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DoctaFun
Dec 12, 2005

Dammit Francis!
Hello there, have you been looking for the opportunity to educate someone on the mysteries of world football? Well here's your chance!

I'm from the US and played 'soccer' my whole life, I understand the game although I never had a coach worth a drat so we always got by on natural talent, not on any soft of tactics or strategy. I've been watching a lot more European football since having a baby, I'm up for all the early morning BPL games on NBC Sports. I also play a lot of Fifa, which has made me a lot more familiar with the players in most of the big European leagues. Naturally, my curiosity has reached an all time high and I'm looking for answers. Hoping you lot are a willing to oblige, if not, just make fun of the American dude who doesn't know anything or something, that's cool too.

How important is a 'good' manager compared to other sports?
I've always wondered how much of a difference a manager can make in professional sports, baseball for instance seems on the lower end of the spectrum when it comes to importance, while something like American football seems on the higher end. I mentioned before I never actually had a soccer coach who knew anything, so we just kind of had an initial formation and made zero adjustments or changes throughout the game. I look at a team like Chelsea this year though, who doesn't seem to have changed their roster too much from last year, but are having a drastically different season.

How different is club football from international football?
I think this is probably a pretty obvious question, it seems like the elite clubs have far more talent than most national teams, but is it just about talent or the fact that they play more frequently with their clubs than they do with their national teams?

Why is USA so bad at football?
My theory on this is that there isn't the same money to be made in the US if you play soccer as there is in baseball/football/basketball/etc, so there aren't any amazing athletes who choose to play soccer at a young age. They are being told to specialize in sport x at an early age. If some of our most prodigious athletes had moved to Europe at a young age and played football instead of 'other sport', would we have more American soccer stars? I just look at some of the players in the NFL for instance and drat, they are freak athletes, what if they would have played soccer instead? I remember watching the last Copa America with some excitement as the US made it to the semi finals, then we played Argentina and it was like watching

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?
Are some countries known for producing rock solid defensive players? Are some known for producing the best strikers in the world? I look at a country like Argentina and see Messi, Aguero, Dybala, Di Maria, Higuain, Icardi and think holy crap that's a lot of amazing attacking players, but then I start to look for midfielders or defenders(maybe that wasn't the case when Mascherano/Otamendi/Zabaleta were a few years younger) and I don't see nearly the same level(or maybe I'm wrong). Is this a thing or is it just natural talent cycles?

Does everyone argue all the time about which European league is the best? Which is the best?
BPL seems to have a bit more spread of talent than the other big leagues, but that could just be that it's the most visible league for me. Seems like Bayern Munich and PSG just curb stomp their leagues every year and LaLiga is the Atletico/Barca/RM show. Serie A seems like it has a handful of teams that could compete, although Juventus seems like maybe they are on a slightly higher level?

Is Zlatan the coolest player in the world?

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Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire
Hey, welcome.


DoctaFun posted:

How important is a 'good' manager compared to other sports?

I can't comment too much on other sports, but having a decent manager can be the difference between finishing dead last and surviving, or finishing 3rd and winning a title. Good manager know when to adapt their tactics based on players available, the opposition, the competition itself and the playing conditions. The best managers have trained their players in multiple formations. You Chelsea example is a good one, Conte loves his 3-5-2 but he knows how to utilize his players in 4 man backlines, or even adaptable 5 man wingback versions. His style of play is fluid but compact at the same time. When you look at a shithouse like Wenger, he doesn't adapt ( :troll: )

quote:

How different is club football from international football?

Very, like you said club teams can purchase or scout exact player they want from all over the world and train together all the time. National teams don't train together often and you have a much more limited selection. These two factors tend to lend themselves to more conservative tactics as well in international football, especially in qualifiers and group stages. There's a constant war that goes on between the national organizations and the clubs over injuries, compensation and other things.

That said, international football is fun during big tournaments and mostly dire during qualifications and friendlies.

quote:

Why is USA so bad at football?
My theory on this is that there isn't the same money to be made in the US if you play soccer as there is in baseball/football/basketball/etc, so there aren't any amazing athletes who choose to play soccer at a young age. They are being told to specialize in sport x at an early age. If some of our most prodigious athletes had moved to Europe at a young age and played football instead of 'other sport', would we have more American soccer stars? I just look at some of the players in the NFL for instance and drat, they are freak athletes, what if they would have played soccer instead? I remember watching the last Copa America with some excitement as the US made it to the semi finals, then we played Argentina and it was like watching

The US mostly sucks because the infrastructure for football in America is vastly different than in the rest of the world. The academies that exist for MLS aren't really like academies in Europe, the NCAA system for football is incredibly bad, and like you said, it's just less popular. The whole "if Tom Brady played soccer we'd be world cup champions" thing is a contentious argument, though. I personally don't think that anything other than physical stamina translates from sport to sport, and the training you get as a kid and as you get older matters a lot. The USA really isn't a terrible team all things considered. There are much worse national teams out there.

quote:

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?

Italians play defensively, the Spanish play fluid passing football, the English punt it up the pitch, the Germans win in the end. South Americans all play beautifully compared to the European brutes. These stereotypes are pretty much holdovers from more than a decade ago, nothing really holds up for more than a world cup cycle any more. There is something from each country's football cultures that you can catch in their national teams and leagues, but it's not nearly as distinct as it used to be.

quote:

Does everyone argue all the time about which European league is the best? Which is the best?

Morons do. Watch what you like. The English league certainly has the most money and is easiest to watch in America. Easier than in England from what I've heard.

quote:

Is Zlatan the coolest player in the world?

Nope, that is actually Antonio Cassano

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

DoctaFun posted:

How important is a 'good' manager compared to other sports?

Managers can be everything or nothing. Ranieri last season with Leicester, Liverpool under Rafa, United under Ferguson are probably the best three examples. All are teams that (at one point or another) did not have the best players in the world but were able to perform far above their weight due to the manager's skill. This can mean playing the right players in the right positions (tactics), or simply motivation. For a bad NFL example, look at the Patriots. They don't necessarily have the best players in every position (except for QB) but the combination of players and strategy has kept them at the top.

On the flip side, there are teams that seem to perform well regardless of the manager. Chelsea are arguably the best example of this - apart from Mourinho last season they have performed consistently at a high level under numerous managers. See also: Southampton, arguably Barca. Having the best players in the world (and the money to pay them) does help.

quote:

How different is club football from international football?

Training is the big thing. Club footballers spend about 10 months of the year with each other. They train basically every day and play week in, week out, often using the same tactics. International football is much more intermittent, so players don't necessarily have the same level of communication. You can also be dealing with players who are playing in different leagues, in different countries, so the style of football can be completely different. As such, the international game is generally slower, and much more tactical.

There are some exceptions - Spain's players are basically all Barcelona and Madrid graduates, so they play together a lot growing up and are able to bring that to the international scene. Germany are similar.

quote:

Why is USA so bad at football?

Not American so I don't have any intimate knowledge of football in America, but I place the blame squarely on the college system. Let's look at Spain for a comparison. The best Spanish players get scouted at an early age (if it's anything like England it'll start before they're even ten). They'll be whisked off to one of the academies at Barca or Madrid, and spend the next ten or so years growing up and playing with the other players at a very similar level. The very best will move through the youth teams and eventually break into the senior team and the international side. The others will go off and play at other teams around the country, and if they improve they'll get into the international team as well. This means you get a team of players who have grown up together, usually in a similar style of football, all coming through at roughly the same time.

In America, you might get lucky and play in a high school team that's got some good players. Then you might get scouted by a college team with other good players. Then you might get drafted by a team with some players of a similar skill (but probably not, because the worst teams get the first picks). So you have no continuity in your development, no clear line of coaching or tactics, and are constantly being moved from team to team.

quote:

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?

Italy - defensive. 5 at the back, win 1-0.
Spain - fast, passing, counter attacking football, but weak defensively
Germany - ruthlessly efficient
France - could be fantastic but more likely to fall into infighting
England - usually teams with lots of promise, but end up playing plodding, slow, tactically naive football. Basically we're poo poo

quote:

Does everyone argue all the time about which European league is the best? Which is the best?

The EPL (English Premier League, not Barclay's or British or whatever B is meant to stand for) probably has the widest spread of talent and money, and anybody can genuinely win the league (though usually the same four or five teams are at the top). Germany has the best fan atmosphere, Spain has the best technical players, Italy is probably the best tactical league.

quote:

Is Zlatan the coolest player in the world?

Big Jimmy Milner

DoctaFun
Dec 12, 2005

Dammit Francis!

Gigi Galli posted:

Hey, welcome.

The US mostly sucks because the infrastructure for football in America is vastly different than in the rest of the world. The academies that exist for MLS aren't really like academies in Europe, the NCAA system for football is incredibly bad, and like you said, it's just less popular. The whole "if Tom Brady played soccer we'd be world cup champions" thing is a contentious argument, though. I personally don't think that anything other than physical stamina translates from sport to sport, and the training you get as a kid and as you get older matters a lot. The USA really isn't a terrible team all things considered. There are much worse national teams out there.

Nope, that is actually Antonio Cassano



Thanks for the info, good stuff.

I don't think it's fair to say you could drop a professional NFL player onto a football pitch and have him be effective, but when I look at some of the elite cornerbacks in the NFL for instance, they have such fast feet and are so strong you'd think that raw athleticism/speed/agility would translate well to soccer, but who knows.


EvilHawk posted:

Managers can be everything or nothing. Ranieri last season with Leicester, Liverpool under Rafa, United under Ferguson are probably the best three examples. All are teams that (at one point or another) did not have the best players in the world but were able to perform far above their weight due to the manager's skill. This can mean playing the right players in the right positions (tactics), or simply motivation. For a bad NFL example, look at the Patriots. They don't necessarily have the best players in every position (except for QB) but the combination of players and strategy has kept them at the top.


I heard an interview with Ranieri at the end of last year, someone asked him what his goals for next year are and his response was 'avoid relegation'. It sounded funny at the time, but holy crap, he wasn't kidding.

A couple more questions:

Are Messi and Ronaldo over the hill so to speak? Is there anyone out there that looks like they could come close to filling those two's shoes? How special are those two players when you look back through the years?

I always watched the world cup growing up, and to this day the only thing I really know about Roberto Baggio is that he skied one over the crossbar in the shootout against brazil in the '94 finals, is that what I should remember about him.

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

DoctaFun posted:

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?

Now we're talking.

The noble English are the only team that play fair, everyone else cheats, this only applies to the main England team, not the other English teams (Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Gibraltar, Falklands and so on). The Italian team is composed entirely of Argentinians. Germans are Turks. Swiss are Albanians. France are not Scorpios. Spain are racist drug cheats. Every other national team has 4 or 5 Brazilians playing for them. Kosovo is Serbia.

Countries that have committed genocide on each other will put aside their differences and play together but Spain refuse to play Gibraltar. Israel play in UEFA because Islam is so vibrant and cultural. Australia play in Asia because they got bored of beating Polynesians 30 nil every game. There can only be two good teams in CONCACAF at any one time, at the moment its Costa Rica and Costa Rica U21s.

Africans are all several years older than they say they are and they, along with the English and women, can't produce good goalkeepers. There is no word for striker in Portuguese. Italy produces great defenders and even better match fixers. Scotland both are and is bad. Scandinavians are well organised which is football speak for "I know nothing about this team". There are no black registas and the only man who knows why hasn't revealed the secret. Flouncy latiny sort of countries produce good attacking midfielders but don't like it up em. No human can name more than 3 players from the middle east. Germany are the only team autistic enough to practice penalties.

To conclude, here is a picture of the Hungarian national team arriving for a game:

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

DoctaFun posted:

I always watched the world cup growing up, and to this day the only thing I really know about Roberto Baggio is that he skied one over the crossbar in the shootout against brazil in the '94 finals, is that what I should remember about him.

It is unfortunately the defining moment of his career to many people, but he was one of the greatest players of all time. The whole reason Italy even got that far was almost entirely down to him. At a club level, he played for most of the major teams in Italy at the time and played for two "minnows" in his late career, scoring a ton of goals for both. The guy basically defined the modern playmaker role during his era and for anyone that saw him play throughout his career, the penalty miss is just a really terribly timed blip.

I'm probably a bit biased because he's from my hometown and I grew up watching him in his prime, but I don't think too many people would disagree with me.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE

quote:

How important is a 'good' manager compared to other sports?
I agree broadly with what everyone's said so far, but there's also a distinction in what type of manager works well with different types of club. Managers' skills are generally split between tactics, motivation, and coaching, and a 'good manager' can be a specialist or a generalist in those skills.
A good tactician can adapt to the players and situations involved, a good motivator can instil a mentality which prevents collapses or encourages comebacks, a good coach can make sure that the players do their jobs to the best of their abilities. In addition at most clubs the manager has a lot of say in which players are bought and sold or promoted from youth teams.

quote:

How different is club football from international football?
The problem with international football is often the format of the tournaments generally incentivises low-risk 'play to not lose' strategies in qualifying and early stages. Once the knock-out rounds are reached the excitement is increased.
There's also the problem that most countries do not have 11 world class players, and those that do have enough that there are selection problems because you can't leave any of the 'stars' out of the team even if they don't fit together in any sane way.

quote:

Why is USA so bad at football?
I think the USA is generally pretty good at international football, but is not helped by the generally poor quality of the CONCACAF teams they play against most regularly. Rolling over Belize or Trinidad & Tobago doesn't train a team very well to play against the better South American and European teams they're likely to face later on in tournaments. I understand that there are increasingly more international matches between North and South American teams which will only help the USA

quote:

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?
Spanish/Portugese/South Americans are perceived as intelligent players, but fragile and shameless cheats
British teams are tactically backwards but tough
Eastern Euros and Balkans are filthy thugs and probably racist

quote:

Does everyone argue all the time about which European league is the best? Which is the best?
Currently the debate tends to be whether Spanish La Liga or English Premier League is #1, the next tier is arguable between Italy and Germany and then you have France comfortably ahead of the rest of Europe. Most leagues are dominated by the richest clubs, but most only have 1-3 clubs who are comfortably richer than the rest. Because of the TV money sharing agreements in the Premier League even the poorest clubs earn more money than some of the second tier clubs in other countries and there are more clubs capable of winning the league because this has made it harder for the top teams to steamroller the rest of the league. Spain has two of the best clubs in the world and they can attract the most skilled players to score a million goals against Betis or Celta Vigo or whatever. If that's your thing, go La Liga. The Prem is good for surprising upsets with a decent standard of football in every match.

quote:

Is Zlatan the coolest player in the world?
He plays for United and is therefore disqualified

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

DoctaFun posted:

Are Messi and Ronaldo over the hill so to speak? Is there anyone out there that looks like they could come close to filling those two's shoes? How special are those two players when you look back through the years?

They're both coming towards the end of their careers at the very top level, but both are still excellent. It's difficult to say who will fill their shoes at this stage. Both of those players were consistently good from a young age (Messi moreso) and have been consistently excellent ever since. I can't think of anyone at the moment who is as good as they were at a young age, but possibly there are a a couple who could step up. However I'm struggling to think of anyone off the top of my head. There are always plenty of young players who look like they could be all time greats, but for every Ronaldo, there are many more Quaresmas. I don't know if we'll get anyone near their levels of consistency in the near future, more likely is that there will be a couple of players who are fantastic for a few years at their peak and then fall off a bit, like Ronaldinho did.

Both hold up against the all time greats and will be remembered as such, but it's very difficult to compare players from different eras. When Pele was around, the game was a lot slower, but a lot more brutal. Someone like Messi gets much more protection from officials, but has to be a lot more athletic as the game is much faster now. Nobody knows if one would have been as good in the other's era. Also, with someone like Pele, all we really ever see are glorified YouTube compilations. I don't know if I've ever seen a full 90 mins he played in, just highlights of big games in World Cups. I'm not saying he wasn't great, but it's difficult to compare a combined few hours of footage with a player for whom I can watch a full game most weekends out of the year.

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Gigi Galli posted:

It is unfortunately the defining moment of his career to many people, but he was one of the greatest players of all time. The whole reason Italy even got that far was almost entirely down to him. At a club level, he played for most of the major teams in Italy at the time and played for two "minnows" in his late career, scoring a ton of goals for both. The guy basically defined the modern playmaker role during his era and for anyone that saw him play throughout his career, the penalty miss is just a really terribly timed blip.

I'm probably a bit biased because he's from my hometown and I grew up watching him in his prime, but I don't think too many people would disagree with me.

real harsh on Dino here op

DoctaFun posted:

What are some nationality stereotypes in world football?
Are some countries known for producing rock solid defensive players? Are some known for producing the best strikers in the world? I look at a country like Argentina and see Messi, Aguero, Dybala, Di Maria, Higuain, Icardi and think holy crap that's a lot of amazing attacking players, but then I start to look for midfielders or defenders(maybe that wasn't the case when Mascherano/Otamendi/Zabaleta were a few years younger) and I don't see nearly the same level(or maybe I'm wrong). Is this a thing or is it just natural talent cycles?

It's a mixture of cyclical talent and the impression a good player leaves on the national consciousness. Every englishman secretly desires to be Bobby Moore and win world cups while merking Pele. Brazillians and Argentinians grow up with Pele and Maradona as a sort of hybrid footballer-deity and so kids want to re-enact their skills, which leads to everyone wanting to be #10 (the shirt numbers matter hugely), and the best of these players can similarily define football for the next generation. This means that the Argentine team's best 25 players are a mixture of 23 playmakers and 2 really hard bastards who kick playmakers. Similarily, the Dutch all want to be misanthropic bastards, like Cruyff, and the French don't like football because there is nothing likeable about Michel Platini and their other good player is an Algerian who lives in Spain.

You've also got coaching as a factor, and that depends on how the national youth setups are organised. Everyone knows that England will immediately start hammering long balls and crosses if anyone over 6'1 is on the pitch because the coaching outside of club academies is awful and that's what you do when people expect 10 year olds to play on full size pitches. Spain and Nederlans players were, historically, very technical from playing on minipitches or five a side almost the whole way up to the first contract. Germany have overtaken this to an extent and are coming into a huge golden generation because they massively revamped their youth system in line with modern tech after being destroyed by Emile Heskey. The coaching creates patterns of play a player will revert to under pressure, so you see Spain's players passing it around for the sake of exhausting people right up until they draw a game. So these stereotypes stick around on some level until somebody bothers to do something about it.

Italy's reputation as defensive geniuses come from some big world cup performances in the 80s and 90s, revitalised by Cannavaro. The Milan teams in particular have had great success with insanely good defenders, and AC Milan before they collapsed had a collection of the best 35 year olds in the world. Don't need pace if you don't concede.

Blue Star Error posted:

No human can name more than 3 players from the middle east.

Yossi Benayoun, Javad Nekoumanan, Ali Al-Habsi, Beram Kayal

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
If you talk about bsggio should really.mention the ridiculous injury he recovered from

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Spangly A posted:

Yossi Benayoun, Javad Nekoumanan, Ali Al-Habsi, Beram Kayal

You made two of them up

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham
xavi hernandez

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Portugal are the European Champions, and thus probably the best team in the world OP. They are also the most well-liked football team in TRP.

Nostradingus
Jul 13, 2009

OP, since you're American, please also consider watching MLS and joining us for good times in the MLS thread. all our posters left and it's lonely in there

e: don't expect to see good football, MLS is awful

DoctaFun
Dec 12, 2005

Dammit Francis!

Spangly A posted:

real harsh on Dino here op

It's a mixture of cyclical talent and the impression a good player leaves on the national consciousness. Every englishman secretly desires to be Bobby Moore and win world cups while merking Pele. Brazillians and Argentinians grow up with Pele and Maradona as a sort of hybrid footballer-deity and so kids want to re-enact their skills, which leads to everyone wanting to be #10 (the shirt numbers matter hugely), and the best of these players can similarily define football for the next generation. This means that the Argentine team's best 25 players are a mixture of 23 playmakers and 2 really hard bastards who kick playmakers. Similarily, the Dutch all want to be misanthropic bastards, like Cruyff, and the French don't like football because there is nothing likeable about Michel Platini and their other good player is an Algerian who lives in Spain.


This makes a lot of sense, I grew up knowing about Maradona and Pele, but I wonder how different it would have been had I grew up with youtube. The ability to watch highlights or just general footage on any of the great players currently playing would have likely had an impact, especially given the amount of visibility soccer gets in the US(zero). The only exposure to international football we'd get outside of the world cup would be when some European dude would come over to run a mini-camp or something. Or the USA cup(lol), when we'd get all jacked up to play some international opponents and then we'd play some team from Iowa. Has anyone here actually heard of the USA cup? It's a international youth soccer tournament, I grew up in Minnesota so it was a huge deal, but I always had a feeling that the international teams that came over were more than likely NOT the cream of the crop.

Thanks for the replies, I'm learning a lot, I especially like the stereotypes I'm reading as I'm not sure which ones are based on truth and which ones are made up.

I read a comment somewhere about David Luiz that mentioned he is the best player in the world at his position. It just so happens that he's the only player in the world that plays his position, a box to box center back. Is that a known joke? I thought it was hilarious and he seems like a pretty cool dude. Again, I only really get exposed to this stuff through the NBC broadcasts, so it's fun to hear the banter from those who are closer to it.

Who has the worst reputation?
I know Luis Suarez has bit like three people or something, which is pretty amazing. Anyone else out there who is just despised? Diego Costa seems like a pretty unlikeable fellow.

DoctaFun
Dec 12, 2005

Dammit Francis!

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Portugal are the European Champions, and thus probably the best team in the world OP. They are also the most well-liked football team in TRP.

Haha, I watched the Euros, and it was pretty boring. Even the commentators were taking pot shots about Portugal's tactics which I thought was interesting. But Ronaldo did cry and I felt bad for him.

Was is Portugal who had a dude in the starting lineup who was like a plumber or something?

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham
john terry

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham
john terry's finest moment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GEB-TYLMmQ

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Followed by

https://youtu.be/f3tWqZ0pNC8

Insurrectionist
May 21, 2007

Blue Star Error posted:

You made two of them up

This checks out, I've only heard of Benayoun and Al-Habsi and I'm pretty sure the other two are from name-generators OP

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

DoctaFun posted:

Has anyone here actually heard of the USA cup? It's a international youth soccer tournament, I grew up in Minnesota so it was a huge deal, but I always had a feeling that the international teams that came over were more than likely NOT the cream of the crop.

Thanks for the replies, I'm learning a lot, I especially like the stereotypes I'm reading as I'm not sure which ones are based on truth and which ones are made up.

You know I think my school team might have played in the USA cup. They certainly went to play a tournament in Minnesota, would have been 98/99ish. Also all the stereotypes I posted are real.

edit: Yeah I just looked it up, they won the thing in 2001

Blue Star Error fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Feb 23, 2017

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

DoctaFun posted:

Why is USA so bad at football?

The entire American soccer system is set up for failure. At the youth level the vast majority of coaches are tactically and technically inept when compared to coaches in Europe. American high school and college soccer is at least 20-30 years behind Europe in terms of ability to develop talent. Go watch an NCAA soccer game, it's a shockingly bad standard of play. Sure there are a few players who come out of college systems and make it in Europe but they're few and far between. Usually they're defenders and goalkeepers as well, Clint Dempsey and Claudio Reyna being a couple of the rare exceptions. MLS teams have started to set up academies in a similar vein to European clubs but the level of commitment, and importantly, money isn't there for clubs to roll out something like La Masia at Barcelona. At this stage, for the US to make good on their proclamations that they think they can win a World Cup by 20XX the entire youth setup needs to be totally changed because the US doesn't produce players with technical ability good enough to be world class and the reason for that is the coaching and training they get at the youth level. Whenever American players are talked about by players from other countries it's always about work rate and fitness, not actual footballing ability, again with the general exception being goalkeepers, but even that has regressed in recent years.

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Blue Star Error posted:

Now we're talking.

The noble English are the only team that play fair, everyone else cheats, this only applies to the main England team, not the other English teams (Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Gibraltar, Falklands and so on). The Italian team is composed entirely of Argentinians. Germans are Turks. Swiss are Albanians. France are not Scorpios. Spain are racist drug cheats. Every other national team has 4 or 5 Brazilians playing for them. Kosovo is Serbia.

Countries that have committed genocide on each other will put aside their differences and play together but Spain refuse to play Gibraltar. Israel play in UEFA because Islam is so vibrant and cultural. Australia play in Asia because they got bored of beating Polynesians 30 nil every game. There can only be two good teams in CONCACAF at any one time, at the moment its Costa Rica and Costa Rica U21s.

Africans are all several years older than they say they are and they, along with the English and women, can't produce good goalkeepers. There is no word for striker in Portuguese. Italy produces great defenders and even better match fixers. Scotland both are and is bad. Scandinavians are well organised which is football speak for "I know nothing about this team". There are no black registas and the only man who knows why hasn't revealed the secret. Flouncy latiny sort of countries produce good attacking midfielders but don't like it up em. No human can name more than 3 players from the middle east. Germany are the only team autistic enough to practice penalties.

To conclude, here is a picture of the Hungarian national team arriving for a game:


blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Shrapnig posted:

The entire American soccer system is set up for failure. At the youth level the vast majority of coaches are tactically and technically inept when compared to coaches in Europe. American high school and college soccer is at least 20-30 years behind Europe in terms of ability to develop talent. Go watch an NCAA soccer game, it's a shockingly bad standard of play. Sure there are a few players who come out of college systems and make it in Europe but they're few and far between. Usually they're defenders and goalkeepers as well, Clint Dempsey and Claudio Reyna being a couple of the rare exceptions. MLS teams have started to set up academies in a similar vein to European clubs but the level of commitment, and importantly, money isn't there for clubs to roll out something like La Masia at Barcelona. At this stage, for the US to make good on their proclamations that they think they can win a World Cup by 20XX the entire youth setup needs to be totally changed because the US doesn't produce players with technical ability good enough to be world class and the reason for that is the coaching and training they get at the youth level. Whenever American players are talked about by players from other countries it's always about work rate and fitness, not actual footballing ability, again with the general exception being goalkeepers, but even that has regressed in recent years.

Also a large portion of the population (read: black people) aren't exposed to the game at a young age.

Arquebus
Feb 19, 2013

DoctaFun posted:

Who has the worst reputation?
I know Luis Suarez has bit like three people or something, which is pretty amazing. Anyone else out there who is just despised? Diego Costa seems like a pretty unlikeable fellow.
Yeah, Suarez has in fact bitten three people, including once at the last World Cup.

He's now retired from playing - currently manages Melbourne Victory - but our very own Kevin Muscat was definitely up there for cuntiness. And, to go back in history a couple of decades, this Vinnie Jones montage is a thing of beauty. He's a Hollywood actor now. For more off-pitch things, Tim Cahill is pretty godawful apart from 90-minute periods when he is playing for your side and has spent the better part of a year carefully alienating Australians as much as he can. He's a thin-skinned mercenary with an inflated sense of his self-worth for a player who can't even start regularly for his club.

As for Diego Costa, he's an ultra-competitive, very aggressive player, and a big source of his controversy is that he's Brazilian - was capped twice for them. The thing was, though, he'd spent his early career in Spain, and became eligible for their national team leading into the 2014 World Cup - you can switch international allegiances unless you've played competitive internationals for any given side, and his appearances for Brazil came in friendlies. Spain called him up and were then spectacularly bad in the World Cup, but Costa probably still had the last laugh - you've probably heard about the Brazil vs. Germany semifinal (if you haven't, treat yourself), one of the most surreal moments in football.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
To be fair they had a decent idea under Klinnsman for bypassing the need for high quality domestic academies: hand out caps to German kids with American ancestry.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Arquebus posted:

Yeah, Suarez has in fact bitten three people, including once at the last World Cup.

He's now retired from playing - currently manages Melbourne Victory - but our very own Kevin Muscat was definitely up there for cuntiness. And, to go back in history a couple of decades, this Vinnie Jones montage is a thing of beauty. He's a Hollywood actor now. For more off-pitch things, Tim Cahill is pretty godawful apart from 90-minute periods when he is playing for your side and has spent the better part of a year carefully alienating Australians as much as he can. He's a thin-skinned mercenary with an inflated sense of his self-worth for a player who can't even start regularly for his club.

As for Diego Costa, he's an ultra-competitive, very aggressive player, and a big source of his controversy is that he's Brazilian - was capped twice for them. The thing was, though, he'd spent his early career in Spain, and became eligible for their national team leading into the 2014 World Cup - you can switch international allegiances unless you've played competitive internationals for any given side, and his appearances for Brazil came in friendlies. Spain called him up and were then spectacularly bad in the World Cup, but Costa probably still had the last laugh - you've probably heard about the Brazil vs. Germany semifinal (if you haven't, treat yourself), one of the most surreal moments in football.

Suarez is in the unique position that he's probably one of the five best players in the world and nearly everyone thinks he's a totally mental oval office. He's probably costing himself millions of dollars a year in endorsement money because of his reputation. Not that he needs the money anyway but fucks sake, the guy bit three people and got done for alleged racial abuse in a 4 year span. I won't put the handball in the World Cup in the cuntiness because I think most players, if put in that position, would have done the same thing.

Players like Vinnie Jones and Kevin Muscat were poo poo so their cuntiness can kind of be waved away.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
Joey Barton managed to be too cunty for Scottish football somehow

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Suarez is also in that bizarre position of being the nicest guy in the world off the pitch. Like usually with these kind of players, like Terry, you know they're total cunts off the pitch as well as on it. But Suarez is a great bloke, like that story of him stopping to play football with the downs syndrome kid when he was at Liverpool, and as soon as he steps on the field he turns into a total nutjob.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Are you sure he wasn't just kicking a ball at a mirror?

GOOD TIMES ON METH
Mar 17, 2006

Fun Shoe
I'd like to learn more about football youth academies because they are very weird to Americans. Are they like boarding schools where you sign a contract and your 10 year old is shipped off the Barcelona? Or do families all move with the kid? I assume they are required to provide a secondary level education? How much are kids signed for initially? Do real hotshot little kids get a better offer to join or does everyone get the same deal? Is there competition between academies for signings?

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

I think Barcelona's academy starts as young as U-8 and those kids are pretty much segregated from the rest of the world while they're in the academy. It's very much a "you're here to play football but also you have to go to school" mentality. All of their schooling is done at the academy.

If you're familiar with the IMG Academy in Florida it's pretty much the same thing but Barca start in third grade instead of high school.

Grievo
Jul 13, 2006

God.

Shrapnig posted:

I think Barcelona's academy starts as young as U-8 and those kids are pretty much segregated from the rest of the world while they're in the academy. It's very much a "you're here to play football but also you have to go to school" mentality. All of their schooling is done at the academy.

If you're familiar with the IMG Academy in Florida it's pretty much the same thing but Barca start in third grade instead of high school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saW3gfWaDBI

Eau de MacGowan
May 12, 2009

BRASIL HEXA
2026 tá logo aí

GOOD TIMES ON METH posted:

How much are kids signed for initially? Do real hotshot little kids get a better offer to join or does everyone get the same deal? Is there competition between academies for signings?

They're not allowed officially to put kids on wages, but clubs have been known - particularly for families from the third world, if the kid is talented enough - buy houses, offer immigration support and employment visas to the relevant families so they can move as one with their kid, as well as other coincidental 'incentives'. Barca basically did this with Lionel Messi and his dad, and also threw in a whole suite of hormone therapy to allow him to grow above legal dwarfhood.

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

I think it's interesting to speculate how the U.S. will improve at football as the years go on. I think that many less children will be allowed to play american football now that we know how high the risks for CTE are. You're basically certain to get it if you play in the NFL, and the majority of college players will suffer effects. While at the professional level, the only players that are really built for the MLS/USMNT are Cornerbacks and WR's, I think there are a lot of college players at the right size to make the leap just based on the size of the population.

Reprisal
Jul 20, 2001
As a counterbalance to criticisms of international football, one of its virtues is that managers seem willing to take great tactical risks.

Managerial tenures on the international level are generally short, and they're all trying to achieve the best result possible. They're more receptive to high stakes gambles. It's def true that teams play conservatively within their system, but there seems to be greater risk taking in the choice of systems themselves.

1994 is notable for the development of the modern fullback. 1998/2002 demonstrated the competency of single striker systems. 2008-10 saw the rise of the "false 9", as in 6 players in midfield with no designated striker. And from 2012-2016, Germany, The Netherlands, and Italy, among others, deployed 3-man defensive backlines (Germany lined up with 4, but when Lahm or Boateng/Howedes went forward the other remained).

In many instances, international experimentation presages more widespread adoption in domestic leagues. Part of what makes major international tournaments fun is watching managers employ new ideas to cover weaknesses and shoehorn their best players into the side. Sometimes it fails spectacularly, and sometimes it changes football forever.

jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes

DoctaFun posted:


I don't think it's fair to say you could drop a professional NFL player onto a football pitch and have him be effective, but when I look at some of the elite cornerbacks in the NFL for instance, they have such fast feet and are so strong you'd think that raw athleticism/speed/agility would translate well to soccer, but who knows.


Definitely.

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
Allen Iverson would have been the greatest "world football" player of all time.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

blue footed boobie posted:

Allen Iverson would have been the greatest "world football" player of all time.

Let's not have this dumbass conversation please, nor the concussion one, thanks.

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DoctaFun
Dec 12, 2005

Dammit Francis!
Great info guys, keep it coming.

I have been watching a few of the F2 youtube videos, they are kind of annoying but those two dudes are pretty talented. In one of the videos they talk about the geography of the Premier League and it was really interesting to see. Basically, all the premier league teams are clustered in a geographic area similar in size to the state of Alabama. Obviously the rivalries are fierce, are there a lot of physical altercations between fans? In the US you'll hear about fights every once in awhile, but it's mostly just people getting heckled in the stands. I've always heard rumors about referees in the South America being murdered and stuff like that, but I'm not sure how real that is.

Also, I saw the ESPN 30 for 30 on the Hillsborough disaster the other day, it was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. I asked my parents and other people who are older than me and most had never heard of that before. Did anyone else catch that? Just appalling the lack of planning/action taken that day.

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