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Neddy Seagoon posted:Turds go in a bag, piss goes in a specimen cup. Measured, weighed, and results marked on the container before placing them upon the Director's desk. A ticket came in: Turds go in a bag, piss goes in a specimen cup.
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Feb 9, 2017 09:20
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Muppet Rabies posted:A ticket came in: Turds go in a bag, piss goes in a specimen cup. Oh please no
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Feb 9, 2017 09:25
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Laptops go in the spec bucket
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Feb 9, 2017 09:32
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Thanks Ants posted:
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Feb 9, 2017 09:42
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Sefal posted:How do you deal with someone who doesn't know what the gently caress is going on, But has enough power to decide stuff. like blocking stuff like implementing WDS+MDT because he doesn't understand the benefit that it has long term? or not letting me implement some scripts that automatically give office 365 licenses to new users, take the license away from users. because and I quote; "You are treating this like it's an enterprise. this is a small office. we don't have lots of people going away and coming in. maybe 2 new hires per year. We can just do it by hand " Depends on the thing you want to do, but I've handled the combination of ignorance+narcissism with fait accompli. When you're handed a task, accomplish it in the way you see fit, and then present the result. Don't waste time asking someone to approve a plan that they don't have the knowledge to understand; you're the expert, you do it the way it needs to be done. Right now it sounds like you're giving your boss too much detail too early. If it's a scriptable thing, script it. It'll take the time it takes. Then when it happens again, you can accomplish it in a fraction of the time it took you to do it the first time and feel smug (and maybe get an attaboy from your boss, whatever). This obviously doesn't work on things that require purchase approval or that would take you months to set up the automation for a few-day manual task, you have to actually get the plan approved ahead of time for those. It also doesn't work on micromanagers but if you work for one of those my only advice is to get a new gig as soon as you can; being a button-pusher for some rear end in a top hat who doesn't want to let you use your brain is a miserable way to make a living.
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Feb 9, 2017 11:14
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Che Delilas posted:Depends on the thing you want to do, but I've handled the combination of ignorance+narcissism with fait accompli. When you're handed a task, accomplish it in the way you see fit, and then present the result. Don't waste time asking someone to approve a plan that they don't have the knowledge to understand; you're the expert, you do it the way it needs to be done. Right now it sounds like you're giving your boss too much detail too early. Thank you. I'm going to do this.
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Feb 9, 2017 11:19
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KoRMaK posted:that whole state seems toxic my man. literally
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Feb 9, 2017 13:21
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mllaneza posted:Way back before the Internet age I supported a group of managers that were so bad with their email passwords (QuickMail LAN) that I was allowed to get away with: You just reminded me of my first internship. My boss was showing me the fiber trunk to the adjacent building and where it connected to the internal network with "These are very fragile, never touch them, don't even think about messing with them." And then slammed the fiber cabinet door shut very energetically. 5 sheepish minutes of checking connectivity later he added "Also never do that."
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Feb 9, 2017 16:01
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Thanks Ants posted:Laptops go in the spec bucket So that's what System Specs mean? 
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Feb 9, 2017 16:57
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Malek posted:So that's what System Specs mean?   Someone combine those 2 smileys please
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Feb 9, 2017 17:33
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I found your old radio station server: http://imgur.com/gallery/6UGUH
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Feb 9, 2017 17:40
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Well, the bad news is that I think the battery on this network tester is finally done for. The good news is that I don't think it's my fault; in fact, I'd say it's a bit of a Fluke.
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Feb 9, 2017 17:41
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GreenNight posted:I found your old radio station server: http://imgur.com/gallery/6UGUH It was a television station. Also I had to do a double take because I honestly thought you found pictures of it when I saw that. I'll see if I ever saved any pictures of the machine controlling our multi-million dollar transmission tower.
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Feb 9, 2017 18:07
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Vegastar posted:gently caress Remedy. You must work for my client, their Remedy instance has been hosed for the past week or so.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:15
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Oh sweet. I don't know if I'm flagged as sysadmin for this. Best way to check? And the two things right now are I can't have more than 3 queries open, the fourth just says you can't have more than 3 open then fails, but actually runs the query first. Is there a way to have a new query just open over an existing one? And if I use tab completion, it works fine, but auto complete in a field with auto filled connected fields won't fill the connected ones. Since I have a few frequent flyers for tickets already, that's unfortunate. Any way to address that? Okay this was ages ago and I never got back to you, I'm really sorry! Do you have access to staff permissions? On a classic navigator bar, you'd look under System Administration --> Staff, open up your staff record, and use the action menu up top to check your Staff Permissions. Under "Additional Permissions", you can be set as a System Administrator or a Group Administrator. For your second question: if you want more than 3 queries/QuickViews, open the Dashboard Manager (it's the gear icon above your dashboard), and click the "Rights" button. You can set the maximum allowable there. I'd hesitate to recommend going above 5 though, otherwise it slows everything the hell down the first time your dashboard loads. Lemme know if you need screenshots for any of the above. What version of the software are you running? 10.2 SP 5 came out before it was EoL'd, but I don't recommend taking it above SP4 (10.2.4.115).
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Feb 9, 2017 21:55
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Okay this was ages ago and I never got back to you, I'm really sorry! Do you have access to staff permissions? On a classic navigator bar, you'd look under System Administration --> Staff, open up your staff record, and use the action menu up top to check your Staff Permissions. Under "Additional Permissions", you can be set as a System Administrator or a Group Administrator. Hey can you tell me if there's some magic button I need to press to make to make Service Request Business Rules work in the cloud offering? Because I can't for the loving life of me get them to.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:58
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My 5th printer ticket of the day came in.ticket posted:"This document was sent to the printer" message appears (scroll down to see), but jobs are not printing today. I logged into the print server and web interface. Sent a print job successfully it hit the printer. All good. Asked the user if it printed... Nope nothing printed. could you please get up, walk over to the printer and see if anything printed? nothing printed. there's probably a paper jam. If you got up to check the printer to see if anything printed you would see on the screen that it says "Paper jam tray 4" nope. Let me try again [sends 100 page document] Nothing is printing. Listen to me. I'm telling you there is probably a paper jam. I've checked the print server and I can send documents tot he printer without problem. They clear the queue and that's that. However, on the printer's webpage, there's an error that says [PRINTER JAM TRAY 4]. When you try to print a document, the job will be stopped and the machine will give you an error on the screen of the machine what shows you how to clear the jam. okay let me try to print [100 page document] again NO DON'T! just print a test page. Okay! I'm printing [100 page document] again... it's not working. Let me try it one more time. FFS! Stop! It's not going to print anything until you clear the paper jam. How do I do that? I already told you... Look at the screen. It gives you all the information on how to clear the jam. There are even little animated illustrations showing you EXACTLY how to do it. Oh I close that every time it comes up. So how do I clear the jam? Don't touch the machine. I'm calling Xerox to fix it. They should be out there sometime next week. have a nice day!Some time later... ticket update posted:The printer works. I cleared the jam but now it won't stop printing. It's printed [100 page document] three times already! How to stop it?
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Feb 9, 2017 22:55
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MF_James posted:You must work for my client, their Remedy instance has been hosed for the past week or so. Based on your post history, it seems unlikely. I'm keeping it intentionally vague a bit, but we don't have anything to do with retail establishments.
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Feb 9, 2017 23:15
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Okay this was ages ago and I never got back to you, I'm really sorry! Do you have access to staff permissions? On a classic navigator bar, you'd look under System Administration --> Staff, open up your staff record, and use the action menu up top to check your Staff Permissions. Under "Additional Permissions", you can be set as a System Administrator or a Group Administrator. Man, I have NONE of those buttons.  Not even the rights button in the gear. Thanks for trying though.
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Feb 9, 2017 23:17
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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:My 5th printer ticket of the day came in.
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Feb 9, 2017 23:35
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I found a classified document (naval exercise plans iirc) on the desk of one of the most trafficked offices on board once. Some moron ops officer had printed it and promptly mislaid it. A whole shitton of fun happened after I alerted the CIC  The words "what the gently caress did you print that poo poo for?!" was heard clearly across half the boat when the XO found out.
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Feb 9, 2017 23:45
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Super Slash posted:In some way I'm kinda happy the majority of my "Printer isn't printing" requests are usually some dumbo has gone and collected their printing without looking what they picked up and stolen someone else's stuff, this happens waaaaay too often but whatevs. My favorite variation on this is when someone from HR decides to print some confidential document to the public printer instead of their own. Then some producer printing a massive script just scoops it up. In my current job I don't have to deal with printers. It's pretty nice.
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Feb 9, 2017 23:47
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This might be my favorite ticket this year. "Investigative Purposes". Uh huh. Sure. ... they are actually investigating. We've had a ton of fraud transfers to weed sites.
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Feb 10, 2017 00:04
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I have lawyers act all sheepish when they ask me to have a porn site unblocked. I always make it a point to say we don't actually care other than looking out for malware which these tend to have more often than others.
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Feb 10, 2017 01:01
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Coworker doesn't understand the difference between a logical volume and the physical disks making up that volume. Basically the SAN volume was shut down but the physical RAID arrays were still zoned to the metadata controllers. One of the arrays hung and the controllers started throwing end_request: I/O error over and over again thus locking up the system and interrupting our upgrade. He could not understand how the physical storage could still interact with the systems when the logical volume was shut down. Our project coordinator had to use a library analogy to explain it Holy poo poo we're a SAN integrator why don't you understand this very important concept 
pr0digal fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Feb 10, 2017 |
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Feb 10, 2017 04:49
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LethalGeek posted:I have lawyers act all sheepish when they ask me to have a porn site unblocked. I always make it a point to say we don't actually care other than looking out for malware which these tend to have more often than others. I thought working at a trade school meant I had seen it all when going through the monthly top-20 sites to see if there was anything we should block. ..then I started working for broadcast media. Buying illegal drugs online. Extremely racist/neo-fascist/Kill-all-the-X sites, Kiddie porn, regular ol' horse/pee/poo/needlework porn. The other admin told me I shouldn't be looking at the firewall logs, and he was right. (Everything legally covered under journalistic research, some times even with the help from the local or national police.)The real kicker was that one of the sweetest grandma-like journalists was often the one to dig up the nastiest poo poo. Apparently she's really good at making people confide in her. Crowley fucked around with this message at 09:04 on Feb 10, 2017 |
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Feb 10, 2017 09:01
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Crowley posted:Kiddie porn ... legally covered under journalistic research I don't think this is accurate.
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Feb 10, 2017 13:28
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An email just came in from a client, no subject, no text, single picture attachment. The picture is a photo of a monitor with notepad open, and question typed in.  Translation: Is the WAN IP address $IP? Are ports 4002 and 4004 forwarded to 192.168.1.18 e: I have already replied to email and didn't think that I should have probably typed the response in notepad and take a photo and send it that way. The Claptain fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Feb 10, 2017 |
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Feb 10, 2017 16:08
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The Claptain posted:An email just came in from a client, no subject, no text, single picture attachment.
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Feb 10, 2017 16:25
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The Claptain posted:An email just came in from a client, no subject, no text, single picture attachment. Take a photo of your reply, print it out, scan it back in, and attach that to the email.
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Feb 10, 2017 16:27
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The Claptain posted:e: I have already replied to email and didn't think that I should have probably typed the response in notepad and take a photo and send it that way. e:fb;
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Feb 10, 2017 16:30
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A clarification arrived: The company which supports whatever software they are using were remoted in to this machine and it was them that typed to question. The guy who sent the email couldn't be bothered to type the email on his phone, so he took this photo.
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Feb 10, 2017 16:45
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Collateral Damage posted:Take it one step further. Type it in notepad, print it out, scan it to PDF, show the PDF on a projector in a conference room, take a picture of the projection screen and send the picture as an attachment in reply. look, whatever we're doing, it needs to end with Mario Paint as has been foretold by prophecy
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Feb 10, 2017 16:51
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I had someone provide a screenshot by taking a screenshot, pasting it into Word, printing it out, scanning it in as a b/w PDF, and then attaching to the ticket.
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Feb 10, 2017 16:51
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Collateral Damage posted:Take it one step further. Type it in notepad, print it out, scan it to PDF, show the PDF on a projector in a conference room, take a picture of the projection screen and send the picture as an attachment in reply. I'm thinking of takeing a picture of projections screen with analogue camera, developing film and taking picture of negative with cellphone.
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Feb 10, 2017 16:59
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Everyone knows you put it on a wooden table then take a picture with your phone
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Feb 10, 2017 17:00
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azurite posted:I had someone provide a screenshot by taking a screenshot, pasting it into Word, printing it out, scanning it in as a b/w PDF, and then attaching to the ticket.
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Feb 10, 2017 17:15
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A Pinball Wizard posted:I don't think this is accurate. In many jurisdictions, yes, journalistic protection covers *everything* if it's being reported on, even the most illegal, disgusting poo poo. See http://www.spj.org/shieldlaw-faq.asp for more info nexxai fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Feb 10, 2017 |
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Feb 10, 2017 17:25
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The Claptain posted:I'm thinking of takeing a picture of projections screen with analogue camera, developing film and taking picture of negative with cellphone. No a cell phone is too high quality. Dig one of those old Palm Pilots with a camera out of the supply closet, use that to take the picture. Like this: 
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Feb 10, 2017 17:41
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Let's not neglect the fax machine. So, a ticket came in. When my company wants to send out mass emails, we use a 3rd party service called Constant Contact. One team sent out an email blast and would like to follow it up with a more personalized approach, by sending a normal "Outlook" message. Marketing team puts in a helpdesk ticket asking how this can be done. My company has a central admin support team that does this sort of thing - run reports, create PowerPoints, any type of administrative/secretarial tasks as needed. I figure this task is right up their alley, chat with that team's manager, and send them the ticket. She calls me back saying "Wait a second, this isn't a merge. It's an email merge! I can't do it." She goes on to explain how she could do a merge and generate 500 copies of a snail mail letter, each addressed to different individuals, but not an email as she doesn't know how to do that. Okay, fair enough but really, isn't it kinda your job to figure out how to do this? Feel free to ask me for help, sure but my job is tech support, not receiving the buck that you are passing. In any case I figure it out, test and confirm it working, then send both the marketing and admin teams instructions on how to do this. I then go to update the ticket, marketing put in a note asking for an update as they hadn't heard from admin support. Admin support manager replies saying IT will have to handle it as it's an email merge. Having sent her the instructions, what's happened here is that the IT guy who's been here less than 1.5 years has just shown the company's longest tenured employee (20+ years) how to do her job.
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