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Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

eleven extra elephants posted:

I heard on some podcast there is a season where I think Bayern based upon statistics could have played without a keeper and still won. I can't find anything on Google and it sounds bullshit but anybody have any idea?

it was one of last month's football weekly, the claim was bayern faced so few shots that if Neuer had a 100% shots conceded Bayern would still be first

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Tahirovic
Feb 25, 2009
Fun Shoe
So Dortmund has to close the Südtribüne for one game, apparently Dosenschiessen is not allowed in the Bundesliga.

quote:

Borussia Dortmund muss für das kommende Heimspiel gegen den VfL Wolfsburg die berühmt-berüchtigte Südtribüne sperren und eine Busse von 100'000 Euro zahlen. Das entschied am Montag das DFB-Sportgericht. Vor gut einer Woche war es beim 1:0-Sieg gegen RB Leipzig zu Verfehlungen der Fans des Bundesliga-Vierten gekommen.

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
Come on you bochums!

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

18 months ago, a modern day Nostradamus posted:

Osnabrück - RB Leipzig has been ruled 2-0 for Leipzig. Honestly, if they can regularly bring this caliber of Schadenfreude to the table I'd say they make a fine addition to the league. Just imagine Dortmund having to play them, their supporters would have to figure out a way to go beyond full retard

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3734932&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post448957321 :ocelot:

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham

oliwan posted:

Come on you bochums!

RIP. you should support braunschweig or vfb instead

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo

fat greasy puto posted:

RIP. you should support braunschweig or vfb instead

I support union my dude

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham
my original post stands

Pand
Apr 1, 2011

Jogi Maldito

This Heidenheim Stuttgart game has a couple tasty tasty goals.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very


Oh man I can't wait to hear even more about how the Südtribüne in Dortmund is empty today, Sky.

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER

Healbot posted:

Oh man I can't wait to hear even more about how the Südtribüne in Dortmund is empty today, Sky.

https://twitter.com/TobiasEscher/status/832959174757711872

straight up brolic
Jan 31, 2007

After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

:homebrew::homebrew::homebrew:

lol at arsenal losing 5-1 to this team

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very


First off lmao what a dive, didn't know getting hit by wind constituted a foul in any way, shape, or form.

Second lmao Mainz melting down.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very


Abraham kicking people in the gut like it ain't no thang.

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

Lollll

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

:shepicide:

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."

97th minute goals are my fav, definitely what I watch football for

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

Waht the gently caress im going to kill myself dilbert

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
I hope all Bayern players, their fans, and their bought refs die.

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
Also, the substitution in extra time is so loving dumb

mackintosh
Aug 18, 2007


Semper Fidelis Poloniae
son of a whore

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."

Lewa scored at 95:59 minutes (so not the 97th, my bad!!!), making this the latest goal in Bundesliga history and also the first goal to have been predicted with 100% accuracy by absolutely everyone who was watching the game and/or heard "Bayern is down 0-1 in the 95th minute".

Infected
Oct 17, 2012

Salt Incarnate


Guys please be nice to the Bayerns, they are such a small club and it's well deserved that they finally have a match where the referee is on their side for once. They've really been suffering from those one-sided referees for years now.

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
The ref continued play till bayern finally scored? Well I never...

Tahirovic
Feb 25, 2009
Fun Shoe
Yeah the real news today was Bremen keeping a clean sheet.

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

I think I finally calmed down. It was still a good-ish result. Oh well. :shobon: Btw, I think it would be funny if someone kidnapped Uli Hoeneß and tortured him to death, IMGO

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
Apparently there were 20k Bayern fans in the stadium? lol

Infected
Oct 17, 2012

Salt Incarnate


Well, Ancelotti must have been showing that middlefinger to someone after all.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

oliwan posted:

I hope all Bayern players, their fans, and their bought refs die.

This.

Smirr posted:

I think I finally calmed down. It was still a good-ish result. Oh well. :shobon: Btw, I think it would be funny if someone kidnapped Uli Hoeneß and tortured him to death, IMGO

Also this. I'm truly sorry for you, Smirr. It's not as if it would have made a difference in the Meisterschaft, Bayern will win it anyway. But they did not deserve 5 minutes extra time, with the ref deciding to up this another minute! loving lol.

beer_war
Mar 10, 2005

Tahirovic posted:

Yeah the real news today was Bremen keeping a clean sheet.

Wiedwald even made a couple good saves.

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER
Looks like some people in here need to kiss the rings

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very


Dunban posted:

Looks like some people in here need to kiss the rings

It true

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
Other news: bravest stand

Uli Hoeness, Bayern president and paroled €27.2m tax evasion convict, accusing winger Douglas Costa of “desperate” greed for dropping hints about a transfer. “This is his attempt to get more money and it won’t work. He can try 10 more times. He’s no social case.”

elbkaida
Jan 13, 2008
Look!
Just saw a list of time the Bundesliga coaches have been at their current club and only four of them are longer than one and a half season (Stöger, Streich, Schmidt, Schmidt). 10 out of 18 are at the club only for this season. Pretty incredible. They're all really young too, barely anyone older than 50. Goes to show how shortlived the business is...

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER
Gladbach and Schalke are gonna play one another in the Europa League.

https://twitter.com/VM_83/status/835102227316473857

Goa Tse-tung
Feb 11, 2008

;3

Yams Fan

Dunban posted:

Gladbach and Schalke are gonna play one another in the Europa League.

https://twitter.com/VM_83/status/835102227316473857

:psyduck:

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Dunban posted:

Gladbach and Schalke are gonna play one another in the Europa League.

https://twitter.com/VM_83/status/835102227316473857

So two times in the Europa League and once in the Bundesliga? And Harmburg in the Liga and the Pokal? That's a bit hosed up.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very


Dunban posted:

Gladbach and Schalke are gonna play one another in the Europa League.

https://twitter.com/VM_83/status/835102227316473857

:laffo:

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012

That's giving me flashbacks to the time Werder and HSV played each other three times in like 10 days and HSV got knocked out of the UEFA cup semis by a ball of paper

Pand
Apr 1, 2011

Jogi Maldito

Smirr posted:

That's giving me flashbacks to the time Werder and HSV played each other three times in like 10 days and HSV got knocked out of the UEFA cup semis by a ball of paper

ty for reminding me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPyEyt1xKvQ

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frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
more like Self-Harmburg amirite

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