quote:

Everyday I wake up and look to the holy shrine beside my bed. Not to any holy man you might praise, but to my own religion which I believe may soon become a major religion in the whole world. For Son Goku is my prophet.

Each day I strive to be more like Him. I train as best I can to replicate the teachings of His great masters. Heavy weights in a bookbag to replicate the Turtle Hermit training. Weight clothing to be like Kami-sama. And even more weighted clothing to be like Kaio-sama and Whis-sama.

I have felt myself get stronger, I have felt myself ascend. Saiya-jins aren't real, but the Super Saiya-jin transformation is a real thing that you can reach. It's all about transcending your human limits. It's about breaking fear. You won't get a golden glow and a new hairdo, that's just fiction. But you will be stronger and faster than you've ever been before.

I started this journey as a sinner. A man who did drugs, drank, and had no friends. Now, I am beyond that. Addiction has left my body. Weakness has left my body.

Last night I prayed to Goku for 3 hours, hoping for the next breakthrough in my training. And it happened. I was weighing close to 300 lbs worth of weighted clothing, shadowboxing in my backyard. And I felt something inside me tear. It was the last shred of weakness breaking. I passed out, and when I awoke, I could feel myself having transcended the limits of human physicality. I'm now a new man, and I hope to start spreading the Word soon. I only wish I had been filming that training session. I wonder - did I manifest ki before passing out? I liken it to when Gohan-san reached Super Saiya-jin the first time. Overwhelming emotion and power, more than one could bear unassisted.

quote:

I have my own office at work. 75% of the time I'm not there. I work off a laptop and can work from home just as easily as I can the office - and my boss is boss of a whole big region, so I see him maybe 3 times a year.

I've probably done 4 hours of actual work in 2017 so far. That's way outpacing last year, when I did about 12 hours of work all year.

Hardawn posted:

like that helmet that simultaneously fires 6 shotgun shells at the same time directly into the brain

loquacius posted:

quote:

If humanity ever comes up with a way to make someone breathe through anything but the mouth I would forcebly do it to a co-worker

Imagine what someone's breath would be like if you literally ate poo poo then fermented it in your mouth, that's how bad hers is

I'm really careful with the way my breath smells even before her. I offer everyone a mint (but never her first or last in order to not completely make it seem like it's only ever for her) and has never accepted

You would really have to try to get your breath that bad and I'm curious when the last time she brushed/flossed

quote:

Hello internet. I am a 35 year old male incel.

Or at least I think I am. I don't have any real hatred toward women. I just haven't been able to have a successful relationship, date or even a hookup, in about fifteen years.

I dated a bit in high school and my first year or two of college, but after that everything stopped. Like I'd get approached by women at parties, only to find out well into a conversation that they had a boyfriend. And if I did get a date? Or if a friend tried to set me up with someone? I'd have what seemed like a decent first date and then be ghosted. If it was a larger gathering, sometimes I'd be completely ignored the whole night.

Online dating? I had to have signed up for just about everything short of Christian Mingle, and I don't even want to think about how much money I spent doing it. This went on for probably ten years (on and off), across three cities, and I ended up getting one date (and a hug) out of it.

Meanwhile, I watched the number of single friends I had move closer and closer toward zero. I officially gave up a couple years ago, after the last two found each other on OKCupid and ended up getting married. Seriously. At this point I'm not even sure what I'd do if I met someone who was interested in me, so it's just as well.

I have a good job and a social life and hobbies. I eat well and stay active. I cook and clean and bathe regularly. I even played bass and guitar in a couple bands. But I've never been able to find out what my problem is. And unless everyone in my life has been lying to me, they can't either.

But I am a little envious of the insane Reddit incels. I think my life could be easier if I could simply blame it all on FEMALES instead of "welp."

loquacius posted:

loquacius posted:

Incel guy

timp posted:

and in your case I'm willing to bet it's confidence

quote:

Archeon is a dream I had the other day. It was an incredibly dystopian future; barren and sand everywhere. There was a room full of people; all minorities. We were getting shoved into chambers and sent into the past; I have no idea how I knew. I managed to escape, only to be stopped by a path of bullets and someone else managed to escape as well; seeing the future for what it was; barren as hell.

My confession is that minorities, come from another place; another planet; another time. They arrived sometime in the future to a barren world ruled by powerful and militaristic 'people'; who then proceeded to send them back in time to be slaves and do menial labor to save the planet from the future that I saw.

I know it sounds crazy but now everytime I see a minority doing some bullshit job and just being an all round failure in life I think 'Archeon'; they came here from another planet so far into the future and were sent back to be slaves and inferior and they don't even know it.

Specifically slavery was influenced by time travelers who needed cheap labor so they sent these advanced beings back to be chained and forced into horrible circumstances; its just the feeling I've been getting now a days.

My dreams are always total mindfucks and make me sad to wake up to this boring reality.

quote:

I hate Nick "Ulillillillillia" Smith and I need him to die. I don't know how this even happened. I followed the several threads that popped up here and there on about him on forums (SA and others) over the years and while these were just amusing in the beginning with time they filled me with a seething hatred for the floor goblin, to the point that I am getting invasive thoughts about violently abusing him in the middle of the day and out of nowhere. I can sit at the desk in my office at work, do some writing and suddenly these fantasies would just pop into my head how I kidnap him, bring him over the mexican border and force him to put on a sonic costume while digging his own grave, then violently beating him with the shovel while he makes animalistic retard noises until he just lies dead still, blood running from his forehead. These thoughts interfere with my life somewhat if I am entirely honest. My work isn't very hard so it doesn't cause performance issues, but still.

I'm following him on facebook and whatever else he does online. The weird thing is, I really am attracted to these thoughts. I do not want to claim that they somehow arouse me but it's not much different from that feeling. I'm a straight guy so this is very weird. I sometimes also come up with elaborate torture fantasies that involve his irrational fears, like locking him naked in a room where the floor is a mirror and dosing him with a drug like LSD, just to see what happens. The mirror would of course be behind safety glass so he doesn't smash it. I would then watch from the outside and masturbate. Like I said, he doesn't turn me on or anything but in the fantasy I just masturbate. I repeat, I am not gay.

I wish I could get a girl to act like him, a girl that has a kinky streak and mental disorder maybe? I think it would make me the happiest man on earth.

loquacius posted:

General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I repeat, I am not gay.

Is this one forum drama? I have no idea who this guy is so I'm not sure. Will take it down if necessary.

loquacius posted:

Is this one forum drama? I have no idea who this guy is so I'm not sure. Will take it down if necessary.

quote:

Archeon is a dream I had the other day. It was an incredibly dystopian future; barren and sand everywhere. There was a room full of people; all minorities. We were getting shoved into chambers and sent into the past; I have no idea how I knew. I managed to escape, only to be stopped by a path of bullets and someone else managed to escape as well; seeing the future for what it was; barren as hell.

My confession is that minorities, come from another place; another planet; another time. They arrived sometime in the future to a barren world ruled by powerful and militaristic 'people'; who then proceeded to send them back in time to be slaves and do menial labor to save the planet from the future that I saw.

I know it sounds crazy but now everytime I see a minority doing some bullshit job and just being an all round failure in life I think 'Archeon'; they came here from another planet so far into the future and were sent back to be slaves and inferior and they don't even know it.

Specifically slavery was influenced by time travelers who needed cheap labor so they sent these advanced beings back to be chained and forced into horrible circumstances; its just the feeling I've been getting now a days.

My dreams are always total mindfucks and make me sad to wake up to this boring reality.

loquacius posted:

The mirror would of course be behind safety glass so he doesn't smash it.

areyoucontagious posted:

For real, nothing is more boring than hearing about someone else's dream, nevermind some anonymous jackass's flash dream fiction

loquacius posted:

Is this one forum drama? I have no idea who this guy is so I'm not sure. Will take it down if necessary.

quote:

Hello, Loquacious! I hope you're having a fun day. I guess that's a weird way to start this off, but whatever.

I've made two confessions in the last thread, one was real but mundane and the other was completely fake. Then I sent one that was completely insane and it was never used because it was dumb.

I've actually read through all the confessions in this thread, and so I decided I wanted to write one that was true and that I have a hard time telling. Friends of mine know pieces of this, but I tend to paint myself in the best light possible, which might not actually be healthy in this case.

I'm in my early thirties right now, but I've always been chronically depressed and had other mental issues. When I was 19 years old, I met a woman. She was hilarious, intelligent, and absolutely gorgeous. We were friends almost immediately, and I fell for her HARD. The big problem was that she was married. I never had the highest confidence in myself, and oddly enough I think that "helped" me in this case. I ended up telling her that I really liked her and that if she wasn't married I'd go out with her in a heartbeat. I knew that I would be rejected, I had to be. She was married.

She later asked me to hang out with her- to go to her poetry jam. I was 19 so I mistakenly thought that would be a good time, and said "sure, sounds great." So she picked me up in her car and we went to her house for a bit. Her husband wasn't home. She kissed me. I don't remember my first kiss or the first time I had sex, but I remember this. I remember pulling away for a moment and then thinking, "gently caress it," and kissing her again anyway. What followed was the best three months I've ever had, but I'm not here to brag about that.

She broke it off with me because of various reasons (her husband was an actual monster, but that really isn't my story to tell). I just wouldn't let it go, though. One time I walked out of class and tried to throw myself into traffic so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I didn't even get hurt because I was hilariously bad at it. Eventually, we couldn't even be friends and I could barely go to classes with her. Though she still wanted to talk to me for some reason, I made the decision to stop for my own health and for her own sake so she wouldn't have to deal with me being a dumbass.

For years I didn't contact her. I went into a relationship that I barely even think about anymore even though I ended up living with her and it also being the last relationship I've been in. She cheated on me with a guy and denies it to this day even though he's now her fiance.

A few months afterwards I got back in touch with the first woman. She seems to have it together, having finally divorced the man she was married to, and she's in a stable poly relationship. It was cool to be friends with her, talking on the phone and online from a few states away. Unfortunately, I started to fall for her again. Now, I have no interest in polyamory, and SHE HAD NO INTEREST IN DATING ME. I have to emphasize that part, because my brain didn't want to hear that for the longest time. I talked to her for years afterwards, it being a onesided "love" relationship which was really just an obsession on my part. She knew I was obsessed, but for years didn't really do anything about it because she enjoyed talking to me and hanging out with me in person every once in a while (once every few years because of distance).

It came to a head a few years back, and I decided to spontaneously visit her on a vacation of mine if it was OK with her. It was. So I stayed in a hotel while she was at her boyfriend's and I had one of the best days of my life. I talked to her and had fun at lunch with her and her kid. We visited an awesome museum and then later we had dinner. She cuddled with me in bed, but we didn't do anything sexual. That was a bit beyond the line, but I think that I pressured her to do it which is hosed up of me. I honestly can't remember a lot of the details like that.

So, naturally, after having such a great time with her I decided I was going to quit my job and then move to the same city she lived in. I told her all of this and that I loved her and would always love her. STRANGELY for SOME REASON she started avoiding me. And not taking my texts, calls, or Facebook messages. I freaked the gently caress out and started thinking about suicide seriously. Robin Williams died around the same time, and so I took a belt and hung it around my neck and got ready to jump when my sister caught me. I started going to therapy soon afterwards.

Here's the kicker though: a year later became obsessed with a subordinate at work. It went so far that I ended up getting fired after trying to hang myself at work. Therapy itself wasn't working (especially since my therapist actually ENCOURAGED ME TO TRY AND START A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SUBORDINATE).

Since this time, I've been medicated for depression and anxiety. The medication I take also makes it so I don't get obsessed as easily (Lexapro- not sure how that works or whatever). I'm able to function a lot better now, though I'm afraid to get attached to anyone so I don't really even try for relationships for fear that I will act like an insane person. I'm working on it. It may very well be better that I stay by myself for now.

The problem is, I can't be honest with the people I know and love because I'm afraid that they'll think I'm a monster. I try hard to be a good person, but when I'm not medicated thoughts just repeat over and over again in my brain until I can't help but act on it. Oddly enough, my psychiatrist says it's a function of my depression and anxiety working in tandem rather than obsessive compulsion which doesn't sound intuitive to me, but I'm also not a psychiatrist so what do I know?

I'm lucky my medication is cheap, because I'm pretty afraid of losing my healthcare which my current job doesn't provide. You don't want me around unmedicated.

Thanks for listening. I feel really sad now after confessing that, so please don't hate me.

quote:

A guy pulled a gun on me a few years ago at a shady bar near the college I was attended. He wanted my keys and wallet and I gave them to him. He took my wallet then chucked my keys onto the roof of a 3 story building, apparently to distract me from chasing him down. I was utterly terrified and never felt that level of fear before or since.

Cops never found the guy, but I cancelled my credit cards and considered myself lucky to have just lost some cards, 60 bucks in paper money, and my lucky silver dollar.

A year or so later I was at the same bar and saw the guy in there drinking a beer. I utterly froze, I felt like everything was coming back and this guy would rob me or kill me this time. I left the bar and went home and cried for an hour or so before falling asleep. I called the cops the next day and said that guy was at the bar, and they eventually did catch him and arrest him. Never did get my stuff back though. That was the lowest point in my life.

loquacius posted:

I'm not clicking those links but I'm guessing from context that this Ullillia character is kind of like Chris-chan

whiter than a Wilco show posted:

Stable poly




Ahahahhaahahhahhshshhshshshhshhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

whiter than a Wilco show posted:

Stable poly




Ahahahhaahahhahhshshhshshshhshhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

quote:

I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.

I have been seeing a therapist for 9 years, as long as the memories have been happening. I believe with all my heart that some event happened 9 years ago that stranded me in this timeline/universe without my wife. And I miss her every day, even though my therapist says she's just an amalgamation of my various "dream women" in my life, an idealized version of everyone I've dated and everyone I've ever had a crush on.

But I swear to God, every morning I wake up and for a moment, I remember waking up next to her. And then I feel the warm tears running down my cheeks and start my lonely day.

quote:

Nobody will believe this confession, and that's fine. It needs to be said and, when I am on the news, you'll understand why.

I was cleaning my deceased father's house up before selling it and found a massive haul of things in the garage. Tools and some old family heirlooms mostly. Things he wanted to hold on to. I also found a metal cylinder with a screw on cap. I unscrewed the cap thinking there would be something inside. A pink liquid dripped out on to my hands and on the floor. And that's when my life ended.

At that point, the room started to get dim and I heard a voice speaking to me. It explained that it was a demon who had been sealed in the jar, and that by letting it out, I was bound to it for life. It would grant me 3 wishes, but when I died, I would burn in Hell for eternity and it would gain possession of my mortal body.

I thought I was drugged or hallucinating, so I left the garage. I cleaned myself up and went to the hospital. The liquid on me was ink, nothing else. I went home that evening feeling really stupid. I got drunk and stupidly started thinking about what I had heard in the garage. I said that I wished I had a million dollars. Nothing happened for a while and I felt even dumber.

The next morning I got a phone call. My brother had been in a really terrible work accident and died on the assembly line. He listed me as his beneficiary. He had life insurance that paid out double in case of death or dismemberment at work. I had a million dollars.

I used my 2nd wish today. I asked for understanding of life and death and I got it. And nobody was meant to know this stuff for a reason. It's like an ant suddenly understanding quantum mechanics. I look at my boyfriend now and can see every individual cell, I can understand them living and dying, and I can see every moment in his past and every moment he's going to live. It's too much.

I won't let the demon have my mortal body. My third wish will be to kill myself in a way that leaves no corpse at all, not even a speck of blood. Perhaps getting atomized in a nuclear reactor.