King of the Hill

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > King of the Hill

Junk: Dec 20, 2003; Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?

Cobweb Heart posted:

If Dale actually thought he had been cuckolded for so long and nobody on his list of trustables said a word, it would destroy him. Like, in a "break down and leave forever" sort of way if he were a real human being, and it destroys the big, best joke of his character - that the archetype of paranoia can't suspect the one thing he should. I've never gotten the people who wanted him to find out. It certainly wouldn't be funny.

This gets floated a lot, and it makes the ridiculous blatancy make sense in the context of the show, but Dale and Nancy approach the topic in private several times and he definitely does not know. Yeah, it's not that realistic, but if he knew it why was he fine with John loving his wife all the time?

This and also when he says "John Redcorn's gay and I've been friends with him for years"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 06:50

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# ? May 12, 2024 06:44

TrustmeImLegit: Jan 14, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Gaunab posted:

Hank wasn't that great of a player.

Excuse me he went to State.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:17

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Dale has a p good situation

Nancy supports the family so Dale gets to spend all his free time on his hobbies and the occasional extermination job

I'd be willing to take that set-up even if it meant getting cucked

# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:20

secular woods sex: Aug 1, 2000; I dispense wisdom by the gallon.

TrustmeImLegit posted:

Excuse me he went to State.

Yeah, but he was carried there on the back of the BILLDOZER

# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:38

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Ein cooler Typ posted:

Dale has a p good situation

Nancy supports the family so Dale gets to spend all his free time on his hobbies and the occasional extermination job

I'd be willing to take that set-up even if it meant getting cucked

Hey, Dale pays the cable bill thank you very much

# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:41

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Cobweb Heart posted:

Yeah, it's not that realistic, but if he knew it why was he fine with John loving his wife all the time?

You know that cuckolding is a legit real fetish, right? Like it was only turned into an insult fairly recently, and there are dudes that legit get off to the act of other men loving their wives.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 14:54

Smiling Mandrill: Jan 19, 2015

Hotdog In A Hallway posted:

Yeah, but he was carried there on the back of the BILLDOZER

Truth. I love the flashbacks of Bill as a stone cold studd with a lions mane on his head.

Hank's 40 time was pretty bad. He ran a 5.9 as a running back. To give perspective that is slower than everyone in the NFL combine including 300+ lb linemen most of whom smoke Hanks time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXgHP7K6aE

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:03

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Take a salt tablet.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:18

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Smiling Mandrill posted:

Truth. I love the flashbacks of Bill as a stone cold studd with a lions mane on his head.

Hank's 40 time was pretty bad. He ran a 5.9 as a running back. To give perspective that is slower than everyone in the NFL combine including 300+ lb linemen most of whom smoke Hanks time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXgHP7K6aE

Man, having a narrow urethra must suck. Like... do you feel constantly 'backed up' when you're peeing or cumming?

Why am I thinking of Hank's junk? :psyduck:

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:31

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Who What Now posted:

You know that cuckolding is a legit real fetish, right? Like it was only turned into an insult fairly recently, and there are dudes that legit get off to the act of other men loving their wives.

Un, it's been an insult for like literally forever dude.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:42

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

I ain't got a narrow ureety. He gets that from his mother. Mine's so drat wide, I could pass the child myself if I had to!

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:45

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Smiling Mandrill posted:

Truth. I love the flashbacks of Bill as a stone cold studd with a lions mane on his head.

Hank's 40 time was pretty bad. He ran a 5.9 as a running back. To give perspective that is slower than everyone in the NFL combine including 300+ lb linemen most of whom smoke Hanks time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXgHP7K6aE

I have no idea how good 40 in 5.9 is but comparing highschoolers to nfl players is a little unfair

underage at the vape shop fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Feb 6, 2017

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:48

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

If it wasn't for his narrow Ureety, Hank would have thrived in the military, even if it's a non combat spot.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 15:50

The Muppets On PCP: Nov 13, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Smiling Mandrill posted:

Truth. I love the flashbacks of Bill as a stone cold studd with a lions mane on his head.

Hank's 40 time was pretty bad. He ran a 5.9 as a running back. To give perspective that is slower than everyone in the NFL combine including 300+ lb linemen most of whom smoke Hanks time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXgHP7K6aE

hank played high school football back in the 70s

# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:48

weak wrists big dick: Dec 18, 2012; good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.

your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]

"I don't take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?"

"Good God, Hank! You're wearing butt-boobies!"

And, who could forget,

"I killed fity men!"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:51

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

weak wrists big dick posted:

"I don't take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?"

"Good God, Hank! You're wearing butt-boobies!"

And, who could forget,

"I killed fity men!"

I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty!

# ? Feb 6, 2017 16:52

Smiling Mandrill: Jan 19, 2015

The Muppets On PCP posted:

hank played high school football back in the 70s

A 5.9 40 would be a lovely time for a college level running back in the 1940s. Most running backs in the 70s were putting up average 4.5 40 times. Elite guys like Earl Campbell, and OJ wee running sub 4.5. What I'm saying is Hank wouldn't have been playing college football even if he hadn't hurt his ankle celebrating in the championship.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 17:57

unpleasantly turgid: Jul 6, 2016; u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

Who What Now posted:

You know that cuckolding is a legit real fetish, right? Like it was only turned into an insult fairly recently, and there are dudes that legit get off to the act of other men loving their wives.

sex has always been used as a theme for insults. using "cuck" as an insult is not as new as you'd suspect. In fact, I think Winston Churchill referred to Teddy Roosevelt as a cuck.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 18:17

Blue Raider: Sep 2, 2006

unpleasantly turgid posted:

sex has always been used as a theme for insults. using "cuck" as an insult is not as new as you'd suspect. In fact, I think Winston Churchill referred to Teddy Roosevelt as a cuck.

Shakespeare got a lot of mileage out of it as an insult too

# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:08

King Possum III: Feb 15, 2016

Take off your top!

# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:23

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

I've been known to give a woman amneseey

# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:34

JIZZ DENOUEMENT: Oct 3, 2012; STRIKE!

When is Hank's 40 time revealed?

I must watch this episode on repeat.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:42

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

I love when two old rear end war vets beat the poo poo out of an entire house of insufferable super-liberal brats.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A NAZZZZZZIIIIII??!??!?!?!

:headbutt:

"Let's roll, Topsy! :bahgawd:

# ? Feb 6, 2017 19:48

ANUSTART: Jun 26, 2013; ur jiri3-pax(PAD)-ra2 al-tukur2?-re
gu-du-ni an-na-ab-be2
a-ra-/ab-gig-ga\-[(X)]-e-ce

- Wisdom of the ages.

This tastes like turtles

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:20

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

i spun it too hard

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:24

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

If you're from the South, Peggy is easy to hate as you certainly had one friend who's mom or lady at church or even school teacher was pretty much Peggy IRL. Hyper self-important, incredibly naive and extremely stubborn when confronted with any negative feedback. But she's shown as being loving and human despite these things in the show and honestly came off as a nice enough person

Until she tried to gently caress over Lucky, from then on I just wanted to see her rot, as Lucky is easily the best "new addition" any show has gotten until It's Always Sunny picked up Danny DeVito

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:39

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Lucky owns

"you worked on the state oil rig, or the federal?"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:50

Smiling Mandrill: Jan 19, 2015

The world is cruel to shiny things.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:51

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

Nooner posted:

Lucky owns

"you worked on the state oil rig, or the federal?"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 20:57

DapperDraculaDeer: Aug 4, 2007; Shut up, Nick! You're not Twilight.

Nooner posted:

Lucky owns

"you worked on the state oil rig, or the federal?"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:15

Koaxke: Jan 18, 2009

Nooner posted:

Lucky owns

"you worked on the state oil rig, or the federal?"

# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:19

IncredibleIgloo: Feb 17, 2011

# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:32

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

IncredibleIgloo posted:

# ? Feb 6, 2017 21:46

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Nooner posted:

Lucky owns

"you worked on the state oil rig, or the federal?"

Bobby, I'm gonna help you run down that dream.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 22:09

Stick Figure Mafia: Dec 11, 2004

haljordan posted:

Hey, Dale pays the cable bill thank you very much

I thought he stole Hank's cable.
That's why Bobby couldn't watch Datona at Joseph's. Hank blocked Fox.

# ? Feb 6, 2017 22:12

The Archaic: Jul 6, 2003; Are you a consultant archaeologist in North America?

Unionize today!

PM me and ask me how your future can be history!

Hank with no rear end episode was great because it gave us one my favourite Dale lines: "Wait I can still beat Hank, that's even better than winning!"