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Allison kicks down the door, Solomon reminds her that they're in the tournament arc, the preliminary round starts tomorrow, a nearby scribe hands her an entry form and invoice for the door repair, and shoos her out. A servant hands Solomon a fresh glass of juice with a twisty straw, and he begins his calisthenics
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Feb 8, 2017 18:15
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Allison uses the burning power of Will to cut a door into Solomon's tower. He immediately invites her to join his in-progress session of fourth-dimension ultra-Crossfit.
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Feb 8, 2017 18:22
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Very well, Al-Yis-Un, we shall battle. But before you challenge me, Solomon David, Lord of a Seventh of Creation, I have one question for you... are all your permits and licenses current? Well we need to get that squared away first, don't we. I think just this once we can waive the fees. They cost an arm and a leg! Ha ha. Seriously we cut your arms and legs off for violations. Aaah, we like to have fun here. Anyway, take a left out the throne room, down the hall, last door on the right will be Accreditation, where they'll get you situated with all the relevant paperwork. You do have two forms of ID, right? Ooof, well that's going to complicate things...
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Feb 8, 2017 18:29
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paranoid randroid posted:Very well, Al-Yis-Un, we shall battle. But before you challenge me, Solomon David, Lord of a Seventh of Creation, I have one question for you... truly the greatest evil of them all
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Feb 8, 2017 18:30
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Solomon David, God of the Sevenfold World, Bearer of the Word "Bureaucracy"
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Feb 8, 2017 18:37
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Hey how ya doin', Solomonlandia! Hoo! Boy, the lines around here, right? I tell ya, you practically need to be able to divide creation just to get your parking validated. And whats the deal wi- *is summarily executed by the Stand-up Police for being hackneyed*
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Feb 8, 2017 18:43
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paranoid randroid posted:Hey how ya doin', Solomonlandia! Hoo! Boy, the lines around here, right? I tell ya, you practically need to be able to divide creation just to get your parking validated. And whats the deal wi- *is summarily executed by the Stand-up Police for being hackneyed*
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Feb 8, 2017 18:48
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Solomon David habitually shops at the sacred farmers' markets which he has established across his Celestial Empire, rejecting fruit which has not been ethically sourced (i.e. from penis trees) and non-microbrew devil liquor; in this, he defies the immoral excess of Throne's established supermarket chain, Wal-Mottom
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Feb 8, 2017 18:53
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One day, when Solomon David was walking through the halls of his palace, he overheard a hapless clerk remark to a colleague, "Actually, I think Modest Mouse's later albums were better." None survived the purge.
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Feb 8, 2017 19:39
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Poltergrift posted:Solomon David habitually shops at the sacred farmers' markets which he has established across his Celestial Empire, rejecting fruit which has not been ethically sourced (i.e. from penis trees) and non-microbrew devil liquor; in this, he defies the immoral excess of Throne's established supermarket chain, Wal-Mottom From the Subject Principate of Il-Yakut, a gift to the Radiant Mother Om! Ten thousand Hip-Hop Daffy Duck t-shirts of finest cotton!
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Feb 8, 2017 19:41
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I really like the characterization of Solomon David as a workout warrior who's a bit of a hipster and just enjoys his job as the head of a dystopic police state
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Feb 8, 2017 19:50
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https://twitter.com/FKublin/status/829357671853805569
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Feb 8, 2017 19:50
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Solomon David knows all the words to Losing My Edge
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Feb 8, 2017 20:01
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The sanctioned action is to deny the form 109-5B-VIII-c for a typo.
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Feb 8, 2017 20:14
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The act of royalty is a continuous audit period
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Feb 8, 2017 20:14
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solomon david not only releases his taxes every year, he releases everyone else's
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Feb 8, 2017 20:23
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"Never skip leg day" has a different undertone in Solomon's kingdom.
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Feb 8, 2017 20:26
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Honestly Solomon David being consumed by proving that he is the one demiurge that can make things work to the point of insane, all-consuming obsession for order and disclipine (in an universe which is built on chaos and being wanton, making it ultimately a fruitless exercise) would definitely fit the whole Pride theme.
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Feb 8, 2017 20:55
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y'all write the weirdest fuckin fanfiction 
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Feb 8, 2017 21:40
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Mottom mocked Solomon David for thinking he's still a hero, so he might be happy with his seventh of creation because he lacks the self awareness that the other Demiurges seem to have.
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Feb 8, 2017 21:51
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I suspect his thing will be that he thinks he's a good guy who's making the universe a better place even though he's gone way past the line and ended up evil like all the others.
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Feb 8, 2017 22:11
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MikeJF posted:I suspect his thing will be that he thinks he's a good guy who's making the universe a better place even though he's gone way past the line and ended up evil like all the others. "But I make the skyboats run on time, and litterers are cast into pits full of the hungry dead, to learn their lesson about sullying my perfect cities. I don't see a problem.  "
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Feb 8, 2017 22:13
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AriadneThread posted:solomon david not only releases his taxes every year, he releases everyone else's turns out solomon david was norwegian this whole time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bO8zEaSuWg
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Feb 8, 2017 22:51
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Y'know... I kinda hope we find out what is happening to his consort back there. I also kinda don't want to know.
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Feb 8, 2017 23:19
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it turns out that solomon david is actually a robot overlord escaped from the matrix dimension wearing a human suit
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Feb 8, 2017 23:19
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Reene posted:Y'know... I kinda hope we find out what is happening to his consort back there. she is clearly taking a standing nap after having fun dancing earlier and playing with party poppers! this is my headcanon, and i'm sticking to it
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Feb 8, 2017 23:23
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BravestOfTheLamps fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Feb 9, 2017 |
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Feb 9, 2017 00:01
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Holy gently caress
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Feb 9, 2017 00:06
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^^^ I know, right?JT Jag posted:litterers are cast into pits full of the hungry dead, to learn their lesson about sullying my perfect cities. I don't see a problem.
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Feb 9, 2017 00:07
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holy poo poo 
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Feb 9, 2017 01:11
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Very strong.
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Feb 9, 2017 01:21
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MikeJF posted:I suspect his thing will be that he thinks he's a good guy who's making the universe a better place even though he's gone way past the line and ended up evil like all the others. I'm guessing his worlds make 1984 or the Castle look good. Or worse, like in the Book of the New Sun, there is a nation of "tamed" people that can only quote the official texts: Gene Wolfe posted:Speaking almost to myself, I said, "It must surely be a trick, or a lie, or a mistake. Such a nation could not exist." wow
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Feb 9, 2017 02:44
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voting third party posted:I'm guessing his worlds make 1984 or the Castle look good. Or worse, like in the Book of the New Sun, there is a nation of "tamed" people that can only quote the official texts: I think that'd be more Jadis' domain. Her whole thing is knowledge, so running her domain on the careful control of ideas fits her well. She controls her acolytes with judicious application of prophecy, they control the populace with brutal suppression of thought. I believe Abaddon once said that of the seven, he would find Solomon David's realm the least unpleasant to live under, for what that's worth.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:26
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Tenebrais posted:I think that'd be more Jadis' domain. Her whole thing is knowledge, so running her domain on the careful control of ideas fits her well. I've always pictured Solomon's realm like that one episode of Star Trek where they go to this idyllic planet where everything is amazing, and it's revealed that ANY transgression is punishable by death. You basically get to live a perfect life as long as you never, EVER, step out of line.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:28
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ConfusedUs posted:I've always pictured Solomon's realm like that one episode of Star Trek where they go to this idyllic planet where everything is amazing, and it's revealed that ANY transgression is punishable by death. You basically get to live a perfect life as long as you never, EVER, step out of line. That's my headcanon until proven otherwise at least.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:33
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Some offenses are known to be lethal at first strike, however, such as lying in the courts, and having sex while acting as part of Solomon's army.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:47
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Mr. Lobe posted:Some offenses are known to be lethal at first strike, however, such as lying in the courts, and having sex while acting as part of Solomon's army. Now, any kind of fabrication of evidence or false testimony, on the other hand, that's immediate death.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:30
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but what are his opinions on smoking weed
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Feb 10, 2017 01:25
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Smoking the actual plant is fine, but vaping is doppel verboten.
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Feb 10, 2017 01:44
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you can smoke weed but if you blow the smoke into anyone else's face you get your lips removed
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Feb 10, 2017 05:12
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