These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"

«‹›840 »

dee eight: Dec 18, 2002; The Spirit
of Maynard

From GBS:

Dave_Indeed posted:

I'm a loving idiot that can't see at night. I have 12 light bars and no turn signal. I like to back my truck into every parking spot really slowly and shittily because I'm batman and may have to leave suddenly to go do my job digging ditches for the state department of transportation.

I drove by some little bitch last night that was going down the road with 3 or 4 of these fuckers permanently turned on so I served him up a hot dish of street justice in the form of my reasonably bright high beams.

I have noticed recently that all of these bitches don't know when to turn off their brights on a single lane county road, and also that headlights have become more and more obnoxious over the last 5 years.

Post ITT to petition Donald Trump to put to death all light bar truck havers, and obnoxious headlight havers, and everyone that doesn't turn their brights off until they are 20 yards away (if at all).

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:08

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:15

buttcrackmenace: Nov 14, 2007; see its right there in the manual where it says; Grimey Drawer

no flags? I thought all vehicles in those areas are supposed to have 20' tall poles affixed with flags.

everyone involved here got lucky. If the jeep had advanced another foot this scenario changes from "dent with a bitchin backstory" to "shattered pelvis, probable brain damage"

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:12

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

dee eight posted:

From GBS:

I count fourteen light bars.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:16

buttcrackmenace: Nov 14, 2007; see its right there in the manual where it says; Grimey Drawer

Platystemon posted:

I count one oval office

i fixed your post

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:18

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

I don't know - can it be seen from orbit with the naked eye? If not it needs more light bars :colbert:

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:40

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

Apparently it blinded you so you couldn't see the past four posts.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:41

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Geoj posted:

I want to get a spot-strobe and aim it out the back window for those assholes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g434EnjOOuU

GnarlyCharlie4u fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Feb 8, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:00

wolrah: May 8, 2006; what?

Cage posted:

They're both idiots, right? I dont know desert rules.

The Jeeps should probably have flags, but it may not be required depending on the area. I don't think a normal size flag really would have helped here.

The guys jumping should definitely have people spotting for them.

I put most of the stupid points on the jumpers' side.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 02:03

Krakkles: May 5, 2003

The Locator posted:

I don't know the etiquette on the dunes, but seems to me that if you go flying over a blind crest like that, anything that happens is on you. I like how he flips off the guy who's hood he just ruined.

This is pretty much the way it works ...

Atticus_1354 posted:

Why did they have people filming, but no one spotting the landing zone?

... and this makes it doubly so.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 02:27

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

The moral of the story in the majority of these dash cam videos boils down to don't be in a rush, or in Russia

# ? Feb 8, 2017 02:28

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHPinV3HCUI

# ? Feb 8, 2017 05:45

ssb: Feb 16, 2006; WOULD YOU ACCOMPANY ME ON A BRISK WALK? I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU!!

Geoj posted:

I don't know - can it be seen from orbit with the naked eye? If not it needs more light bars

That's my motto in Euro Truck Simulator 2

# ? Feb 8, 2017 15:32

KozmoNaut: Apr 23, 2008; Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle

shortspecialbus posted:

That's my motto in Euro Truck Simulator 2

Fully in line with actual Euro truckers' preferences. More lights = more better.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 15:38

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

so there was an unexpected ice storm this morning in the Boston area and even tho i slept in until the roads were clear my lil bro who was in Cambridge heading to work in Watertown witnessed 7 different car accidents - as well as a dude who just dumped a yellow Ducati Scrambler and was pushing it down the street (I guess cause it's supposed to go up to 60 F later on but still that is deep into the spectrum of mentally retarded behavior) :milk:

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:23

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

55 car pile up on i95 about 10 miles north of Boston

http://www.nh1.com/news/55-cars-pile-up-on-highway-during-boston-area-commute-as-freezing-rain-wreaks-havoc/

Saw a good number of other accidents as well while I drove my stupid muscle car 30 miles to work without incident.

Note: now I have said that I will stack it on my way home later.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:25

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

BigPaddy posted:

55 car pile up on i95 about 10 miles north of Boston

http://www.nh1.com/news/55-cars-pile-up-on-highway-during-boston-area-commute-as-freezing-rain-wreaks-havoc/

Saw a good number of other accidents as well while I drove my stupid muscle car 30 miles to work without incident.

Note: now I have said that I will stack it on my way home later.

my bro was also driving an '86 swapped E30 and didnt have a prob aside from the other ppl on the road - also :whatup:

Wakefield, Mass :love:

Lake Quannapowitt~

paging Kastein to get it in on the MA driving scheudenfreud...

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:37

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

Looked at the pile up and 30 cars had to be towed due to being inoperable and it took about 3 hours to clear in the middle of the rush hour. Wakefield is one town over from where I live and I drove past the i93/i95 junction about 45 minutes after it happened. Also some more large crashes on i93 north near Methuen and i90 at the Allston exit. Good work Mass DoT :thumbsup:

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:40

kastein: Aug 31, 2011; Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.

Mariana Horchata posted:

my bro was also driving an '86 swapped E30 and didnt have a prob aside from the other ppl on the road - also Wakefield, Mass Lake Quannapowitt~

paging Kastein to get it in on the MA driving scheudenfreud...

it took me
3
FUCKIN
HOURS

to get to work today. I went up 131, then GPS told me to eat a dick and jump on rt20 instead of i90, then onto 290, oh wait back off of 290 and onto loving ROUTE 12 through Worcester, then back onto 290, sit on my nuts in traffic for 20 minutes to go ~2 miles, then onto 495 north, sat through ~a dozen traffic jams, then i93 south. I saw: zero accidents. Every single one was cleared by the time I got to the end of the jam-up.

However I did see the most amazing thing of my entire driving career, and hopefully my dashcam caught it. Lemme trim the video down real quick if it did.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:46

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

kastein posted:

it took me
3
FUCKIN
HOURS

to get to work today. I went up 131, then GPS told me to eat a dick and jump on rt20 instead of i90, then onto 290, oh wait back off of 290 and onto loving ROUTE 12 through Worcester, then back onto 290, sit on my nuts in traffic for 20 minutes to go ~2 miles, then onto 495 north, sat through ~a dozen traffic jams, then i93 south. I saw: zero accidents. Every single one was cleared by the time I got to the end of the jam-up.

However I did see the most amazing thing of my entire driving career, and hopefully my dashcam caught it. Lemme trim the video down real quick if it did.

ooooOO if so pls share!

i really dont know how u do it man - i practically had a mental breakdown and quit my job after a year or so of 128 rush hour commuting from I93 to Sudbury in my old WRX when i wasnt allowed any concessions in my schedule to be able to come in/leave 2hrs earlier mostly out of spite from my spiteful fat cuntbag supervisor who had a face only a demigorgon could love

# ? Feb 8, 2017 17:59

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

I too drive a gray car in fog with no lights on, or just my DRLs, not realizing THEY DON'T TURN MY TAILIGHTS ON.

I hate other people on the road.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:04

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

kastein posted:

it took me
3
FUCKIN
HOURS

to get to work today. I went up 131, then GPS told me to eat a dick and jump on rt20 instead of i90, then onto 290, oh wait back off of 290 and onto loving ROUTE 12 through Worcester, then back onto 290, sit on my nuts in traffic for 20 minutes to go ~2 miles, then onto 495 north, sat through ~a dozen traffic jams, then i93 south. I saw: zero accidents. Every single one was cleared by the time I got to the end of the jam-up.

However I did see the most amazing thing of my entire driving career, and hopefully my dashcam caught it. Lemme trim the video down real quick if it did.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:03

Philip J Fry: Apr 25, 2007; go outside and have a blast

wolrah posted:

The Jeeps should probably have flags, but it may not be required depending on the area. I don't think a normal size flag really would have helped here.

The guys jumping should definitely have people spotting for them.

I put most of the stupid points on the jumpers' side.

They're in Qatar, which has no regulations on flags. Even if they did, there was no way to see them from that far below such a tall dune. Looks like there's already a few tracks in the sand from previous jumps, so the spotters probably just got complacent thinking they had the whole desert to themselves and couldn't be bothered to turn around once in a while.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:05

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

kastein posted:

it took me
3
FUCKIN
HOURS

Was it on the northbound side? There was a car down in a ditch with a Statey trying to pull the family up and slipping down himself that got a chuckle

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:13

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

https://twitter.com/kathjbragg/status/829378688777121794

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:48

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Mariana Horchata posted:

https://twitter.com/kathjbragg/status/829378688777121794

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:53

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

kastein posted:

it took me
3
FUCKIN
HOURS

to get to work today. I went up 131, then GPS told me to eat a dick and jump on rt20 instead of i90, then onto 290, oh wait back off of 290 and onto loving ROUTE 12 through Worcester, then back onto 290, sit on my nuts in traffic for 20 minutes to go ~2 miles, then onto 495 north, sat through ~a dozen traffic jams, then i93 south. I saw: zero accidents. Every single one was cleared by the time I got to the end of the jam-up.

However I did see the most amazing thing of my entire driving career, and hopefully my dashcam caught it. Lemme trim the video down real quick if it did.

Goddamit, post the video.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 18:53

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I knew that reminded me of something but couldnt put my finger on it...

# ? Feb 8, 2017 19:16

kastein: Aug 31, 2011; Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.

YES IT DID CATCH IT. I wish I had my rearview dashcam hooked up for this, I'd sound slightly less schizophrenic that way.

As for living with this commute, welp, it sucks. It's getting worse, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzwo1KzdtTY

Where this happened:

Exit 36 on i93 south onto Montvale Ave in Woburn. It often takes 7-10 minutes for me to get down the exit ramp from the red circle to the green circle during rush hour. It's one lane wide, branches into left-only, left-straight, and right-only lanes at the end. Montvale westward backs up really badly due to some lovely intersections so the right-turn lane backs up too, and to prevent blocking all the left-turn and straightaway traffic from backing up as well (I've seen this actually back up onto i93 and cause accidents in the right lane) literally 99.99% of people - including the police apparently - accept that the single-lane ramp is used as two lanes, it's wide enough for semi trucks to pass each other with care. This all goes to hell when some self centered douchebag passes everyone on the left and then tries to jam their rear end in* right at the end to turn right, and now left and straight ahead traffic is blocked too. So today that exact thing happened and it was the black BMW in the video... with a state police cruiser behind it. They got pulled over in the mcdonalds parking lot across the street and hopefully tazered to death and buried in a shallow grave.

Extreme opinion? Yeah I might be kinda tired of my commute.

e: * as Louis CK would say, "but that's my favorite way!!!"

kastein fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Feb 8, 2017

# ? Feb 8, 2017 19:28

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

Ah that exit, yeah I use that one every day on the way home. Montvale Ave in general sucks utter balls but it is quicker to go that way to grab the dog from day care if she has gone that day. Yes my dog goes to day care, yes I am ok with this.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 20:31

kastein: Aug 31, 2011; Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.

It's part of my commute every day on the way to work. Hell, if you want a tour lemme know, I'm only a few blocks from there and we build some really cool car/plane stuff.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 20:34

Eifert Posting: Apr 1, 2007; Most of the time he catches it every time.; Grimey Drawer

I'm part of a training group in auto insurance taking place in central Florida and people from ~15 states are all terrified of Florida drivers.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 21:10

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

kastein posted:

YES IT DID CATCH IT. I wish I had my rearview dashcam hooked up for this, I'd sound slightly less schizophrenic that way.

As for living with this commute, welp, it sucks. It's getting worse, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzwo1KzdtTY

That is the sound of exultation.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 21:12

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

kastein posted:

YES IT DID CATCH IT. I wish I had my rearview dashcam hooked up for this, I'd sound slightly less schizophrenic that way.

As for living with this commute, welp, it sucks. It's getting worse, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzwo1KzdtTY

Where this happened:

Exit 36 on i93 south onto Montvale Ave in Woburn. It often takes 7-10 minutes for me to get down the exit ramp from the red circle to the green circle during rush hour. It's one lane wide, branches into left-only, left-straight, and right-only lanes at the end. Montvale westward backs up really badly due to some lovely intersections so the right-turn lane backs up too, and to prevent blocking all the left-turn and straightaway traffic from backing up as well (I've seen this actually back up onto i93 and cause accidents in the right lane) literally 99.99% of people - including the police apparently - accept that the single-lane ramp is used as two lanes, it's wide enough for semi trucks to pass each other with care. This all goes to hell when some self centered douchebag passes everyone on the left and then tries to jam their rear end in* right at the end to turn right, and now left and straight ahead traffic is blocked too. So today that exact thing happened and it was the black BMW in the video... with a state police cruiser behind it. They got pulled over in the mcdonalds parking lot across the street and hopefully tazered to death and buried in a shallow grave.

Extreme opinion? Yeah I might be kinda tired of my commute.

e: * as Louis CK would say, "but that's my favorite way!!!"

lololol fkn Montvale is responsible for like 1/3 of ur stories - nice catch!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 8, 2017 21:18

kastein: Aug 31, 2011; Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.

Montvale, the asshats at the 90-95 interchange (where I got shot at!), and the clusterfuck that is the woburn 93/95 interchange are basically 99 of the 100 horrible things I have to deal with, yes.

# ? Feb 8, 2017 23:16

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

Picking up dinner at a drive through, lady in front of me puts her SUV in park every time she pauses but the brake lights stay on. Why put it in park if you not going to lift your foot? :iaam:

These are the things I sperg about.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 00:37

jamal: Apr 15, 2003; I'll set the building on fire

Went skiing today, when I left the car parked next to me was a toyota fj with chains on the rear wheels. uh, dude, road is plowed and sanded. I was going like 45mph with no issues. Although on the way down I did have to stop and help push a car back into the road. Corolla with an already smashed up front end and what looked to be pretty crap tires. So I guess that was worse than the guy with chains.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 00:44

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

Regarding light bars - I see loving minivans running light bars here in Georgia now, the most recent one today sporting a lovely US-license-plate-sized install that was aimed upward towards traffic from a mount on the front bumper. As I'm riding in a bitch car for pussy men (Mini Cooper) and I'm not sitting 6 feet off the ground like everyone else on the road, I got treated to an eye full of light bar on the way home.

No idea why LEDs seem to be getting away with this crap, but I'm hoping either the cops or some vigilantes with wire cutters get on them soon.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 02:57

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

BRB, patenting a LASER/camera apparatus that find and destroys offensive LEDs.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 02:59

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

Platystemon posted:

BRB, patenting a LASER/camera apparatus that find and destroys offensive LEDs.

If you create such a thing, I will elect you as God. No joke.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 03:01

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:15

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

Ripoff posted:

No idea why LEDs seem to be getting away with this crap, but I'm hoping either the cops or some vigilantes with wire cutters get on them soon.

This is definitely something the cops aren't going to do poo poo about. Its like the 2000s with HID retrofit kits all over again, only now they're cheaper and easier to install.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 03:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"

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