Winter Transfer Thread - Nice Meltdown - The Something Awful Forums

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what will happen in the winter transfer window
	joey barton will do a thing
	big sam will do a thing
	arsenal fans will meltdown
	manchester united fans will meltdown
	both sets of fans will melt down
	gay for pay 3rd party ownership
	Tons of Liverpool fanfiction

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TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

Healbot posted:

We can bold it this time and not receive a suspension. Done Deal

Indeed.

https://twitter.com/Everton/status/823561136293511171

# ? Jan 23, 2017 21:41

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# ? May 10, 2024 19:32

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

newcastle are after modou barrow for some reason

# ? Jan 23, 2017 22:06

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

Maybe it's because of one of his bank jobs? Little film buff humour for you there

# ? Jan 23, 2017 22:35

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Jose posted:

newcastle are after modou barrow for some reason

He's poo poo.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 10:41

eleven extra elephants: Feb 16, 2007; Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

lescott has joined Sunderland. What an admission of defeat

# ? Jan 24, 2017 15:05

Meat Wagon: Jul 14, 2004

eleven extra elephants posted:

lescott has joined Sunderland. What an admission of defeat

Here's a photo of him holding up the shirt:

# ? Jan 24, 2017 15:16

Pat Mustard: Mar 9, 2013

sassassin posted:

He's poo poo.

He's really fast so that makes him diarrhoea.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 15:31

Thirteenth Step: Mar 3, 2004

Meat Wagon posted:

Here's a photo of him holding up the shirt:

lol

# ? Jan 24, 2017 15:33

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Pat Mustard posted:

He's really fast so that makes him diarrhoea.

He can barely dribble.

Supposedly he announced in training the other week that he didn't care if we went down so one of the "long-standing players" took a swing at him. Played in the last round of the checkatrade trophy and was complete poo poo until he got hauled off "injured" after 15 minutes.

His replacement (local boy Owain Jones) looked twice the player, and has all season.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 15:47

Frankston: Jul 27, 2010

Congratulations on your relegation Sunderland.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 16:18

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

sassassin posted:

(local boy Owain Jones)

And does he?

# ? Jan 24, 2017 16:22

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

eleven extra elephants posted:

lescott has joined Sunderland. What an admission of defeat

I didn't even remember that he had gone to Greece, he apparently only played 4 times for AEK before exploding his knee cartilage

# ? Jan 24, 2017 16:42

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

So you're saying he's a Greek myth haha

# ? Jan 24, 2017 17:00

Frankston: Jul 27, 2010

James Bree, Conor Hourihane & Bikir Bjarnason will be signing for Villa tomorrow according to a very reliable ITK.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 18:23

Blasmeister: Jan 15, 2012; 2Time TRP Sack Race Champion

https://twitter.com/LCFC/status/823942751213469696

That one didn't last long, but he was only a free transfer . Hope we sign some more central defensive cover for Huth/Morgan, we seem super shallow there now.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 18:42

straight up brolic: Jan 31, 2007; After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

Frankston posted:

James Bree, Conor Hourihane & Bikir Bjarnason will be signing for Villa tomorrow according to a very reliable ITK.

Bjarnason is cool

# ? Jan 24, 2017 18:51

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

Blasmeister posted:

https://twitter.com/LCFC/status/823942751213469696

That one didn't last long, but he was only a free transfer . Hope we sign some more central defensive cover for Huth/Morgan, we seem super shallow there now.

Seems strange to breathlessly announce someone leaving the club but then I'm a Wednesday fan.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 19:54

eleven extra elephants: Feb 16, 2007; Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

pik_d posted:

I didn't even remember that he had gone to Greece, he apparently only played 4 times for AEK before exploding his knee cartilage

I thought he was still at Villa, file him under the likes of Remy being at Palace in terms of forgettable footballers.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 19:57

Lenin Riefenstahl: Sep 18, 2003; That's enough! Out of here, you tubs of beer!

Meat Wagon posted:

Here's a photo of him holding up the shirt:

# ? Jan 24, 2017 20:08

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jan/24/ousmane-dembele-rennes-borussia-dortmund-agents-release-clause

quote:

It was billed as the dream transfer of one of Europe�s most promising players, yet the details surrounding Ousmane Demb�l�s transfer from French side Rennes to Borussia Dortmund last May has shone some intriguing light on how a multi-million euro industry functions behind the scenes. Featuring warring representatives and a club who have denied exerting pressure on a teenager to turn his back on his long-time advisers, the case has already come before the French Football Federation but remains unsettled, with Demb�l� now likely to be called to give evidence in court over a dispute that could be worth up to �3m (�2.6m) in damages.

Featured in Tuesday�s edition of L��quipe, the story has also been tracked by the Guardian over the past few months, although it began in 2011, when Badou Sambagu�, a former Mali international who grew up in the same block of flats as Demb�l� in the Normandy town of �vreux before becoming a lawyer, first took Demb�l� to train with the Ligue 1 club Rennes.

Having impressed in the youth ranks, the skilful teenager was hoping to win a call-up to the first team by manager Philippe Montanier, who later joined Nottingham Forest, but found his opportunities limited. Demb�l� was then offered the chance to join his boyhood friend Dayot Upamecano at the Austrian side Red Bull Salzburg, while also receiving interest from Manchester City among others. Thus, Sambagu� and his associate, registered French agent Martial Kodjia, asked if Demb�l� could break his youth-team contract at Rennes only to have their request angrily refused by the club. After much negotiation, Demb�l� eventually agreed to accept his first professional contract in September 2015 but only if it included a release clause of �5m. According to L��quipe, rather than at the club�s headquarters, the deal was signed in a hotel room at the Hotel Balthazar in Rennes because, in Sambagu�s view, he was no longer welcome at the club.

It was against this background that the then 18-year-old embarked on his first season as a professional. In November that year he scored his first senior goal in a 2-2 draw against Bordeaux and followed it up with another just before Christmas in a victory over Guingamp. His performances did not go unnoticed, with Barcelona, Manchester United, Liverpool, Bayern Munich and Arsenal among the clubs to make contact with Sambagu� over Christmas. Borussia Dortmund also made their interest known and opened talks with the French club. �It was at this point that Rennes did everything they could to create a war,� he told the Guardian this week.

Fearing that they could lose their prized asset for just a fraction of his value, Rennes attempted to act. Through Moussa Sissoko, a French agent registered in Mali who also represented two of their other young stars, Sambagu� alleges they sought to persuade Demb�l� to sign a new contract not containing a release clause and to terminate the relationship between him and Kodjia.

�On 24 February 2016,� wrote L��quipe, �he sent the following message to relatives: �If I do not go through Moussa Sissoko and Marco Lichtsteiner, they will stop the transfer.�� The brother of Juventus defender Stephan, Lichtsteiner is known as an influential agent in Germany who regularly collaborates with Sissoko.

Two days later, Kodjia was sent a letter signed by Demb�l� which cancelled the agreement from September. According to Sambagu�, this was a result of the undue pressure that had been placed upon the teenager. �Ousmane was very afraid. I tried to convince him not to give in and to stay strong,� he said. Sissoko told the Guardian that the allegations were �completely false�. �His old agent is telling stories,� he said. �I think that if Ousmane left his historical advisers, it was because he thought they were not good enough to manage his career,� Sissoko added to L��quipe. �Each has its limits, and one must know how to recognise them.�

L��quipe also alleges that Rennes had offered to pay Demb�l� �5m � the value of his release clause � if he agreed to sign a new contract with the club and even to represent him in his future career, a practice that would be illegal under current Fifa rules. Rennes have denied this was the case and in a statement to the Guardian said it was a matter for the two agents in dispute. �The club has no direct involvement in this matter and wishes to remain neutral and impartial,� said the statement.

Despite apparently severing ties with Sambagu� and Kodjia, Demb�l� stayed in touch with his former advisers and met with J�rgen Klopp, the Liverpool manager, at the end of March. Manchester United also showed an interest in taking the player who had become the youngest in the history of Ligue 1 to reach 10 goals in a season � quicker than both Thierry Henry and Anthony Martial - although by that time his future destination already seemed determined. In June 2007, the Rennes� owner, Fran�ois-Henri Pinault, purchased a controlling stake in German sportswear manufacturer Puma, who also happen to be one of Dortmund�s main sponsors having bought shares in the club in 2014. There is no suggestion that Pinault�s influence resulted in Demb�l� moving to the German side, but Sambagu� believes that Rennes had �closed the door to all of the clubs except Dortmund, who were willing to pay more than the clause�.

Having seen an offer of �8m rejected, Dortmund eventually agreed a �15m fee. But there was to be one more hitch. When he arrived to formalise his transfer, Demb�l� was accompanied by Kodjia after signing a new mandate with him the night before, which was designed to reward his long-term advisers for their assistance. Initially, Dortmund refused to go through with the deal and it was only once Demb�l� had formalised his five-year contract with the club that Kodjia realised his name had been omitted from the paperwork.

On his return from Germany, Kodjia and Sambagu� contacted the FFF�s Commission F�d�rale des Agents to register a complaint against Sissoko and Rennes. They are seeking �3m in damages � the commission banked by Sissoko from the deal � and were offered almost half of that in November as a settlement. A further meeting is scheduled for next month, with Kodjia and Sambagu� also considering suing Demb�l�, who has refused to comment on the case, for breach of contract. The striker, now a full France international who has continued his meteoric rise on the pitch with four goals and seven assists for Dortmund this season, could also be called as the only witness in an attempt to unravel the truth in this very modern transfer tale.

# ? Jan 24, 2017 20:33

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Coutinho's signed a new 5 year deal with no buy-out clause, good stuff: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jan/25/philippe-coutinho-signs-new-long-term-liverpool-deal-no-buy-out-clause

# ? Jan 25, 2017 11:02

Bacon Terrorist: May 7, 2010; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

poo poo for the kid but completely unsurprising, unfortunately.

Edit: Dembele, not Coutinho, though we all know he will have to leave if he wants major honours :smug:

Bacon Terrorist fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Jan 25, 2017

# ? Jan 25, 2017 11:04

Frankston: Jul 27, 2010

James Bree to Aston Villa is a done deal

https://twitter.com/AVFCOfficial/status/824210224198189056

# ? Jan 25, 2017 12:31

Frankston: Jul 27, 2010

Birkir Bjarnason to Aston Villa is a done deal

https://twitter.com/AVFCOfficial/status/824241835849748482

# ? Jan 25, 2017 14:08

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Barnsley are getting wrecked this window. Top scorer to Wednesday, two players to Villa and apparently Norwich bidding for their centre back.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 15:11

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Palace have agreed a fee for Robbie Brady rip norwich

Hull are selling Snodgrass so thats them definitely relegated

Jose fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Jan 25, 2017

# ? Jan 25, 2017 15:36

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Brady is a good player but its not a massive loss as we've got a shitload of good attacking midfielders

# ? Jan 25, 2017 16:39

Sneaks McDevious: Jul 29, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Glad Brady is back in the prem

# ? Jan 25, 2017 16:54

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

All of the French and Italian sources are saying that Evra will have his medical with Marseille tomorrow.

Asamoah has been pretty good at left back since the new year, but he can't be trusted to stay healthy, so I hope Juve are bringing in another left back in this window too.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 17:57

Simone Poodoin: Jun 26, 2003; Che storia figata, ragazzo!

I don't really want Evra to go. Hernanes to Genoa can't come soon enough though.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 18:29

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Simone Poodoin posted:

I don't really want Evra to go. Hernanes to Genoa can't come soon enough though.

Genoa just signed Hiljemark from Palermo, so I wonder if that will put an end to the Hernanes rumors. I think we might be stuck with him.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 18:42

MrBling: Aug 21, 2003; Oozing machismo

I seem to have completely missed this giant transfer that Spurs made some days ago.

https://twitter.com/ESPNUK/status/821383916430958595

# ? Jan 25, 2017 18:51

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

trem_two posted:

Genoa just signed Hiljemark from Palermo, so I wonder if that will put an end to the Hernanes rumors. I think we might be stuck with him.

Supposedly Galatasaray have an offer in for him too, so not all hope is lost.

If he wasn't earning such a huge wage I'd like him at Milan just to keep Montolivo out of the squad when he's fit again.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:01

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Gigi Galli posted:

Supposedly Galatasaray have an offer in for him too, so not all hope is lost.

If he wasn't earning such a huge wage I'd like him at Milan just to keep Montolivo out of the squad when he's fit again.

you don't mean this

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:04

MrBling: Aug 21, 2003; Oozing machismo

Apparently AC Milan are in talks with Watford about selling M'baye Niang for about �16m.
I thought he was finally doing well at Milan, but I guess if you need the money then you need the money.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:05

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

MrBling posted:

Apparently AC Milan are in talks with Watford about selling M'baye Niang for about �16m.
I thought he was finally doing well at Milan, but I guess if you need the money then you need the money.

He was doing well for about a month then he missed 2 penalties in a row and started to not pass and shoot in to row z, he's also involved in a sex scandal with a transexual.

trem_two posted:

you don't mean this

I don't know, have you seen Montolivo play lately? I mean nobody has but him getting hurt was the best thing to happen to Milan all season.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:10

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

Gon�alo Guedes from Benfica to PSG for around �25m. And apparently Liverpool want William Carvalho from Sporting now in January.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:25

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Gigi Galli posted:

He was doing well for about a month then he missed 2 penalties in a row and started to not pass and shoot in to row z, he's also involved in a sex scandal with a transexual.

following in ronaldo's footsteps

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:37

UnlimitedSpessmans: Jul 31, 2015

boro and burnley have had bids accepted for big snoddy grassy.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:40

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# ? May 10, 2024 19:32

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Patrice Evra looks close to signing with OM but it's not official. It's a good move for them because even a 35-year-old slow Evra is an upgrade on Henri Bedimo who is the only natural left-back they have at the moment.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 19:43

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