Ride The Gravitron posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86URGgqONvA

Khorne posted:

If you don't have kids as the only child your family line ends with you.

quote:

Hey all. This is kind of a really dumb issue, I don't know if it will merit any responses.

My boyfriend and I are huge gamers, we play tons of games together. He has more recently been playing with only his online friends and not making time for me. So tonight he said he wanted to have an 'Us night' where we ordered some pizza and played games together.

The pizza was great and all, and we went to play Overwatch and he asked if we could play with his friends. I just wanted us to play together, so we started to play just us two. I'm not bad at this game, in fact I am ranked much higher than him. Within two games (so maybe 20 minutes?) he was hitting his desk and shouting, saying that it sucks to play with only two people in a 6v6 game. I immediately got kind of depressed and took a minute to sit in the other room. When I came back visibly depressed, he got upset that he has to play with someone who is 'always sad'. It really hurt, I have clinical depression and anxiety and take a heavy load of pills for it.

We went into the 3 vs 3 gamemode and every mistake I made he criticized me for it, I just wanted to have fun with my boyfriend. When he criticized me for the millionth time, I shut off the game and said I did not want to play anymore. He said that he would just play with his online friends. I asked him if we could try and talk about his behaviour, and he shut down and said he was going to bed. So now I am going to be sleeping on the couch in depression and anger, and he doesn't give a gently caress I guess. What do I do in this situation?

tl;dr: Boyfriend gets upset at video game, insults my depression, then leaves for bed when I try to talk to out with him. What do I do?

Fullhouse posted:

modern society isn't a Crusader Kings game, it doesn't matter

Khorne posted:

If you don't have kids as the only child your family line ends with you.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Way to marginalize adoption. I'd rather someone not have kids than end up with an accident nobody wants or has capability to care for in the foster system.

quote:

my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
by Alison Green on January 30, 2017

A reader writes:

My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.

He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.

One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.

Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?

quote:

Ugh, your boss is a horrible sleazebag.

I hate that he’s compelling you to participate in his deception … not to mention sending you to massage parlors to deal with his tab (!). And he tried telling you it was a strip club, as if that was somehow going to make it okay to send you there?! He’s weirdly shameless about all of this.

As for whether you should anonymously out him to his wife or not … I don’t know. Without knowing her, neither of us can know whether she’s someone who would want to get that tip-off, or whether she’s someone who would be happier never hearing about it, especially while she’s in the midst of a health crisis. There are people in that second category, strange as it can sound to people in the first category. Ultimately, since you can’t know that and this is your boss, I’d err on the side of staying out of that piece of it. (On the other hand, this is all primed to blow up in her face, especially since he’s now apparently fathered a baby she presumably doesn’t know about. So … ugh.)

However, I do think that you can tell him that you don’t want to be involved in this anymore — that you’re not comfortable lying to his wife, visiting adult businesses on his behalf, or buying gifts for women who aren’t his wife.

There’s potentially some risk to your job if you do this, depending on how your boss reacts to this. (Some sleazebags would accept hearing this, although with one this shameless, who knows.) But if your boss isn’t the owner of the company, talking to HR — or his boss directly, if the company is to small to have truly functioning HR — before you talk to your boss himself could provide you with some protection if he does try to retaliate against you for opting out of his philandering.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Khorne posted:

If you don't have kids as the only child your family line ends with you.

Psycho Society posted:

That's the most wishy washy bullshit reply I've ever seen. Either blow that poo poo sky high and get a new job or chill out, going to HR is only going to get you fired.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Can someone repost the Pete story

LethalGeek posted:

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months - we broke up after I booked tickets to go on a trip with an ex from ancient history, who is more of a best-friend.Relationships

Did I screw up?

So, I (f/25) have been seeing my boyfriend, Pete (m/30) for 6 months and its been wonderful. I really thought I'd found "the one" with him, but after last night I feel my world has collapsed and am not sure I've made the right decisions or if I was right. My heart feels like its been pulled out of my chest and I can't sleep. I'd never felt like this about anyone before.

My good friend, who we'll call Dave, was my boyfriend from the age of 18 to 21, after which we broke up because we wanted different things in life. We stayed good friends though because we had a great friendship and had been through so much together. He lives in a different country at the moment but we still talk semi-regularly online and in Whatsapp. Pete knew that Dave was a friend of mine but didn't know he was an ex until about 2 weeks ago, when Dave asked me to visit him in Amsterdam while he's on a work trip (I live in the UK, he lives in Italy). I had already agreed and booked a ticket before I told Pete - they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it. I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me!

I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye."
Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.
I tried to call him after, but he just texted me some bullshit about how this was for the best and that he wished me no ill will and hopes I'll be happy. He turned his phone off after whilst I bombarded him with texts and voicemails.

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.
Now I've lost someone I love and my best friend - who I was only interested in as friends - has a different motive to me for meeting up. I feel like I've lost my partner and I've lost a best friend at the same time.

I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?

tl;dr:
Booked tickets to visit best friend. Got dumped because he was an ex. Did I just dodge a huge bullet...or did he?
EDIT: OK I KNOW I hosed UP. What should I do?

ArbitraryC posted:

As awesome as pete's story is I do find it kind of sad how common it is for people to latch onto progressive topics and language to be manipulative shitstains. "I'm not getting my way, you are abusive and controlling"

quote:

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam. 

quote:

•

I [24f] have a roommate [24m] on the autism spectrum, how do i help him learn to adult without being overbearing?[new]

submitted an hour ago by Erin_woah

I just moved into a house with a friend and some roomies. I have known all of them for a while before living with them.

One roomie, "Mike", is on the autism spectrum. He came to live in the house about a month before me. My friend that rents the house took Mike in because he had an abusive stepfather that was taking advantage of him. In the two months Mike has been living here, he has changed from a quiet and withdrawn person to actually having conversations with us and interacting.

Mike has had a VERY hard life and has been on the streets numerous times in the past. He hasn't had a normal home life ever. All in all, he's a good dude but ue definitely has a hard time relating to people and following conversations. He is a bit slow.

Now for the issues: -Mike gets a few hundred dollars in disability each month. He pays his rent but then ends up blowing the rest almost immediately. He doesn't have a job and, honestly, I can't think of many positions that he would even be suited for. This is the first time he has ever had control of his finances, his stepfather controlled his money previously and Mike was only allotted about 30 dollars a month.

-He has to be reminded to bathe every 3 days or so. If no one reminded him, he could go for weeks. I'm not quite sure he even knows how to bathe himself properly. His hair, even after showering, is stringy and greasy.

-Mike seems to rely on alcohol a lot. Most of his money is spent on liquor or beer.

-He doesn't know how to do many basic chores or things like cooking.

I don't want to become "mom" but this guy needs some help. He hasn't asked for help but probably wouldn't ask even if he wanted it. How do I guide him without being overbearing/condescending? How do I even introduce these things as problems to him?

TL;DR: Autistic roomie needs guidance on how to be an adult. How do I help without being overbearing or becoming "mom"?

Streak posted:

Guy owns so hard I'm worried it's a fake story.

quote:

I was at my boyfriends house yesterday, and I knew his little brother was over, but I thought that he was in his room playing video games (like he always does and was doing when I came over). My boyfriend has insinuated that he wanted to get frisky with me while we were eating, so I decided to take a shower and get all sexy for him.

Well I took a shower in his bathroom, and I was all cleaned up when I heard him in his room. Thinking his brother was busy and wanting to be a little spontaneous, I decided that I would bend over and back into the door opening it, showing off my rear end to my boyfriend (he absolutely loves my butt).

So I was completely naked, and I had positioned my legs so that he could see inside them (I also did some shaving between my cheeks in the shower so that I was completely pristine back there for him). I thought I would be funny and said that I couldn't find my glasses (I don't even have glasses) and kept backing out of the room towards him with my cheeks spread for him. Surprised that he hadn't said a word or came up to touch me, I shook my butt a little and told him to stop fooling around and to touch me. And when my boyfriend touches my butt, he doesn't play games, he grabs it like he owns it. But all I felt was a finger touch my butthole. It felt incredibly small and I whipped around to look at him.

That's when I realized it wasn't my boyfriend in his room, it was his little brother. I may add now that the kid is 12 years old. His mouth was gaping and his eyes were bigger than his head, and he had just touched my butthole. I almost screamed but I covered my mouth, and I told him that I thought he was his brother and he smiled big and said that he knew. I then made the stupid decision to try to keep this whole thing a secret, and told him to never tell his brother. I quickly went back to the bathroom, put my clothes on, and went to the living room where my boyfriend was, watching TV and eating corn chips.

I acted like nothing was wrong and we cuddled for a while, and at the end of the night I told him I wasn't feeling it, so we just slept without anything extra. In the morning I left kinda quickly, still shocked about what had happened. I saw his brother while I was leaving and put a finger on my mouth, trying to make sure he kept what happened between us.

Then at work, I get a call from my boyfriend. He's livid, asking me what the actual gently caress was wrong with me. As it turns out, his brother told him that I stuck my rear end in his face and told him to touch my butthole, so he did. I don't know why the kid decided to tell him but he did. I excused myself to the bathroom for the rest of the call, which was basically him just screaming at me for coming onto his little brother. I explained how I thought it was him, but he wasn't buying it. He told me that if it was a mistake that I should've told him immediately, but the fact that I didn't made him believe I had other intentions. He then told me that he didn't want to see my face anywhere around him or his little brother ever again, and that we were done. 2 1/2 years of us being together and now it's all over.

I sat in the bathroom and cried for a solid half hour, and told my boss I felt sick and went home. I tried calling him multiple times to no avail. In the end it is my fault; I didn't come clean to him and explain the situation and I betrayed his trust.

TL;DR: I accidentally stuck my naked butt in front of my boyfriend's 12 year old brother, he touched me and I tried to keep it a secret, and he told my boyfriend and we are now done.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Wow. Way to pick the absolute dumbest choice at every juncture.

Psycho Society posted:

I'm not sure why she thought a 12 year old wouldn't tell anyone. But to be honest I wouldn't really buy the "I backed out of the bathroom bent over shoving my butt all over the place" thing either. What a strange individual

quote:

That little brothers gonna keep that in his spank bank for a looooong time

quote:

I have a wonderful girlfriend named Erica that I've been with for 5 months. We fell head over heels in love with each other pretty much immediately and I can honestly say I've never cared for someone this much. We have arguments occasionally, but we are always open and honest and work through it. Unfortunately, she has recently caught my being dishonest, doesn't know what to believe, and is currently giving me a sort of silent treatment that is seriously worrying me.

So this Thursday my girlfriend worked 1 to 10 and and I had the day off, perfect opportunity to invite my buddies, Josh and Gordon, over to my place for Thursday night football. They come over at around 5pm and we have beers, smoke some weed, watch the game, and they leave around 8pm when its clear Baltimore is gonna win. So I'm on my couch reading reddit and eventually come across a thread on prostate stimulation. It sounds interesting, and in a move totally unlike me, decide to try it out. My girlfriend and I have discussed this subject, and I've always been apprehensive, thinking I wouldn't really like it, but in my buzz I kept thinking "what if I do?"

So I fire up some porn on my ipad and start to "prepare" myself. At first I was just rubbing a condom on my fingers/butthole but about halfway through I remember I had a free sample of lube from a condom box and went to find that. I ended up using the whole sample, and things were quite slippery when I was done.

So by the time this is over its like 9:00. I clean up as best I can, and then kind of try to watch TV and forget about it because I didn't find my prostate and didn't like it at all. I check my phone and realize my girlfriend texted me while on her 15 minute break and I missed it, which almost never happens. When she texts me again at 10 when shes off, I tell her after Josh and Gordon left I fell asleep for a little after due to the alcohol/weed. White lie that was a mistake.

So shes texting me as shes leaving work and she suggests coming over to my place to watch some netflix and cuddle. I wasn't expecting it since she was saying during her lunch that her head hurt and she just wanted to go home and sleep, but I tell her of course she can come over.

She comes over and everything is normal, shes telling me about her day, I tell her about mine. Eventually things get intimate and she starts to go down on me. Pretty much right away she notices the residual lube and asks why I have lube on my penis. I tell her I tried this lube sample to jerk it earlier and she believes me, but doesnt continue with the sex, instead getting up to use the restroom. She comes back visibly upset because in the bathroom she saw the discarded condom/wrapper in the trash. She comes back and says she can see whats going on, that she can taste liquor on my breath, I missed her texts while she was on break and its because something shady is going on and I kind of freeze up. She then asks if I'm lying and I tell her yes I am, but it's not what it looks like, I got drunk and curious and tried to massage my prostate.

She's completely shocked, and tells me theres no way I would do that, that I'm not interested in that, and that I'm still lying. I plead with her, point out that the condom wasn't "used", that she could text Josh and Gordon and confirm they were here most of the night, and the fact that its so unlike me is the reason I lied and said I slept through her last break instead of telling her I missed her text because I was fingering my butt. She takes a minute kind of processing stuff in silent, then says she doesn't really know what to believe because the only for sure thing about the whole situation is that I was dishonest at some point. I tell her again I'm telling the truth, and decide to go through the whole story again. She goes back to silent mode, and just seems kind of disgusted by me. She can't even look at me and says something like "what kind of person does that? you can be obsessed and weird about sex." and I respond with "what do you mean?" "where is this coming from?", etc., but she gives me more silent treatment before telling me shes going home.

When she gets home she texts me that she made it home safely per usual, and I apologize again and tel her good night and that I love her. She responds with "Yep. Goodnight. I'm sure you'll have fun by yourself tonight."

And now I'm just feeling hurt. I feel like such a gross and lovely person for lying but know I feel like she believes me and she's just trying to shame me for exploring my body as well. Is she lashing out because I was being dishonest? Or am I right to be hurt? My worst thought right now is that she is close minded and if I ever want to explore things in the bedroom she'll shoot it down so I should just get out anyway, but I really do love her and don't want this to end. I know I lied but I'm very vulnerable and I'm just getting treated like a total scumbag, even though I was when I lied I guess. I tried texting her a few more times since I know she isn't sleeping (instagram activity) but got no response.

I just don't know what to do. Should I leave her alone for a while? Try to discuss how lovely I'm feeling? Or is that bad because she's the one who should be hurt? Ugh.

TLDR:
I decided to try to find my prostate, didn't tell my girlfriend, she noticed lube everywhere and knew I was dishonest. Now I'm seeing a kind of ugly side to her and feeling hurt even though it is my fault

Hot Stunt posted:

I [25m] experimented with fingering my butt, got caught in a lie, and now I'm starting to get angry at my girlfriend [24f].

Antivehicular posted:

I want this guy to get together with Backing Up Bent Over Lady and have completely inadvisable butt-based adventures

Antivehicular posted:

I want this guy to get together with Backing Up Bent Over Lady and have completely inadvisable butt-based adventures

quote:

History: I'm a YA author with a USA today bestseller under my belt as well as a few awards under my name. My books are popular, but not crazy popular. I have a lot of friends in the community, which is one of the best communities online.

I met Phil when we were taking night classes together and we ended up being partnered in a project. He's always been kind of iffy on my career, since he considers himself to be a smart guy, above a lot of things, etc. I can usually put up with it because he's never douchey about the stuff he thinks.

When we were moving, and I was off for a series of conferences (I'd paid my half of the moving costs, etc, but he stayed behind to take care of the physical stuff with him and some friends), he took it apon himself to package up several boxes worth of my books and drop them off at Goodwill. I didn't know about this until about two weeks later, when I returned. He'd already had the chance to unpack a lot of what we had, and between us we easily own 2,000 books, which may not be the biggest library, but it's a nice one.

I realized some of the books were missing and asked if he had just not unpacked them because he didn't know how I'd like to organize them. He said no, he took them to donate because they were all "children's books" and he didn't want to look at our library and see so many "braindead" books and "whiny teenager" books. He is one of those people who gets upset about adults reading YA, or even teenagers sometimes because it's not what he personally prefers.

Some of the books he donated were gifts from other authors, advanced copies, things like that. I'm extremely angry, but I don't even know what to do about it. I called the place he dropped them off at, but they have already been processed and are in their retail stores now.

What should I do here?

tl;dr: While I was out of town, my boyfriend donated a bunch of my YA/kidlit books. He claims it was because he didn't want them in our library. I have no idea how to handle this, and there is no way to get them back. What do I do?