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Guy must have a seriously shy bladder
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 17:17 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 09:14 |
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hosed-Up Little Dog posted:Can I confess that I don't know the story of the "pissbitch" in the thread title? What was that about? http://pastebin.com/dXK42SnL quote:I got a real crazy brain. Fortunately it's not violent crazy or sex crazy or liar crazy. It's a crazy that I've lived with my entire life and it basically just manifests itself as absolute utter madness. Otherwise I'm pretty goddamn normal, late 20's, got a salaried job, close with my family, lots of friends and hobbies, active dating and sex life. But when I'm alone and I haven't taken my ADHD medicine the crazy comes out.
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 17:29 |
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When I'm alone in the car sometimes I'll freestyle to the tune of Goldfinger, substituting "Douche Baggins" as the subject of the song.
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 18:24 |
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quote:pissbitch
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 18:38 |
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When I'm alone I sometimes experience existential terror and start screaming until I pass out. I also like old computers. Hit me up on kik
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 18:47 |
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Reduced sex drive guy cut your nuts off
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 18:56 |
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Okay, dreams guy from a few pages back, I'm going to go contrary to popular opinion and say your dreams do mean something. Humans are surprisingly unoriginal and have similar classes of dreams. Naked in front of your school, teeth falling out, etc. being chased is another one of those. It's anxiety about an impending disaster of some kind. You probably know what it is if you think about what it is that you're afraid will happen in your life. Anyway, see a therapist and figure it out.
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 19:56 |
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don't make out with the therapist though I wonder how the date went E: somebody needs to combine and
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 19:58 |
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I got to tell a lady friend unironically to get beefy bitch and it was amazing
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 23:09 |
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quote:There was a recent confession sent in about being married to a hooker and it inspired me to confess the time I got robbed of roughly 2000 dollars by one and her pimp. I saw her ad and she looked too good to be true but I was drunk and horny so I figured what the hell. I always carry a firearm when I go to see hookers just in case. In this case I had a 44 magnum desert eagle. Before the TFR nerds jump on me, it was a purchase I made completely black out drunk and it seemed like a great idea at the time, and I do/did have a concealed carry permit (I am fat so concealing it isn't a huge issue). I would think the lesson is "don't pull the trigger, just point it and they won't know it's not loaded and you can make your escape" but I got yelled at by TFR nerds for saying something like that once because apparently The Conventional Wisdom is that if you have to pull your gun out at all you should shoot center mass immediately, because if you don't purposely shoot someone you might accidentally shoot someone It didn't make sense to me either quote:Whenever I wash my dick in the sink, I like to cup the water in my hands and bring it to the head of my penis and pretend he's having a nice drink. There's something weird about either your dick or your sink
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 23:27 |
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I believe it only because how embarrassing the whole thing is. You wouldn't tell your other gun buddies that story at all.
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 23:34 |
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quote:Whenever I wash my dick in the sink, I like to cup the water in my hands and bring it to the head of my penis and pretend he's having a nice drink. Ah, the ol' thirsty bird.
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 23:36 |
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loquacius posted:I would think the lesson is "don't pull the trigger, just point it and they won't know it's not loaded and you can make your escape" but I got yelled at by TFR nerds for saying something like that once because apparently The Conventional Wisdom is that if you have to pull your gun out at all you should shoot center mass immediately, because if you don't purposely shoot someone you might accidentally shoot someone
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# ? Feb 5, 2017 23:51 |
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I admit that I have lived a soft life with no life or death conflict, but based on what TV and movies have taught me, I think the confessor was probably right in reasoning that the best option was to brandish without pulling the trigger and gtfo of there. Since the aggressor had a knife, a gun is probably about the only thing that would have made him rethink his actions. And killing the man, as he described, leaves him admitting some pretty unflattering stuff to the police, not to mention having to live with knowing he killed a man. I just think it's funny that he got the worst of both worlds and left his attacker super pissed by making an attempt on his life. If that one's true (it's no fun if you don't suspend disbelief a little anyways) that goon really is lucky to be alive
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 00:04 |
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If it is true then the pimp didn't want a dead John on his hands any more than the John wanted a dead pimp on his. But if the pimp had any sort of contact information on the guy, he'd probably put a hit out on him.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 06:27 |
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Police Automaton posted:When I'm alone I sometimes experience existential terror and start screaming until I pass out. I also like old computers. Hit me up on kik
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 07:01 |
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loquacius posted:There was a recent confession sent in about being married to a hooker and it inspired me to confess the time I got robbed of roughly 2000 dollars by one and her pimp. I saw her ad and she looked too good to be true but I was drunk and horny so I figured what the hell. I always carry a firearm when I go to see hookers just in case. In this case I had a 44 magnum desert eagle. Before the TFR nerds jump on me, it was a purchase I made completely black out drunk and it seemed like a great idea at the time, and I do/did have a concealed carry permit (I am fat so concealing it isn't a huge issue). I appreciate that he mentioned that he was fat but he didn't mention that he was also severely retarded so I'm going to have to call bullshit on his CCing a desert eagle. I mean, the rest of the story indicates that he's retarded, but...
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 07:12 |
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I'm imagining this guy who looks like Notch emitting a high pitched shriek and the black guy knocked him out and left to get him to shut up so they wouldn't attract more attention.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 07:36 |
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scrubs season six posted:I appreciate that he mentioned that he was fat but he didn't mention that he was also severely retarded so I'm going to have to call bullshit on his CCing a desert eagle. I don't know gun stuff, is there a reason this is bad apart from the gun being very expensive? quote:I have a weird feeling about our current political circus and don't want to post it anywhere for fear of being looked at as a tin foil hat loony. quote:I was at work when I zoned out and somehow my mind wandered to sexual fantasies. One of then involved coming up behind a woman, tearing her clothes off, and loving fast and hard without any care for her. Dominating a woman like that turned me on immensely and I developed a throbbing erection. If it wasn't the hardest I've ever been, it was drat close. It wasn't a rape fantasy, just dominating a woman who actually enjoyed that type of thing. I'm not even sure how I started thinking like that. It made me feel like I was in charge for once, that I have the power. It felt good in the hosed up space of mind. Or at least some new porn
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:42 |
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hire a hooker
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:45 |
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quote:My dad immediately fired her because how the hell can you do anything else in that situation. She fully admitted to it and he ended up getting a different lunch lady to cover the shifts as a temp while a new FT person was hired.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:51 |
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Anne Whateley posted:Yeah your dad was totally helpless, his hands were tied, he couldn't have done anything else such as . . . figuring out reasonable accommodations for an employee with a disability. He couldn't even have had a conversation about adult diapers or anything. It's a two-way street, the lunchlady also should have figured out some intermediary steps between "having trouble getting to the bathroom" and "regularly peeing in a can while serving people food"
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:55 |
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no, actually, pissing in a public food prep area for years is a pretty good reason to fire someone
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:55 |
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food court bailiff posted:no, actually, pissing in a public food prep area for years is a pretty good reason to fire someone I assume you regularly see cases like this. You should start an A/T thread.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:59 |
Hey Trump conspiracy dude: he's been talking about the immigration ban for literally years, I doubt he's had that much forewarning of an attack that would happen specifically in the first 90 days after inauguration of ~whoever~.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:29 |
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loquacius posted:It's a two-way street, the lunchlady also should have figured out some intermediary steps between "having trouble getting to the bathroom" and "regularly peeing in a can while serving people food"
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:37 |
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While that conspiracy theory (like most of them) could theoretically true, it's far simpler and there's far more evidence that Trump is just a racist and did it just because he's wanted to do it for so long. If there was truly a terrorist threat that this would have been a solution for I'm sure they'd have handled it far better/more covertly so it wouldn't get almost immediately overturned.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:41 |
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loquacius posted:I don't know gun stuff, is there a reason this is bad apart from the gun being very expensive? I'm amazed no one from TFR has jumped on this yet. It's large, impractical, expensive, and sold almost exclusively to people who've seen one in an action movie, or people who've dual wielded them in a computer game.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:46 |
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Torquemada posted:
I'm no TFR goon but I would think in addition to that a bullet that big would probably go through the guy and the next couple of walls, so even if the police ruled that situation self defense the confessor would probably still get charged with reckless endangerment or whatever charge I can't remember from law & order in similar situations. There's not really a valid self-defense reason I can think of for needing a gun that powerful (e: unless you regularly encounter large bears or something) and the public is probably safer with it out of the fat hooker goon's hands.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:51 |
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loquacius posted:For the past 7ish years I've looked for ways to reduce my sex drive. It's not particularly high but I would much rather spend the energy on my hobbies or work. Spending 10 hours a week jacking off is a huge waste of time and I could really use the sleep. I don't know why but I am loving crying laughing at these 2 sentences, bravo!
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:08 |
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Yo, loq, I've been having a hard time searching the archives. So it's not just you.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:35 |
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bradzilla posted:I don't know why but I am loving crying laughing at these 2 sentences, bravo! I love the idea of someone jacking off for ten hours a week. I picture two hours a day of solid jacking off on weekdays, and he takes the weekends off.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:40 |
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Anne Whateley posted:Yeah absolutely, but if he's firing people for poor judgment and general grossness, how the gently caress do you keep the janitor The janitor doesn't handle food being served to people, and janitors have to clean up other people's pee all the time anyway, but yeah he should at least get chewed out for just plain not telling anyone about this for years yeah I eat rear end posted:While that conspiracy theory (like most of them) could theoretically true, it's far simpler and there's far more evidence that Trump is just a racist and did it just because he's wanted to do it for so long. If there was truly a terrorist threat that this would have been a solution for I'm sure they'd have handled it far better/more covertly so it wouldn't get almost immediately overturned. It would also be 100% in Trump's favor politically to publicize any evidence of terror attacks as much as he possibly can. He'd be able to get away with pulling totalitarian bullshit much more easily (see: Patriot Act) and it would silence dissent and get the country's attention away from him being a petty tyrant. He gains nothing from keeping it secret and doubling down on "no, I'm just a white nationalist" apart from the continued support of white nationalists, and he'd have to be caught on camera making out with Al Sharpton to lose their votes anyway. Also: LOL at the idea of Trump listening to intelligence briefings Speleothing posted:Yo, loq, I've been having a hard time searching the archives. So it's not just you. Yeah, the new forums search works great but only for threads up to a certain age. I blame radium.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:41 |
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Pissbitch strikes again
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:45 |
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That's THE jingle bell
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:29 |
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quote:I have a secret closet in my house I don't let anybody know about. It's filled with females' socks that I collect. Some from the gym, some from work, and a few are those thin panty hose like socks at the shoe stores. Those are my favorite but it's rare that someone uses them and puts them back. You've gotta sniff good to be sure and sometimes they kick you out for doing that. we've had foot fetishists ITT before that literally steal children's shoes, this is kinda weak by comparison, but for the record I once again just plain don't get the concept of sweat-smell-based fetishes quote:I hate my daughter. Obviously I don't tell anyone that, least of all her, but it's true. I truly hate my daughter. It's hosed-up what your wife did, but seek counseling if it's causing you to resent your daughter. She didn't do anything and she deserves better.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:36 |
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Way better. There is a big difference between "my toddler is really loving annoying right now, but I still love her unconditionally" and "I wish my daughter didn't exist". Sounds like you need to get some therapy dude, because you've probably been blanking your daughter for your wife's death as opposed to just grieving normally.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:48 |
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What happened to your wife is really sad, and honestly breaks my heart hearing about it. But you need to be there for your daughter. No matter what. Your wife's mental problems aren't your daughters fault. Get therapy please.
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:36 |
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Similar but different: my ex-wife and I had a second child when we shouldn't have. We never had a solid foundation and money was tight, but she wanted a second child so we did. This only exasperated the financial issues, which did improve, but the damage was already done and we ended up getting divorced. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like now if we never had her and it makes me sad to think that because she's the sweetest most lovable child I've ever met. It's not my daughters fault her parents made a bad decision and it's not your daughters fault either (or yours for that matter). hth
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:51 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 09:14 |
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you got divorced
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# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:13 |