WrenP-Complete posted:

I just think that is the straw that broke the camel's back because I told her that's insane. I told her I'm tired of all the animal stuff she's involved in. I told her she needs to grow up. And I told her absolutely NO to the tree frog idea. At first she was quiet but then she said something about how animals are her passion and what she does isn't stupid and she'll never get tired of animals and that I have my own hobbies too that she doesn't think are stupid and childish. She then said that tree frogs and close to nothing maintance wise and they're just pretty. Then she started getting upset and cried and left the room and when I woke up I found her asleep on the living room floor with the dogs.

WampaLord posted:

Really? Everyone else is able to just not fart if they don't want to? Even after eating beans?

WrenP-Complete posted:

My girlfriend [24 F] wanted ANOTHER pet and I [27 M] said NO.Relationships
submitted 1 year ago by TooManyPetzz

WrenP-Complete posted:

I [25 F] just kissed my father in law [~55 M]Infidelity
submitted 6 months ago by Iamhumantrash

ZombieJesus posted:

Rip her marriage

Ouhei posted:

While the woman does sound like she may be neglecting the dude a little bit, he admits that she tries to involve him in her passion for animals and he's just not trying at all. They should probably break up because he clearly doesn't like how she lives her life and she clearly isn't going to give up what she does.

Tolkien minority posted:

this is exactly what happened in the update

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3vghs9/update_my_girlfriend_24_f_wanted_another_pet_and/

WrenP-Complete posted:

tldr: I got a butt dial from my husband while he was out with "the guys", it was a female laughing with him flirtatiously, tell father in law who we live with when I'm a little buzzed, kiss him. Dying inside.

WrenP-Complete posted:

I [25 F] just kissed my father in law [~55 M]Infidelity
submitted 6 months ago by Iamhumantrash

My husband [25 M] and I moved to a new city, where his parents have lived for the past couple of years. We moved in with them 6 months ago to get on our feet.
Things have been tense with my husband since we moved. He got a job almost instantly (bartender) and I've been struggling to find office work. I work during the mornings, and he doesn't get home until around 3:30 AM each night, and he likes to stay up until 6 or so. We don't see each other as much as we used to because he has to pull double shifts since I don't work full time.

Tonight he had the night off, but instead wanted to go out with his co workers. He said it was a guy's night out, sports, beer, just hanging out at his co worker's house. Said he really wanted to foster his friendship with these people.

I was bummed but it's not like I was going to be controlling and said no, so off he went.

He's been out all night and hasn't called except once- a butt dial, with him clearly laughing with a female. It sounded flirtatious.

I felt sick to my stomach and went to the kitchen for a glass of wine, and downed the entire glass in one gulp (VERY out of character for me and a stupid move).

My father in law had heard me searching around the kitchen for the corkscrew and saw me right when I downed the glass. He asked if I was alright, and I told him about the phonecall.

He reassured me and said it was nothing, my husband would never cheat on me. I explained that I was feeling more distant from him every day, and I feel more insignificant than I ever have in my relationship with him. The wine hit me as we were talking and I got emotional, so he hugged me and I cried.

Then I kissed him. Nothing passionate, no tongue or anything like that. He reciprocated but I think it was more of a reaction than him actually kissing me back. I apologized instantly and he said it was alright, I was upset. He asked me if I wanted him to stay up with me and talk and I was so embarrassed that I said I was just going to go to bed. He touched my shoulder and said he'd be here if I needed him, and then went to his office instead of back to bed.

I don't know what my thought process was here. I've been developing a bit of a crush on my FIL, but only because my husband is working so much and my FIL always tries to reassure me, when my husband says things like "it's alright that you're not working as much, I'll just pick up the slack". It makes me feel awful.
But what the gently caress? Why the gently caress would I do this? Do I tell my husband? Did my father in law enjoy it? Is he just being supportive or was he trying to initiate more after he went back to his office?

I loving hate myself right now.

tldr: I got a butt dial from my husband while he was out with "the guys", it was a female laughing with him flirtatiously, tell father in law who we live with when I'm a little buzzed, kiss him. Dying inside.

quote:

My (25/F) boyfriend (25/M) of one year has been ignoring me for two solid days because I told him, he has never given me a vaginal orgasm.Relationships

First, I've experienced orgasm through penetration in the past, with other men, so it is possible for me. The thing is though, I'm fine without orgasming vaginally. In fact it requires a lot of time and effort, usually over an hour, and by that time I'm usually exhausted. With him, I've come very close to getting there, but he usually finishes before I do, and that's perfectly fine with me. Our foreplay has always been amazing, and he's more than capable of making me orgasm through that, but when it comes to vaginal penetration, it just doesn't happen. And it's not because he's inadequate. It just naturally takes a long time for me. Although I don't go out of my way to fake orgasms, I have gotten in the habit of doing that with him, but I still enjoy sex a lot. He's a dependable partner. Very considerate, and very knowledgeable of the female body.

That said, he had no idea that I've never orgasmed from penetration with him before. The subject came up when we were out with friends. One of our female friends said the guy she was seeing couldn't make her orgasm, and that she had been faking it every time for months. My boyfriend found that to be crazy, and I guess it stuck with him after because when we were in bed together later on that night, he openly asked me if I've ever faked it. I told him I have, just when I know he's trying really hard, and exhausting himself. I don't do it to get the sex over with. I do it because (and this is no bullshit) moaning and pushing myself to that point mentally, actually feels good physically, too. Even though I don't physically orgasm, I still feel satisfied in the end. It's hard to describe.

Needless to say he was very hurt. Admittedly, I should have communicated this to him sooner, without him having to ask me. In trying not to hurt him, I ended up hurting him anyway.

We live separately at the moment as we've only been together a year, and he hasn't been replying to my calls or texts for two days now. I want to talk about this. I want to reassure him that he's a great partner, but I feel I've hurt him too deeply. Biologically, some women just take longer to orgasm through sex, or they don't orgasm at all, which he's fully aware of. I said as much when I felt he was hurt the other night. But I think he feels more betrayed than anything else, as if I've kept a massive secret from him, which I quite literally have. Again, I don't fake it all the time. Maybe like 50%. Only when I can tell he's exhausting himself to no end.

What can I say or do to mend the situation? I don't want him to feel inadequate. He does everything correctly. I just can't orgasm like that without immense effort. He knows this now, but he's still ignoring me. He can be quite prideful, so he's likely just embarrassed right now. I don't think he's ghosting me permanently, and I don't think he's off cheating on me to satisfy his ego. He's not that kind of person.

tl;dr We were talking about orgasms in bed one night and he point blank asked me if I fake it with him, to which I answered honestly. I said it kindly, and I explained that it just doesn't happen easily or at all for some women, but he was still very hurt. He's a great partner. He does everything correctly, to my liking, it just doesn't happen for me when we have sex. I should have told him sooner. I shouldn't have been faking it, but I only do that when I can tell he's exhausting himself trying to get me off. He's likely very hurt right now, and he's been dodging me for two days. What can I do to mend the situation?

Leon Einstein posted:

She's trying so hard to frame it as if it's his fault. He never said his coworkers were all guys, and what did she actually hear? How does one describe flirting without giving an example of what was said? A woman laughing equals flirting?

WampaLord posted:

I like how she blames the instant onset of one glass of wine.

Tolkien minority posted:

this is exactly what happened in the update

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3vghs9/update_my_girlfriend_24_f_wanted_another_pet_and/

Leon Einstein posted:

But she drank it in one gulp which is VERY out of character.

Tolkien minority posted:

this is exactly what happened in the update

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3vghs9/update_my_girlfriend_24_f_wanted_another_pet_and/

zakharov posted:

They're both partially at fault here for a non relationship and would be better off with other people. This is for the best. Case dismissed. *bangs gavel*

Ouhei posted:

Eh, even from his writing (especially with the update) he's way more at fault here. He views her passion as childish and does nothing to support her in something that is clearly a massive part of who she is. That he doesn't go to any of her events and couldn't even bother to show up when she got an award for her work is pretty loving lovely. It's fine if he doesn't want to date someone who's life centers around helping animals, but he was being a dick about it.

I loved her "uh, sure...do you have any suggestions on charities?" comeback to his sniping at her only helping animals.

WrenP-Complete posted:

In case people don't want to navigate to reddit, here's what the update says:

quote:

I love dogs too but her deep love of animals is something I looked over because she always had good jobs and she is very pretty.

Gaunab posted:

Charles Get-Out posted:

Dude's a dick. Then again I'm one of those people who sees animal care as a worthy pursuit so maybe I'm just "childish" like he says.

It was kind of good of him that even though he's a stubborn poop he tried to make a peace offering, but they are better off broken up.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Dude's a dick. Then again I'm one of those people who sees animal care as a worthy pursuit so maybe I'm just "childish" like he says.

It was kind of good of him that even though he's a stubborn poop he tried to make a peace offering, but they are better off broken up.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't think it is worthy to spend, say, the 17th-20th hours of each day on animal care. That crosses a line from passion into mania, to me.

WrenP-Complete posted:

He does not seem like a reliable narrator to me.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Dude's a dick. Then again I'm one of those people who sees animal care as a worthy pursuit so maybe I'm just "childish" like he says.

It was kind of good of him that even though he's a stubborn poop he tried to make a peace offering, but they are better off broken up.

quote:

I just wish she directed that passion to things that really, really matter. Helping animals is nice and all but it's not really changing the world.

I told her that I thought she should give money to homeless children too and she said, "um, sure.. Do you know any organizations I could help with?" But I didn't have any suggestions and I was already angry and felt like she was giving me a slap to my face.

quote:

That, and I think her passion for animals is childish. Sort of in the way that kids love fairies or mermaids.

Mirthless posted:

Yeah I'm betting she probably spends an hour a day at a vet's office doing volunteer stuff and a few hours on saturday and sunday. The guy seems way, way more mad about animals being in his house than he does about the amount of time she has to spend with him, too.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Uh I have absolutely known plenty of people who work 80 hour weeks, she'd probably drop if she was sleeping three hours every single day but that's not improbable as a regular occurrence
lol gently caress this guy entirely, comprehensively

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Obviously she should be dating someone who is similarly passionate so they can enjoy that stuff together.

WrenP-Complete posted:

No, I am not jealous of lizards.

WampaLord posted:

The only real takeaway. She needs to find a dude who also loves animals and they'll be very happy.

Gerblyn posted:

If you actually take him at his word, then the main driver of this is resentment and jealousy that his GF spends more time with her passion for animals than she does with him. After 5 years of relationship with her, it sounds like these feelings have boiled over to the point where he's just started lashing out both openly (You won't bring another pet into this house!) and in more subtle ways (I won't validate your work by coming to your awards ceremony). I'm not saying he's not acting like a dick, because he certainly is, but it does sound like the relationship is over mainly because his GF has chosen her passion for animals over him.

quote:

My good buddy, we'll call him John, has been a good friend of mine for about 4 years now. We hang out at least once a week, we play cards, video games, watch movies etc... His girlfriend is a nice enough person but she has something, not really sure what. But it is a mental issue and she has "episodes". She never comes out and I've only met her twice.
We have a pretty active social media circle of friends on facebook and Overwatch/WoW.
Well what happened was, we got drunk and he told me that he lets his gf read our chats, on social media and texts and everything. That he usually records our calls with some app and lets her listen to them. He told me that they make fun of us together. Now this is the part where I might be overreacting, I told him that that's pretty hosed up and that if that's true then I wont be contacting him anymore.
He decided to double down and told me that his gf hates me and thinks I'm weird, that half the time he just gives her his phone and reads my messages out loud while he dictates a response. Now I'm sure you all know how 2 guys that have been friends with so long text each other; we have made up words and phrases that don't make sense. But I have also texted him some pretty personal stuff.
We didn't talk much after that night and I went home. The next morning I kicked him out of our chats and have not made an attempt to contact him. All the people in the chats don't really know why I kicked him, I told them that I have a good reason. I'm pretty sure he's telling them his side of the story where I'm blowing things way out of proportion and is probably not mentioning that he lets his girlfriend read everything.
What do you guys think? That's pretty hosed up right? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
TL;DR Friend's girlfriend reads our conversations and listens to our calls so I kicked him out of our chats and have not contacted him

Gerblyn posted:

If you actually take him at his word, then the main driver of this is resentment and jealousy that his GF spends more time with her passion for animals than she does with him. After 5 years of relationship with her, it sounds like these feelings have boiled over to the point where he's just started lashing out both openly (You won't being another pet into this house!) and in more subtle ways (I won't validate your work by coming to your awards ceremony). I'm not saying he's not acting like a dick, because he certainly is, but it does sound like the relationship is over mainly because his GF has chosen her passion for animals over him.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Like, if I were that guy, I would have used my patented Jeffrey Of YOSPOS Communication Skills to talk to her without contempt and maybe gotten her to understand my position instead of snapping, demeaning her passions and lifestyle completely. Additionally as a Charitable Dude I would have had good charities in mind during the Cheap Gibe™ phase of the conversation.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

it sounds like in his own self-serving words he's a passionless blob of a person who doesn't authentically care about anything at all except himself who leeches off his workaholic overachiever girlfriend, can't be bothered to do poo poo like show up to important personal events, and belittles people who are in every regard his superior as "childish" for merely doing more than he ever will

Could she spend less time on animals and more on a partner? Sure, if she gets one who gives anything at all back and got more personality than that tree frog.

quote:

Wife (35F) disappeared for an hour at a get together at our home with a friend (43m) of mine (35M), sister (33F) saw them leaving one of the spare bedrooms and fixing their clothes, wife admitted she cheated and I don't know where to go from here

There was a get together at our (my wife and I) home on Saturday evening for some friends, coworkers and a few family members who could make it. There was a decent amount of alcohol flowing and about 25+ people present.

Between 6 and maybe 7:30 I didn't see my wife and figured she was having a nap or something since she mentioned being a bit tired and that she might disappear for a while, no problem right? A friend of mine also disappeared for about 40 minutes, I wasn't really bothered because he could have disappeared to the bathroom or something. Everyone started leaving around 8 and my wife went to bed. My sister told me that earlier when she went to make a call to her husband to check in on him and say goodnight to my nephews (she's visiting for a little while), she saw my friend leaving one of the spare bedrooms. Not five minutes later my wife stepped out and rushed upstairs, she passed my sister saying she was feeling a bit ill and needed to tidy up.

I got pretty pissed and confronted my wife that same night not two hours after the party and she broke down crying and admitted they had sex in the bedroom. She started telling me everything, that she was introduced to my friend about 8 months ago and since then they'd always chatted and he was quite charming and flirty and before she knew it they were being inappropriate over text messages. She says that it was a spur of the moment thing when she asked him to see if he could meet her in the bedroom, that it was the stupidest thing she's ever done and she wishes she could take it all back.

I asked her to see her FB and text messages which is something I have never done since I trusted my wife and any messages that might have been there to my 'friend' were deleted. We've been together for 14 years and married for 9. We had sex regularly and communicated well, we always worked through any problems that came up, there was nothing wrong that I could think of and I have no clue whether I want to just haul rear end away from this marriage since we have no children or try and work things out.

She's been nothing but apologetic and crying her eyes out hoping I won't ask for a divorce but what the gently caress? She hosed another man in our home while I was outside with the rest of our friends. Part of me is going crazy wondering if she's ever hosed anyone else while we were together and I can't help but think she's just sorry she got found out and that if she had never been seen by my sister she might have been making plans to sleep with my friend again.

TL;DR Wife cheated with friend in our home while there was a little get together, she admitted to cheating when confronted, not sure if it's easier to get divorced or try and work things out since I would like to believe this is the first and hopefully only time

Ouhei posted:

She invited him to the events she held, I assume probably asked if he wanted to help plan them and invited him to go with her to the dog park or for on hikes with her pets. I imagine all of this took course over the 5 years they were together and she probably stopped trying to involve him after a while because it was a futile effort. She tried to get him involved with what is clearly her life's work and he didn't do it because he doesn't respect what she does. Yeah, she effectively chose animals over him, but it was the right choice because he blows.