Facebook Aunt posted:

Kind goons can you help me find a thing? A few days ago in some funny thread someone posted a tweet of a picture of text on a grey background that was a story of someone telling Trump that maybe they should use PPPs to prevent the infrastructure spending from destroying the budget and trump was all "A trillion in spending would ruin the budget?" and they all nod and he says "Why didn't you tell me?" or something to that effect. Sound familiar to anyone? I thought it was this thread, but I can't find it now.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Pick posted:

on my planet we bring pointy little assholes into our house to eat our stuff and poo poo on the floor. what? no, there's no ritual purpose. we love them.

JoelJoel posted:

Oh, and they sit on every surface, pressing their bare rear end in a top hat firmly down on said surfaces.

And they shed. And bite. And many of us are allergic to their fur and saliva.

JoelJoel posted:

Oh, and they sit on every surface, pressing their bare rear end in a top hat firmly down on said surfaces.

And they shed. And bite. And many of us are allergic to their fur and saliva.

Aleph Null posted:

Also, they can carry a germ that infects people and turns them into cat-loving zombies.

Sappo569 posted:

china bot posted:

what kind of scrub cat doesn't use the stool smh

KozmoNaut posted:

No.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3689224/

Say Nothing posted:

Say Nothing posted:

Sappo569 posted:

Shouldn't the .... colors be reversed ?

Oh wait I guess this is for non gender stereotype conforming people

Psycho Society posted:

I don't think they're meant to be used at the same time. Maybe though. You never know

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:

Hippety Hop Airtight

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:

"Hippety Hop Airtight" isn't a term I expected to enter my head at the start of this day.

Sir Potato posted:

Chard posted:

It;s times like these I wish I knew a sap who still had cable

veedubfreak posted:

It started off actually @midnight, but then Comedy Central got sick of that *uppity black guy* and cancelled his show, then moved @midnight to 11:30. Hardwick jokes about this at least every 2 episodes.

This is me commenting on executives, not me calling him uppity. I enjoyed the show.

Screaming Idiot posted:

With Colbert and Stewart gone, The Nightly Show was the only good show Comedy Central had.

Screaming Idiot posted:

John Oliver's only downfall is that he too-often adds jokes where no jokes are necessary

Screaming Idiot posted:

John Oliver is an adorable ratlike British creature with the power to make us laugh

Screaming Idiot posted:

With Colbert and Stewart gone, The Nightly Show was the only good show Comedy Central had. Trevor Noah is a milquetoast truth-is-in-the-middle dullard and he ruined The Daily Show with his weak humor and even weaker interviews. I hope Larry Wilmore can get another show someday, because he has the perfect mix of humor and intellect one needed for a thought-provoking comedy show. If Wilmore had a flaw, it's that he came off as "Black Jon Stewart" a little too often, though I attribute that to the authors giving him similar jokes as well as pressure from the higher-ups.

Luckily, Last Week Tonight exists to fill the void, and John Oliver is an adorable ratlike British creature with the power to make us laugh at the worst things in the world. His only downfall is that he too-often adds jokes where no jokes are necessary, but that's because it's a humor program at heart and he's trying to keep people from hanging themselves in despair.

Tiggum posted:

The opposite is true. Too often he forgets to make the show funny or entertaining for long stretches, and then tries to make up for it with some dumb musical number or something at the end.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

It's more that a lot of those things need saying through to their conclusion without losing focus to stop and tell a joke every few minutes, but he still saves a little levity for afterwards to bring the mood back up.

Beachcomber posted:

Do you think Jon Stewart loses sleep over whether he could have kept Trump out of office?

Beachcomber posted:

Do you think Jon Stewart loses sleep over whether he could have kept Trump out of office?

BJPaskoff posted:

Screaming Idiot posted:

I'm thinking rather than trying to throw in an unnecessary joke, he should just go ahead and play it straight. The way he presents the topics tend to be funny in and of itself, and the blatant jokes just feel tacked on. Too often he goes with "[insert long, yet intriguing piece of obscure yet horrifying fact presented concisely, yet witty manner], and that's why Janice in account needs to just stop! Just stop, Janice! Just stop!"

Like, no, dude. Not every line has to end with a joke. You gotta mix the wit in, otherwise it's just like chugging the thick, sugar-slurry at the bottom of a cup of poorly-stirred coffee.

But no, Noah is terrible. He's a poor man's poor man's poor man's poor man's Jon Stewart with none of Jon's experience or backbone. I'll even watch The Late Show over The Daily Show, because while Colbert minus the conservative pundit gag is milquetoast liberal comedy personified, at least he's got decades of experience and enough fame and clout to occasionally push through some actual biting sarcasm despite it being on Boring Old People Network.

I'd like to see Larry Wilmore have his own show without relying on celebrity guests. He had to rehash Daily Show headlines too often, yeah, but he did it better than that useless waste of space Noah ever did. In fact, all of these shows would be improved if they dropped the celebrity guests, because almost all of them are insufferable shitheads trying to shill some movie or book or record and have nothing interesting or witty to say. That's one place where Oliver shines -- his show focuses on issues, many of which are totally obscure yet important and relevant, and he rarely has to do celebrity interviews.

And so this post isn't just me talking about how much Trevor Noah sucks -- he does -- here is a bunch of Valentine's day cards from Vegeta.