A Wizard of Goatse posted:

because, as you'd find out quickly if you went into reddit proper instead of skimming the drama high points off here, she's a spineless no-self-esteem dorkamungus like 98% of people there

quote:

So by all outward appearances I'm pretty normal, I'm not unattractive, I work out, I wear decent clothes, I have a really good education and got a great job in the same city I went to college.

But I just can't seem to stop people from taking advantage of me (not sexually or anything). For example, at work if our boss asks for volunteers to work on a Saturday, everyone will wait and wait and wait to volunteer because they know I'll get stressed out that no one is and volunteer. I've worked every Saturday this has come up, six time while everyone else on my team has only had to work one of those days. Aside from a gift certificate to Trader Joes or a movie, there's really no recognition from it either.

I feel like there's something about me that makes people feel like they can take advantage of me. My meals at restaurants are often wrong, but I never send them back because I'm afraid of getting the cook or server in trouble. I tried to have some work done on my yard and the original guy used super cheap materials and everything got ruined when it rained but instead of calling him to fix it, I just paid out of pocket for someone else to come in because I was afraid of the confrontation.

Why I'm writing this: Just now I went to get some coffee. I had a big bill I've been wanting to break so I asked the cashier if he could take a $50. He said yes. My coffee was like $3.90 after taxes so he handed me $1.10. I just looked at it petrified to even mention that he had made a mistake. So I accepted the change and walked on. I told my co-worker and she about grabbed me out of my chair to walk down to the coffee shop to demand to speak to a manager. I just can't make myself do this because I'm rationalizing that even if the guy took my change, he probably has a good reason and needs the money a lot more than I do--and even he probably made an innocent mistake.

Obviously this is HUGE problem and I can't live my entire life like this. How do I change this?

tl;dr: I feel like everywhere I go, I get taken advantage of. From work, to restaurants to work on my house to the coffee shop. I'm scared of confrontation, but how do I get over this?

quote:

Hello Reddit! I made a throwaway for this since my son was the one who introduced me to this website and he might stumble upon this. This is my first post so please forgive me if this is lengthy.

My husband [58 M] and I own a large home in a rural neighborhood. We have lived here for over 20 years, ever since the kids were in elementary school. We have four children, our daughter Marissa [30 F], our daughter Sarah [28 F], our son Richard [25 M], and our son David [21 M]. Our youngest daughter, Sarah [28 F] and her husband [Billy, 30 M] moved back in with us when she found out she was pregnant with our first grandchild (2 months old now).

Our youngest son, David (the 21 year old), moved out of the house a few months ago when he was accepted into the military. I love my children with all my heart, but I was very happy to have the house all to myself for the first time. I am an art professor and can be rather eccentric. I was looking forward to being able to express my creativity outside of my studio for the first time since I had children. My subject matter is usually fantasy, featuring princesses, dragons, and fairy tale elements.

A few months after David moved out, Sarah announced that she was pregnant and needed to move back in with us until she and Billy could save enough money to buy their own home. The plan was for them to put their rental money into a savings account until they had enough for a down payment on a cheap (but decent) home. In exchange for the free rent, Sarah agreed to take care of the household chores and grocery shopping. We have a guest wing addition to our house and my husband and I agreed to allow them to live in the guest wing so that we could each have our own space, and also because it is the only child-proofed area of the house. Everything was fine until Sarah gave birth to our granddaughter and since then we have been getting into constant disagreements.

The fight happened over last night's dinner when our kids came over to eat with us. All of our kids were present except David. Marissa made a comment about the mural I am putting up in the foyer and how nice it was coming along. Sarah started making quiet scoffing noises but I did my best to ignore her. Then Marissa and I started talking about my other art pieces and the scoffing noises got louder. I asked Sarah if she had a comment to make and she made some excuse about tending to the baby and she left the room.

While cleaning up, Marissa and I overheard Sarah talking to Richard and Billy about me. Sarah was saying that I am too immature, that I leave messes everywhere, that I'm a delusional artist. Billy then said that he liked my art and Sarah started going from painting to painting, pointing out my subject matter and criticizing it. Richard then left the room to come into the kitchen with Marissa and I and he rolled his eyes (in Sarah's direction) when he saw that we had been listening. We decided to give Sarah some time to cool off.

Later on that night, Richard was showing us some of the recordings he made with his band. He had to go out to his car and when he came back, he made a joke about tripping over the tiles for the mosaic mural in the foyer. Sarah then started back up with her attitude and asked me why I felt the need to leave my mess in the foyer. I explained to her that I have been working on the mural for two years and since it is nearing completion, it makes more sense to leave the tiles on the floor instead of packing them away each day. I also explained that she has her own entrance to the house and that I will not be moving the tiles from the foyer until the mural is completed.

Then Sarah asked if I ever cleaned up for myself, or if I took sick pleasure in watching her do it for me. I told her that I do not clean up for myself and that was the reason why I hire a maid. When Sarah moved in, we reduced our maid service from 2x a week to once a week, but we have always had the maid come. Sarah then said that I clearly need to hire the maid service more often, and my husband then told her "I'm sorry, but if you want to continue to live here rent free, then you are the maid. We will not let you live here if you do not earn your keep." To keep this in context, Sarah's duties are doing the dishes, turning on the Roombas, and keeping the living rooms neat, less chores than she had as a teenager.

Sarah then flipped out and started screaming, criticizing me (and to a lesser degree my husband) and saying that I was acting like a spoiled princess who needs to grow up, just like the princesses in my paintings. Sarah accused me of trying to force my ideas about gender roles onto her daughter, saying that by forcing her to clean I was showing that I don't believe women should do anything else. I explained to her that I have been a feminist since before she was born and that she needed to calm down. She then told me to come back to this decade and to 'grow up' and see my art for what it is. I asked her how a depiction of a medieval dragon was sexist, and she just kept screaming until she stormed off to her section of the house.

Billy stayed behind and told me that he loved me, that he has always liked my art, and that we had been more than fair to them. I told him I loved him too and asked if he thought Sarah has post-partum depression. He said that she had been tested for it, but that her doctors did not think she has it. Billy then said that Sarah has always felt this way about me, even when she was a teenager.

Reddit, I'm at a loss with this one. This feels like it came from nowhere, but apparently this has been brewing for years. What would you do?

TL;DR: Daughter and her family had to move back in with me. She agreed to clean in exchange for rent. After the baby was born, she has been increasingly hostile. We got into a massive fight and she accused me of being lazy, sexist, and immature. Her husband admits that our daughter has been harboring these feelings for years.

Palisader posted:

My [56 F] daughter [28 F] and I got into a huge fight over how I manage my household. She thinks I am a delusional artist who needs to act my age, I think she's being completely unreasonable.
u/throwawayfornothing12y


Idk, dragon grandma seems cool

Palisader posted:

My [56 F] daughter [28 F] and I got into a huge fight over how I manage my household. She thinks I am a delusional artist who needs to act my age, I think she's being completely unreasonable.
u/throwawayfornothing12y


Idk, dragon grandma seems cool

Palisader posted:

My [56 F] daughter [28 F] and I got into a huge fight over how I manage my household. She thinks I am a delusional artist who needs to act my age, I think she's being completely unreasonable.
u/throwawayfornothing12y


Idk, dragon grandma seems cool

Tears In A Vial posted:

I wanna see grandmas dragon mural

Palisader posted:

My [56 F] daughter [28 F] and I got into a huge fight over how I manage my household. She thinks I am a delusional artist who needs to act my age, I think she's being completely unreasonable.
u/throwawayfornothing12y


Idk, dragon grandma seems cool

Wendigee posted:

I asked her how a depiction of a medieval dragon was sexist

Hughlander posted:

Counterpoint. Bitch daughter has an 8 week old and likely hasn't slept in weeks. It doesn't excuse it but there's a reason you rarely see new parents unless you stop by for short short periods of time.

quote:

My boyfriend [21 M] doesn't like that I [21 F] stream video games on twitch.

Hi, I would like some advice/to hear some input.

I want to see if my boyfriend is being reasonable or not, though it seems to me like he sounds pretty reasonable.

I'm a female streamer (21 years old) and started streaming video games a few months back. This past month, I started taking streaming very seriously because it's something I love to do and really enjoy it! I even created a consistent schedule and have put a lot of work into growing my channel.

(for those of you who aren't familiar with twitch, you stream video games and typically have a face camera and interact with viewers in your chat. I'm a very modest person and don't have anything questionable on my channel, and don't say any questionable things to any of my viewers.)

I just hit over 165+ followers this week and feel very content at the rate my channel is growing!

However, my boyfriend isn't very thrilled. He is my best friend of 7 years, and we've been in a happy and healthy serious relationship for over 2 years.

My boyfriend just let me know earlier today that he doesn't like when I stream because it makes him feel very jealous and sad inside. That hurt my feels because I didn't know he felt that way, and I'd never want him to feel like that. He DIDNT tell me that I should stop streaming, he literally said this:

"I try support you streaming but it just makes me feel very sad inside and then I feel jealous too. I don't expect you to understand how I feel but I don't like that other guys show you attention, and if i could help it, I would. but I just can't help but feel this way. I guess I see how serious you are about it and I just know it would drive me crazy if your channel grew to be a much bigger channel. I dont wanna stop you from streaming, but if you blow up, I just couldn't handle it. I could almost promise that it would mess up our relationship. My jealousness would mess it up...it would be because of me. And I love you so much so I just thought that I would be honest with you and finally tell you, because I've always felt like this really."

Anyways, I'm really hurt for two reasons. 1) I'm sad that he feels that way, but I'm glad he told me. 2) but now I feel like I have to make a choice....

I obviously would choose my boyfriend in a heart beat because I love him with all of my heart. He comes first before any of my hobbies. But at the same time, I feel devastated because streaming is something I really enjoy doing.

Let me put it this way.... it just sucks that I can't happily do both. And yes, I could still stream, but I wouldn't feel happy knowing that he feels sad/jealous/hurt when I do so.

Anyways, I think he's being reasonable. I understand there are some creeps out there on twitch, but I just wish that he would fully support me and not feel that way.

Any opinions/comments/advice?

As of now, I think I'm going to close down my channel but I want to know:

What would you do in this situation? close your channel, keep streaming, or other?

Also, how would you feel if your significant other streamer video games online?

Do you think my boyfriend is being reasonable in why he feels that way?

TL;DR:boyfriend feels sad and jealous that I stream video games on twitch. he didn't tell me to stop streaming, but I feel like I don't have a choice.

corn on the cop posted:

"i'm scared that my girlfriend is going to get too popular and leave me for chad"

Drunk Nerds posted:

I must be misunderstanding this. If someone you're dating makes plans then doesn't show up at all2-3 times in a short period... you'll come back for more?

Pick posted:

yeah your mouth doesn't make you orgasm. oral sex IS a chore. we just aren't supposed to say so because men are fragile.

Wendigee posted:

I asked her how a depiction of a medieval dragon was sexist

Nazzadan posted:

Me [26 M] with my [25/F] of 6 months who got mad I rode her like a horse.

Hughlander posted:

Counterpoint. Bitch daughter has an 8 week old and likely hasn't slept in weeks. It doesn't excuse it but there's a reason you rarely see new parents unless you stop by for short short periods of time.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

And this is a mega stretch but postpartum depression maybe even.

Regardless, I wanna see not just the mural but the house. I bet it's got cool stuff.

quote:

So I didn’t confront Kathy during break. I didn’t even get to decide whether or not I wanted to because as soon as my break started, my Supervisor, Linda approached me. Linda explained that she knew Kathy reached out to me about the office clique. Over lunch, she told a story about how something like this happened to her in high school, and that Kathy was reaching out to me to be her proxy. That she knows I don’t hold these events but I should speak on Kathy’s behalf. I said I understood when another Supervisor, Dan butted in.

Dan said Kathy also told him about the office problem, but he ignored it because he knew she has been invited. They discussed it among themselves and cited that people have used the company email to send out invites. This allowed the Supervisor to see the exchanges between everyone. Kathy had been invited and bluntly stated no to several things/not to waste her time.

Linda apologized to me and told me to forget about the Kathy issue but the core message still counts.

When I went to the break room, Kathy made a bee line for me. She started questioning me about how my talk with the Supervisor went. How together we could take down the ageist office group and that we should get coffee after work.

I lied saying I had a family thing and went home. At home, I checked the reddit post and went back onto Kathy’s fb. There was a new post about how she was playing a little office prank on the office idiot. People commented her to “spill” but she didn’t update them. I feel like that was about me.

I started screen capping her posts, though only the ones that flat out bullied people. I felt like HR would care about those then any grey areas. Aside from the racist post about Brad, she made a post about a plan to sleep with a married coworker by getting him drunk.

All of this has been weird. At work, Kathy is a professional, determined and a little head strong. But in this field, thats a good thing. She gets good scores/reviews from clients. But now all I see is her posting vile things about people I care about. Calling it “TruthTea” then running to me like a victim of a make believe problem.

I’m going to avoid her unless we’re on a project together. I don’t want to be her flying monkey. I don’t know what to believe from her anymore.

TL;DR: Didn't confront Kathy but she got a Supervisor to talk to me. We found out she was lying and now I'm avoiding her.

Edit: To answer someone who PM-ed me. Yes, I have high functioning autism. Yes, people at work know.

Edit 2:

HR emailed me back. They said they were calling Kathy into work this weekend. Since the office isn't open the weekends, it's clear she's in trouble. As advised from an earlier reply, I'm not going to check her FB anymore. Though watching the fall out would be nice/have a laugh, I would feel petty (?)

I don't think Linda was trying to force me to do anything. She understands that I don't get some social things (If you check out my last post/replies, I literally said Kathy should just ask to be included). She was just trying to explain it in a way I'd understand.

I fixed "budded" to "butted". Thank you for catching that.

I looked into the term "Flying monkey", and another subreddit came up (RBN). The people described there sound a lot like Kathy.

I'm signing out now so I won't be replying until Monday. Sorry.

quote:

ETA we have been together for two years

My boyfriend studied abroad last semester. I was really supportive of him going, he had the experience of a lifetime, and we made it through just fine with no infidelity or anything. Now he's been back for about three months and I've felt incredibly jealous.

Studying abroad was really hard on our relationship. I guess the more accurate way to say that would be that studying abroad was really hard on me. I didn't really feel missed or loved. I didn't feel like I was a part of his life. He became a different person over there, a really fun one that I don't get to experience. He went out drinking and partying a lot, always had plans... basically all he does at home is go to work and go to class. I am really jealous that I never got to experience the "fun" boyfriend that he was over there.

I even went to visit him and he just stayed with me the whole week I was there. We went out once because I begged him to and we still didn't go out to the places he usually goes. We watched all of Black Mirror that week though which was cool I guess.

He talks about it a lot and always talks about how badly he misses being over there and it just makes me feel really sad. It's hard for me that the best time of his life was the worst time of my life, if that makes sense? It's hard to explain but I hope that someone who went through a study abroad in a relationship understands.

tl;dr: My boyfriend went abroad, I felt left out of his life entirely, now he's back and I just feel jealous and sad whenever he talks about it. Has anyone been in my shoes? How did you get over it?

areyoucontagious posted:

How big is this swastika? You could turn that into a banging Windows 98 logo cover up!

quote:

Married for 3 1/2 yrs dated for 3 weeks before we got married, we've had a hard relationship but have overcome many horrible things even a breakup.

Have you ever not known what the hell is wrong with you, you're frustrated, angry and annoyed at the person you're with and they have done almost nothing but nothing both ways, nothing to make you feel better but also nothing to make you feel the way you do.

I am depressed, I dont want sex at all EVER, I just want to be left alone to study but even then I feel useless and stupid. I don't know what to do, I do suffer from depression but I had been doing everything to stay well, to stay afloat, now I don't feel anything when my husband touches me but there are times when I do feel a small flutter.

tl;dr: low libido,depression,and sleep too much. I dont know what to do and neither does husband, but it annoys me that hes' not even trying which makes my mental situation worse.

quote:

Dated 3 weeks before marrying?

You need to get help for your depression. Check your insurance, it may cover a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist.

But you might also be unhappy because you married someone you didn't even know.

quote:

we got along well and besides the rough patches we have learned to get to know each other. I just feel like he's not seeing or listening to me. We said no spending money this year so we could travel to Colorado and he could see if he likes it (we're supposed to be planning to move out of state) and he keep on buying concert tickets. Then he complains that I'm telling him how he's spedning his money and then asks me how much have I saved up (I just got a new(used) car because my civic broke down.

quote:

I don't know what to do. I used to take pills but when we got married he said he was uncomfortable with someone that took pills to be happy and asked me if I could try and live without them. I dropped them cold turkey and started to work on my mental health sans pills and it has worked (kind of) so far, I have my peaks and valleys but it have been able to manage them. I was even able to be at the same work party as the person he cheated on me at the beginning of the relationship (it has been worked out and I was over it, just never near the person) I was caught off guard becasue he didnt warn me or ask me if I still wanted to go and the person has started a new family so I know they've moved on (except for the death stares I got all night) she's pregs so I blame hormones.

I am planning on starting up pills again but that's because he had a similar anxiety attack due to the elections and he had to start taking pills and now he has no problem with them. This is very conflicting, when I was taking them we argued over why I was taking them and maybe I was just too lazy to deal with my own issues maybe things arent as bad as I see them. Now he NEEDS to take them and I support him and now he says I should take them again. I always feel like I have to justify everything I do until it hapens to him or he has to do something similar and then it's all ok and normal

he has mentioned that maybe he was wrong about pills but that i need to understand that people change their opinions about things and since he has had to start taking pills and nothing is helping me that then maybe i should start taking pills. Not "I was wrong sorry" he is almost incapable of saying those words. this has been one of the small things that bother me.

Laughing Man posted:

An update on work sociopath lady, and a surprise twist!

UPDATE:Coworker [25F] thinks we [22F] [20 - 30 F/M] are using "office politics" to bully her? It was just a prank?


I wonder who the people on this lady's facebook are asking about how her odd work prank are, prop worse than she is.

Laughing Man posted:

Oh I found a live one...

I [28F] have lost all libido and my husband [33M] of 3 yrs is at a loss on what to do.

Pvt.Scott posted:

quote:

I asked her how a depiction of a medieval dragon was sexist

Please make this the new thread title, tia.

Laughing Man posted:

Oh I found a live one...

I [28F] have lost all libido and my husband [33M] of 3 yrs is at a loss on what to do.

quote:

[–]tfm_ephemeris [score hidden] 20 hours ago

Wtf? Anxiety attacks due to the election to the point of needing medication??

permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply

[–]Redditmucational[S] [score hidden] 18 hours ago

he was following it for the entire year from 2015 he had massive attacks to the point we ended up in the hospital 4 times

corn on the cop posted:

you forgot:

Laughing Man posted:

Oh I found a live one...

I [28F] have lost all libido and my husband [33M] of 3 yrs is at a loss on what to do.


3 weeks lol, that's a typo right?

question to the op;


op's reply ( no mention of the 3 weeks lol )


more op

Drunk Nerds posted:

While everything seems to add up, I find it a bit odd that there is no question or issue posted. Dear /r/relationships, my daughter is a bitch. The End...

But even that could be chalked up to "grandma likes to toke up and vent on reddit in lieu of strangling her daughter"

Pick posted:

I know way too many people like Kathy and they are all loving terrible assholes who think they're more intelligent than anyone else that apparently doesn't notice and take advantage of opportunities to gently caress other people over.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Life's a dirty game... Ya gotta play dirty to win it

liar_ur_a_liar posted:

Justin Farrell coward racist toronto ontario

hey you little ratfink coward


dont go joining anti semite cliques in hs and making a hate group like sycophant squad with jeph k and expecting me to want to defend it while im getting straight up bullied my whole childhood for being a "JEW"


if u join a wiccan pact when ur like 10 with some idiots like yazim tayag and deserae campbell, trying to make your best friend into paul bernarnda serial rapist of grade school and then carrying that same gossip on from geocities into 2017 thats a crime

using an instititution to systematically predate on your childhood friends is nothing but cult behaviour. the extra judicial sharia law aspect and the racism entrapment aspects that i experienced make it treason

GET THE gently caress OUT OF WRITING AND THE INTERNET

TAKE YOUR WHOLE drat FAMILY WITH YOU IDIOT

make sure you take those especiqually cliqued up faggots pual and kevin with you because they flat out bought into ben's family coalition neil mcneil white knights NIACENE CREED
NO AGENCY FOR WOMEN HOUSE WIFERY IS FEMINISM

and its like get the gently caress away from me i didnt want this poo poo following me beyond my kid years in grade school or hs

i let you touch my mom


and ur whole crew of deceptive betraying COWARDS AND LIARS

ur worse a mysongist and liar and coward than kate and ryan who basically own the website with lowtax LOL AND TRIED TO KILL A GUY AND STEAL HIS MONEY


and u wonder why those girls commit the slenderman murders or teen suicide is high?

its because of family coalition irish catholic cult mentality of backstabbing like JUSTIN FARRELL


HEY SUPER GROVER IF U READ THIS DONT HIRE THAT BITCH TO WRITE ANYTHING HE DOESNT GET THE MORAL OF THE STORIES AND COULDNT UNDERSTAND LORD OF THE FLIES

HES SEXIST AND HOMOPHOBIC AND A LIAR

- from dare @ http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/

Pick posted:

The trick is that you never know who will be in a position to help you or gently caress you over in the future, so make as many friends and as few enemies as you possibly can.

DragQueenofAngmar posted: