- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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Your take on free breakfasts make sense, and the place I interned at did dinners you could get comped for which I can see as incentive for staying late, but what about free lunches, or snacks of your choice? Is that just to reinforce cultiness rather than when you stay?
How long officially is your lunch break? If you left the building, ate, came back how long would you be out of office? If lunch is in the break room how long are you going to be away from your desk? Is the delta between time out of office and time in breakroom * hourly pay less than the cost of the lunch? If so the company is coming out ahead.
Think of it, $5 in family style catering and you're working 25 minutes more at an amortized $70/hr pay is getting the company $30 more productivity for each and every worker that does it.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 22:10
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- WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
- Oct 27, 2007
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How do I [ 27/M] redeem myself after a possibly creepy comment on a friend's [22/F] photo?quote:There is this girl in my friend group who I think is pretty cool. We've known each other for about 2 years and just see each other at shows. She likes most of my posts that I post on social media, so I kinda assumed that she might like me.
Anyway, last night she posted a photo promotion for XYZ music festival 2017, and said how XYZ is her favorite music festival.
Anyway, I went to XYZ fest in 2016, but don't recall seeing her there. I left a comment casually asking "Where were you XYZ 2016? Lol." she never replied to the comment.
Now, I think that may have been creepy, or stalkerish. Even if she didn't think so, her lack of reply could come across to the other females in my social group that I'm creepy or a loser. So I need to redeem my social market value somehow. Any ideas?
TL;DR: Casually asked why a girl didn't go to a festival last year when she promoted the same festival this year. Might have been creepy. What can I do to redeem my social value? quote:She replied to 2 other people's comments. But not me.
She probably thinks im an incel. quote:Nah, research the bandwagon effect. People respond better to people who are ppopular. If someone is not popular and alone, people will ignore them...take a psychology class. quote:Because other females in my social circle will see how I was ignored, and the womankind hivemind will know to automatically fall in line.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:11
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Just hangin' with the boys, jerkin off on a stranger, you know, the usual
I think an obvious indicator that you didn't do cocaine is to throw a chair at your girlfriend in a fit of rage
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Feb 2, 2017 17:11
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet in maternity wear
My mind commences to prepare
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth
I'm a fool, she's heterosexual
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
BF's baby in her womb
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good like-minded girl
Then she farted from her rear
If everyone's a little straight
Can't she be a little queer?
I'm a fool, she's heterosexual
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
BF's baby in her womb
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
The songs Tolkien wrote in the Silmarillion are pretty weird IMO.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:14
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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if you cross your eyes when you read that post it forms the image of a mullet and a Firebird up on cinderblocks
This actually works.
Also, context for breakfast chat: I am, of course, insanely jealous that their biggest workplace issue is free breakfast. They're great people and I am glad that's their biggest problem, though.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:16
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Also, context for breakfast chat: I am, of course, insanely jealous that their biggest workplace issue is free breakfast.
Yes, if you are bitching about the free breakfast at work, please take a moment of self awareness and shut the gently caress up.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:24
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- Moridin920
- Nov 15, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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If I feel myself begin to get exploited by my employer I find a different job. It always comes down to some weirdo "company loyalty" that results in people being doormats that work 50+ hrs a week for years and years on end before finally having a breakdown. After 2 years at a place you should be looking at moving on anyway unless they throw a fat raise at you.
Just quit drat, idc what job it is. If you are good at IT you'll probably make just as much money if not more either independently fixing people's computers a la Geek Squad for 1/3rd the price or just working in another company that has decent policies. Unless you literally have 0 skill and are a fast food employee it's not that easy to replace people and places that have high turnover in positions that need somewhat skilled workers who need to be trained don't do well and managers (well, good ones) like to avoid that happening.
It's like /r/relationships but for jobs/bosses. Break up.
e: especially if you're not even getting OT wtf lol
Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Feb 2, 2017
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Feb 2, 2017 17:31
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Me [31 M]. My fiance [31 F] has recently started insisting a framed love poem that her ex wrote her be displayed in our kitchen.
quote:My fiance and I (dating 3 years) have gone through quite a bit over the last year. I put off our wedding a year because I wasn't sure if we were right for each other and I mislead her about my financial situation. Both these things hurt her greatly and have made things difficult.
After awhile I decided I'd made a mistake and did want to be with this woman but repairing the relationship has seemed impossible at times. She harbors a lot of resentment and has trouble trusting me. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one interested in getting things back to a healthy place. She acts like because I hurt her in the past she can behave however she wants without taking responsibility for her actions (e.g. she broke a bunch of our chairs one day when she was upset and shows no remorse for it, she says that I pushed her to the edge and it's my fault that she broke the chairs and I'm the one that should be apologizing).
Recently in a fight she took out an old poem that an ex wrote her that's framed and put it up on a piece of furniture in our kitchen/living room area where we display nice things like cards from my family etc. I've been trying hard to not let our fights escalate and try to approach things calmly and with understanding so I haven't really pushed the subject. I tried to talk to her about how much it bothered me once and her response was basically that I'm trying to control her. She said that she has been suicidal (which has been an ongoing thing, this wasn't the first time that's been brought up) and that being surrounded by things that remind her of a time when there was positivity in her life help her get through it.
I've tried to be understanding about this but I'm very conflicted. Half the time I want to throw down an ultimatum and just say that poem goes or I go. Sometimes I think that, well, if this actually does help her get through some dark emotional stuff maybe it's not a big deal, but at the same time I do not want to set a precedent that she can use suicide as a way to get what she wants in an argument.
Just looking to talk it out and get some advice.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:42
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- Moridin920
- Nov 15, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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Why in the gently caress would you start a marriage under those conditions jfc.
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Feb 2, 2017 17:43
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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if you take out all the capital letters in the poem it just reads LIBERATE TUTAMET
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Feb 2, 2017 17:46
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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If there's one thing r/relationships posters absolutely hate, it's communication.
If there's two, it's communicating and mothercunting chairs.
quote: Our chairs can't support an upcoming overweight dinner guest.
u/awkwardhostadvice2y
A few weeks ago a new friend invited us to join a group of people who take turns hosting dinner parties. We are all in our late 20s to early 30s. My husband and I are 29 and 27, respectively. Last night we were asked to host next week.
We're excited but one thing occurred to me: one female member of the group weighs around 350 pounds by my estimation. My husband guesses closer to 375 or more..
Our dining set is antique. It's in good shape, but the chairs cannot support 350 lbs. I asked my husband (engineer) to check them out and he said the chair in best condition can probably hold up to around 305 lbs, the chair in the worst condition can probably hold up to around 265 lbs.
He also said we should avoid approaching even those limits - people sitting down "heavily" or shifting their weight could break the chair pretty easily. And even if a chair can hold 305 pounds for a two minute test, something may happen over the course of a couple of hours.
How can we handle this as non-awkwardly as possible?
So far all we can think to do is buying a sturdy new chair and assigning seats with place cards so she ends up using it. However it will probably be pretty obvious and may offend her.
I should mention that she is pretty vocal about the fact that she does not feel weight is ever a problem. She doesn't think that there's a big issue with weight vs. overall health, and she has made comments about her belief that everything should be made to accommodate overweight people instead of having special products to do it (e.g., all airplane seats should be very large instead of having a passenger use two seats). So it might be easy to offend her...
She seems like someone who I could be great friends with and we get along very well. I want to start our potential friendship off right and this feels like a road block.
tl;dr: Next week we're having a dinner guest who is very certainly beyond the weight of what our antique dining chairs can support. How should we accommodate her without making a scene or offending her?
HAES strikes again.
Bubblyblubber fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Feb 2, 2017
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Feb 2, 2017 17:52
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
My (25/F) close friend/roommate (24/M) is dating a girl (17/F) who's in her junior year of high school.
First, it's legal here. We live in Canada. The age of consent here is a whopping 16. Although this girl is in her junior year of high school, it's perfectly legal for grown, adult men to date her.
Second, this has been going on for two weeks. I came home from a late shift one night, and I found my roommate in the living room w/ a girl. They weren't doing anything wild, so I didn't think anything of it. I just went into the bathroom and washed up. When I came back out to brew some tea before bed, I found the girl in the kitchen. She looked very young to me right off the bat. In any case, I used to look about 12-14 in the face until last year when I started to lose the baby fat around my cheeks. I figured this girl had the same "quirk". I call it Selena Gomez Syndrome. Anyway we got to talking, and she mentioned she had school the next day, so I casually asked what she was studying thinking she was in university.
Lo and behold, she's a junior in high school. At the time she was only 16. She turned 17 a few days ago. She lied to her parents saying she was sleeping over at a female classmate's house.
I stood there in shock, did the math in my head ... She was born in 2000 and my roommate was born in 1992. He's turning 25 in March. That's an 8 year age difference between a high school student and a man in his mid 20's. I don't want to get judgmental, but I'm sure we can all remember those one or two girls in high school who were dating much older men and how awkward it was to hear them bragging about it as if they weren't being taken advantage of to a major degree.
Has my roommate ever dated anyone so young in the past? No. This is very shocking behaviour, actually. Although it's legal I've talked to him in private regarding whether he's thought this one through. Her parents apparently don't know. Because if they did, they would "lose their poo poo" rightly so. He knows it's bad going by the way he talks about it, but he keeps reassuring me that it "means nothing" and he doesn't "plan on dating her for very long".
On the one hand, I'm glad he hasn't deluded himself into thinking a teenaged girl is a suitable long-term partner for him because she's "mature for her age" or whatever other rubbish people usually say, but on the other hand, it's equally if not more disturbing to think he may be using her. By law she's a kid. Even if she says she's okay having a purely sexual relationship with him (which she hasn't said) there's a good chance she won't be okay with it when he tries to end it some time down the road. What if she tells her parents to get back at him? What if they decide to retaliate?
Honestly, he's been a close friend since we were a few years younger than her (over ten years of friendship) and although I'm disgusted by his decision, I also feel the need to look out for him. He was cheated on and broken up with rather savagely a few months back, and he's obviously not himself right now. I don't want him to do anything he can't take back, and I'm confident that he'll wake up someday soon, immediately regretting all of this. I just don't want him to get in too deep.
Should I attempt to talk sense into him? Or should I butt out?
tl;dr The age of consent here is 16. Although it's legal, it's also disturbing. Her parents don't know. If they did they would "lose their poo poo". The girl seems nice, but she's still just a kid, and definitely not a suitable partner for someone so much older. What if, when he tries to end it, she decides to tell her parents in retaliation? My friend has not thought this through. He went through a bad breakup a couple of months ago and he hasn't healed yet. He's not thinking clearly at the moment. Should I attempt to talk sense into him or should I butt out of this?
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Feb 2, 2017 18:03
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Just tell people you got new chairs because the antiques are starting to show their age and aren't really suitable for sitting until they've been looked at and maybe reinforced a little.
It's not even really false.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:07
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Set up a kotatsu and do a Japanese style meal so you don't have to buy all new chairs.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:07
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I asked my husband (engineer) to check them out and he said the chair in best condition can probably hold up to around 305 lbs, the chair in the worst condition can probably hold up to around 265 lbs.
I really, really want to know how he arrived at that number
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Feb 2, 2017 18:10
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I really, really want to know how he arrived at that number
He's not actually sure so he thought giving a non-round number would sound more credible.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:13
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- flick my Mr. Bean
- Nov 18, 2014
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"We actually do the Japanese thing. Everybody find a spot on the floor!"
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Feb 2, 2017 18:14
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I did not know the writer of Transformers 4 was a Canadian.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:14
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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"Yeah sure honey, 243 pounds and not an ounce more, better not invite big Bertha."
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Feb 2, 2017 18:15
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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based on her comments downthread the OP at least is deffo doing some arcane chair math to arrive at her deer-in-the-headlights helplessness at the inevitable doom of fatty smashing up their antiques and destroying their social lives forever
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Feb 2, 2017 18:15
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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my roommate likes dem young hosers
Just tell him you think he's being gross and irresponsible, and maybe suggest that you'd prefer he dick his child somewhere outside the apartment. Beyond that, unless someone is in danger, stay the gently caress out of it.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:15
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- flick my Mr. Bean
- Nov 18, 2014
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He's not actually sure so he thought giving a non-round number would sound more credible.
The chair appears to have a tensile strength of thirty tachyons. That's a rough estimate, of course. I'd have to bring my speculum in to test the net strength.
Also they should ask her how much she weighs and then tell her if it's going to be a problem. Don't jump to conclusions.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:17
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- Moridin920
- Nov 15, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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quote:First, it's legal here. We live in Canada. The age of consent here is a whopping 16. Although this girl is in her junior year of high school, it's perfectly legal for grown, adult men to date her.
"stop telling me it isn't right, it is LEGAL okay?!"
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Feb 2, 2017 18:18
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- Captain Yossarian
- Feb 24, 2011
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All new" Rings of Fire"
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My gf (?f/Pick) won't take me (69 in dog years) to the movies, I'm upset
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Feb 2, 2017 18:19
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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I don't know why searching for "chairs" returns such greatness, but it does.
quote:
Me [21F] with myboyfriend [30m] of 2years, is angry at me for wanting to use his desk chair for the evening, triggered issues he has with being unwilling to compromise and ignores me when he doesn't get his way. Is it possible to get through to him about his communication issues?
u/i_love_moss1y
My relationship with my boyfriend is really one sided, slightly controlling and filled with him projecting insecurities/assumptions onto me. He says he respects me, loves me and supports me but I'm at the point where I can’t believe what he says because his actions prove otherwise.
I had a desk chair at one point. It was comfy and very good quality. Then my boyfriend, we will just call him jack, decided that he would use it as his own when we moved in, I objected often but he would just claim it has his and make a big deal about it. Whatever, it’s just a chair, not willing to start an argument over an intimate object. Jack gains a lot of weight over our relationship which doesn’t bother me but his attitude and mood changed dramatically, which obviously bothered me. From his weight gain and excessive usage of my chair (no job, he sits playing games all day and night) the chair starts breaking and is eventually useless. He blames this on me (???).
So we moved house and I eventually move out because living with him is hard. Now I’m back temporarily while I’m in-between houses. I’ve been here 1 week. He is using a dining chair as a desk chair and for some reason this is the only chair apart from the couches that are in the house.
I’m a full time student and I’m working on a big assignment. I’m sick of sitting uncomfortably in bed or on the couch to write and study so I used his chair for my desk while he was out. When he comes back he says can I have my desk chair back please? To which I say, do you mind if I just use it for tonight, this is a big assignment and I just want to finish it off.
Him: “just do it on the couch.”
Me: “id appreciate just using for the next few hours since I haven’t been able to sit properly for a while since i've been here.”
Him: “……. are you telling that before you came here you had a desk but no chair?”
Me: “no I used one of the dining chairs.” (And before that I had a desk chair which he used and broke!! Didn’t bother to bring that up because I know he wouldn’t be happy about being reminded of it)
Him: “it’s my chair. Find another one.”
Me: “you were just downstairs, are there any chairs there I can use?”
Him: “no I threw them all out.”
Me: “why?”
Him: “I’m getting rid of a bunch of things.”
Me: “there’s tonnes of crap under the house and you decided to get rid of your dining chairs?”
Him: “……. well you’ll have to get a desk chair from somewhere.”
Me: “right now? Why can I just use it tonight?”
Him: “BECAUSE YOU’RE SETTING A PATTERN NOW THIS IS HOW IT’S GOING TO BE EVERY NIGHT!”
Me: “jack you’re making an assumption, I literally just said I’d like to use it for TONIGHT, why isn't that okay?”
Him: “……”
Me: “aren't you just going to play magic the gathering? You don’t really need a chair for that do you?” his computer is right next to his bed.
Him: “…..”
Then he just walks away from me as he closes the door.
So idk what to do about this. Should I just give him the chair back to make him happy? I don’t like the way he spoke to me but I know he won’t acknowledge it or try and see things from my perspective. I feel like it’s an issue because I feel like he is being really unsupportive of me right now. I just don’t know how to get that across to him because he struggles with being able to see situations like this as anything other than “you vs me” instead of thoughts and emotions of two people who disagree on something. He was just so unwilling to find a compromise and try and find a common ground. It’s always his way or cold shoulder for a day/ couple of days.
How can I communicate that sometimes we won’t see eye to eye on everything? He seems to struggle with this concept too, I just want to help him so we can work together on things.
Any advice appreciated
Tl;dr: boyfriend wouldn't let me use a chair for my desk for tonight only, even though he used and broke mine. He Thinks I'm setting a pattern of constantly using his things because of this. I feel like there is some projection or something going on here due to other issues he hasn't voiced but he struggles to communicate and gets defensive way too fast for any rational discussions to occur. Help.
Chaaaaaairs
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Feb 2, 2017 18:19
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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This one is not the chair's fault, but still. Chairs.
quote:
My GF (29F) was proposed to by her disabled friend (28M). She wants to do it but still be with me (28M). I am conflicted.
u/tmtt4y
My GF has made it clear she wants to stay in our relationship, and that she loves me. This person she knows has been her friend since childhood, and he is physically disabled. She has been close to him in a non-sexual way, writing letters and talking online everyday to him for the last two years when he re-established contact.
Wel last month, he proposed to her. She accepted. She told me that she is going to do it and feels so strongly about it and won't change her mind. Ring and everything.
This marriage is going to be just in name, she says they won't actually live together or have any romance or sex. It more of a token than real thing. There are legal aspects of it as well she says are just not a big deal and won't be relevant. I do not want another man telling people she is his. I do not want to be in a polyamorous relationship or for her to eventually invite him to live with us or something like that (if he convinced her to marry him, who knows what else he can convince her of)
I also under no circumstance want to lose her. We have a perfect relationship for almost eight years. She never hinted that she'd want something like this. I even dumped her because of it, because I was hoping that would change her mind but she didn't, she called my bluff. I was such a wreck that I came back to her after one day, she said of course we are still together but she wants to me to meet him to put my mind at ease. Another thing I said is can she just do it for show, have a fake ceremony (she is set on an official marriage ceremony). I said do it for one week and then divorce and she said that's up to him.
I don't think she is cheating, this guy is wheel chair bound and burned. but I wanted to propose to her and I'm scared he might try to game her somehow.
TLDR: She wants to marry her disabled friend in name only, out of pity. She wants to still be with me and is saying I am misunderstanding that it's not a real marriage. I don't want to lose her but I am worried this guy might be manipulating her.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:25
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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This one is not the chair's fault, but still. Chairs.
... huh??
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Feb 2, 2017 18:26
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Oh no judge, you see our marriage was in name only so im not liable for his massive debts.
There are two disabled people in this story and one of them is alive without a spine.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:27
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Well fine, one chair.
I'm just surprised searching for "chair" gets this fuckery.
I know I shouldn't since it's r/relationships, but still.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:29
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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How do I [ 27/M] redeem myself after a possibly creepy comment on a friend's [22/F] photo?
quote:She probably thinks im an incel.
quote:Nah, research the bandwagon effect. People respond better to people who are ppopular. If someone is not popular and alone, people will ignore them...take a psychology class.
quote:Because other females in my social circle will see how I was ignored, and the womankind hivemind will know to automatically fall in line.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:30
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- flick my Mr. Bean
- Nov 18, 2014
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With some of these, I know I'd walk out but there's always that fear I'd be a dumbfuck blinded by love. I can honestly say if my girlfriend tried to marry another guy, I'm completely sure I'd walk out immediately.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:30
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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What the hell? "I'm going torpedo my happy relationship by marrying someone else for show"? Bizarre...
It's like "A Long Walk to Forever" except that in real life there are consequences to lovely loving choices
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Feb 2, 2017 18:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 22:10
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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bzzzz yes sister bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Feb 2, 2017 18:33
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Feb 2, 2017 17:08
in my social group that I'm creepy or a loser. So I need to redeem my social market value