Jonas Albrecht posted:

I want a shirt that says "Smug,".

Pigman posted:

Having finally realized that nothing short of Armageddon will stop Captain Cheeto setting up residence in the White House, Hollywood’s liberals have decided to stage one final, desperate protest by killing themselves in droves. Precisely what this is supposed to achieve is difficult to say, but i for one warmly and wholeheartedly welcome this new bout of liberal petulance.

Lady Gaga, the fascist pop singer who spent months encouraging delegates to stage a soft coup against the president-elect, plans to kill herself by combining four of her most famous attention-getting devices – she will strip naked, then cover herself in meat and walk into a giant meat grinder while singing about being a rape victim with PTSD.

Liberal icon Michael Moore has chosen a less painful, but equally effective way to go…

“I plan to inhale while standing next to a Mexican,” he told our correspondent. When asked if this was not a dreadfully racist thing to say, Moore responded, “Hey, like most liberals i love their cheap labor, but don’t get me started on their hygiene standards. Every time my housekeeper comes over i have wear a gas mask for the rest of the day!”

Actor, comedian, and all-around jerk Alec Baldwin released a statement today in which he claimed, “Nothing could be worse than living in a world ruled by that little pig Donald Trump, so i plan to commit suicide by walking into a meeting of the Black Panthers and shouting, “You niggers can all suck my white dick – just like yo mommas did!” No word on whether or not the rest of the SNL cast will be joining him.

Bruce Springsteen, a rocker once known for singing about working class woes but these days best remembered for kissing Hillary Clinton’s rear end, has promised to shuffle off this mortal coil by going down to a dry river bed, drenching himself in kerosene and setting himself alight. When asked why he chose kerosene over more easily available accelerants such as petrol, Springsteen told us that he deliberately chose a slow-burning fuel so that he would have enough time to sing at least one verse of “I’m On Fire.”

Lena Dunham – a flaccid, butterfaced, butterbodied nothing of a woman who reneged on her promise to rid the U.S of her presence if Trump won – has decided to go out in the same narcissistic, self-obsessed manner in which she lived. After whining lugubriously that she refuses to live in a world ruled by someone who actually married and had a kid with “a loving foreign whore,” Dunham told our correspondent that she will kill herself by sitting in front of a mirror and gazing steadily at her own hideous visage for thirty minutes, after which time it is expected that she will drop dead from the sheer horror of the experience. In an interesting side note, the mirror in question is a one-off made from polished titanium, regular glass mirrors being unable to withstand Dunham’s smug mug for more than five seconds.

Famous singer, withered old cadaver, and largely unwanted mother Madonna has announced that she will take herself out by finally delivering on her infamous promise to blow everyone who voted for Hillary Clinton. The event, to be held in a swimming pool and broadcast live on CNN, will feature Ms Ciccone blowing all 30 million men who voted for Clinton, and will end with 30 million simultaneous cum shots. Yes, Madonna plans to die as she lived – drowning in semen!

But Hollywood liberals aren’t the only ones seizing the day. It is expected that millions of pinheaded celebrity worshippers will be eager to follow in their idols’ footsteps and so, always looking to make a quick shekel, Starbucks has gotten in on the act by offering cyanide-filled lattes come the 20th of January. In a one time only offer, all lattes will include a “Trump Can Kiss My Dead rear end” t-shirt, and a bumper sticker reading, “How you like me now, Republican bitches?” All this for the low, low price of $750.

And the entire New York chapter of the ACLU is planning to behead themselves with scythes, in honor of their oppressed Muslim friends in ISIS. This one seems a bit tricky to me. The average liberal can barely even operate a spoon properly, how these guys will manage to commit suicide in such an awkward way is a mystery – perhaps they can fly in some ISIS members to help them. Wait, did i say ISIS members? Sorry, i meant to say Syrian refugees.

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Lord Hydronium posted:

I wonder how Kelly feels about vaping.

JaggerMcDagger posted:

Xander77 posted:

If there's one strategy that historically worked well for leftists fighting fascism, it's street fights. Definitely a proven winner.

JaggerMcDagger posted:

Listen, if you guys want to have really stupid poo poo in this thread, you're going to have to do better than an argument about punching nazis.

BEHOLD

Axetrain posted:

Yes.

loquacius posted:

so is Pigman just a Trumpist now or what

Axetrain posted:

Yes.



Kill all Nazis you fuckman.

Xander77 posted:

So, an alliance with the Nazis is the order of the day?

Emasculator posted:

ah yes, thank goodness uncontroversial leftist hero joseph stalin swept into nazi germany and put an end to all injustice there.

Xander77 posted:

alliance

Pigman posted:

always looking to make a quick shekel

ThaumPenguin posted:

I'm probably being pedantic here, but non-aggression pacts aren't alliances.

Axetrain posted:

Haha, get a load of this jackass.

BgRdMchne posted:

Axetrain posted:

Hey guys I think using violence against fascists is bad because it would be controversial.

Potato Salad posted:

Alternatively, know the righteousness of the cause to address climate change and ensure marriage and reproductive human rights and stomp the gently caress out of backwards fuckwits in your path.

Discendo Vox posted:

Given Bors' relentless equivocation between the parties, this isn't too much of a surprise.

BgRdMchne posted:

BgRdMchne posted:

loquacius posted:

This is both a really weird read on Bors and a really weird read on this cartoon

FicusArt posted:

D.N. Nation posted:

I generally love Bors, but he runs in the same circles as shitheads like Freddie DeBoer and, of course, Todd Rool – preening aesthetic "leftists" who never miss an opportunity to hot take against the milquetoast tut-tutting center-liberals in their head. HA HA YOU WIMPS ARE DEFENDING THE NAZI; I mean, the majority of the mainstream liberals I know laughed their asses off at it, but y'all do you guys.

Improbable Lobster posted:

BgRdMchne posted:

loquacius posted:

how exactly are you seeing factional salt in this cartoon

Bors is expressing the same viewpoint multiple people in this thread have been expressing for pages upon pages -- fascism is the ultimate evil, opposing it even via violence is a morally good act, and objections to that violence ignore historical precedent and grossly equivocate. It's pretty straightforwardly a philosophical assertion, not an assignment of blame to your faction. Put plainly, I think you're reading this implication in and it comes off as a little defensive.

Tei posted:

I think is a good cartoon, better than the average cartoon by many miles, but is basically a strawman argument. Theres other reasons to defend nazis from violence. These other arguments to defend nazis are also wrong, but they are better sounding that the ones Bors put in this cartoon. Anyway, Bors, I applaud your work, and this is a really good cartoon in the universe of cartoon and for what cartoons exists.

The Ape of Naples posted:

Obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCb2Le3wtIk

Discendo Vox posted:

Given Bors' relentless equivocation between the parties, this isn't too much of a surprise.

Tatum Girlparts posted:

what?

Evilreaver posted:

They're not wrong, they're alternative-right

Emasculator posted:

Yeah, those millions of backwards fuckwits, none of whom were ethnically cleansed, nosiree.

Mr. Squishy posted:

As for him being unclear, it's a habit. I have no idea what this one's about

Potato Salad posted:

I like the "hey plenty of non-Jewish whites died in the Holocaust too" fact pointed out here as though it defends resurgent nationalism.