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mormonpartyboat posted:sounds worse than a memphis dry rub yesss
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Feb 26, 2017 07:31
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i've never been able to distinguish between an irish and a shaved chimp (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 26, 2017 07:31
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cumshitter posted:i wish i could find the picture right now but i read a boook about north korean propaganda and the best part was that all the kims are potrayed as mothers of the people good book
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Feb 26, 2017 07:32
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deadgoon posted:i've never been able to distinguish between an irish and a shaved chimp same it's alienated me from friends and family (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 26, 2017 07:32
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Zyla posted:Currently, on Brigham Young University campus, there is a thing called “marinating,” where the man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina, and they both just lie there motionless. the gently caress Why don't they just do anal, weirdos
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Feb 26, 2017 07:32
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Eifert Posting posted:Holy poo poo y'all all the characitures are racist. Half of them are so bad you can't even tell what they're supposed to be. Welcome to the 19th century I think the guy with the pointy hat and the big pointy nose is supposed to be Jewish but I'm not sure
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Feb 26, 2017 07:32
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deadgoon posted:every factory is a stolen factory unless it is a co-op i am butchering this story and refuse to let my elders correct me on any of hte details but my great gramps came over and lived in chicago. apparently he knew a dude who had access to the mayor's office. they broke in one night, when chicago was going to build its interstate highway system, and got a peak at the bid list for this giant construction project. they made a shell company and placed a fake bid. they got the contract they didnt have an office or a single piece of equipment or a single employee. but they did have the name of the second lowest bidder, so they sold the contract to them great-gramps goes on a wild bender with his money. gets in the society pages of his paper. eventually he meets great-grams and decides he wants to marry her. this being before the depression he goes to her da "You can't marry my daughter. I have read about you. Go get a real job, prove yourself. Then I will grant you my daughter's hand in marriage." so great gramps goes and works at a baking equipment factory. the owner had died. the widow owned it but she was a woman so she let the second in command run it. second dude decides hes going to take the company public, grant himself a giant pay raise, and buy up enough stock to make himself majority owner. great gramps tells this to the widow the widow gives him the factory. he keeps her in comfort for the rest of her life. my family still owns it. im not bragging when i say "a factory." its a super run down building with an elevator so old that that it has three buttons: up, down, and stop. if you dont hit the stop button the elevator will grind itself to death trying to reach heaven or hel as a kid i would wander around the factory and read the employees playboys that htey didnt really hide or browse through old engineering books that referred to metaelllurgy with the two dots over the ae it was cool. also as a 9 year old i would call grandpas secretary and say, "Put me through to Mr. Cumshitter" and she would pretend i was a big important businessman
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Feb 26, 2017 07:32
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man the first episode of ronin warriors is both faster and slower than i remembered it establishes all the non ronin characters in like six minutes and then spends half the episode fightin a generic foot soldier mook while the ronin warriors exposit their brand identities
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Feb 26, 2017 07:33
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cumshitter posted:i wish i could find the picture right now but i read a boook about north korean propaganda and the best part was that all the kims are potrayed as mothers of the people the kims love portraying themselves as smiling angels from heaven, when the reality is uh  
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Feb 26, 2017 07:33
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logikv9 posted:college kids are ruining cooking for me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z2EhbBv_ZY
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Feb 26, 2017 07:33
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I hope you realize that by posting that cartoon you've garunteed another 200 years of 6th generation Irish Americans dismissing all racism and talking about how they are the real victims.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:33
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Admiral Ray posted:the gently caress And commit sodomy??????
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Feb 26, 2017 07:34
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Big Fat Iguana posted:And commit sodomy?????? do they call it that there
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Feb 26, 2017 07:36
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Zyla posted:Currently, on Brigham Young University campus, there is a thing called “marinating,” where the man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina, and they both just lie there motionless. mormonpartyboat posted:sounds worse than a memphis dry rub I just made some ribs tonight with some Memphis dry rub. Coincidentally, women are apparently ribs in Christianity.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:38
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Bert Roberge posted:I just made some ribs tonight with some Memphis dry rub. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand judaism
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Feb 26, 2017 07:38
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Nichael posted:funny because either though I love the guy, I never thought he was great at that simply because his voice is so distinctive. Tenzin, for example, is clearly JK Simmons He's actually only good at disguising his voice when he does the stupid voice. Otherwise, ALL of his characters sound the same.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:39
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Baloogan posted:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand judaism I used to date an Irish Catholic that I called a McRib.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:40
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happy page 1488 wait we're not quite there yet? poo poo
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Feb 26, 2017 07:40
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In college a girl called me at 2 AM in hysterical tears telling me she was going to hell because she made out with a guy and basically got wet. "Can't you just make a confession?" "IHT DOHUHSN'T WORK THAT WAY FOR US!" To this day I have no idea why she called me. I'm a vocal Agnostic and was raised Catholic, not Baptist or whatever Prot nonsense she was.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:41
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Admiral Ray posted:do they call it that there Anything that's not penis in vagina sex is sodomy my friend, and of the devil
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Feb 26, 2017 07:42
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Eifert Posting posted:In college a girl called me at 2 AM in hysterical tears telling me she was going to hell because she made out with a guy and basically got wet. lmebo worrying about sin, its literally the most solved problem in the religion like they have a big story arc that addresses it, makes for a decent read
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Feb 26, 2017 07:44
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Big Fat Iguana posted:Anything that's not penis in vagina sex is sodomy my friend, and of the devil ah, right. I associate it with blowjobs more
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Feb 26, 2017 07:44
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Just sitting here lmfaoing at these abrahamic fools atop my zorastrian tower of silence. Just lol.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:45
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No lie the story of Bathsheba was pretty hot.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:45
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Smythe posted:Just sitting here lmfaoing at these abrahamic fools atop my zorastrian tower of silence. Just lol.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:46
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A lot of the bible is pretty hot.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:46
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i basically bullshitted my way through getting confirmed into catholicism because i had a hook up through a deacon uncle but even at like 10 years old i figured confession was the biggest loving scam ever like the entire idea is that you confess your biggest secrets to the priest. getting people to tell you their biggest secrets sounds like an amazingly convenient way to control people and thats just built into the franchise
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Feb 26, 2017 07:46
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Smythe posted:Just sitting here lmfaoing at these abrahamic fools atop my zorastrian tower of silence. Just lol. My mom hated religion so much that she told everyone that she was a druid so she wouldn't have to see a priest or pastor after childbirth. So officially on my birth certificate it says I'm a Druid. I'm like 5 layers in of tipping my fedora. 1 platinum if you want Spirit of Wolf.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:47
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Bert Roberge posted:My mom hated religion so much that she told everyone that she was a druid so she wouldn't have to see a priest or pastor after childbirth. Been a long time since I've seen a Druid. Thought we got rid of your kind.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:49
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cumshitter posted:i basically bullshitted my way through getting confirmed into catholicism because i had a hook up through a deacon uncle but even at like 10 years old i figured confession was the biggest loving scam ever Ehhhhh. Catholic Priests are basically amature Psychologists, I've never heard anyone even insinuate anything like blackmail and like 70% of the people I ever met before college were lapsed Catholics.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:50
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The Human Crouton posted:Been a long time since I've seen a Druid. Thought we got rid of your kind. “You’ve ruined your own lands, you’ll not ruin mine!”
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Feb 26, 2017 07:51
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why does talpa have ascottish accent
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Feb 26, 2017 07:51
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i literally did not know i had gone to my own catholic confirmation ceremony until my mother elbowed me out of the pew and made me, at 10 years old, march with a bunch of 7 year olds up to the lecture to get my christ cracker like i sat down one day with my uncle in a church and he wasl ike, "See that symbol? That's alpg ha. The beginning. And see that one? That's Omega. The end." then six weeks later i was confirmed so now whenever i ahve to go church ijust get my cracker and i look at like people in their 80s still sitting in the pews who havent figured out how bullshit the cermeony is and im like 'lol come up and get your dried out wheat paste disc dude its not a big deal"
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Feb 26, 2017 07:51
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Fair warning though you poo poo talk Jesuits and I will write a very sternly worded letter.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:53
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Bert Roberge posted:My mom hated religion so much that she told everyone that she was a druid so she wouldn't have to see a priest or pastor after childbirth. My favorite Druid encounter was meeting a guy at a bar who claimed (along with a ton of other bullshit) to be a seventh-circle druid and showed us a full-chest sunburst tattoo, and a friend of mine called him out because his dad was part of the local druids and he'd never met the guy before. Stolen druid valor.
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Feb 26, 2017 07:58
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cumshitter posted:i literally did not know i had gone to my own catholic confirmation ceremony until my mother elbowed me out of the pew and made me, at 10 years old, march with a bunch of 7 year olds up to the lecture to get my christ cracker At the Methodist Church i went to the communion bread was kings Hawaiian 
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Feb 26, 2017 07:58
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HELLO!!! HI!!! WHAT WENT WRONG TODAY!!! I AM A POT!!!
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Feb 26, 2017 08:00
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cumshitter posted:i literally did not know i had gone to my own catholic confirmation ceremony until my mother elbowed me out of the pew and made me, at 10 years old, march with a bunch of 7 year olds up to the lecture to get my christ cracker Sounds like First Communion, not Confirmation.
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Feb 26, 2017 08:00
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one time me and my cousins snuck into the back of the church after mass. acommunion wafers come in giant see through plastic bags and would make a decent bean bag chair for a five year old. like imagine a five bound bag of waers. we were tossing them around like medicine balls, in the vault where they store the golden communion goblets for the gross rear end shared communion wine sipping, and the head priest got super pissed off at us for not treating bagged assembly line units of christ with the appropriate amount of respect
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Feb 26, 2017 08:01
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Inspector Hound posted:At the Methodist Church i went to the communion bread was kings Hawaiian Lol I knew multiple people who switched churches because the 'bread tasted better' or the 'pews were softer' or the 'air conditioning was better.' Whether communion wine should be alcoholic was something that could split entire congregations. I also lived in a cult house briefly because the rent was so cheap. $125 a month with utilities included. They did take off all the doors to bedrooms and bathrooms though to 'make sure people didn't masturbate' so it was a bit odd at times.
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Feb 26, 2017 08:03
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