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Poor Uber driver's gonna have to get poo poo out of his seat.
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Feb 15, 2017 19:59
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that's definitely gonna get you a bad passenger rating!!
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Feb 15, 2017 20:04
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The friendless virgin's most pathetic thing is hoarding his cash at home rather than putting them into some good mutual funds and maybe some bonds if he's really conservative.
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Feb 15, 2017 20:04
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Baronjutter posted:The friendless virgin's most pathetic thing is hoarding his cash at home rather than putting them into some good mutual funds and maybe some bonds if he's really conservative. or he could just buy a realdoll and gently caress it anytime he wants
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Feb 15, 2017 20:37
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I don't trust realdolls to hold their value since obama.
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Feb 15, 2017 22:30
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quote:There are 6 dead cats in my fridge right now. 5 are strays I lured in via a raccoon trap. I used a nailgun to humanely put them down. quote:I was 7 years old when the Nintendo 64 came out and Star Fox 64 was my favorite game. I played it every day after school. I beat it hundreds, maybe thousands of times. I memorized each and every level - I could play through the entire game without taking a single hit after a few years of practice.
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Feb 15, 2017 22:40
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"I have to pay money for my son, who my wife has custody of. I would have had to pay for him in any circumstance anyway, because that's how children work, but because of this I will kill some cats and feed them to someone without them knowing." -A mentally ill person
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Feb 15, 2017 22:44
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Remember, she made him lose his job, too. Clearly, she's evil and deserves to eat cat balls.
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Feb 15, 2017 22:46
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Every day I think about that guy who really hates Monkeys. I wonder how he's doing
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Feb 15, 2017 22:48
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poor little monkey
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Feb 15, 2017 22:51
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A true furry would know how to spell the word "dalmatian," idiot
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Feb 15, 2017 22:55
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Do we believe the catballs thing? Wouldn't you wait until after she ate them to send a report so everyone could know how you loving got that bitch that divorced you because you are a psycho?
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Feb 15, 2017 23:10
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cat meatball guy is a piece of poo poo and I'm going to backtrace his IP and break his knees, regardless of whether or not his confession is fake
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Feb 15, 2017 23:15
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The Management posted:Do we believe the catballs thing? Wouldn't you wait until after she ate them to send a report so everyone could know how you loving got that bitch that divorced you because you are a psycho? I found it to be a bit too on-point to be true. Real life doesn't usually adhere so closely to stereotypes, in this case that of the bitter, deluded ex-husband. alternative answer: who cares
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Feb 15, 2017 23:17
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H.H posted:
Holy poo poo now THAT'S a confession
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Feb 15, 2017 23:20
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Doesn't seem like the ex would have had any difficulty convincing the family of the cat-killing meatball maniac that he was a bad person.
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Feb 16, 2017 01:07
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alphabettitouretti posted:Doesn't seem like the ex would have had any difficulty convincing the family of the cat-killing meatball maniac that he was a bad person. Hahaha "my ex painted me to be a bad guy, when I'm really not, so I murdered her cat and fed it to her" When you put it in that context, it's actually kind of funny in a Dadaist sort of way
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Feb 16, 2017 01:21
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Weird revenge drama aside, I'd probably eat cat meat given a chance. Not from strays though they probably are full of parasites.
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Feb 16, 2017 01:25
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Skinning, butchering, and cleaning a cat is a pretty intense task. Plus they don't have much meat. I would just grind up a leg and mix it into a pile of ground beef and call it a day. If I was crazy.
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Feb 16, 2017 01:41
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Eating Cat Meat Just like dog, cat meat has been eaten around the world. Nowadays cat is still enjoyed in parts of Peru, Switzerland and of course, China! I’ve only eaten cat meat once, and it was alright, but definitely what I would call a little on the bizarre side. I had no idea what to expect when I ordered a braised cat meat hot pot in China. I honestly was thinking the meat might be similar to chicken, but it surely wasn’t. My preconceived thought of eating cat was blown away. It arrived at our table, a giant intimidating wok medley of slow cooked spices, garlic, chives, and tons of little bite sized chunks of cat. There must have been a half a cat in this dish! My nose detected the delights of star anise and dried Sichuan chillies.  Yes, that’s a cat tooth. How Does Cat Taste? Searching through the hot pot was a little bit disturbing, I could notice the various parts of the cat, like its entrails and even its teeth mixed throughout the dish. The meat was not like chicken at all, it was a light colored red meat – not that deep dark meat like dog. It tasted slightly similar to pork, yet full of weird little transparent fish like bones and with an ever so slight tinge of sour aftertaste. I will say one thing, the boneless chunks were a lot easier to eat than the little boney pieces. The cat intestines were surprisingly good, tender and flavorful – some of the best intestines I’ve had. http://thoughtcatalog.com/mark-wiens/2013/07/what-does-dog-and-cat-meat-taste-like/
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Feb 16, 2017 01:52
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quote:A few months ago, for no reason at all except we thought it was hilarious, my girlfriend and I shaved her dog's arse with her father's beard trimmer. quote:I work in a health screening lab. I was trying to figure out when I had completed a proficiency test (which has my last name attached to it - my last name is not common), and was searching through our records when I came across the name of my sister in law. Had her address and phone number. We handle testing for some of the free clinics, not nice hospitals where my brother and his family would normally be seen. My SIL was seen for an STD test. What I've done is a huge HIPAA violation. I do not know what to do. Part of me wants to tell my brother, but I'm risking my career and his marriage. Right now I'm leaning towards taking it to my grave.
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Feb 16, 2017 06:16
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You're leaning the right direction, my friend. Not only would you be getting involved with something that isn't your business whatsoever, as you said you violated the law seriously and could be banished from your profession for life if it came out. That's of course if it was something that isn't HIV. If it is HIV, enjoy your ourobouros of a moral conundrum.
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Feb 16, 2017 06:21
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If she's not a horrible person then he probably already knows.
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Feb 16, 2017 06:38
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areyoucontagious posted:And if the counter argument is that Uber is too expensive, well, maybe if you know there's a possibility you're going to poo poo your pants, have a rainy day poo poo-my-pants fund Or post on a SA political thread saying you're a gay muslim who needs pants
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Feb 16, 2017 06:45
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The only believable feshes in like a dozen pages. Creative Convention fuckin sucks at this.
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Feb 16, 2017 07:33
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Yeah most of these last confessions have been fake and dumb and I really wish that people would just stop trying and let us enjoy the thread, because all the best ones have been pretty obviously genuine. Unlike the dumb loving cat meatball confession. Like if the son is old enough to be convinced that the father is a bad person, isn't he old enough to eat a loving meatball? Why wouldn't the ex-wife feed the kid the meatballs if someone just gave her a meal and she didn't have to cook dinner?
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Feb 16, 2017 08:09
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creative convention was ironically named it's like 6 horribly uncreative people constantly jerking each other off so basically fyad 
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Feb 16, 2017 08:18
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Taking an STD test isn't some damning thing. I've known people that take them routinely even when in a committed relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean she was sleeping around or she suspects him, it could just be a peace of mind thing. Either way though it's absolutely none of your business and if you like your job you should keep it to yourself and never go snooping again. Cat guy is so obviously fake I don't know how it managed to get so many sincere replies. It is ultra-low effort "creepy pasta"-esque garbage right down to the "creepy" sounding ending summary line. If you start thinking about any of the details at all (the skinning/cleaning, the difficulty in getting a cat to hold still enough to put nails "between their eyes", why an ex-wife would accept a random offering of food from her ex that she clearly hates...) it adds up to complete bullshit.
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Feb 16, 2017 09:19
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STD SIL: maybe she's worried she got the STD from your brother but doesn't want to go where she's known.
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Feb 16, 2017 10:12
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areyoucontagious posted:Hahaha "my ex painted me to be a bad guy, when I'm really not, so I murdered her cat and fed it to her" Sounds like somebody's writing Trump fanfic
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Feb 16, 2017 11:01
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Chard posted:Weird revenge drama aside, I'd probably eat cat meat given a chance. Not from strays though they probably are full of parasites. You can eat my pussy anytime 
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Feb 16, 2017 11:03
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Dirty Frank posted:You can eat my pussy anytime He said "not from strays."
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Feb 16, 2017 11:14
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KomodoWagon posted:He said "not from strays." Its full of parasites too 
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Feb 16, 2017 11:21
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Dirty Frank posted:Its full of parasites too I wouldn't expect anything less from Dirty Frank.
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Feb 16, 2017 14:34
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Catballs: It's literally a south park plot.
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Feb 16, 2017 20:49
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whiter than a Wilco show posted:Catballs: It's literally a south park plot.
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Feb 17, 2017 00:39
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STD guy, your SIL knows where you work, right? She probably had that test done there on purpose, so you'd see it and know shes DTF.
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Feb 17, 2017 03:16
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There's a lot of mundane poo poo, too. Like my birth control has to be replaced every 3 years, and my normal gyn doesn't keep them around because there's not enough demand, so I go to a free clinic that gets much higher volume. It could easily be some dumb nothing like that. v When they replace my birth control, they do a full STD panel without even asking, it's just part of normal well-woman checkups Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Feb 17, 2017 |
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Feb 17, 2017 03:30
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i like nice words
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I dunno, there's a big difference between going to the free clinic for mundane poo poo and going for an STD test. Look at this way: she could be cheating, or she could be worried about your brother cheating, or any one of a few reasons (although honestly there's not many). Are any of them worth blowing up your career?
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Feb 17, 2017 03:35
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