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It gets easier after the first child
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Feb 22, 2017 14:00
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Wouldn't it be really obvious to a medical examiner that the kid died before being crushed? I've seen a lot of law & order and it seems like it should be. The no blood thing sounds like bullshit too, but hey, at least it is more believable than magic home depot bucket guy.
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Feb 22, 2017 14:02
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Maybe one day we'll believe one of your lovely stories, CC guys.
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Feb 22, 2017 14:15
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If we're talking minutes between the car accident and the cover-up, I'm not sure how the medical examiner could know this. Besides, some machines would crush the child, or a part of him, to such a degree that it would be impossible to know this.
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Feb 22, 2017 14:17
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"Hmm this child appears to have been struck by a car before being turned into a horrifying slurry of flesh, blood and bone"
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Feb 22, 2017 14:25
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KomodoWagon posted:"Hmm this child appears to have been struck by a car before being turned into a horrifying slurry of flesh, blood and bone" The confession didn't say he crushed him THAT bad. If a plausible accident happened like a machine rolled over him or something dropped on his head I would think there would still be injuries from the car collision that couldn't be explained by that one event. If he and his boss backed over him over and over until he was meat paste I doubt they would conclude it was an accident. It just seems like something they would have checked if the investigation went on for a long time like he said.
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Feb 22, 2017 14:33
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Maybe the kid was known for being kind of a jerk so they didn't care enough to really investigate
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Feb 22, 2017 14:47
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Maybe it happened TO the OP and he's a ghost, seeking revenge against the man who killed him.
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Feb 22, 2017 15:03
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The investigation may have went on a long time, but the medical examination could have been as fast as "yeah, looks like what would happen to a kid if a construction vehicle rolled over him." I'm sure the cops had to make sure the story stayed the same just in case.
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Feb 22, 2017 15:15
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So, like, whomever used the construction machine last didn't get convicted of manslaughter then? On the other hand they did leave the vehicle unattended with the keys in the ignition which is stupid and dangerous. It's a miracle nobody got hurt.
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Feb 22, 2017 15:34
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I'd think running over an 8 year old would at least dent your bumper so that'd be a huge red flag.
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Feb 22, 2017 15:46
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It didn't happen. Quit worrying about details when it didn't happen.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:54
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VanSandman posted:It didn't happen. Quit worrying about details when it didn't happen.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:59
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VanSandman posted:It didn't happen. Quit worrying about details when it didn't happen. The thread would be pretty empty (and would have very little point) except for the email posters if we just treated every one like STDH.txt. At least some of them have to be true so there's no harm in discussing them as if they were. Some are obvious like the alien ones and nobody needs to post to call those out as being fake but the kid killer one is at least plausible even though the story doesn't add up and any good police force would have taken a much closer look at the guy if it really happened.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:07
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It would be cool if the people would come up with more believable stories though. I for example am the "presidente for lifetime" of a small banana republic in south america but I'd never write a confession about it itt because nobody would buy that anyways
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Feb 22, 2017 18:18
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A kid wouldn't dent a delivery truck's bumper at all. Those things are rigid as hell. My buddy is a delivery driver for UPS and he says that he smacks into things all the time and the only thing wrong is maybe a little paint from the other vehicle rubbing onto the truck. Fun fact! UPS has an agreement with the city of Chicago to pay one lump sum per year for all the parking tickets they get so UPS drivers just throw them away and don't worry about where they're parking at all.Police Automaton posted:It would be cool if the people would come up with more believable stories though. I for example am the "presidente for lifetime" of a small banana republic in south america but I'd never write a confession about it itt because nobody would buy that anyways Are you per chance hiring? I'll accept pretty much any position.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:19
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I like how the obvious conclusion of "he committed suicide because of the guilt of what we had done" doesn't even get considered. He either killed himself because he got fired or someone murdered him.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:29
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I liked parallel universe one. I'd like to believe some guy just had a seizure inside a large pot at Home Depot and now he thinks he lived in an alternate plane for years.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:29
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Parallel universe goon, write what happened starting from waking up in the desert and ending with getting shot, then put it on kindle and maybe you'll get a couple bucks out the deal
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Feb 22, 2017 18:34
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yeah I eat rear end posted:any good police force would have taken a much closer look at the guy if it really happened.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:56
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Parallel universe goon, write what happened starting from waking up in the desert and ending with getting shot, then put it on kindle and maybe you'll get a couple bucks out the deal So like that one anime with all the depressing stuff and child wars? Near Far Here There or something?
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Feb 22, 2017 18:59
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Parallel universe goon, write what happened starting from waking up in the desert and ending with getting shot, then put it on kindle and maybe you'll get a couple bucks out the deal I'm pretty sure the Transall Saga has been available on Kindle for ages already.
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Feb 22, 2017 19:01
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:lol you think the police care about crimes that don't threaten capitalist hegemony The police aren't in fact a giant hivemind and there are police officers and detectives who do their job properly.
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Feb 22, 2017 19:03
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The police aren't in fact a giant hivemind and there are police officers and detectives who do their job properly.
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Feb 22, 2017 19:05
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Solice Kirsk posted:So like that one anime with all the depressing stuff and child wars? Near Far Here There or something? Now and Then, Here and There Not even sure how it was marketed as "entertainment" because it was pretty much "depression on disc"
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Feb 22, 2017 19:34
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HAT FETISH posted:I think it should be a thread rule that the stories are all true, especially when they aren't I agree one hundred percent. Life is so loving weird and random that some of these that scream STDH.txt probably did happen.
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Feb 23, 2017 00:37
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Parallel universe goon: Please give us as thorough a sample of the other world's dialect as possible. I understand you may not spell everything "correctly" but syntax/usage should be pretty on point if you learned enough that you occasionally slip into using it. Language experts would, at the very least, be able to verify that it seems like a plausible, cohesive dialect and that it isn't currently in use on THIS earth. burial fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Feb 23, 2017 |
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Feb 23, 2017 02:33
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limp_cheese posted:I agree one hundred percent. Life is so loving weird and random that some of these that scream STDH.txt probably did happen. Honestly calling stories fake in threads like this should get you a healthy probie
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Feb 23, 2017 02:38
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:McNulty always gets pulled off the case too early. I know how this goes 
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Feb 23, 2017 03:05
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lemon-lyme disease posted:Parallel universe goon: Please give us as thorough a sample of the other world's dialect as possible. I understand you may not spell everything "correctly" but syntax/usage should be pretty on point if you learned enough that you occasionally slip into using it. Dear Harvard Linguistics Expert, Enclosed is a post from the something awful dot com forums...
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Feb 23, 2017 03:46
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:Honestly calling stories fake in threads like this should get you a healthy probie Complaining about people calling stories fake should get an equal or greater probation
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Feb 23, 2017 04:50
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:Honestly calling stories fake in threads like this should get you a healthy probie Saying "That post is fake!!!" and nothing else ought to be considered  , since that's like saying "your post is made up of letters and words".
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Feb 23, 2017 05:01
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Heres a fake story for you: I once shat ants in my pants, and you know what? It MADE MY BELLY BUTTON DANCE.
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Feb 23, 2017 05:02
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OBJECTION, those ants would be much more concerned with protecting their colony than organizing a navel hoedown, should any of them in fact survive their anal imprisonment
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Feb 23, 2017 05:12
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Chard posted:OBJECTION, those ants would be much more concerned with protecting their colony than organizing a navel hoedown, should any of them in fact survive their anal imprisonment Double objection, the ants weren't dancing, the belly button was.
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Feb 23, 2017 05:32
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Here are some confessions, hopefully they will end the "fake or not?" derail:quote:I was self-owned at work when I was a young idiot and, in the spirit of growing up, I'm going to post it here. quote:I thought Scooby-Doo was a real dog until I was 15 years old. My parents told me that a real talking dog voiced the cartoon Scooby Doo, and I believed this. They said it was because the dog was getting older and couldn't perform in public like it used to, but people were so amazed they wanted to make sure to preserve his voice.
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Feb 23, 2017 05:33
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Fintilgin posted:Dear Harvard Linguistics Expert, Hey, now. There are probably people on the forums already that are semi-qualified to do this sort of analysis. DON'T RUIN THIS.
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Feb 23, 2017 05:37
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Even if fake, shorter is better, funnier, and more interesting. Both feshes were fun!
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Feb 23, 2017 05:39
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Scooby fesh is the good poo poo
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Feb 23, 2017 06:20
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quote:There's a pretty famous movie based on an event in my life, but you'd never recognize me walking down the street. You've probably seen the movie, and maybe you didn't even realize it was an exaggerated version of a real life event. quote:I was struck by lightning in my teen years and I believe it destroyed a vital part of me. I have no emotions any more.
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Feb 23, 2017 09:28
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