quote:

I've been married to my wife for almost 11 years. We have one child. I'll get straight to the point.

Basically my wife's father... Bob.. just disgusts me. He is extremely fat and walks around without a shirt on constantly. I would say that 70 percent of the time that I visited my wifes parents indoors he has been shirtless. He never showers, smells like death. He has god awful man boobs and has no shame about them. He burps all the time extremely loudly to the point where it is truly startling. They smell horrific. He does this on purpose just to piss people off. He picks his nose and rubs the boogers on tables, carpets, walls etc. Every single time he has visited my house I have discovered boogers all over the place in our guest room. Guess what? I'm the one who has to clean that up.

He also gets very drunk every single Christmas that i have experienced with him. Just as side note, my wife and I have an arrangement where we spend Christmas eve with her parents and Christmas morning with my parents. Usually her parents will have large gathering including aunts uncles cousins nephews nieces grandparents great grandparents etc.

During these gatherings Bob is always shirtless. He has a giant hairy beer belly and like I stated before smells just horrid. He walks around like this in front of everybody including the children and always asks them if they would like to rub his belly. Needless to say the kids are always scared sh!tless and someone always starts crying and a scene of some sort is always made.

Bob gets very drunk during these gatherings/ holiday season in general. while Bob is drunk he flies into uncontrollable rages. A few things he has done during these rages include :

-throwing my expensive gift for him in the garbage can right in front of me and telling me that I am wasteful with my money and that I would lead my wife into a life of debt
-calling every single person in the room a n!gger after someone attempts to cut off his alcohol intake for the rest of the night
-accusing his own 87 year old father of being a pedophile because he wants to see my child
-accusing me of being a pedophile
-accusing his own disabled aunt who is in a wheelchair and can barely move of being an active pedophile and rapist
-purposefully burping in the faces of all of the young children who attend the gathering, including my son, who was literally crying and screaming one time as Bob tried to force a burp into his face until I had to rip my child violently from Bobs death grip
-refusing to eat the meal that was prepared, accusing my grandmother in law of trying to poison him
-pooping on the carpet, first trying to blame it on ME, and then trying to blame it on the dog who was outside all night

So yeah, all of these things have accumulated over the span of 11 years and to say the least I am fed up and to be quite frank the holidays have become a horrific time for me because of this. I cannot even enjoy the little time I have off of my job with my family because I am dreading seeing this man again. I work at a law firm and I deal with some strange things sometimes, but to this day the most disturbed person I have ever encountered is Bob

My wifes whole family brushes over this behavior and tries to make excuses for him, saying that he went to war and has PTSD etc. And you know what, that is sad, I admit that it is sad that this man is suffering from PTSD and has for whatever reason not been given or sought out any sort of help for his problem. But I am sick of hearing that I am supposed to put up with his psychotic behavior because he has PTSD.

My wife Sara makes excuses as well for him, and begs me every year to suck it up and come to the gatherings they throw for the holidays. This year I finally broke down and told her that she could go if she wanted to, but I was staying at home this year, and that she can just tell everyone I'm sick. And it was partly true, because I have been suffering lately with migraine headaches, and they often come out of nowhere. I'm not about to risk the possibility of a migraine coming on as I'm trying to deal with Bobs disturbing behavior.

Sara is very upset with me and continues to try to guilt me Into going to the gathering. To be perfectly honest it is disappointing for me to have my own wife not support me on this... And to act as if she has not witnessed this behavior the past decade. But she is making me feel like I am not being supportive of her and I am starting to feel guilty about my decision.

I guess I am just asking for support here and some advice. Maybe someone can share their in law story too so I feel slightly less alone and pathetic... The prospect of spending part of this holiday season alone without my wife and child truly depresses me. Just makes me feel like a loser. The only enjoyment I get out of this time of year is all the time I get to spend with my family... It really means a lot to me and I want my son to grow up having these memories witb me. Should I just suck it up? Fck I don't even know anymore.

china bot posted:

bonus update: i dumped a jar of spiders down her soon to be ex-husband's rear end in a top hat

Themata posted:

I‘m [25 F] seriously considering breaking up with my boyfriend [25 M] of a year over a video game

I want to break up but I can't. What do?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I missed that update, glad the op was there to save that poor loving kid

as a palate cleanser here's a little story about me and my weiner son in law

My (39M) FIL (66M) is a disgusting, utterly repulsive man whom I have grown to despise over the years. I refuse to suffer through another traumatic holiday with him, wife (37F) is begging me to come with her for the visit this year.

quote:

-pooping on the carpet, first trying to blame it on ME, and then trying to blame it on the dog who was outside all night

Mirthless posted:

honestly I was rolling my eyes at this guy's mostly harmless racist FIL

Gaunab posted:

Nah, his father in law sounds like a disgusting piece of poo poo.

Yawgmoth posted:

Centipedes, on the other hand

quote:

Me [32 M] with my Wife [30 F] of 7 years, have been married almost 7 months and found out she has been making out with a coworker at a bar frequently.

We met 7 years ago on match.com, we have had a rocky yet strong relationship and as far as I know there hasn't been any infidelity until this.

She comes from a white picket fence, white collar family with the perfect marriage. I come from a blue collar family and am a product of divorce. My parents relationship seemed very forced, not a ton of love back and forth. Due to my parents relationship, I never really wanted to get married. I Eventually caved because of the pressure and got engaged.

The week before our (huge) wedding, I got cold feet, I don't think I ever came that close to cancelling it, but my now wife knew and it killed her. I think that it messed with her head, and she uses it as an excuse now as to why she was messing around.

Fast forward seven months, she is texting this effeminate co-worker who has a wife and I never really felt threatened, the guy is a HUGE Mariah Carey fan - I thought it was harmless. They did text a lot, I always figured it was like a work besties type relationship and never thought much of it.

Long story short a friend of a friend caught them making out. My wife and the guy didn't know the friend of a friend so they weren't in the know. I will call the friend of a friend the acquaintance from here on out.

The acquaintance tells our mutual friend, hoping he would say something to me as we are close. My friend wouldn't say anything because he didn't want to gently caress up his impending birthday party (some friend) as well as I don't think he could muster the courage, it is what it is, I don't harbor much resentment to my friend.

Eventually the acquaintance calls me to meet for a beer, I thought he needed help or something....boy was I wrong. Good guy though, I told him I appreciated it.

About a week before anything went down - I thought we had a good talk about our relationship, how I regretted hurting her the week up the the wedding and that I was looking forward to our life together, that it was more my upbringing and anxiety of the 300 person wedding that caused my second thoughts. I was looking forward to trying for a kid soon.

When I found this out, I was hoping that our talk would have stopped any more infidelity, I later found out that they were making out at the same time the acquaintance was telling me what he saw. This happened two days after our talk.

Anyways, I texted her last night that I knew, I stayed at my moms. I am not sure how to move forward on this. I didn't do it in person because I didn't want to overreact as I really don't know if I can stay with her or not yet. I may need a week to process and decide if I want to fight for it.

Any advice would be appreciated. I am pretty broken up. I am a big burly guy in construction - sitting at my desk trying not to cry into my coffee.

Also, if anyone has had this happen and has any advice on who to tell, not being able to share this with anyone is killing me. My friend says he won't tell anyone. I kind of feel like if it gets out, it's over, maybe I should look for a therapist....I don't know..

TLDR: Wife cheated with a co-worker, I am not a saint, what should I do?

EDIT: Typo's and clarity (hopefully)

Edit: I just meant to say that we had up's and down's, rocky was poor wording, the good times vastly outweighed the bad.

ANOTHER EDIT: People are telling me to lawyer up, I am not even sure I am going to ask for a divorce, we rent, we have no kids, and we have a bunch of cash left over from the wedding her dad paid for. We make about the same amount as well. All these factors considered, do you really think I need to lawyer up?

Mak0rz posted:

J's birth family sound like subhuman filth but his soon-to-be-ex-family-in-law seem cool and good and that poster is a saint.

Mirthless posted:

being gross and rude is one of the least intolerable intolerable things an in-law can do

i'm just saying when I hear "dread spending the holidays with my father in law" I'm imagining dad on the lawn with a handgun screaming about some way you slighted him five years ago, not "dude who stinks bad and is rude"

Gaunab posted:

Here's a cheating story to lighten the mood

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

It's always white people who think a family member casually saying 'friend of the family' isn't that bad and should just be ignored

Yawgmoth posted:

If you don't put "making GBS threads on the goddamned floor and then trying to blame it on you" in the highest tier of gently caress No then you must have a really pleasant smelling house.

Mirthless posted:

honestly I was rolling my eyes at this guy's mostly harmless racist FIL and wondering "Why can't this guy just put up with it for a couple of days?" until I saw this:

quote:

that thing he said about the poop

Mirthless posted:

I didn't say that...

Mirthless posted:

mostly harmless racist

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

It's always white people who think a family member casually saying 'friend of the family' isn't that bad and should just be ignored

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

It's always white people who think a family member casually saying 'friend of the family' isn't that bad and should just be ignored

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

It's always white people who think a family member casually saying 'friend of the family' isn't that bad and should just be ignored

Mirthless posted:

I didn't say that...


that... that was literally what I did...????

Yawgmoth posted:

And then immediately downplayed it to "being gross"? Burping is kinda gross. Not washing your clothes/body regularly is gross. making GBS threads on the floor goes beyond gross into "needs to be put in a home" and definitely not "the least intolerable intolerable thing". In fact I would put that as the most intolerable thing, in a tie with getting physically violent and breaking my poo poo.

Mirthless posted:

...To him. Mostly harmless, to him.

Everyone has gross family members with lovely opinions about things. When that person is the father of your wife it's hard to make a big deal of every lovely thing they do.

Yawgmoth posted:

And then immediately downplayed it to "being gross"? Burping is kinda gross. Not washing your clothes/body regularly is gross. making GBS threads on the floor goes beyond gross into "needs to be put in a home" and definitely not "the least intolerable intolerable thing". In fact I would put that as the most intolerable thing, in a tie with getting physically violent and breaking my poo poo.

Pick posted:

I think terrorizing children is worse, which he does.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

eleven years, he's been "not making a big deal" out of the racist odorous floor-shitter for ELEVEN YEARS

Mirthless posted:

if he's not molesting them or hitting them it's not worse than making GBS threads on the floor

Mirthless posted:

And he's going to be the father of his wife for the rest of his life, which probably isn't going to be that much longer since he's old and obese.

quote:

We've been together for a bit over a year. We have a pretty good relationship. We generally stay in, but we go out every now and again. When we just get dinner or any kind of casual outing, she's fine with me wearing whatever shoes I want, but if we go to any kind of formal event she insists that I wear 2" lifts with thick soled shoes.

She's done it 4 times now. The first time she did it was around 9 months ago. We were going to her mothers wedding and she came by my place and she had bought lifts. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time, so I just wore them. The next time was our anniversary. We were going out for a nice dinner and she literally got down on her knees and begged me to put them in my shoes. Pretty much the same thing happened on her birthday. Then last night there was this orchestra that I really wanted to see. I bought the tickets ages ago and I've been really excited for it. I didn't want to wear the lifts, but she refused to leave the apartment unless I put them on. I wanted her to be there with me, so I put them on.

It's so frustrating because it makes me feel like I'm only good enough for her if I'm 3"-4" taller. I'm 5'4 and she's about the same height. But she wants to wear heels all the time and wants me to be taller.

Other than this our relationship is good. I love being with her and laughing with her. I don't know why this matters so much to her. This is my first relationship, so I don't really have a wealth of experience with women. I know that short guys aren't all the rage with the ladies, but is this normal? Like is this what all girls do if they have a short boyfriend? I've talked to her about it but she tells me it's not a big deal, it makes me more attractive and that she wears make-up for me. I wouldn't care if she wore make-up or not - or whether she was taller or not, for that matter.

Mirthless posted:

I didn't downplay anything about the making GBS threads on the floor.

Mirthless posted:

i'm just saying when I hear "dread spending the holidays with my father in law" I'm imagining dad on the lawn with a handgun screaming about some way you slighted him five years ago, not "dude who stinks bad and is rude"

fruit on the bottom posted:

Mirth, I feel like you've been backing the wrong horse a lot lately. What happened that one day that you were totally on point? Were you just exceptionally well-rested or something?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

wasn't expecting that one to start a thread argument but i for one am entirely willing to believe that Bob wouldn't be an exceptional participant around the Mirthless family dinner

My [M19] girlfriend [F20] makes me wear lifts when we go out. Is this something I just have to deal with?

Yawgmoth posted:

So how am I supposed to take this? "stinks bad and is rude" sure looks like minimizing "poo poo on the loving floor and terrorized the kids while being fantastically racist" to me.

Pick posted:

I think terrorizing children is worse, which he does.

quote:

Every single time we go to order a pizza, my sister tries to buy the least amount for £20. Pizza Hut is by far the most value for money, giving two large pizzas for £20, but she always insists, to the point of argument, on going for the Domino's offer of £20 for one large pizza and some dough balls.

It pisses me off to no end. We get into arguments, and then she blames me, saying my attitude to food is "disgusting". It's so loving infuriating. She says, "you can't eat 10 (or so) slices in one sitting. How disgusting!". Obviously I'm not going to eat it in one sitting, but you can make it last in a way you can't with the dominoes. What do I do?

Mirthless posted:

Because I said "I didn't think this guy was that bad until I read he poo poo on the floor" literally one post before that

Just so we're clear: He's clearly awful and intolerable. Worth not wanting to be around. An awful person. A combination of universally terrible traits. My only argument was "I don't think he's necessarily worth burning a familial tie over" and that was literally only up until we found out about him making GBS threads on the floor and it was clear at that point that this isn't just a reddit poster overblowing how terrible somebody is, it's just a uniquely terrible individual.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of one year, he's essentially a walking hurricane

Yawgmoth posted:

So how am I supposed to take this? "stinks bad and is rude" sure looks like minimizing "poo poo on the loving floor and terrorized the kids while being fantastically racist" to me.