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May 13, 2024 09:00
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- Dads Dip Cup
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as I walk past the receptionist, she motions up at my head. smiling and without breaking my stride I remove my ten-gallon hat, revealing a slightly smaller hat underneath, and continue on my way.
"bring it on" I say to myself with steely resolve. "I can do this all day"
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Jan 31, 2017 03:07
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- RoboFrance_29
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GET EQUIPPED
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I take the last cup of coffee & don't make another pot
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Jan 31, 2017 04:55
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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I fix the pot hole my self so the city has to pay for free labor. That's money being flushed down the drain!
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Jan 31, 2017 05:23
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- FluffieDuckie
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I didn't go through the door labeled Authorized Personnel Only even though I'm totally authorized
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Jan 31, 2017 06:23
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- City of Glompton
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I used alphabet magnets to leave graffiti on the statehouse bell
thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig
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Jan 31, 2017 07:29
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- Ultra Spoot
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Every time I go to the bank, I steal a pen and put it in my closet. Check it out *opens closet, is instantly buried under billions of pens*
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Jan 31, 2017 09:54
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- HotSoapyBeard
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I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Boss delays me 5 minutes at the end of work, turn up the next day 5 minutes late. I'm the first one in every day so no one can possibly know.
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Jan 31, 2017 10:09
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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Hello, city Hall? Is your fridge running?
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Jan 31, 2017 14:08
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- FactsAreUseless
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I sang the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on, my friends.
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Jan 31, 2017 15:03
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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Gently caress the police!
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jan 31, 2017 15:10
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- wearing a lampshade
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No income... no taxes
Checkmate
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Jan 31, 2017 16:07
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- google THIS
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I write "PRESS BUTTON, RECEIVE BACON" on the hand dryers in public restrooms, but get this: The dryers are touchless.
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Jan 31, 2017 16:33
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- google THIS
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*charges into a bookstore, picks up the first volume I see*
"This cover sucks! That means the book must suck too!"
*runs out before anyone has time to call security*
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Jan 31, 2017 19:39
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- City of Glompton
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I slip glossy trifolds of goatse into the visitor's guides and brochures of every government building I enter
thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig
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Jan 31, 2017 19:52
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- I Was The Fury
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Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds
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I cross out the date under "best enjoyed by" and use a marker to write my own name in on all the groceries I buy.
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Jan 31, 2017 20:01
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- I Was The Fury
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Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds
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I open all my packages with the "this side up" arrow facing down. Amazon has stopped returning my increasingly angry phone calls.
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Jan 31, 2017 20:02
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- FluffieDuckie
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I used alphabet magnets to leave graffiti on the statehouse bell
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Jan 31, 2017 20:45
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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i used white out to cover the letters "S" and "D" on the speed limit sign in my neighborhood
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Jan 31, 2017 21:05
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- vanisher
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I clip my nails while waiting in line in public places
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Jan 31, 2017 22:52
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- vanisher
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I make the bank teller complete my deposit slip for me
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Jan 31, 2017 22:53
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- City of Glompton
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I feed parking meters nickles only
thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig
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Jan 31, 2017 23:14
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- City of Glompton
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I also buy 1¢ stamps for use in all my mailing needs
thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig
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Jan 31, 2017 23:21
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- a fragile ego
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Most people aren't allowed to go behind the counter at a fast food place. Ya'll know I'm kind of a bad egg, so I think you can guess what I did anyway. If I got caught is up to your imagination.
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Jan 31, 2017 23:30
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- a fragile ego
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I wrote "the game" on the board in my classroom. You just lost it!
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Jan 31, 2017 23:31
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 13, 2024 09:00
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- FluffieDuckie
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In the park there is a sign "No walking on the grass" so I run instead.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Feb 1, 2017 00:09
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