Kiwi Farms

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Kiwi Farms

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

i remember in 4th grade, i killed all the other kids in my class & then a kid from another class killed my mom and i was so pissed

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:22

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# ? May 17, 2024 17:59

Daikatana Ritsu: Aug 1, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V1AEvN8VZs

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:23

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

nandane kishitsumi

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:24

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

aren't all the horrible people who were contained there going to explode all over everything

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:25

Harakiri Potter: Oct 18, 2004; REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY

drat went to Kiwi Farms to check on my Iron Sheik appreciation thread and it's gone. Forever.

Do you guys even like Iron Sheik?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:27

Wagglyplacebo: Nov 13, 2012

I don't know why owo decided to post this cause its pretty embarrassing to come to a forum that we were messing with and be like "don't let what happened to us happen to you" like some kind of prophet or whatever. Kiwi will be back in some regard I'm sure.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:27

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

That's why the $10 access fee to this particular heap is so helpful in these tumultuous times.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:28

Digital Fingers: Sep 2, 2012

Daikatana Ritsu posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V1AEvN8VZs

nobody say Oda Nobunaga's name please

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:29

Digital Fingers: Sep 2, 2012

O gently caress

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:29

F1DriverQuidenBerg: Jan 19, 2014

Rhys Wilde posted:

Hello Something Awful. First of all, I would just like to specify that this is not my account, this was loaned to me to make this post. I understand that account sharing is against the rules, but hopefully, considering the circumstances, an exception will be made. I will not be using this account for long. Lowtax is going to be giving me my own account tomorrow. He has not read this post yet, but I do have his permission to post it.

I am Kiwi Farms user 'OwO What's This?' you might have recognized my avatar from this funny YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APrBdP0bBJM

I imagine a lot of you have very strong feelings about Kiwi Farms, and that's fine. I'm going to lift the veil as to the motives of a lot of our activities, and as to why the site is gone now. I feel like I should do the former first.

First of all, something to understand: There was never a real war with Something Awful, at least not from our perspective. Doxxing in our community served several purposes, but believe it or not, none of them was harassment. With respect to your community, it was a tactic used to pop social bubbles, damage safe spaces, and lift a mirror up to your community. In that respect, it worked wonders, despite loving up hilariously a couple times - like when a 'double agent' informant got us to dox the Goatse guy. Let me tell you, I found it HILARIOUS, but there were those behind the scenes that were quite bitter about the trick. Whichever goon got us with that deserves a medal.

But let's be real: You wouldn't have been a fun target if your community was doing well. It's not. There were many of those within our community who not only felt like you would be a fun target, but felt a sense of injustice that a site that used to be so legendary, a site they were a part of, was dramatically changing into one that prioritized people's feelings over comedy. There is an extremely vocal minority on your website trying to play morality police and shut down conversation.

The decision to start this mock war with your website happened when your Shmorky thread was successfully shut down by the combined efforts of a mutinous administration and their defence of a user spamming up the thread for many pages to make it unreadable. But before poo poo got dirty, the site's owner, Null, tried his hardest to reach out to Lowtax and LadyAmbien to try to help while holding back the wolves best he could. When that proved fruitless, he stopped standing in the way.

A lot of laughs were had, and the only regret shared was a lot of it came at Lowtax's expense. The grand irony of ironies is that if you had listened to Lowtax in the first place none of this would have even happened - and he's the one taking the most heat. Which is not to say Lowtax is completely blameless... he really should've stood his ground on a lot of issues. Moderators were walking all over him in public. Almost any other community, your rear end would've been handed to you for pulling something like that. My guess is a lot of people felt 'immune' due to how close-knit the moderation team is. The massive solidarity walk-out recently is evidence of this. In fact, one of your moderators was so angry that despite hating Kiwi Farms, they were going to let us into the mod forum and archive everything simply out of spite. And we weren't going to say no.

And speaking of turncoats, for all the allegations of transphobia placed on Kiwi Farms, there's something you should know - almost 100% of the information regarding transgender members of your community came from transgender people in your community - people who felt like they were shut down for wrongthink by both their peers and the backing of the administration. Of all the admin panels bans (bans that don't show up in the Leper's Colony or on people's avatars) doled out after the grand doxxing, you only managed to hit one of our informants. Literally everyone else was innocent, and I'm not making that up to help anyone.

To prove it, I would like to let you all in on another ruse - Jenner is not a troll account. She is real. Because she was trying SO HARD to get targeted by us so she could become some sort of martyr, we came up with the narrative that we discovered she was playing all of you as some sort of master class long term troll. It was wonderful to see the bait taken by so many goons pretending not to have been reading the thread. But make no mistake - so many people bought it for good reason. When you looked at her behavior, you wanted her to be fake. That's what made the lie so appealing. It is a secret we would've kept and giggled to ourselves forever had Kiwi Farms not been shut down.

Which... brings me to that unfortunate story. Null is a huge believer in free speech, and would allow just about anything to be said on his website so long as it was legal. And whether or not you agreed or disagreed with our methods, it was legal. He sees the world as becoming too big and complicated for any major public figure to face any sort of scrutiny for their actions unless it came at the sacrifice of privacy. In other words, with the incomprehensible amount of people involved in influencing the world around us and the field of journalism becoming an entertainment industry, Kiwi Farms was viewed as the lesser of two evils. If it meant to have the dick pics of EVERYONE to get to the bottom of who is accountable for what, so be it. It is so easy in this day and age to sweep things under the rug, and if Kiwi Farms hadn't existed when it did, Shmorky wouldn't have been exposed as a pedophile.

And whether or not you agree with that principle, it was a principle Null strongly believed in. He sacrificed everything for his website up until the bitter end. Kiwi Farms made an enemy, one hell of an enemy. No, not Derek Smart. This was a man with no ethics or morals, who went to any end necessary to achieve his goals. He is a man so dangerous, that even saying his name on your website puts you at risk. Now doesn't that sound silly? I imagine some of you are chuckling at the idea. But it is true. He is a man that fancies himself a literal terrorist. And for the sake of irony, I'll refer to him as Voldemort.

Without the benefit of the KF resources in front of me, it is hard to delve into specifics. Voldemort completely ruined Null's life from top to bottom, but Null wouldn't quit. Even with himself becoming unhireable due to the harassment he faced, he stuck to his principles. He wasn't going to let someone else tell him what to do. That's when Voldemort started going after Null's family. But so principled was Null that for the longest time, even as his family was harassed, he still said no. It put him at an awful strain with every relative he had.

But finally, a line was crossed. Voldemort's harassment of his mother finally became too much for him to bear. His campaign involved sending childing pornography to everyone involved in her real estate career under an endless supply of pseudonyms. Her real estate license was revoked. And something else happened very recently that he has not gotten into, not even with me, that finally convinced him to pull the plug on the entire website.

Terrorism won.

As a final plea, I want you to consider some of the values Null shared, as distasteful as you might find them. Look at the world around you and compare it to the world of years past. In many ways, it has gotten better, but I have never seen censorship like this before. Mob rule is becoming the norm, wherein we're not controlled by the majority anymore, but an extremely vocal minority whose endless patience for harassment triumphs over people who just want to live their lives.

Don't let Something Awful become like that, I beg of you.

Thank you for your time.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

....Uncle Leo?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:30

Intrinsic Field Marshal: Sep 6, 2014; by SA Support Robot

Kiwi Farms will return in some form as the other admins have access to all of the sites information and databases

My guess the trolls loving with Vordrak will fund a new incarnation of Kiwi Farms just to annoy him or someone from /cow/ (http://8ch.net/cow/catalog.html) will set up a new forum or at least a archive of the old material

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:32

PyPy: Sep 13, 2004; by vyelkin

Wait...ZDR == Kirk?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:32

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Hemingway To Go! posted:

aren't all the horrible people who were contained there going to explode all over everything

i exploded in my pants

its poop.

poop for the gbs throne

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:33

Inco: Apr 3, 2009; I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Oh wow, I glazed over that last paragraph first time around. I can't believe that you fuckers think that you're the victims.

You all should get hit by a train.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:34

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

can you gimme a summary maybe?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:39

Digital Fingers: Sep 2, 2012

Null should be thrown into a blender along with his mom, absentee father, and any siblings he may have

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:41

BexGu: Jan 9, 2004; This fucking day....

Powaqoatse posted:

can you gimme a summary maybe?

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:42

Brogeoisie: Jan 12, 2005; "Look, I'm a private citizen," he said. "One thing that I don't have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make or didn't."

shut the gently caress up

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:42

8 Ball: Nov 27, 2010; My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

thought there was gonna be a photo of like kiwis sticking out of the ground in rows but it turns out they grow on trees

doubly disappointed

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:43

Modulo16: Feb 12, 2014; "Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

Just what the gently caress is Kiwi Farms and why should I care? I did not read this thread you see.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:45

CrazyLittle: Sep 11, 2001; Clapping Larry

Why join something awful when you can just tweet at lowtax and he'll meltdown for free?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:45

Mierenneuker: Apr 28, 2010; We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

Thanks for the ten bucks, OP. We all appreciate your support.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:47

KM Scorchio: Feb 13, 2008; "If you don't find rape hilarious, you're a sensitive crybaby."

Has anyone doxxed the OP yet? I feel like someone is probably going to doxx the OP. I wish I was a big enough shitlord that the Internet felt I was worth doxxing.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:48

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

i have no idea what's going on here but i'll hazard a guess that it's the sort of thing that's important to people with no life outside of internet

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:50

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

BexGu posted:

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

cry and whine about dying by the sword

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:50

DoctorGonzo: Jul 25, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Kiwi...Farts.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:50

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

VectorSigma posted:

i have no idea what's going on here but i'll hazard a guess that it's the sort of thing that's important to people with no life outside of internet

look at this cool kid wit his skateboard and his backwards baseball cap. i would punch him if i wasnt afraid to go outside :argh:

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:51

KM Scorchio: Feb 13, 2008; "If you don't find rape hilarious, you're a sensitive crybaby."

Frank Viola posted:

Just what the gently caress is Kiwi Farms and why should I care? I did not read this thread you see.

From what I can gather a New Zealand based agricultural consortium declared war on our dead gay internet comedy forum and lost. I don't know how the gently caress you manage to lose a fight against the rotting corpse of a once mediocre website but they managed it.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:52

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

DoctorGonzo posted:

Kiwi...Farts.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:52

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Bismuth posted:

What will SA do without our valuable furry posters?

Who will keep us yiffy in our times of need?

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

Do these people seriously not know that this is specifically what the black posters asked Lowtax to do?

Wait, so is Negrotown real or not? I'm so confused.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:56

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

8 Ball posted:

thought there was gonna be a photo of like kiwis sticking out of the ground in rows but it turns out they grow on trees

doubly disappointed

Yeah, WTF is up with that anyway? If it grows on trees it is an orchard, not a farm.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:57

DickParasite: Dec 2, 2004; Slippery Tilde

I know I'm old as poo poo and have a real job and responsibilities and stuff but how do people find the time to actually do all this ridiculous cataloging of peoples' posting histories?

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:58

some bust on that guy: Jan 21, 2006; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Wagglyplacebo posted:

I don't know why owo decided to post this cause its pretty embarrassing to come to a forum that we were messing with and be like "don't let what happened to us happen to you" like some kind of prophet or whatever. Kiwi will be back in some regard I'm sure.

What will you guys do about Voldermort? Aren't you deathly afraid? We shouldn't even mention his name!

# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:59

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

Facebook Aunt posted:

Wait, so is Negrotown real or not? I'm so confused.

Negrotown is real, lowtax was specifically asked to make that forum and name it that by its own posters, and they renamed it because people online were declaring "LOWTAX FORCED ALL HIS MINORITY POSTERS INTO A FORUM CALLED NEGROTOWN"

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:04

Wagglyplacebo: Nov 13, 2012

some guy on the bus posted:

What will you guys do about Voldermort? Aren't you deathly afraid? We shouldn't even mention his name!

lol ikr

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:07

Sitting Here: Dec 31, 2007

BuckarooBanzai posted:

I know I'm old as poo poo and have a real job and responsibilities and stuff but how do people find the time to actually do all this ridiculous cataloging of peoples' posting histories?

spergs come in all shapes and sizes my friend

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:08

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Hemingway To Go! posted:

Negrotown is real, lowtax was specifically asked to make that forum and name it that by its own posters, and they renamed it because people online were declaring "LOWTAX FORCED ALL HIS MINORITY POSTERS INTO A FORUM CALLED NEGROTOWN"

i like to think that was their plan all along

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:09

CrazyLittle: Sep 11, 2001; Clapping Larry

Hemingway To Go! posted:

Negrotown is real, lowtax was specifically asked to make that forum and name it that by its own posters, and they renamed it because people online were declaring "LOWTAX FORCED ALL HIS MINORITY POSTERS INTO A FORUM CALLED NEGROTOWN"

Lowtax made the suggestion and a handful of the threads posters agreed to the idea. Lowtax just didn't realize how tone deaf it would be for him to segregate and label the forum "negrotown". Good on him for changing the name at least.

Lowtax posted:

Okay how about this: Negrotown can have its own subforum, and KM can mod it.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:11

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Hemingway To Go! posted:

Negrotown is real, lowtax was specifically asked to make that forum and name it that by its own posters, and they renamed it because people online were declaring "LOWTAX FORCED ALL HIS MINORITY POSTERS INTO A FORUM CALLED NEGROTOWN"

It was actually a name change we discussed to make the forum more welcoming to other minority groups. I don't know whose idea "The Great Race Space" was, but I like it a lot.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:13

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# ? May 17, 2024 17:59

emoji: Jun 4, 2004

Powaqoatse posted:

egh that kinda means that whoever sent it had it

thats hosed up

It would be hosed up if it actually happened. Let's believe the people who routinely use CP accusations as a weapon.

# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:13

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