIN

quote:

Wait a minute. Did Jazz change Munkis name? Wasn't it an ASCII dick? Now it's boobs? His name in combat log is Boobs_Fuck. Awesome.

No it was always that way, are you feeling okay?

# ? Jan 20, 2017 17:27

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Spermy Smurf posted:

poo poo, I didn't realize I was betting against One of Heygals Guys. Wallenstein forgive me!

# ? Jan 20, 2017 17:33

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

frankenfreak posted:

poo poo, I didn't realize I was betting against One of Heygals Guys. Wallenstein forgive me!

Random historical trivia:

The Wallenstein in question was killed by a halberd dipped in holy water because his assassins believed he was a powerful wizard. :v:

Because, unlike every other army fighting in the 30 Years War, all of his men had shoes or boots, and nobody knew how - so it had to be dark magic! (he was one of the pioneers of modern logistics)

# ? Jan 20, 2017 19:36

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

I forgot to bet, but now I have.

# ? Jan 20, 2017 22:41

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

I forgot to bet but the odds were poo poo anyway.

As hilariously impressive as Heygal's has been, as soon as he goes up against a snek he's probably hosed.

# ? Jan 20, 2017 23:44

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Anyone keeping track of kills? I think Dickspear is in the lead thanks to Snakes and his teeth.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 00:51

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Spermy Smurf posted:

Anyone keeping track of kills? I think Dickspear is in the lead thanks to Snakes and his teeth.

I haven't been keeping track of kills but it's definitely not Dickspear. It's definitely a gladiator that is less dumb and bad.

And anyway why are kills such a big deal? Aren't we to the point where we should judge a fighter by the number of her spears and not how many kills she has? I mean every fighter can get a kill but not every fighter can hold 3 spears at once.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 00:58

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Cathode Raymond posted:

I haven't been keeping track of kills but it's definitely not Dickspear. It's definitely a gladiator that is less dumb and bad.

And anyway why are kills such a big deal? Aren't we to the point where we should judge a fighter by the number of her spears and not how many kills she has? I mean every fighter can get a kill but not every fighter can hold 3 spears at once.

*nods spearingly*

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:01

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Uhh his name is DickSpear. He has two hands, therefore he also has 3 spears if his hands are full of spears.

Lawyered.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:02

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Rammed right up his urethra.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:05

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

^^^ better than whittling it into a spear shape I guess.

jon joe posted:

*nods spearingly*

*hip thrusts spearingly*

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:05

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

If you get him really excited it's like a harpoon gun.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:09

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

goatface posted:

If you get him really excited it's like a harpoon gun.

Well, that's one way to shoot ropes.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:12

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Spermy Smurf posted:

Anyone keeping track of kills? I think Dickspear is in the lead thanks to Snakes and his teeth.

Not this time, at least not yet. Might put a tally together if things clear up a bit.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 01:40

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Round 3, Fight 7 :siren:

And The Horse They Rode On (1-1) is on the left side of the arena.
Hecarim (Galick) is a male molemarian. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.
Not A Kobold (Tiler Kiwi) is a male dwarf. He wields a bronze spear and a wooden shield and wears iron high boots.
Hobert (gbuchold) is a male minotaur. He wields a copper flail and wears a bronze cap, leather leggings, and leather high boots.

CathodeRaymond and the Raymondsters (0-2) is on the right side of the arena.
New Violent Everywhere(?) (Cathode Raymond) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields two copper spears and an iron spear and wears an iron helm.
Norfolk En Chance (grobbendonk) is a male minotaur. He wields a copper pike and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, and leather gauntlets.
Jazzkolnikov (Jazzimus Prime) is a male human. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears an iron helm and iron high boots.

And The Horse They Rode On is a 1.11 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 1841.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1660.00 dwarfbucks for CathodeRaymond and the Raymondsters.

Size advantage is definitely with And The Horse They Rode On on the left.

Jazz connects with his axe in the opening salvo. Too bad he used the flat of his axe... In response Hobert slams Jazz's guts and now Jazz is dry heaving.

Don't worry, Jazz. Norfolk lands a devastating blow to Hoberts head with his pike. Minotaur on minotaur violence is some of the best violence to have in my opinon. Hoberts skull is fractured and he's seeing stars.

Hobert doesn't take kindly to the sneak attack by Norfolk though. He spins on a heel and shatters Norfolks right foot and down goes the minotaur.

Norfolk apparently didn't even see that blow coming because his pike connects and sends Hecarims left foot flying through the air.

New Violent and Not a Kobold duel, dodging and blocking.

Hobert turns his attention to the puking Jazz and shatters his forearm. Two charges send Jazz staggering back, and then the rest of the arm is crushed by Hoberts flail. Down goes Jazz.

Up north we've got New Violent and Norfolk stabbing at Hecarim but unable to penetrate armor. They crush a limb or two, but it's a Moleman so they are still working on a killing blow. Not a Kobold isn't doing a whole lot, dodging in and out while getting blocked by the antwomans spears.

New Violent gets annoyed and levels a kick at Hecarim. Direct shot to the skull and Hecarim is knocked unconscious.

Hobert is somehow bruising Jazz instead of crushing bodyparts now. I don't know.

Norfolk shatters Hecarims skull immediately.

In a weird twist New Violent and Not a Kobold square off in the north. Rather than help his antwoman teammate, Norfolk moves south for round 2 of Minotaur vs Minotaur.

In the north New Violent gets an arm speared. Jazz is not doing so well with crushed ribs and most of his organs.

New Violent is being parried easily. Luckily Norfolk's slow crawl down south took him right next to where Not a Kobold dodged to. Not a Kobold doesn't even see the pike that shatters his arm and forces him to drop his shield. And just like that Norfolk is past; off on his way to help Jazz.

New Violent takes full advantage and stabs Not a Kobold in the stomach and pierces the spleen. Not a Kobold drops to the floor.

Norfolk swings from behind (again) and Hobert's arm is shattered. Hobert passes out. Hobert's head is split open and Jazz is saved.

Not a Kobold's head is pierced by a spear in the north at the exact same time.

CathodeRaymond and the Raymondsters win with an odd 3-0 victory.

Kills:
Norfolk: 2
New Violent: 1

Combat Log