dad chat 2017: Actually I'm an Ephebophile! *Okinawa geta locked down again*

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > dad chat 2017: Actually I'm an Ephebophile! *Okinawa geta locked down again*

«‹›434 »

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

way to rain on the parade of an entrepreneur

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 17, 2024 09:58

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Chemists need work too.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:35

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Chemists need work too.

I assume he was lovely at it anyhow because why else would he try to become the day manager of a low end hotel chain. Maybe he'll learn some better trade secrets on the inside

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:36

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Way to drive up the price of meth. :thumbsup:

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:37

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Booblord Zagats posted:

I assume he was lovely at it anyhow because why else would he try to become the day manager of a low end hotel chain. Maybe he'll learn some better trade secrets on the inside

Probably a really good place to meet clients without being out in the open. Lots of transient traffic.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:38

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Booblord Zagats posted:

Good work story:

Doing a background check on a potential hire for a hotel franchise owner we are contracted with, I found the dude's unsecured dropbox, tons of pictures of him cooking meth and some instructional pdfs on how to do it, possibly written by the guy, not sure. I tipped off the local sheriff after I delivered the report

Red P or one-step?

Booblord Zagats posted:

I assume he was lovely at it anyhow because why else would he try to become the day manager of a low end hotel chain. Maybe he'll learn some better trade secrets on the inside

He can let his buds cook in the unoccupied rooms at a discount? Very entrepreneurial.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:46

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Booblord Zagats posted:

Good work story:

Doing a background check on a potential hire for a hotel franchise owner we are contracted with, I found the dude's unsecured dropbox, tons of pictures of him cooking meth and some instructional pdfs on how to do it, possibly written by the guy, not sure. I tipped off the local sheriff after I delivered the report

Snitches get stitches.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:20

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

joat mon posted:

He can let his buds cook in the unoccupied rooms at a discount? Very entrepreneurial.

Got a cousin that blew up a hotel room making meth. He was blown out the second floor window in only his underwear. Just one of the many charges that got him a long prison stint.

He also blew up a car by leaving his meth rig in the car on a hot day with a bunch of those soda bottle rigs in the trunk. Made a grand fireball out my grandparents Grand Marquis.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:06

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

/\ /\ /\ /\
Got a guy doing life for that. He and his buddy were cooking, but he was holding the bottle when the Li melted through the plastic. His buddy died, but thankfully nobody else in their apartment block that burned did.

TBeats posted:

Snitches get stitches.

Snitches don't get fixes.

joat mon fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Jan 27, 2017

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:08

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Booblord Zagats posted:

I assume he was lovely at it anyhow because why else would he try to become the day manager of a low end hotel chain. Maybe he'll learn some better trade secrets on the inside

health insurance aint cheap

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:22

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

Got a cousin that blew up a hotel room making meth. He was blown out the second floor window in only his underwear. Just one of the many charges that got him a long prison stint.

He also blew up a car by leaving his meth rig in the car on a hot day with a bunch of those soda bottle rigs in the trunk. Made a grand fireball out my grandparents Grand Marquis. I dunno, times was tough. I blame that sumbitch Dubya in the White House.

This reads like the opening lines to the sequel of Raising Arizona= the Nathan Arizona Story.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:05

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

I didn't say I had the smartest family.

In fact, I'm fairly sure from the stories I've told here, we're in the running for Regionals for dumbest family, but we'd never place nationally because Florida and Texas have that covered.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 20:30

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

GiP is packed to the gills with delinquents I tells ya.

But seriously, I'm pretty sure the hiring manager is a real believer in background checks now

# ? Jan 27, 2017 21:14

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Dumb relative stories?

My cousin robbed a string of Blockbusters with an assault rifle wearing no mask to try and get money to skip town after he beat the poo poo out of some woman who shorted him on a drug deal.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 21:27

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

TBeats posted:

Dumb relative stories?

My cousin robbed a string of Blockbusters with an assault rifle wearing no mask to try and get money to skip town after he beat the poo poo out of some woman who shorted him on a drug deal.

I feel like that's the plot of a movie starring Johnny Knoxville

# ? Jan 27, 2017 21:31

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Booblord Zagats posted:

Good work story:

Doing a background check on a potential hire for a hotel franchise owner we are contracted with, I found the dude's unsecured dropbox, tons of pictures of him cooking meth and some instructional pdfs on how to do it, possibly written by the guy, not sure. I tipped off the local sheriff after I delivered the report

Digging your occupation.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 21:51

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Pesticide20 posted:

I feel like that's the plot of a movie starring Johnny Knoxville

B-Plot of an episode of Justified right there

# ? Jan 27, 2017 23:11

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Booblord Zagats posted:

B-Plot of an episode of Justified right there

Dewey Crow!

# ? Jan 27, 2017 23:13

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Chemists need work too.

Which is why they should do some good for the country and improve the LSD supply.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 00:09

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Re: cooking

http://twitter.com/foodnetwerk/status/188351893200846848?lang=en

# ? Jan 28, 2017 00:30

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Haha that's so weird twitter

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:27

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Welp, just contacted the fire marshal over a code violation in my apartment the complex has known about for five months and done nothing to resolve. Wonder how long it will be until I come home to a note on my door to pry my own fuse panel open, so I can give that to the fire marshal.

One more month in this loving shithole. One. More. Month.

gently caress these people running this joint. If they moved a little old lady into an apartment and she couldn't open the fuse panel because they painted it shut (and I'm drat positive they have), she wouldn't stand a chance of getting it open if a fire started. Shithole complex management companies need to be fined out of existence if they can't meet fire code.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:34

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

My landlords rule. Quarterly inspections twice a year, other than that I never see them.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:37

Nostalgia4Dogges: Jun 18, 2004; Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

Got a digital copy of:

~~Donnie Darko~~
Independence Day 1

Up for grabs

Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Jan 28, 2017

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:38

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

Got a digital copy of:

Donnie Darko
Independence Day 1

Up for grabs

I wouldnt mind a digital of Donnie Darko.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:41

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

TBeats posted:

My landlords rule. Quarterly inspections twice a year, other than that I never see them.

Isn't that biannual if it's twice a year?

Going to check out some places tomorrow. This place can burn to the ground after I leave at the end of next month.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:48

lite_sleepr: Jun 3, 2003

but it makes no fuckin' sense

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:50

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

/\ that I'd love to see this place burn down? Well, I have my reasons. I'd hope all the infirm old ladies are out first though.

Kitten enjoying the new cat bed.

Frank, not getting the point of his new bed.

It's a good evening to order pizza and cuddle with the fur monsters.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:53

Nostalgia4Dogges: Jun 18, 2004; Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

LingcodKilla posted:

I wouldnt mind a digital of Donnie Darko.

poo poo forgot it's not here but I'll send it soon

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:58

lite_sleepr: Jun 3, 2003

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

/\ that I'd love to see this place burn down? Well, I have my reasons. I'd hope all the infirm old ladies are out first though.

Kitten enjoying the new cat bed.

Frank, not getting the point of his new bed.

It's a good evening to order pizza and cuddle with the fur monsters.

Can I come too :kiddo:

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:40

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

There's another cat in the recliner not pictured. He's older and crotchety but if you can tolerate that, the chair's open.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:49

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

Isn't that biannual if it's twice a year?

Going to check out some places tomorrow. This place can burn to the ground after I leave at the end of next month.

Their policy is quarterly. They only show up twice a year.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:57

lite_sleepr: Jun 3, 2003

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

There's another cat in the recliner not pictured. He's older and crotchety but if you can tolerate that, the chair's open.

Cats find me most agreeable. It's why my house is a bed and breakfast for strays :/

# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:16

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Hey Dad chatters, I'm looking for suggestions for simple and healthy lunch options for the work week.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:25

bengy81: May 8, 2010

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Hey Dad chatters, I'm looking for suggestions for simple and healthy lunch options for the work week.

Do you have access to a microwave?

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:29

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

My lunch for the last three weeks has been fruits and vegetables with almonds and a granola bar.

Usually it has:
Spinach, strawberries, carrots, grapes, apple slices, raspberries.

I pack Tupperware every Sunday for the week and put it in the fridge. No cooking and no heating.

It's not bad tbh.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:29

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Munching on fiber bars throughout the day helps maximize your work pooping.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:32

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

bengy81 posted:

Do you have access to a microwave?

yeah

TBeats posted:

My lunch for the last three weeks has been fruits and vegetables with almonds and a granola bar.

Usually it has:
Spinach, strawberries, carrots, grapes, apple slices, raspberries.

I pack Tupperware every Sunday for the week and put it in the fridge. No cooking and no heating.

It's not bad tbh.

that sounds good. i got some almonds to snack on.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:33