Fleta Mcgurn posted:

e: Ohhhhhhboy, I like your posts.

Imperialist Dog posted:

How'd you get the Anarchist A next to your name?

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

e: Ohhhhhhboy, I like your posts.

hakimashou posted:

smashing the state

E: i would legit love a fasces next to my name

mods please put this by my name for when I post in D&D

Ceciltron posted:

Ok this for real in order to trigger pissbaby virgin permanerds

The Great Autismo! posted:

i don't have much of an opinion on his posts but i am relieved he is finally enjoying his vacation in hong kong

Stringent posted:

Can we get some more badminton posts? Cause that poo poo owns.

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

oohhboy is like Haier if Haier were kind of autistic and didn't do anything fun or interesting or pork hosed up girls half his age.

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

Pirate Radar posted:

post a pic of your dog

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

angel opportunity posted:

mashed potato recipe

angel opportunity posted:

*Very gently flogged with perfumed bootlaces.*

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

McGavin posted:

Needs more grammatical errors, but good job. 9/10.

Outrail posted:

Cruel.

Hooooboy. Honest constructive criticism: As a longtime lurker and sporadic poster in the China threads; the only real issue is that your posts are really drawn out and read like a relative's travel emails ("Day three of my milqueholiday you're not a part of, you won't belive what just happened in Santa Marta!"). Goons don't have a long attention span, so just get to the point in two sentences or less. Otherwise keep posting.

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

angel opportunity posted:

China story

oohhboy posted:

This should have been said way earlier instead of brrrrrgggg. Goons gotta goons...

Definitely eaten too much and it wasn't even worth it. I want to bbbbbrrrrggg.

WarpedNaba posted:

In here or in there

webmeister posted:

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

webmeister posted: