Pick posted:

don't date gamers, or your dad, or video games about loving your dad, or that video game about having gay sex with living poop made out of meat that comes out of your butthole and kills every fish in your aquarium

Themata posted:

My (20/F) sister (25/F) is posing as a gamer to attract a guy she likes, but she actually hates gaming and keeps involving me because I'm a real gamer.

Farg posted:

im the person who has a meltdown when asked for more info about a statement and then deflects by implying the question asker doesn't think sexual abuse is an issue

fruit on the bottom posted:

Ah, you noticed my Kickstarter.

Tiny Deer posted:

Oh, no. I read them. I just lack the patience to do a bunch of dudes' homework for them like they can shove me in a locker if I don't. I often feel patient enough to do this, but good goddamn baby Jesus Christ is it tiresome.

I don't even know. I guess I know it's pointless, but I keep tilting at those windmills.

If you honestly want more information, try calling RAINN or your local equivalent. They also have a Web presence with plenty of information. There you go.

Farg posted:

im the person who has a meltdown when asked for more info about a statement and then deflects by implying the question asker doesn't think sexual abuse is an issue

quote:

Throwaway since SO is an occasional redditor and I'm paranoid.
I'll try to word this so I don't sound like a total rear end in a top hat, because I'm really not!
Me [F24] and my SO [M22] have been dating 2 years and living together 4 months. For the most part, our relationship has been smooth sailing with no major fights and good communication. I'll give our backgrounds then touch on the problem. I graduated university with a Bachelor of Science and plan on going to grad school soon. I'm not a braggart but for the sake of this post, I'll mention that I've always been considered a "smart" person. Straight As, honours, high GPA, and very interested in intellectual-type stuff. I read a LOT of books and have acquired a decent vocabulary. I'm also a quick learner and pick up new things easily.
My SO is a fantastic person. He's different than me in that he went into the trades and didn't pursue any post-secondary education, although he does really well in his trade. I have nothing against the trades (some of the smartest people I know work in trades) but there are some things that are starting to get to me. My SO doesn't read as much as I do and doesn't really get why I read so much. Because of this, his vocabulary is...lacking. I often have to stop to explain pretty simple words. I've started to censor my conversation to avoid these explanations. For example, I've had to explain what a rearing horse is and where exactly I was when I was taking a walk on the dikes.
There are also "living under a rock" type of situations. I was shocked when I learned he had never heard of the YMCA song and dance. I'm not kidding. And yes, he was born and raised in an area where this would be commonplace.
Finally, I often have to explain movie plots or TV show plots if there are too many characters or events happening at the same time.
This stuff never used to bother me and I thought it was a cute quirk. But the cuteness has worn off and I have begun the dreaded eye-rolling stage. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I can't help it! I'm afraid it's starting to affect how I view my SO, and not in a good way. I just really need any insights you guys have on this situation.
TL;DR: I have a larger vocabulary and pick up on things a lot quicker than my SO and I often have to stop to explain things to him. I'm starting to view him negatively because of it.
Edit: Put SO's age as 21 when he's actually 22. Typo!
Edit the second: "Dykes" to "dikes". I'm not walking on lesbians.

Pick posted:

don't date gamers, or your dad, or video games about loving your dad, or that video game about having gay sex with living poop made out of meat that comes out of your butthole and kills every fish in your aquarium

Pick posted:

btw this game is called "sweet pool" and you should read this review

Pick posted:

btw this game is called "sweet pool" and you should read this review

Pick posted:

By the way, they made merchandise for the sexual meat butt making GBS threads (and fish-killing) game, this is a non-can-see-his-penis view of it



video games, good??

Pick posted:

By the way, they made merchandise for the sexual meat butt making GBS threads (and fish-killing) game, this is a non-can-see-his-penis view of it



video games, good??

quote:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5t1r9y/my_boyfriend_abuses_me_when_i_go_visit_my_family/

My parents live out of state, and my siblings are all spread out throughout the state. I try to go see them every chance I get because my family and I are really close. That's when the trouble starts. My boyfriend always makes sure I'm miserable while I'm gone. His favorite name for me is stupid, he calls me stupid/idiot/dumbass/retard whether I'm home with him or visiting my family. I came to visit my sisters house for a week because my parents came in from out of state. He's been mentally torturing me for three days, telling me I'm low quality, worthless, fat, slut, whore (I'm 5'3, 145lbs. I've lost 25lbs since being together, so the fat part is stupid bc I've worked really hard to lose weight). He told me to come back home early, and I said fine, so now he's acting all nice and apologetic.

TL;DR My boyfriend told me I was a "5" and fat/ugly/stupid/worthless, he always abuses me through text when I go visit my "lower class" family

OP in comments after someone said "break up" posted:

I know :/ I think about leaving him but then when he gets all nice and apologetic it's hard to. Maybe it's a trap I keep falling in.

Waterbed Wendy posted:

She seems like knows that she is in a bad and abusive relationship so I'm not sure what she is asking. Like, uh, yeah sever, you gorgeous not-fat smarty!

subhuman filth posted:

Wait what. What game is this. Video games are awesome!

Pick posted:

btw this game is called "sweet pool" and you should read this review

Waterbed Wendy posted:

we really need a way to denote sarcasm in text form.

quote:

I wanted to get /r/relationships take on this instead of a strictly lgbt perspective.
When I came out at 25 years old, my family was in disbelief. A lot of family relationships were lost. I was specifically told not to tell my paternal grandmother (GM) since she's so Catholic, etc. I was the traditional butch, burly, man's man. I will admit I'm more obvious/open now, but I'm still a 'butch type.' Not ashamed of who I am at all.
I came out after I met my now husband - we've been together for 12 years and been married for almost 5.
I've always been very close to GM. Even though my parents were divorced, I always got to see GM. She took care of me when I was sick, took me shopping for school clothes, and just was a good friend for the past 37 years. We've always secretly told each other that we're each other's favorites in the family.
She's approaching 99 years old, and is sharp as a tack. She's not stupid and knows that I've been living with my 'friend' for the past 10 years and we go on vacations together, etc. She loves my husband and we've visited her many times together over the years with holidays and just visiting. GM has been nothing but kind, and always tells me to tell him she loves him, too, after one of our phone calls. She had 5 kids and one (my aunt, RIP) was definitely a lesbian, but it was never spoken of. She always had 'special friends.'
Anyway, I don't know how much time she has left despite being healthy as a horse, and I've never told her that I'm married or that [husband] and I have been a couple since day 1 over 10 years ago. She loves the national news and is very aware of all the recent legislation, but we never talk about politics. It's not that we're not interested; it's just that we talk about so many other things like old friends, and she doesn't want to tell everyone her opinions that way.
I feel like I owe it to her to tell her she has an official grandson-in-law, and that I'm happily married, but I'm still hesitant after all the family stuff from before. What if she tells me I'm a sinner, etc? I can't deal with that.
So...what do I do?
tl:dr: My 98yo grandmother (favorite person in the world) knows I'm gay, but has never officially heard me say it to her despite being married. Do I tell her?

quote:

The parents of my [18M] Girlfriend [17F] told me I can't date her anymore over a text conversation, which I believe has been misunderstood.

So we have been dating since November, I have met her parents in the beginning of our relationship and they seemed fine, step-mom was nice, dad was joking around a little, the usual. But they both drink and smoke, increased drinking happens every weekend.

fast forward to December when the second Hobbit came out, I got her home after it at 12:40, her curfew was at 12:00. Step-mom was waiting outside and was a tad bit angry. Girlfriend got grounded but afterwards it was all smooth but from then on her parents weren't nice or talkative to me when I was at their house.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, nothing with her parents have really changed, I figure I am disliked, that's OK, and my girlfriend still has only the rule of being back at midnight which I do every time we go out.

Tuesday, nice warm day, we're runners so we decide to go run somewhere after school, she texts her step-mom where she is, gets the ok, its the usual process. we run a trail and find an abandoned barn along the way and explore it for several hours. My phone is in the car and hers is dead from being a flashlight during our adventure and when we got back to the car she texted her step-mom from my phone about the dead phone and that she is coming home. On the way home we decide we should go to a restaurant and she relays the plans to step-mom but something odd is happening over text between them. step-mom knows, understands, says its ok just be back by curfew at 10:00(week day). vital information- comments about how the restaurant has BBQ potatoes and can't wait. But for some reason her step-mom doesn't think it's my girlfriend texting.

Not much else is texted for a few minutes because we are getting out of the car and going in to the restaurant. When we sit down I read through the text messages and see that her step-mom doesn't think its my girlfriend so I message her and this starts the holy poo poo confusion.

me- yes ma'am. this is (my name) texting now

step-mom-well this is dad speaking now

me-Hello sir, sorry for the delay, we just sat down at the restaurant. would you like me to get you a potato?

now dad- you know where you can fit that potato

dad-I can tell you when you get here

dad-better yet, show you

I'm kind of weirded out, was he joking or is he mad? I had no idea. My girlfriend who is sitting next to me sees this and takes the phone and texts

girlfriend-quit harassing my boyfriend

dad- bring the potato boy

dad-when (girlfriend) gets home we will talk about whether you both can go out again

dad-this is not how you speak to your girlfriends parents

Both her and I her weirded out, she's pissed that this is happening for what seems to be no reason and then her dad calls. she picks up but gives the phone to me. Basically he says that he doesn't like whats happening, when she is with me she's my responsibility and he just doesn't care for what is happening and he dosen't care for me then he hangs up. I responded only in yes sir's and I understand sir's. then he sends me a final text

Apatite has been successfully destroyed so we get to go boxs and pay the bill. I'm preparing for god knows what when I drop her off but there is no need, when we walk out into the parking lot their car is there and they both hop out and walk towards us. It's 8:00 pm. 2 hours before curfew, no idea why they're here.

My girlfriend is told to get in the car(pretty stern but calmly) but she's asking "hold on, what did he even do?" I tell her it's OK and just go to the car. I am trying to not make the situation hostile because her dad is a drinker and I don't need to get in any type of fight. She goes in the car with her step-mom and her dad waves me to come with him away from their car.

In general he says that when I have a daughter, I will understand this situation, that I'm done dating her and there is to be no if, ands, or buts, no sneaking behind his back and to have a nice life as he walked back to his car and drove away.

I'm left in the parking lot completely lost for words. I go home, cry into my parents arms and tell them the story and they have no clear idea of what I did. I love this girl, we workout togethor, laugh together, talk and talk deeply together.

She was going to try talking to them after a week to let them cool off. Hasn't happened yet. In past events throughout her life they have been set off quite randomly and easily so she is proceeding with extreme caution.

Any help, suggestions, angles I'm not seeing?

tl;dr Girlfriends parents said that I couldn't date their daughter, my Girlfriend of 4 months, for asking if they wanted a potato.

Pick posted:

Gaunab posted:

quote:

tl;dr Girlfriends parents said that I couldn't date their daughter, my Girlfriend of 4 months, for asking if they wanted a potato.

quote:

dad- bring the potato boy

I Was The Fury posted:

Mirthless posted:

this dad is one of the 10%

I Was The Fury posted:

Nazzadan posted:

I just typed up a long spergy analysis of Pick's post and how 1/10 is both common and uncommon at the same time but I deleted it because it was loving stupid as was that whole derail.

So here's content

I'm "smarter" than my SO and it's starting to get to me


bf dumb, so what.

Edit: I apparently haven't f5'd in a while and that derail was pages ago, ignore me

TheScott2K posted:

"Some of the smartest people I know work in trades" is something a lot of annoying people with degrees say lately.

TheScott2K posted:

"Some of the smartest people I know work in trades" is something a lot of annoying people with degrees say lately.

quote:

I met my girlfriend on a dating site in late 2011. She added me as a favourite and I liked her profile so we started chatting.
Everything was fine until probably a month after she moved in to my place. She went out with her friends and I went out with a buddy I hadn't seen since the early 2000s.
That night I came home drunk and she said I needed a lesson and it was for my own good. She pushed me sideways on the bed so I was facing her sideways and then wrapped both my legs up in her legs and pulled my body over the bed, and grabbed my hand and pulled it over my back, so only my one hand was free, but I couldnt move it because I needed to put it on the floor so I didn't fall over the bed.
She took the TV remote and hit me on the butt with it until I was red and crying.
Since then she does it at least once it twice a month if we have a bad argument and I am too scared to disagree with her and she threatens to self harm and say that I raped and beat her.
So I don't know what to do. I just go through m life trying not to upset her and agreeing with almost everything she says.
everyone believes she is sweet except her sisters and parents and some other family members. she treats me well in public or around other people and so on.
I have only told one buddy what is going on and he just made a joke of it.
stats...
She's 5 foot 4 and 115 lbs.
I'm 5 foot 7 and 140 lbs.
She is unusually strong because of horse riding though, I dont know how by her legs have hidden strength and her arms are quite strong as well. I could definitely over power her but I am not violent at all and would be afraid of the consequences anyway.
I have started sneaking to therapy during my work lunch break but have not been able to disclose the full facts due to shame.
I need advice. any appreciated!
tl;dr: Girlfriend is hitting and verball abusing me but she is smaller than I am and threatens to tell police that I am raping and beating her and will self mutilate as evidence if I tell.

Nazzadan posted:

I [30 M am being abused by my girlfriend [25 F] of 4 years, she threatens me not to tell anyone.



The horse tag is starting to get dark

Nazzadan posted:

I [30 M am being abused by my girlfriend [25 F] of 4 years, she threatens me not to tell anyone.



The horse tag is starting to get dark

quote:

Okay so my boyfriend is trans and it's difficult for him to be comfortable with his body, especially his vagina. That's why asking him to shave is delicate. Well, he doesn't even need to shave, just trim a bit.
He's very hairy, which is great because he wants to be, and it'll be awesome for when he goes on T later next year. I honestly don't mind him not shaving anywhere because it's his body, so his choice, but I don't think a mouthful of hair is sexy when I'm going down on him.
TL:DR: How do I ask my boyfriend to shave/trim without hurting his feelings?

quote:

Boyfriend (19) has big dreams and a bright future, me (19/F) not so much.

Alright, so I am together with my boyfriend for a year and we are living together, everything is going perfect right now, life could not be any better honestly. We are on same terms regarding everything, and we both can see ourselves getting married in the future.

Thing is my boyfriend is really ambitious. Maybe it's because his parents are great role models for him, both succesful individuals. He already started his career, working as a Junior/InterMed Sysadmin in a start-up tech company which is getting lots of recognition internationally at the moment. He is the youngest in the company right now, and youngest person after him is around 8 years older than him. Everyone is admiring him at the company, he gets compliments on how smart he is everyday, he evet got promotion/changed departments to his pre-dream job with a raise (he is in the company for less than a year) and his CTO is after him, praising him whenever they come across. His dream is to become a CTO of a Forbes 100 company but he said that he will be pretty much fulfilled if he becomes CTO of a succesful company.

Me on the other hand, I'm like meh... I am not sure what I even want to do, I'm currently developing my own games, and if I don't make it in gaming scene I will most likely become a lecturer/researcher at a university, in the best case scenario... I'm not passionate about anything regarding my future like him. I'm just afraid he will feel I'm not enough for him, I heard stories of succesful people divorcing their long-time partners after finding success because they are not on their level. Not to mention that his salary will be at least like ten times better than mine

Sounds like a rant but I want to ask for advice. How can I overcome this mindset?

tl;dr: boyfriend is an amazing person with a great future ahead of him and I'm not like him, fearing of holding him back as well as losing him because i'm lovely...