STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

«‹›2879 »

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

"Special Longer Version"

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 12:39

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Is this actually shorter or what?

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:37

Evek: Apr 26, 2002; "It's okay. I wouldn't remember me either."

Thats the TV/Home Video Cut. Its longer because they threw in a bunch of unfinished deleted scenes.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:39

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Evek posted:

Thats the TV/Home Video Cut. Its longer because they threw in a bunch of unfinished deleted scenes.

So it is a really unnecessarily long cut off the movie?

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:41

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

Is this actually shorter or what?

Doesn't matter. TMP is what I put on to fall asleep. It's so boring and not even "photon... torpedoes... away!!!!" Can save it.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:41

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

The vectrex video game style graphics are kind of charming to my broke brain, millennial self.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:48

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Oh my God, I don't care about Spock's bullshit on Vulcan.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:53

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Shatner with the slimming tunic.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:54

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

These special effects are really loving beautiful. Too bad you can't make an entire movie that way!

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:55

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Apropos of nothing, that bleep-bloop version of Vivaldi's Four Seasons in that episode of Voyager where they have to get back the probe that tells everyone how to build nukes is surprisingly good.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:57

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

3 days out threat, only one ship in range. That's the Federation! :slide whistle:

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:57

The Human Crouton: Sep 20, 2002

I liked TMP, but it was also the first ST of any kind that I ever watched. So maybe I just liked the setting and general idea. I should watch it again now that I have more experience under my belt.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 04:58

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I see what they were driving at. It's awesome in the context of reviving a cult hit TV show on the big screen.

I would have been creaming my pants if I saw this in the theater.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:00

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Kirk is giving the Enterprise the gently caress eyes.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:01

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

The gruesome transporter accident really starts this movie of on a high note.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:09

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

My grandfather looked like disco Bones. Imagine growing up with that.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:17

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

This whole wormhole scene is on drugs.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:25

Tighclops: Jan 23, 2008; Unable to deal with it; Grimey Drawer

Baronjutter posted:

I'm posting from this situation right now.

No no sorry bud we're doing Babylon 5 right now

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

"Special Longer Version"

This is loving av quality material

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:47

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I couldn't do it. I'm watching Office Space and King of the Hill instead. Also, I accidentally turned on closed captioning on my TV and it's weird at poo poo seeing my TV covered in label maker writing when I watch VHS.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:57

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

This whole movie is on drugs.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 06:21

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

I've read through about 30 pages of the thread but no chance in hell can I possibly read all of them. I used to watch Voyager and TNG probably about equally when I was a kid (not much, just whenever they were on and not much else was) and I preferred Voyager at the time. I watched Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy recently and then watched the first two episodes of the first season of Voyager out of curiosity in the last few hours and it's not bad? Maybe I just like kind of cheesy poo poo like this. I hated Firefly and thought DS9 and the new BSG were tedious as gently caress when I watched those so I'm not a big serial scifi person in general but honestly Voyager seems light, kind of dumb and enjoyable so far and I like Janeway

# ? Feb 22, 2017 06:29

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Baronjutter posted:

A good star trek could be anything set in the trek universe.

Yeah but what even the gently caress is "the Trek universe" and what makes it particularly interesting (beyond nostalgia value) to set stories in?

The setting was always hollow, a stage flat for Our Heroes to stand in front of. It has a lot of baggage from the past, and if you try to say "well we feel free to just do our own thing and disregard whatever we didn't like" then what was the point of setting it in ~the Trek universe~ to begin with?

I mean, do you really care that much about "phasers on stun" and "beam me up"? About the only bedrock elements of the Star Trek setting are A) a united Earth at peace with itself, and B) space elves that are big on suppressing their emotions, and C) FTL travel, and if that's all you think Star Trek is, what's the point?

# ? Feb 22, 2017 06:47

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

I couldn't do it. I'm watching Office Space and King of the Hill instead. Also, I accidentally turned on closed captioning on my TV and it's weird at poo poo seeing my TV covered in label maker writing when I watch VHS.

Office Space hasn't aged well for me. The first half is still okay, but I always feel like the second half bogs down hard when it starts taking the plot too seriously.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 06:49

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

I know a lot of little random details of Star Trek but pretty much no idea how any of it fits together and I also don't care, which might be why I'm enjoying Voyager so far watching it from the beginning

# ? Feb 22, 2017 07:09

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Mycroft Holmes posted:

just found out there is a quark emote

I remember some people on the forums got pretty offended by it

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

"Special Longer Version"

I saw tmp in the theaters last fall and it owned. I sat in the 5th row. My entire field of vision was taken up.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 07:22

Space Crabs: Mar 10, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Aesop Poprock posted:

I've read through about 30 pages of the thread but no chance in hell can I possibly read all of them. I used to watch Voyager and TNG probably about equally when I was a kid (not much, just whenever they were on and not much else was) and I preferred Voyager at the time. I watched Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy recently and then watched the first two episodes of the first season of Voyager out of curiosity in the last few hours and it's not bad? Maybe I just like kind of cheesy poo poo like this. I hated Firefly and thought DS9 and the new BSG were tedious as gently caress when I watched those so I'm not a big serial scifi person in general but honestly Voyager seems light, kind of dumb and enjoyable so far and I like Janeway

If you think BSG and DS9 are tedious and you actually like Voyager, congratulations on having the worst taste possible in science fiction.

Having a good idea of your tastes may I suggest something you'll like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9bvbR9_Bw0

Space Crabs fucked around with this message at 08:04 on Feb 22, 2017

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:00

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Space Crabs posted:

If you think BSG and DS9 are tedious and you actually like Voyager, congratulations on having the worst taste possible in science fiction.

I'd rather watch most episodes of voyager than season 1 of DS9 or BSG in writer's strike territory.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:03

The Human Crouton: Sep 20, 2002

Volcott posted:

I'd rather watch most episodes of voyager than season 1 of DS9 or BSG in writer's strike territory.

Oh, is that what happened to BSG?

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:04

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

I've only seen the 70s bsg

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:05

Space Crabs: Mar 10, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Volcott posted:

I'd rather watch most episodes of voyager than season 1 of DS9 or BSG in writer's strike territory.

You aren't as bad as the other guy but you are close.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:06

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Uh oh, the Enterprise just beamed up a bunch of drunk Irish :beerpal:

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:12

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

The Human Crouton posted:

Oh, is that what happened to BSG?

Yup, right around the time they were putting season 3 together.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:30

The Human Crouton: Sep 20, 2002

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Yup, right around the time they were putting season 3 together.

Makes sense. That's exactly when I started hating it.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:43

The Human Crouton: Sep 20, 2002

Aesop Poprock posted:

I've read through about 30 pages of the thread but no chance in hell can I possibly read all of them. I used to watch Voyager and TNG probably about equally when I was a kid (not much, just whenever they were on and not much else was) and I preferred Voyager at the time. I watched Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy recently and then watched the first two episodes of the first season of Voyager out of curiosity in the last few hours and it's not bad? Maybe I just like kind of cheesy poo poo like this. I hated Firefly and thought DS9 and the new BSG were tedious as gently caress when I watched those so I'm not a big serial scifi person in general but honestly Voyager seems light, kind of dumb and enjoyable so far and I like Janeway

Don't worry. Voyager fatigue will set in. It will encompass you in its stupidity. You're not noticing it yet, but it's transgressions will add up and soon you will remember the first date where you hit if off so well for what it really was.

Also, remember that even in the very first episode, Janeway chose to remain stranded 75 years from home for ethical reasons. She did this because she wanted to force you to watch her stupid decisions for 75 years.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 09:09

Scudworth: Jan 1, 2005; When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.; Dinosaur Gum

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

"Special Longer Version"

Here's a podcast where the two hosts and guest Doc Hammer (from the Venture Brothers) discuss and rank every Star Trek movie:
http://www.maximumfun.org/we-got-this-mark-and-hal/48-best-star-trek-movie-w-doc-hammer

Doc Hammer is a huge trek fan and he starts out talking about that movie as "like someone laced my life with codeine / attacks your pineal gland / like you're floating in salt / it's eight hours long! / has elements that do not exist in movies"

If you like Venture Brothers and want to hear Henchman 21 nerd out about star trek I love it.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 09:36

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Someone to Watch Over Me;

Seven of Nine returns to a total lack of understanding of social interactions, observing the crew at a distance. And bluntly states that everyone with quarters on Deck 9, Section 12 is very aware of when Tom and B'elanna have sex. The Doctor leads a cringe-worthy lesson on romantic relationships for Seven that would make a High School Biology teacher cringe which leads to a :supaburn:

whacky bet :supaburn:

about her actually taking a date to the diplomatic function. It's also revealed that the Doctor is the supposed reason for her skintight bodysuits (he designed them). They do at least manage a pretty good scene of Jeri Ryan and Robert Picardo getting to show off their singing talents though.

As for the supposed A-Story, Voyager rips off a TNG plot with a supposedly-religious ambassador who really just wants to get hedonistic with some hasparat and pudding. I actually did like the final punchline of the Diplomat coming back to tell the Ambassador it's perfectly fine to deviate from that strict religious itinerary to try a little fun in moderation, and he was disappointed the Ambassador (apparently) didn't. More character than most of Voyager's main cast have had in five seasons squeezed into a single line.

Also, ST:VOY writers, if you're gonna have "social lessons" as a framing device, maybe don't repeat the same ones every couple of episodes.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 10:53

Scudworth: Jan 1, 2005; When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.; Dinosaur Gum

Neddy Seagoon posted:

As for the supposed A-Story, Voyager rips off a TNG plot with a supposedly-religious ambassador who really just wants to get hedonistic with some hasparat and pudding.

That's Scott Thompson from Kids In the Hall :3:

(Ezri Dax is also from KITH)

# ? Feb 22, 2017 11:51

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Scudworth posted:

Here's a podcast where the two hosts and guest Doc Hammer (from the Venture Brothers) discuss and rank every Star Trek movie:
http://www.maximumfun.org/we-got-this-mark-and-hal/48-best-star-trek-movie-w-doc-hammer

Doc Hammer is a huge trek fan and he starts out talking about that movie as "like someone laced my life with codeine / attacks your pineal gland / like you're floating in salt / it's eight hours long! / has elements that do not exist in movies"

If you like Venture Brothers and want to hear Henchman 21 nerd out about star trek I love it.

Are you suggesting there are people who don't like The Venture Bros.? I don't understand how that's possible.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 13:49

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

i dont hate the venture bros but i dont like it enough to start watching it when it started carrying around continuity, lacking a non-lovely place to watch it all without piracy, im not sure its worth the gigabytes on my computer

so like the first season i know is good i guess but then i see a random episode with the monarch going drat i miss being a bad guy??? I don't know, it's just weird to me in that i don't mind continuity i've just never seen a single thing out of context that made me want to watch

# ? Feb 22, 2017 14:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 12:39

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

The Human Crouton posted:

Don't worry. Voyager fatigue will set in. It will encompass you in its stupidity. You're not noticing it yet, but it's transgressions will add up and soon you will remember the first date where you hit if off so well for what it really was.

Also, remember that even in the very first episode, Janeway chose to remain stranded 75 years from home for ethical reasons. She did this because she wanted to force you to watch her stupid decisions for 75 years.

I never understood why she didn't just stay there and set the bomb off herself. No reason to strand all these people there too

# ? Feb 22, 2017 14:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

«‹›2879 »