That DICK! posted:

I want a Marvel Civil War retelling where a tragedy at a school in Connecticut sparks reasoned people to discuss whether maybe we should do a background check and registration for the man who can turn into a nuclear bomb or the insane woman who can alter reality but the effort is blocked by dumb rednecks who are convinced that someday they too will be able to summon an army of squirrels at will

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

DEAR GIRLFRIEND

The MSJ posted:

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

i bet it was really someone's big ole donger. some guy on the plane had to buy another seat in which to sling his truly gargantuan and yet somehow tenderly beautiful meat monster and the captain radioed down to the tarmac "houston we have the biggest drat darn ding donger i ever did see were gonna need to burn some fuel so we can get this elegant creature there iykwim"

Streak posted:

if i hate women so much, why do i keep trying to have sex with them?????

Moon Atari posted:

Because you want to make them suffer?

LethalGeek posted:

And then everyone dog piles on him for wanting to buy video games. What a sub forum

Crocoswine posted:

laffo don't defend that dweeb

Taciturn Tactician posted:

I think it's mildly concerning that in that post, what people thought was worth mocking was wanting to buy a Switch, rather than the insane relationship.

Improbable Lobster posted:

I think that budgeting to afford a Switch is fine but ~blacklisting~ your girlfriend because she doesn't care about it is super childish.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I think his girlfriend regularly responding to things like "How's your day going?" with "Gay." is more childish.

e: like his girlfriend is either a highschool student or a gbs poster

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I think his girlfriend regularly responding to things like "How's your day going?" with "Gay." is more childish.

e: like his girlfriend is either a highschool student or a gbs poster

Gringostar posted:

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a nazi. It's walking toward you, you reach out and punch the nazi in his face.

The nazi lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to commit genocide. But it can't. Not with you punching him.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

Ah the old Voight-Mein Kampf test.

Grandmother of Five posted:

Search results specific to the E/N On-line Dating thread

First date: 223
Second date: 92
DOTA: 55
Third date: 39

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I think his girlfriend regularly responding to things like "How's your day going?" with "Gay." is more childish.

e: like his girlfriend is either a highschool student or a gbs poster

RyokoTK posted:

nintendo gay, so what

Troposphere posted:

you should love sex, but only if you're having it with me, the greasy pony tail guy

Improbable Lobster posted:

I think that budgeting to afford a Switch is fine but ~blacklisting~ your girlfriend because she doesn't care about it is super childish.

Das Boo posted:

ephebophilia

ADTRW: 4
GBS: 7
Games: 27
DnD: 33

Field Mousepad posted:

Or maybe he was joking with his girlfriend and goons are doing the stupid fuckin goon poo poo they usually do.

Wiggles Von Huggins posted:

Outbreak 2: The Plunge
A dangerous sexually transmitted virus threatens civilization after it goes airborne in this tense thriller. After a foreigner named Haier carrying a lethal virus is deported, an outbreak occurs in a Canadian town. To control the spread of the disease, a team of doctors is brought in that includes a TCM expert (Dustin Hoffman) and his ex-wife (Rene Russo). Once the Army intervenes to handle the situation, though, the doctors must fight against the clock to save face.
Release date: March 10, 2017 (USA)

Haier posted:

The reality is more like:

Patient ZERO - Martyr for Peace
A dangerous sexually transmitted virus threatens civilization after it goes airborne in this tense thriller. After a foreigner named Haier carrying a lethal virus is deported after infecting tens of women before a major holiday, causing spread of the virus across all of China, he takes an airplane to India. While in India, he takes a train between major cities in India. Due to air pollution in India being worse than China, he begins sneezing everywhere. Both China and India become infected and two billion people die, along with the West Coast of Canada, all of the UAE, parts of Korea and Japan (usually just the Uniqlos), London, all of Thailand, and the Desi parts of Chicago.

Will be hailed as the savior of the human race for taking down the biggest polluters? Find out in this exciting action-adventure!
Rated R for nudity, language, and abundance of fecal matter.
Release date: November 11, 2017.

DoctorWhat posted:

(For context, we threaten to call each other "gay" over every little thing)

Crocoswine posted:

did you read the thread

TheScott2K posted:

Hold her purse for her once in a while if she needs you to for God's sake. It's not like some leprechaun is going to suddenly appear and call you a human being

Grandmother of Five posted:

Search results specific to the E/N On-line Dating thread

First date: 223
Second date: 92
DOTA: 55
Third date: 39

HJB posted:

Pet Island:

Rescued: 494
Killed: 556

bradzilla posted:

ok

hth
GBS: 1000+
D&D: 938
E/N: 202
QCS: 59

ftfy
GBS: 575
D&D: 1000+
E/N: 514
QCS: 1000+

Triticum Guzzler posted:

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/404689120506949632

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

your mum's anus is so insatiably hungry for monster cock, average-sized men call it the Judging Eye

Strom Cuzewon posted:

Your mum's so filthy, Cnaiur thought he was loving a hole in the ground.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

your mum’s holes are so nasty, her favourite dildo was repurposed as a terrifying weapon, the Heron Spear

General Battuta posted:

I was pacing the halls of Atrithau contemplating the knowledge of pure meaning when my senses were assaulted by a hideous Mark. Whirling I saw a velour-robed Schoolman. Impossible! As I summoned my wards the man said, "Yo momma made a pit of her womb so deep they call her Mom-Uirokas." Desperately I focused on the simple truth of the geometric point. But the sorcerer's chapped lips chuckled "Yo momma so stupid she thinks skin-spy can cover up her herpes" and I was confronted with the knowledge that my disgrace was anticipated in ancient counsels where men's honor was bound to the grace of their mothers. My world pitched as the nimil-chained wizard cried "Aurang left yo momma's house so ashamed and hosed up he ran up to me saying, 'who am I? what do you see??'" And I wept as I accepted the busting of my soul.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

rumour has it that the most fearless Mandate scholars face one final Dream of Seswatha that none have ever experienced without succumbing to madness and clawing out their own eyes in their sleep; the very night you were conceived

General Battuta posted:

Deep within the halls of Ishual I oversaw the birth of the latest Candidate. From the scents and issues of the pregnancy I had determined the sex of the boy. But when the child slid from the whale-mother it was at a time unanticipated by the evidence, and beneath the natal filth he wore a robe of thick cloth. Improbably, the child spoke. "Look here," he burbled, "buncha nerds so cloistered they think a clitoris is a property of the soul's will to become self-moving. Hey! You! You spend twenty years studying how passions move peeled-up faces?" And I saw in his bloodied face the words 'and yo cock so little they call you the Death of Girth.' I fell into the Probability Trance to explore the causal origins of this event, but everywhere I turned I saw a man with nimil-jeweled teeth hooting "They say an Anasurimbor will come at the end of the world, so I guess the Second Apocalypse goes down after three pumps". And I felt the Absolute escape me forever.

Someone in FYAD, Lyle? posted:

my ideal woman is a parasiti c jew vampire who like the oligarchs i work in perpetual wage serfdom for will suck my worthless monopoly capital and lifesblood from me in exchange for her boring, emotionally dead WASP body, as our youths fade and our various sacks,limbs, extremities, and other assorited body chunks congeal and harden into callous, or sag and rot away as is their own particular wont, while we spent our "free" or "pleasure" time in mute dumb silence like cows gazing at whatever gay spectacle of Corn appears before us

Someone in FYAD, Manyak? posted:

Hey all, Matt here. My sobriety date is never. To sum things up I am simply an alcoholic, addict piece of crap. I struggle to feed, dress, and bath myself. I sometimes brush my teeth once a week if that, because I see no point. I am alone. I always have been. I some times free myself from the void via exotic designer drugs. I have been to diffrent dimensions -- I have seen the entitys that inhabit them. I've had dialogues with trees and I know it was real.
I began my drug career in 2nd grade when my friend Clem insisted we smoke weed while riding our bikes to school. From there I started doing coke and other hard drugs, Im pretty sure tghat by 10th grade I had alreadt been on the DMT voyage,. I struggle to get out of bed and facing the day ahead of me makes me want to die. Taking the bread out of a bag, puitting meat & lettuce on it, and some condiments like mayo, mustard etc feels like it takes an eternity so I usually find myself starving while I glue myself to my TV, its way to late into the next day already so I go to Taco Bell before it closes. My desk is marely but a surface on which I cut/grind whatever Pills I have available into a snortable powder.
All this leads me to this trouble Ive been expereiencing with my network card -- I am unable to find the drivers for it. If any goons could lend some experience, I am all ears. Thanks.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/404689120506949632

haveblue posted:

Wasn't it discovered not too long ago that dwarves had been only a couple of inches tall for years and nobody noticed because it didn't break anything?

Who What Now posted:

That seems fully intended to me.

Zore posted:

Only Dwarves/animals born in a fort. They didn't properly grow after birth so they were infant sized forever. There were a few knock on effects but most people don't have a ton of dwarfs actually grow up while playing a fort so it wasn't really noticed.

Tunicate posted:

Because size is subjective, the only way they were able to analyze it was by tracking each dwarf's total blood volume.

Dr Pepper posted:

And somebody bothered to do this?

ImpAtom posted:

"And somebody bothered to do this" is Dwarffortress.txt

VanSandman posted:

I do recall at one point it was possible to make Dwarfs immune to fire by setting them on fire then extinguishing them once all their fat was burned off, because only fat burned properly.

Angry Diplomat posted:

If I recall correctly, a goon accidentally did this by managing to rescue a magma-charred dwarf miner via a legendary doctor with adamantine bandages, and was surprised when she hopped out of bed around a year later. There was a screenshot of her wounds screen that showed how absolutely every part of her had burned away except her bones (which were now completely wrapped in adamantine bandages). The guy put her in adamantine armour and sent her off to join the military; apparently she was literally impervious to all forms of injury because she didn't bleed or feel pain and had no flesh to injure, and she was wearing so many insulating and deflecting layers of adamantine that nothing could deliver sufficient force to crack her shambling, mummified bones.

e: I think I remember the poster saying that being Anakin Skywalker'd in a molten inferno had only given her a moderate unhappy thought and she was perfectly happy in her new career as an invincible skeletal hell knight

KM Scorchio posted:

Reading about insane things occurring as byproduct of the underlying mechanics in DF will always be far more fun than actually trying to play it.