/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Thread needs fresh content badly. In the meantime, do you guys think a hot dog is a sandwich?

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:12

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# ? May 23, 2024 21:28

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I just don't get why these types of idiots want to date teenagers when there's millions of other women out there. Why desire a drama-packed relationship well outside their peer group when they could date someone around their own age?

society tries to invest us in the idea of "the one" and true love, which causes people to ignore the bad parts of someone they're in love with because love is a pure and supernatural thing that draws you to another person by invisible strings of fate. this makes people get stuck in bad relationships because they don't want to question this mysterious process of being super horny for someone that they don't otherwise like that much

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:12

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

I'm going to post something new as vegans are dull and lame:

I [28 F] am moving across the country with my best friend [30 M]. Do I have a chance?

quote:

Okay, so we have literally been friends for over twenty years and we recently decided to move to the west coast for the hell of it. We've never had a romantic relationship but we are both really important to each other.

Over the years, I have definitely and thoroughly imagined what it would be like if we were together.

We are both very logical when it comes to dedicating our time and emotions to things or people. Neither of us date much at all. Both of us generally do not like people (YA FEEEEL ME).

He had a super bad experience with his last serious girlfriend. He has said on my multiple occasions that I'm the only woman he actually considered himself close with. We are constantly chillin' together, going on hikes, and i'm super tight with his mom. But mind you, this isn't like, maybe he likes me and is afraid to say it. If had romantic feelings for me I'm not sure if he'd even be aware of it.

So here's where I need insight...Am I crazy for thinking this could be a chance for us to see how we feel about each other? Help me out reddit. Be real with me.

This will end well :downs:

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:14

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

LethalGeek posted:

I [28 F] am moving across the country with my best friend [30 M]. Do I have a chance?
This will end well

Very well. Just touch his dick, lady. Why are you waffling on and on about it?

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:17

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

Here's some goofy poo poo that got real dark when I checked to see if it was a throwaway and found the OP has a career posting on pony porn subs

I [18/M] have a girlfriend [17/F], been with her for 5 months, who still has an imaginary boyfriend

quote:

So, I've been with this girl for nearly 5 months, and it has been going great but until at this point where she admitted that she has an imaginary boyfriend

I told her to be honest about what she thinks about "him" but she keeps saying "nevermind" and refuses to tell me, so I think she had been thinking about having sex with it even..

She said that she thinks about him whenever we fight, but still applies even we're not fighting, just not that often

We fought about this for an hour, and we've settled this by making her promise to stop imagining because it bothers me, it kinda shows that my presence here isn't important, and get neglected in a way especially in a sex life

It is fine now, but.. I'm still worried that she'd do it again and it's driving me crazy. I have a bad habit of overthinking stuff, and I am definitely doing it now, she promised to stop, but she seems not too sure, because it has been her habit before the relationship started due to kept her company but it kept going

What should I do to make her permanently stop thinking about it, what advice that I could use to help her?

tl;dr my girlfriend has an imaginary boyfriend, she promised to stop thinking about him even fantasizing sex with it, but she seems unsure. What advice or help I could use to make her stop permanently

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:22

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I just don't get why these types of idiots want to date teenagers when there's millions of other women out there. Why desire a drama-packed relationship well outside their peer group when they could date someone around their own age? I don't get it. Getting your creepy maladjusted jollies off becomes tedious when your girlfriend is complaining about college or finding her first job when you're in your goddamn 30s.

The answer is probably mental illness though.

19 year old girls are often very attractive and easily convinced to perform certain filthy filthy acts moreso than their 29 year old counterparts, hth

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:25

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Here's some goofy poo poo that got real dark when I checked to see if it was a throwaway and found the OP has a career posting on pony porn subs

I [18/M] have a girlfriend [17/F], been with her for 5 months, who still has an imaginary boyfriend

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:26

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Yawgmoth posted:

19 year old girls are often very attractive and easily convinced to perform certain filthy filthy acts moreso than their 29 year old counterparts, hth

Nah. Older women are less hung up about "looking too slutty" or whatever plus young people are still figuring their garbage out.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

19-year-old girls don't have a benchmark for "normal". That's why a lot of guys only get laid at that age and then go dry. Women learn to recognize their sucknitude.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:33

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Yawgmoth posted:

19 year old girls are often very attractive

But can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch????

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:34

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Yawgmoth posted:

19 year old girls are often very attractive and easily convinced to perform certain filthy filthy acts moreso than their 29 year old counterparts, hth

Pretty sure this is incorrect in every way because studies, and also personal experience, show women (and men) become more uninhibited about their sexuality as they age.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Jan 31, 2017

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Pretty sure this is incorrect in every way because studies, and also personal experience, show women (and men) become more uninhabited about their sexuality as they age.

tell me about it :saddowns:

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:34

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Pick posted:

tell me about it

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:37

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Pick posted:

tell me about it

Lol

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:40

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

women will let you do filthy things to their ear canal by their mid 70s

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:41

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

women will let you do filthy things to their ear canal by their mid 70s

old people tend to be rife with STIs because they dont use condoms past menopause and a lot of them are either widows/widowers or just dont give a gently caress. my folks live in a senior village in florida and according to them the favored pastimes of the neighbors are ridiculous local government drama and just tons of swinging and trios

there's one guy who hangs out in his car port smoking weed and listening to old rolling stones albums constantly. i bet that dude gets mad old pussy

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

local govt is all old people sticking their whatevers in neighborly folds

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:46

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

LethalGeek posted:

Nah. Older women are less hung up about "looking too slutty" or whatever plus young people are still figuring their garbage out.

Men date younger women because they get to be the ones to gently caress up their lives.

Also Vegan girl should just break up and move on. You need to have compatible values with the people you are in long term relationships with, or that's just going to be a constant source of strain.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:46

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

But can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch????

But why are men attracted to these women at the height of their youth and beauty?

I can find these dudes gross, but it's not hard to picture why they want to date a 19 year old.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:48

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

30 year olds expect you to be an adult who has or is getting their poo poo together mentally and financially. 20 year olds post about it on reddit and continue to sleep with you.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:49

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

PS I like the Mr. Dink avatar and also like that Doug had a character named Mr. "Dual Income, No Kids" who was always buying expensive stuff.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:52

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

PS I like the Mr. Dink avatar and also like that Doug had a character named Mr. "Dual Income, No Kids" who was always buying expensive stuff.

would just like to point out that the writer of Manchester by the Sea also wrote an episode of Doug

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

If anything, women are getting smarter younger when it comes to relationships because they can enter search terms like "demands anal" and "winston churchill" straight into Google and get people sharing their past experiences and telling them to do the prudent thing, :murder:

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Sorry, every guy in a band

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:58

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Here's some goofy poo poo that got real dark when I checked to see if it was a throwaway and found the OP has a career posting on pony porn subs

I [18/M] have a girlfriend [17/F], been with her for 5 months, who still has an imaginary boyfriend

open the relationship to her incubus

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:59

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

drat, as I approach 30 I was thinking maybe I'll meet more women if I join a band or become an actor, are you telling me that doesn't work????

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:00

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Pick posted:

Sorry, every guy in a band

Are you actually sorry though?

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:01

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

drat, as I approach 30 I was thinking maybe I'll meet more women if I join a band or become an actor, are you telling me that doesn't work????

why bother with a whole band when you can just learn most of Wonderwall and go from party to party with your guitar playing and slaying

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

VanSandman posted:

Are you actually sorry though?

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:04

Rockman Reserve: Oct 2, 2007; "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

why bother with a whole band when you can just learn most of Wonderwall and go from party to party with your guitar playing and slaying

the weird resurgence of twee pseudo-folk nonsense over the last decade has made getting laid by playing guitar with zero talent easier than it's been for ages

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:12

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Pick posted:

no

savage af

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:12

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

why bother with a whole band when you can just learn most of Wonderwall and go from party to party with your guitar playing and slaying

I will become the conor oberst of computer programming. *buys rocksmith on steam sale, never gets around to buying guitar*

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:18

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

just learn "sports" on keytar and women will be dripping to wet your dock

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:18

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I play my banjo for that puss

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:20

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

To balance things out for the vegans in the audience here's an old but a goodie:

My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again?

quote:

Right, so this is the dumbest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I can't believe my older brother, Rick, is acting like this.

I've been with my fiance for three years, but this was the first time we were able to bring him up for a family function. We flew in for Thanksgiving, and now we're coming up for Christmas as well.
Henry, my fiance, is vegan. I'm not. It's never been an issue for us at all. It wasn't an issue for my parents, either. Henry asked what we could make, and my Dad assigned him mashed potatos and brussels sprouts. We still had a zillion kinds of meat and other sides. The rolls were also vegan, but they would have been anyway. They always are, it's just the recipe we use.

Everything was fine until Rick noticed, near the end of the meal, that Henry was eating the mashed potato and roll. Rick asked him if he wasn't vegan anymore, and Henry said "Oh, the mashed potatoes are vegan."
Rick was visibly upset (despite that he ate a huge serving of them and said they were good). But he didn't say anything. The night ended, all was well, and when we got back home, I had an email from Rick.
He had addressed it to be, but added everyone in the family's email as well. Except for Henry's. He said that it was nice that Henry was vegan and all, but that he refuses to accept being preached to, he doesn't like having his judgmental choices brought up at dinner, it was unacceptable that we would "pick the mashed potatoes" and expect everyone to be fine with it, etc etc etc.

I haven't shown Henry and I don't really want to. But Christmas is coming up, and Rick has made it clear that he doesn't want to be around if Henry will be "imposing" his lifestyle on us anymore.
My parents told me to work it out between the two of us.

I shot back an email saying that Henry didn't do anything wrong, the subject of him being vegan only came up because he (Rick) asked him about it, and that we would be coming.
Now I'm being accused of "ruining" Christmas with our "ridiculous lifestyle".

I have NO idea what to do. What do I do?
tl;dr: Fiance is vegan, we made mashed potato for thanksgiving dinner. Brother didn't know until way after he ate a huge serving of them. He says he isn't coming to Christmas if we're going to "impose" our lifestyle on him now. And that I've ruined Christmas. What do I dO?

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

lmao

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:38

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

ArbitraryC posted:

To balance things out for the vegans in the audience here's an old but a goodie:

My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again?

Another situation easily resolved with a white lie. Just say that whatever isn't vegan even if it is.

Actually, he's progressed into just hating Henry. Nevermind, gently caress this dude, uninvite him.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:38

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

ArbitraryC posted:

To balance things out for the vegans in the audience here's an old but a goodie:

My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again?

Don't tell Rick about oreos or he'll kill himself

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:40

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

WampaLord posted:

Another situation easily resolved with a white lie. Just say that whatever isn't vegan even if it is.

kind of a dead giveaway if he's eating it.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:40

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# ? May 23, 2024 21:28

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Imagine being parents and having to tell your 30-year old children to "work it out themselves" because they came to you in a dispute as if they're 14.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 19:41

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