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Listen huggybear I too am very much against smashing the patriarchy and I mean this in the least offensive way possible but did you hit your head and it made you retarded or something
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Feb 8, 2017 23:29
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Ouhei posted:So do you not think she violated Pete's trust when she hid the fact that she was in a relationship with the guy for a period of time instead of being honest about their past? Or maybe that she booked a trip with said person she was dishonest about in the past without talking to him about it? Yeah, she made some errors in communication, and she sought out advice, too. She's just a kid (again iirc). She was right to set a boundary regarding control, absolutely. Does that mean he is incapable of saying "this bothered me and now bothers me more. Can we talk it out?" That's called communication - setting his own boundaries is negotiation. "I don't feel comfortable with you two sharing a room." Etc. His reaction is so melodramatically stoic and manly, it's loving ridiculous. She just sounds like an innocent if goofy kid experiencing the well-guarded, groomed, crafted patriarchal conditioning of male jealousy for the first time. e: it's obvious I triggered some emotional responses; it's called empathy. Huggybear fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Feb 8, 2017 |
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Feb 8, 2017 23:32
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Just so you all know, I, for one, am very glad Huggybear is so trusting of their SO. 
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Feb 8, 2017 23:34
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food court bailiff posted:Just so you all know, I, for one, am very glad Huggybear is so trusting of their SO. berth ell pup
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Feb 8, 2017 23:34
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Good troll IMO, hit right in the thread's weak spot. For the record, if your partner ever announces they've booked a holiday trip with their ex without ever telling you because you weren't invited and you're sitting around going 'well they might not be cheating' then you're a huge idiot and a little bitch and  at you.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:35
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Huggybear posted:oh no omg someone disagreed with the majority response to this gossip girl drama and its hilariously disproportionate response. I enjoy this thread but not the collective vilification and slut shaming of pretty much every woman who has relationship issues due to guy friends, ex-boyfriends who are friends, and even having sex (gasp!) with another person. So my admittedly melodramatic response is also in response to that generally. It's annoying. Women are allowed to gently caress other people even in a committed relationship and there is no need to judge them as harshly as they are here, let alone that fecal cesspit that is Reddit. I'm not some polyamorous unicorn warrior either, I just believe that trust and heck, imagine forgiveness are part of the spectrum of a non-patriarchal response to a pretty carnal/primal/not that big of a deal mistake. lol Mirthless posted:All I'm reading here is "it's abuse to refuse an open relationship", and gently caress you. I support people living in whatever kind of relationship they want but stop trying to make poly the standard People are allowed to have boundaries in a relationship and you're not entitled to both date somebody who prefers exclusive partners, and gently caress whoever you want. It's not abuse to leave your partner when they tell you they're not interested in monogamy anymore.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:37
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lazorexplosion posted:Good troll IMO, hit right in the thread's weak spot. I feel strangely vindicated.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:38
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Feb 8, 2017 23:39
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Huggybear posted:Yeah, she made some errors in communication, and she sought out advice, too. She's just a kid (again iirc). She was right to set a boundary regarding control, absolutely. Does that mean he is incapable of saying "this bothered me and now bothers me more. Can we talk it out?" That's called communication - setting his own boundaries is negotiation. "I don't feel comfortable with you two sharing a room." Etc. His reaction is so melodramatically stoic and manly, it's loving ridiculous. She just sounds like an innocent if goofy kid experiencing the well-guarded, groomed, crafted patriarchal conditioning of male jealousy for the first time. you dense motherfucker quote:He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it. I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it. She didn't even give him an opportunity to communicate. She shut down all conversation on the subject immediately. "You can't tell me what to do, you can't change my mind, and if you disagree you're an abuser"
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Feb 8, 2017 23:42
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Mirthless posted:lol You're all so grumpy, haha. I'm not poly. In my experience, that only works if you turn it on and off once in a while. I don't care what people do or who fucks whom, and I am not going to get personal and try to make my relationship a platonic paragon of communication and trust (which it is) /\/\ chill. She regretted drawing those boundaries, which are acceptable boundaries, and he failed to originally respond. It's all there. Huggybear fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Feb 8, 2017 |
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Feb 8, 2017 23:43
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I mean the story does sound a little fake tbqh. Especially because there is a subreddit solely dedicated to stories of   getting their comeuppance
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Feb 8, 2017 23:44
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Huggybear posted:You're all so grumpy, haha.   "well, guys, I'm not monogamous in my relationships and my partners are free to gently caress whoever they want but I'm totally not poly"
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Feb 8, 2017 23:45
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Hey bae I booked a trip to Amsterdam. What? No you can't come, I'm going with Amelia. Huh? Yeah that Amelia. So what if we used to date? Oh well we're probably just gonna you know, smoke some weed find some shrooms who knows. Hit the town you know. Yeah. No, no it's just us. Nah we just got the one hotel room to save some cash. Well no I said you can't go. Huh? Look you can't tell me what to do. You don't own me, bae, I do what I want. Oh yeah so you just assume I'm gonna cheat huh well gently caress YOU you emotional abusive rear end in a top hat you're not my mother!!!
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Feb 8, 2017 23:45
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I mean the story does sound a little fake tbqh. Especially because there is a subreddit solely dedicated to stories of Nah, I believe the story because there's no real karma moment, there's usually a tell in there and other than the ridiculous standards of what she thinks is reasonable nothing in the story seems particularly off. She was clearly sympathetic enough to get at least one idiot to take her side, too. If the only thing she loses in a story is a relationship she wasn't really that serious about, it's probably not a fake story, at least imo
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Feb 8, 2017 23:47
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I don't believe in cucks! I don't believe in cucks!
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Feb 8, 2017 23:48
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Mirthless posted:
That's not what I said  I am in a fantastic relationship. It would never have gone down that sad clown avenue Pete chose if it were me.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:48
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I mean the story does sound a little fake tbqh. Especially because there is a subreddit solely dedicated to stories of Probably, but it's still worth pointing out that if all the partners in a relationship aren't in agreement on the boundaries in and of that relationship, then they should probably end it.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:49
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Huggybear posted:You're all so grumpy, haha. She didn't "draw boundaries". She brought up something she knew was objectionable and unreasonable, and headed off debate by immediately getting defensive (before he had a chance to respond) and then accusing him of abuse. There was no possible way for him to respond or object without, in her view, abusing her. If she's not consenting to any dissent (and she clearly wasn't) attempting to communicate on the issue is, itself, abusive. She's using emotional manipulation to achieve what she wants and refusing negative feedback in the most harsh way possible. He didn't owe her a communication after the fact. He didn't have any reason to believe she was going to suddenly wake up the next day a more reasonable person, and if he didn't think he could change her mind he had every right to leave. Nobody owes their abusers infinite opportunities to make up and abuse them, and what she was doing was, in every part, abuse.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:49
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Mirthless posted:Nah, I believe the story because there's no real karma moment, there's usually a tell in there and other than the ridiculous standards of what she thinks is reasonable nothing in the story seems particularly off. She was clearly sympathetic enough to get at least one idiot to take her side, too. If the only thing she loses in a story is a relationship she wasn't really that serious about, it's probably not a fake story, at least imo You kidding because this is a monster indicator that you yourself posted quote:I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I
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Feb 8, 2017 23:51
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you're all gaslighting me by continuing to respond to this idiot
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Feb 8, 2017 23:51
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54 40 or gently caress posted:You kidding because this is a monster indicator that you yourself posted Getting defensive and falling back on common criticism / reversing guilt is a pretty frequent tactic of emotionally manipulative people to get what they want.  It's a bit by-the-numbers-MRA-Trope, sure, but it's not like people like this don't actually exist.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:54
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Mirthless posted:Getting defensive and falling back on common criticism / reversing guilt is a pretty frequent tactic of emotionally manipulative people to get what they want. Is there anything you don't have authority to speak on
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Feb 8, 2017 23:55
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It's more fun to just take them all at face value anyway. They could all be fake, so what.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:56
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My (19f) boyfriend (21m) of 2 years won't get over his dick sizequote:Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, he has always been conscious of his dick size although it is average. quote:I have but he is very anti-doctor , he refused to believe that sex with him is more about than just sex, it's not like I'm going to walk off and have sex with someone else just because his dick could be longer I [28F] can't get over the fact that I look a lot like my boyfriend's [29M] mother [early 60sF] quote:The creepy title says it all. I've been with my boyfriend, Sam, for a little over a year and a half. He isn't a big social media person, and he has a typical 'boy' apartment, so I'd never really seen pictures of his family. We live across the country from his family, and I'd only met his brother when his brother was in town. He also hasn't met my family, because they live in another country, but he HAS seen pictures of my family. quote:She and I both even have very similar tortoiseshell glasses
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Feb 8, 2017 23:57
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Me [28F] with my boyfriend [29M] of 5 years. He wants me to be friends with his mom [60sF][new] submitted 4 hours ago by sunk_throwaway222 quote:My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years and living together 4. When we first began dating, I was a little weirded out by how close he was to his parents. They live in the same city as us, and he generally sees them about 3-4 times a month. My parents live thousands of miles away, and I see them once per year. I feel like any "girlfriend date" this woman has with her boyfriend's mom should be focused on BF's naked baby photos and the time he fell in a toilet when he was 8.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:57
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54 40 or gently caress posted:Is there anything you don't have authority to speak on Why take it that way? I'm just conversing, I'm not saying my opinion is The Right One or anything Moridin920 posted:It's more fun to just take them all at face value anyway. They could all be fake, so what. It always feels kinda skeevy to have the expected response to an MRA fakepost, I get why people want to ferret them out
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Feb 8, 2017 23:58
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Mirthless posted:She didn't "draw boundaries". She brought up something she knew was objectionable and unreasonable, and headed off debate by immediately getting defensive (before he had a chance to respond) and then accusing him of abuse. There was no possible way for him to respond or object without, in her view, abusing her. If she's not consenting to any dissent (and she clearly wasn't) attempting to communicate on the issue is, itself, abusive. She's using emotional manipulation to achieve what she wants and refusing negative feedback in the most harsh way possible. Okay, that's it for me, wow. You do not understand the meaning of abuse - you are really, really, really, extremely naive. She's a kid who reacted to someone who tried to control her even if she made plans and assumptions without, as I have said, likely ever having properly encountering the golem that is collective male jealousy. That's a good boundary to draw, but in no way is that "abuse", jesus that is disproportionately definitive and melodramatic af. Like this thread. I'll stop triggering everyone's special slut-shaming safe space now. Thanks, it's been a slice.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:58
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No one's mentioned that she was 25?
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Feb 9, 2017 00:00
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Huggybear posted:Okay, that's it for me, wow. You do not understand the meaning of abuse - you are really, really, really, extremely naive. She's a kid who reacted to someone who tried to control her even if she made plans and assumptions without, as I have said, likely ever having properly encountering the golem that is collective male jealousy. That's a good boundary to draw, but in no way is that "abuse", jesus that is disproportionately definitive and melodramatic af. Like this thread. You literally said women (but not men I notice) are allowed to cheat and they should be forgiven if so because the patriarchy. Then you are calling everyone sexist and a slut shamer for not agreeing to what is frankly a pretty shockingly misogynistic view to hold. You gotta slow burn a little more rather than blowing your load all at once.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:01
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Imagine being such a terrible poster that you keep getting repeatedly owned by Mirthless
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Feb 9, 2017 00:03
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Grevling posted:My (19f) boyfriend (21m) of 2 years won't get over his dick size these stories trigger the poo poo out of me
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Feb 9, 2017 00:04
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Everyone gets a bit insecure about their dick size at times but most of us have better sense than to whine about it to our girlfriend lmao.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:04
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Antivehicular posted:Me [28F] with my boyfriend [29M] of 5 years. He wants me to be friends with his mom [60sF][new] She seems so reluctant to be a part of his parents' life. If they've been together five years, is it really gonna hurt to spend a day with Mom every couple of months? They're practically family at this point. Huggybear posted:Okay, that's it for me, wow. You do not understand the meaning of abuse - you are really, really, really, extremely naive. She's a kid who reacted to someone who tried to control her even if she made plans and assumptions without, as I have said, likely ever having properly encountering the golem that is collective male jealousy. That's a good boundary to draw, but in no way is that "abuse", jesus that is disproportionately definitive and melodramatic af. Like this thread. How is is not abuse to emotionally manipulate your partner to get what you want? She is 25 years old. She is not a "kid". It's really weird and condescending - seriously, what is that all about, even? How much of a loving child do you have to be to think it's still acceptable to make mistakes like this, and behave that way, at age 25? The expectation of monogamy is not "the golem of collective male jealousy" and no matter how many times you try to convince us to read The Ethical Slut we are never going to accept poly as the correct standard
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Feb 9, 2017 00:06
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I feel like there's a slight anti-Jew dig there too.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:06
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Moridin920 posted:Everyone gets a bit insecure about their dick size at times but most of us have better sense than to whine about it to our girlfriend lmao. stoooppppppp allll diiickksss arreee fiiiinneeee
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Feb 9, 2017 00:07
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I know goons get defensive about their porn habits but I can't help but think that it contributes to complexes like this. I doubt most straight guys in their early twenties are seeing a whole lot of erect penises (outside of prison/military) to really compare to so barring that I assume they are watching porn and reading too much into the imagery.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:08
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Pick posted:stoooppppppp do you prefer growers or showers
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Feb 9, 2017 00:08
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Pick posted:stoooppppppp wrong again
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Feb 9, 2017 00:08
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Pick posted:these stories trigger the poo poo out of me This one gets me because he's all "I did a different sex move than usual and you groaned a little more, time to overanalyze the poo poo out of this and conclude our sex life is unsatisfactory!!" You know a dude like this has a spreadsheet of all her text responses and length of time between texts to figure out when she's obviously falling out of love with him.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:08
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Pick posted:stoooppppppp I mean, you say that but then we see things like this and wonder https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/3k0x8f/i_hate_that_my_boyfriend_has_a_small_penis/ posted:I hate that my boyfriend has a small penis. Remorse self.confession https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/3u620t/i_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_because_he_had_a/ posted:I broke up with my boyfriend because he had a small penis Although yeah if you're average then there's really nothing to be worried about. Panfilo posted:I know goons get defensive about their porn habits but I can't help but think that it contributes to complexes like this. I doubt most straight guys in their early twenties are seeing a whole lot of erect penises (outside of prison/military) to really compare to so barring that I assume they are watching porn and reading too much into the imagery. prolly something to that
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Feb 9, 2017 00:09
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